THE EMIGRANT

BY
L. F. DOSTOIEFFSKAYA

TRANSLATED BY
VERA MARGOLIES

WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY
STEPHEN GRAHAM

NEW YORK
BRENTANO’S
1916

PREFACE

“The Emigrant” (Emigranta), by L. F. Dostoieffskaya, a daughter of Dostoieffsky the novelist, was published in 1913, and obtained considerable success in Russia. It is a study of the life of a Russian girl (or should we say woman? for she is not young) in Italy. It is a deeply interesting study of contemporary types. In truth, only two Russians take part in the story, the hero and heroine, Prince Gzhatsky and Irene. But the long struggle which is portrayed is a Russian struggle.

These Russians, however, are not the Russians of Dostoieffsky’s time. They are clearly of to-day.

Pride in Russia, and in Russia’s might and wealth and brilliant future, was one of Irene’s greatest joys. The Russian people seemed to her to be a race of chivalrous knights, ever ready to fight for truth and Christianity, and to defend the weak and the persecuted. When the Japanese War broke out, she asked herself, with the sincerest astonishment, how such pitiful monkeys ever could have declared war on such indomitable knights. She even pitied the Japanese for having fallen victims to such madness! Her despair and suffering at the news of our first failures is therefore easy to imagine. None of Irene’s near relations were at the war, but each of our losses, nevertheless, found its echo in her heart, like a personal misfortune. Overwhelmed with grief, she attached no importance either to the Russian revolution, or to the reforms that followed. Like all passionate idealists when their ideal is shattered, Irene rushed to the other extreme—that of a profound contempt for Russia.

And it is in contempt of Russia that the heroine finds consolation in Italy, and is even ready to throw over the Orthodox Church to which she belongs and enter a convent of sœurs mauves.

The chief interest in the book is the conflict between the influence of a certain Père Etienne and the influence of a compatriot of handsome looks and robust mind, Prince Gzhatsky. Irene is in a pension “teeming with old maids.” She is herself forty and unmarried. She is apparently without near of kin, and is lonely beyond words, but also selfish and extremely condemnatory in her outlook. But she is vivacious, spontaneous, engaging, and always asking pertinent questions.

The high demands she made of her ideal hero, the man she might marry, give one the idea that there is a certain amount of autobiography in this volume, for no doubt ideals ranged high in the home of Dostoieffsky. It is strange, however, that the question of selfishness and unselfishness does not arise in this enthralling study of an unsatisfied soul. Dostoieffsky himself was never tired of a certain Gospel sentence, the thought of which might have given calm to Irene: “Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die it abideth alone; but if it die it bringeth forth much fruit.” The whole book, however, has a haunting suggestion of Dostoieffsky—the ghost of the father is somewhere about.

This poor Russian woman has, however, lost herself in going to Rome. One sees how much happier she would have been if she had remained at home. It is common in Russians to go into ecstasy about Italy when they see it first.

“In Italy, amidst the brilliance and magnificence of Nature, in the magnificent chaos of cities buzzing with automobiles, humming with factories, you feel at least that Man is not losing himself; you feel he is the master, the centre. But in Moscow …” wrote Gorky, another unhappy exile; and it is a characteristic expression. The exile admires the West, but he must return to Russia.

A word should be said as to the discussion of the relative merits or demerits of the Roman Catholic and Orthodox Churches. It is not very competently handled by the authoress, but there is at least one most effective comment on ecclesiasticism as such:

“In your place I would go a little further still,” exclaimed Irene’s inner soul with malicious sarcasm. “I would destroy every New Testament in the world, except one—and that one I would put in a golden, jewel-studded box, and would bury it deep in the earth, forbidding its disinterment on pain of death. Over it, I would build a splendid golden shrine, and in this shrine I would celebrate night and day magnificent services with gorgeous processions. That would be entirely in accordance with the spirit of your Christianity.”

And she yearns for a Christianity freed from the prison walls of churches and forms.

Irene, however, thinks that if the Orthodox Russian Church elected a Patriarch it might recover its ancient power, and utter a “new word.” And there once more we see vaguely the ghost of Dostoieffsky. The great Russian, however, would not have spoken so kindly of the Roman Church (which he regarded as a sort of political conspiracy against Christianity).

STEPHEN GRAHAM.

London,
April, 1916.

THE EMIGRANT

I

Il n’y a qu’un héroisme au monde: c’est de voir le monde tel qu’il est—et de l’aimer.—Romain Rolland.

On the 15th of October, 19—, at four o’clock in the afternoon, in the garden of the Monte Pincio in Rome, sat a girl, no longer in the first flush of youth, Irene Mstinskaia. She held a book in her hand, having come to the park with the object of reading in the fresh air; but, as had always been the case since her arrival in Rome, she could not concentrate her thoughts on the English novel open before her. Her glance glided across the blue autumnal sky, lingered caressingly on the magnificent southern pines and palms, rested on the statues gleaming white among the verdure, and always returned to the Eternal City, as it lay spread out before her, at the feet of the Pincio.

Irene had travelled much and seen much, but no town had yet produced so deep an impression on her. She tried in vain to define this power that Rome wielded over her, and, finding no explanation, she invented one of her own: “Who knows,” thought Irene dreamily, “perhaps people never really quite die, but remain for ever hovering in spirit round those places where they have most forcibly lived and suffered. It may be that Rome is full of the ghosts of ancient Romans, of early Christians, of Renaissance painters, of nineteenth-century Italians, who died nobly in the struggle for Italy’s freedom and unity. All these phantoms are unable to tear themselves away from their beloved Eternal City. They are the rulers of Rome to-day, as much as in their own time, and we, foreigners, fall under their influence and cannot dissociate our thoughts from them.”

On the whole, the influence of Rome was not only overwhelming—it was also soothing. Wandering in museums, among ruins, through churches and catacombs, Irene felt, day by day, stealing into her soul a profound, indescribable sense of peace, such as that which unconsciously comes over one as one enters a convent. And it was just for this holy stillness and peace that her tired soul was thirsting.

Let not the reader think, however, that my heroine had passed through the storm of some great misfortune, or the suffering of some severe illness. On the contrary, her life and circumstances were such, that many a short-sighted and superficial observer envied her exceedingly.

At the death of her parents, Irene had remained entirely free, with plenty of money, a good name, and a good position in society. She enjoyed excellent health, in spite of the fact that she had been born and had passed all her life in Petrograd; she was clever and well educated. What more, one asks oneself, could anyone desire of the Fates?

But, somehow, it is an unfortunate fact in dear Russia, that even the most precious gifts of the gods seem never to be of any benefit to our people. How is one to explain this curious circumstance? Does it arise from some peculiarity in the Russian temperament, or from the general disorder and purposelessness of our way of living? The French, in the similar case of “La Belle au Bois Dormant,” have laid all the blame at the door of the wicked fairy who was offended at not being invited to the christening. I think I shall not go far wrong if I say that in Russia the part of the wicked fairy is played by the parents of the infant themselves. Oh, of course not intentionally, but simply as a consequence of our Russian laziness and the absence of organized and formulated ideas in the bringing up of our children.

Irene Mstinskaia lost her mother early and was brought up by her father, a scientist who spent all his life in his laboratory, disliked society, and received nobody but an occasional friend, as jealously devoted to science as himself. He adored his little Irene, petted and spoiled her; but, like most Russian parents, took very little interest in her spiritual development. The child grew up, lonely, silent, pensive. Books took, in her young life, the place of companions and childish games. She read a great deal without guidance or discrimination, and gained all her ideas on life, all her faith, all her ideals and aims and aspirations from books. Books stood between her and reality, and hid from her those deep truths that can never be learnt from even the greatest literary production, but can only be understood after long years of untiring observation and experience. It was in books also that Irene found her ideal of the man she could love. Her hero was an exceedingly complicated character. He united in himself the stoicism of an ancient Roman, the romanticism of a mediæval knight, the gallantry of a powdered marquis, and the dignified chivalry of the hero of an English novel.

Do not laugh, reader! Irene was not stupid; she was only young and inexperienced, knew little or nothing of life, and sincerely believed in her fantastic dream hero. Most pathetic of all was the fact that she set about looking for him among the relations and friends of her late mother, who had belonged by birth to the higher government circles—i.e., the most unromantic circles of Russian society. The proximity of the court, the glitter of wealth and social position, transforms almost every young Petrograd official into a mere hunter after honours, money, decorations, caring for nothing but his career and the chance of some brilliant appointment. The distance that separates Petrograd from the rest of Russia destroys in these young people what should be the fundamental idea at the root of all conscientious government service—the good of the country. Their service becomes simply a ladder by which they can mount upwards towards the making of a career, and any means seems justifiable to attain this end. Already in childhood these young people are familiar with conversations about promotions and honours, and their souls early imbibe the poison that makes worldlings and cynics. Their wives also cannot influence them for good, since they, too, in the majority of cases grow up in the same official circles, and see nothing blameworthy in career-hunting. On the contrary, they intrigue and help and encourage their husbands in the rush for advantageous appointments.

To a fresh young soul, such as Irene’s the cynicism of “officialdom’s” conversations and ideals could not but stand out in all its true ugliness, causing her to turn away, sick with disillusionment and disgust. She regarded this whole spirit of self-advancement-at-any-price with the profoundest contempt, and considered it low and vulgar and worthy only of menials. Her father, holding his noble birth in high honour, had instilled into his daughter the assurance that her aristocratic antecedents placed her on a level with all the de Rohans and de Montmorencys in the world. She regarded decorations and titles and social honours with contempt, and could not understand how anybody could attach importance to such toys. Her means were sufficient to ensure lifelong freedom from care; luxury, however, did not attract her, for Irene was an idealist, who looked upon love, pure, sanctified love, as the greatest happiness life could offer.

Had she been English or American, this lonely girl would not have been content with her limited circle of acquaintances, and would have gone in search of her hero through the length and breadth not only of Russia, but of all Europe.

Irene, however, was Russian, and therefore placid and unenterprising! So she not only did not travel, but had not the energy, even at home in Petrograd, to look round and make sure that her hero was not concealed somewhere in the social circles of the capital. She profoundly despised the pitiful types she met in society, and though sick at heart, waited patiently and untiringly for the one man before whom she was destined some day to bow her head. Her own individual faith was largely responsible for this patient, confident expectation. Already in her early childhood, Irene had worked out for herself her own personal credo, in the place of which, without understanding it in the least, most people unthinkingly accept the religion officially adopted by the State. Her faith, of course, rested upon a Christian basis—but her Christianity was of the kind that shapes itself according to the varying idiosyncrasies of every individual believer’s soul and mind.

Irene firmly believed that in spite of the perpetual struggle between good and evil, good is incomparably the stronger of the two, and must always triumph. Therefore, people desirous of attaining happiness, must as a first step be just and honourable, and never offend nor hurt anyone. Then, and then only, can God send them peace and success in all their undertakings, and then only can they be happy without the smallest struggle or effort to attain this natural happiness. Irene believed in this so firmly and deeply, that it always amazed her to see people winning success and worldly goods by means of intrigue and dishonesty.

“The madmen!”—she thought to herself—“how can they not realize that they are building up their well-being on sand, and that each dishonest action may turn out to be the one rotten beam through which the whole edifice will fall to pieces?”

Irene often endeavoured to explain her theory to other people, and was always astonished at their lack of trust in God’s help, and their incomparably greater faith in their own “smartness” and roguery. How did these blind mules manage not to see what was, to her, clear as day? And Irene profoundly regretted that she was not endowed with oratorical gifts, by means of which she might have helped to save these people from needlessly wasting and misdirecting their energies.

The silent, dreamy girl carefully observed the lives of her acquaintances, and every time that any of them achieved some success, or suffered some misfortune, she tried to account for this circumstance by one or other of their preceding actions. I am afraid that in her eagerness to prove, even to herself, the justice of her theory, she often deceived herself, and dragged in irrelevant facts. She was sincerely happy at the sight of virtue rewarded, and, though naturally anything but cruel or revengeful, she nevertheless rejoiced triumphantly when wickedness was laid low! It is true that occasionally, under the influence of scientific books, which, as the years passed, held an ever-increasing attraction for Irene, she said to herself that people were wicked owing to the particular construction of their skulls or spinal cords, and were as innocent of their own vice as the tiger is innocent of his carnivorous nature. In the same way, it followed that it was not only natural and easy for good people to be good, but that it would be exceedingly difficult for them to act dishonestly, or in any way contrary to their natures. There was, indeed, according to this theory, no such thing as the eternal struggle between good and evil—there were only on the one side healthy and therefore honest natures, and on the other, morally diseased and, therefore, cruel or vicious ones. But when Irene began to meditate on these ideas, there arose in her poor head such a confused chaos of tangled thoughts, that she hastily banished all scientific propositions, and returned to her old faith, in which everything was clear and simple.

Irene worked carefully and untiringly at herself and her own moral and mental development. She not only did not admit of any dishonourable action, but severely admonished and persecuted herself for every bad thought, every shade of feeling, that tended towards envy or revenge. And so, as always happens when one works long and obstinately for the achievement of a certain result, Irene really succeeded in raising her own honour and integrity to a point beyond reproach. The loftier grew her own ideal, however, the more difficult she found it to reconcile herself to the weaknesses of others. Day by day, her requirements in connection with her unknown hero increased, and day by day he became always more difficult to find. She submitted every man who crossed her path to so severe an examination that not one passed through it successfully. The young married women of her acquaintance, noticing how wistfully she looked at their children, advised her to marry, even without love, only to become a mother and thus attain the one real aim, the one true happiness that life can give to a woman. Irene listened to their advice with amazement. According to her ideas, a woman had no right to bring a new life into the world unless she had found a man who could pass on to the child only the highest and most irreproachable moral qualities. Such an idea is, of course, fundamentally good and logical—but, unfortunately, it is also somewhat difficult to carry out! Nature is so fantastic and capricious, that sometimes a child may bear no likeness whatever to its ideal parents, but may bear a striking and very unwelcome resemblance to some long-forgotten black sheep great-grandfather! On the whole, indeed, resignation, and faith in God’s mercy, are the most suitable frames of mind in this connection; but these are frames of mind that one could hardly expect from Irene! Idealists who passionately believe in their ideals, hypnotize themselves and become the slaves of their own thoughts.

At thirty, in order to avoid any future moral torment at the appearance of a grey hair or a decayed tooth, Irene decided that she was an old woman, and that there was no longer any occasion to think about love. She began to dress always in black, and assumed with men the air of an old maiden aunt. Her dream now was only of friendship, and she longed for the warmth of a friendly hearth.

Her women friends, however, did not believe in her sincerity, did not consider her as old as she imagined herself to be, and were afraid for their husbands. Year by year, Irene felt herself to be always increasingly lonely and isolated, and then, suddenly, came the Japanese War.

Everything became cold and indifferent to her in her homeland. She no longer believed in anybody; she trusted neither the masses nor the educated classes. They were all cowards, they were all narrow, lazy, and ignorant. She began to go abroad more frequently. There, in contrast, everything pleased her immensely. She admired the German peasants for their love of work, the Swiss for their orderliness, the French for their wit. In old days, after having passed three months abroad, she had always grown homesick, and on reaching the Russian frontier, had felt inclined to embrace the very railway porters for their good-humoured Slavonic faces! Now, she returned home with regret, found fault with Russian arrangements, and looked with disgust at the endless, monotonous fields, at the dull, slumbering type of life and nature that slipped placidly along outside the windows of the sleepy train.

Her contempt for Russia was encouraged by the countless critical and scathing articles that appeared in the newspapers as a result of the newly granted freedom of the Press. According to these articles all Russia’s resources had been used up by drink and by robbery, and the whole country was in a state of ruin and primitive savagery. They did not attempt to explain why, all this being so, Russia had not, long ago, died of starvation and famine, why our government stock stood higher than before the war, and why Europe set as much value as ever on Russian opinion. But Irene, like most women, did not measure the rights and wrongs of the newspaper accusations. They were in tune with her pessimistic mood, and she no longer believed in Russia, just as she no longer believed in her own happiness.

The most cruel pain of all, however, was that occasioned by a gradually awakening doubt about the justice of her own beliefs. It seemed to her that, logically, it was time God rewarded her in some way for her scrupulous honesty, and she suffered at the absence of this reward. In observing the lives of others, Irene could persuade herself that if they had no outward success, they enjoyed the greater blessing of inner peace and happiness. It was difficult, however, to deceive her own self in this matter; for, indeed, poor Irene not only had no happiness, but the boon of inner peace had not even been granted to her. Her soul had been wounded, torn, immersed in darkness and despair, from which there seemed no escape. And yet there, before her very eyes, wicked and dishonourable people triumphed and rejoiced. How was this to be explained? Could her credo have been a mistake, could she have been struggling and wandering all her life along the wrong path? Such an admission would have been, for Irene, equal to suicide—for she could never have reconciled herself to a world in which only wickedness and deceit triumph.

Life in Russia grew at last so unbearable that she decided to emigrate. Her first idea was to go and live in England, with which country she was acquainted through the medium of her beloved English novels. By chance, however, Zola’s “Rome,” with its magnificent descriptions of Roman life, fell into her hands, and she suddenly felt drawn towards Italy. It is for this reason that we find her, on this warm autumn day, sitting in the garden of the Monte Pincio.

II

Irene’s first impression on arriving in Rome was one of disappointment. Her imagination was impregnated with visions of the Roman Forum, of proud Romans in togas, of fighting gladiators, of the splendour of the Emperors and the dazzling luxury of the papal court. What wonder, then, if she almost resented the many-storied houses, the shops, the tramways, and the prosaic crowd in its ugly, contemporary attire?

Her disappointment, however, was only transitory, and in spite of her depressed and gloomy state of mind, the magic charm of Rome soon won the day over her low spirits. It is always, indeed, difficult for a northerner to resist the sparkling and effervescent sense of gaiety which awakens in his heart under the rays of the southern sun.

At first, only the mediæval portion of the town absorbed and attracted Irene. She spent days in wandering through labyrinths of narrow, dirty, unpaved streets, where people, horses, donkeys, tramways, and bicycles moved along, an apparently inextricable mass, in the uneven roadway. She felt sad and sick at heart at sight of the miserable dwellings—rather hovels than houses—in which, till the present day, the poor of Rome find shelter. What a contrast between these wretched abodes and the magnificence of the neighbouring Palazzos, with their splendid courtyards and marble colonnades enclosing little gardens overgrown with palms and orange-trees! Even the luxury of the Palazzos, however, depressed Irene. Her mind wandered back to the Middle Ages, and it seemed to her that she had found the key to all the cruelty and injustice of those dark, bygone days. How could kindness and honour and mercy flourish in such gloomy palaces, in such dismal narrow alleys where God’s sunlight never penetrated? No wonder, indeed, if humanity, having at last thrown off the mediæval régime, hastened, immediately after the French Revolution, to escape from these labyrinths of dark and crooked alleys, and invented a new type of towns, whose streets were broad and flooded with sunshine.

The only bright spots that relieved, to Irene, the gloom of mediæval Rome, were the Piazzas, with their gorgeous fountains. Here was the best place for observing the Roman crowd, a crowd always interesting and characteristic, even though robbed, in these days, of its picturesque national costume.

There is a woman, hatless and coatless, in spite of the cold winter’s day, sitting by the fountain with a child in her arms, drawing water and finishing her bambino’s toilet in the open air. Opposite her, on the doorstep of someone’s house, a young carpenter is resting, having left the new table he was carrying to a customer in the middle of the road, in everyone’s way. The slight frown on his pink, dirty face distinctly says: “Gone are the good old times! Where are the bandits that used to hide among the ruins of the Campagna, and receive with open arms fellows like me, who love a gay, careless life, and have no mission for hard work?”

His brothers in spirit, healthy, happy, lazy, young scamps, are loitering about the Piazza, with boxes of cheap mosaic trinkets, smiling caressingly at passing Englishwomen, and saucily offering them their goods: “Des mosaïques, madame? Très jolies et pas chères!” There is a passing vetturino (cabman) raising his finger, and gazing fixedly at the forestiere (foreigner), implying with look and gesture an obliging readiness to drive him to the end of the earth. Leaning against a column, there stands the plague of contemporary Rome: a middle-aged guide, with the face of a benevolent old father who has had no luck in life. He is muffled up in a brightly coloured scarf, and with a massive walking-stick in his hand, he lingers beside a historical monument and awaits his victim, the next unsuspecting and simple passing tourist. He stares gloomily at a crowd of shrieking street urchins, who have just emerged from a neighbouring alley. They are supposed to be selling newspapers, but actually they are eternally fighting, rolling in the dust, throwing about and soiling the newly printed journals. They are dispersed and driven away with a stick by a tall, bent old man, picturesquely draped in an enormous grey cloth cloak with a fur collar. This garment the old man has dragged as a remembrance from the shoulders of a late faithful lodger, recently deceased at an extreme old age. The inconsolable landlord is going to a festa, one of those solemn Masses, with a Cardinal officiating, which are celebrated almost every day in one or other of Rome’s innumerable churches. Behind his indescribably dirty ear, that has never been washed since his birth, he has tucked a red carnation, as a sign of respect to the saint whose memory he is going to honour.

Suddenly, a group of wandering musicians show themselves on the Piazza. One plays the violin, another blows a trumpet, while a third, in a broken top-hat and a rusty overcoat, sings canzonettas, and dances. Immediately, a crowd collects. At all the open windows appear signoras with black eyes and raven tresses, pushing away with their hands the rags hung out to dry. They are all laughing and screaming and chattering, they are all happy. This is still the same pleasure-loving ancient-Roman crowd, living more in the street than at home, and revelling in anything in the nature of a pageant. Arrange a gladiator’s fight to-morrow in the Colosseum, and they will all rush to the spot, and applaud the victor as passionately as ever did their ancestors.

Sometimes these Piazzas are the scenes of antiquarian markets. Light wooden booths are erected for the sale of old cassocks and other priestly vestments, pieces of material, embroideries, lace, old brooches, bracelets, fans, candlesticks in the shape of antique lamps, books printed on faded yellow parchment, pictures, and statuettes. All this is bought up fast and feverishly by Englishwomen and Americans, whom the wily Romans deceive in the most ungodly manner.

On one such occasion, Irene, to her cost, asked the price of a piece of lace. The vendor, having asked a hundred lire, followed her twice round the Piazza, lowering his price at each step, and setting out in detail all the tragic circumstances that were forcing him to part with such a treasure. He had received the lace as a present from the Marquise Abrakadabra-Abrakadabrini. This highly aristocratic name was undoubtedly familiar to the signora? His “mamma” had been the wet-nurse of the young Marchesina, so that he, Beppo, was her foster-brother. He had hoped to mend his fortunes for life by selling this priceless lace, but poverty (he spoke with great pathos, tragically smiting his chest)—poverty, signora, was obliging him to act hurriedly, and to abandon his last hope. At least, he had the one consolation of knowing that this family treasure was falling into the hands of such a sympathetic signora—“Look out!” he screamed suddenly, clutching hold of the shafts of a cab that threatened to run them over. He was only too happy to have been able to render the signora two services: first, that of saving her life, since, but for his intervention, the vetturino would undoubtedly have run over her; and second, that of selling her, for a song, a priceless piece of lace, in which the signora would look as beautiful as a queen.

When he had dropped his price from a hundred lire to twenty, Irene, only too anxious to be rid of her irksome follower, paid him, and hurried away with her purchase, for which she had not only lost all interest, but which she by that time positively detested. On her return home, she showed it to the landlord of her pension. He shook his head pityingly, twirled his finger in front of his nose, smacked his lips, and announced that “la pauvre signorina a été volée comme dans un bois.”

Irene began to think that old, mediæval Rome had bewitched her. On many occasions, she started out with the intention of visiting some museum or picture gallery, but always it was as if some magic power was drawing her towards those dingy streets, with their stench and their dirt, and their smell of cookery, where the poor of Rome were preparing their unceremonious dinners out-of-doors. Perhaps, indeed, she may have felt that there was something in common between those gloomy localities and her own joyless life.

She was greatly attracted by one grim-looking palace, situated at a particularly dingy, dirty spot, in the neighbourhood of the Ghetto. A terrible deed had once been perpetrated in this palace. Its owner, that famous Cenci, so noted for his depravity, had fallen in love with Beatrice, the daughter of his first marriage, and persecuted her with his shameful desires. The whole family rose against the mad old villain, and, under the influence of her brothers and her step-mother, Beatrice poisoned her father. The crime was discovered, Beatrice was imprisoned, made a full confession, and was executed.

Having heard by chance that a famous portrait of Beatrice Cenci, the work of Guido Reni, is preserved at the Palazzo Barberini, Irene went to see it. She expected to see a queenly, tragic beauty, and found, instead, a simple girl, almost a child, in the very springtime of life—an innocent young soul to whom love and passion can as yet have had no meaning. The artist has represented her in prison, dressed in the white prisoners’ attire. Her little face is worn and drawn through sleepless nights, her beautiful eyes are red with tears, her little childish lips are swollen, just as all children’s lips are swollen when they cry. The whole touching little face seemed to say quite clearly: “Yes—I am a criminal! Everyone tells me that I must pay for my crime with my life; that I must leave the lovely world that I love so much, leave the sunshine and the birds and the flowers, and go away into a cold tomb. What can I do? I have no strength to protest! But you, who will live instead of me, do not curse poor Beatrice! Love her! Pity her!”

Irene’s eyes filled with tears as she looked at this martyred child, and she hid her face under her veil to hide her emotion. Other visitors to the Palazzo Barberini were also weeping and trying to conceal their tears.

“You are revenged, little Beatrice!” thought Irene. “Thousands are weeping at your sad fate, and are cursing your tyrants.”

Irene soon became known in her pension as the tourist who had been living in Rome for three months and had not seen the Forum. All the Englishwomen in the house, deeply shocked at this omission, persuaded, implored, and at last forcibly dragged her there. From that moment, the charms of the mediæval city vanished for her, and she lost herself entirely in the antique world.

The weather was warm and sunny. The colossal walls of ruined ancient palaces and shrines, that must surely have been built for giants, stood out in relief against the blue sky. The silence was intense, the Roman season had not yet begun. Unknown crowds of English travellers had not yet descended from the Swiss mountains, nor sailed across the waters from Egypt. Irene felt quite at home among the ruins. She wandered for days among the ruins of the Forum and the Palatine, trying to imagine the life of the past, when the sun shone down not on the crumbling stones before her but on a world of glistening marble and pagan luxury; when the immense sculptured gods, sheltered at present in the galleries of the Vatican, rose on their pedestals high above the heads of the gorgeous crowd with its classic draperies and its garlands of flowers, worshipping, offering sacrifices, burning incense. What a beautiful, gay, triumphant picture! Why did it all end? What could have driven these people away from their beloved green hills, down to the unhealthy banks of the Tiber and those dirty, dark alleys? And why are people now in their turn moving away from these alleys and returning to the hills and the sunshine, and a new, healthier life?

For the first time the thought occurred to Irene that the world, like each individual human being, must gradually pass through all the different periods of life. First, the early years, with their faltering steps and their uncertain memory. Then, at about five years old, the beginning of gay, happy, early childhood, white raiment, crowns and garlands and flowers, dance and song and laughter and summer-time. Dolls are indispensable at this age—modelled of clay, hewn out of stone, carved in wood, at first very primitive and clumsy like those of the Egyptians, then always more and more lifelike, and finally perfected by the Greeks. And like a child who, having made itself a rag doll, takes it seriously and endows it with all sorts of qualities, so the Greeks and Romans place the gods they have made on pedestals, and call them Jupiter the terrible, Venus the passionate, Amor the little rogue, Minerva the wise, etc.

They dance around their gods with the careless gaiety of childhood; they love gorgeous processions, banquets, chariot-racing, and gladiators’ fights for life or death, upon which they look with laughter, since pity is to them, as to all children, a thing unknown.

But time passes, and the child grows older. New ideas and requirements awaken in him; games and gaiety lose their interest. He grows pensive, pale, and thin, and he feels the need of suffering and tears. Irene remembered how, at the age of seven, she had suddenly experienced a great desire to fast during all the seven weeks of Lent. Pale, fragile child as she had been, such privation had weakened her terribly; but incredible as it may seem, with a strength gleaned Heaven knows from where, she had actually held out to the end! She remembered also certain religious pilgrimages in the small provincial town, near which she had sometimes passed the summer with her father. Many a time in the torrid heat of a sultry July day had she walked for four or five hours through clouds of dust, along a rough, uneven road, in a procession behind an ikon, returning home half dead with fatigue, but unable to sleep, through sheer religious exaltation. Her thoughts, too, wandered back to the neighbouring convent, whither she had often gone to pray, and where, having attended vespers, she had sometimes stood through the whole night in prayer, soaring on the wings of a religious ecstasy, and feeling no fatigue. Her young soul had needed these raptures, fasts, and prayers. It had needed also the food of legends, and the more wonderful, the more supernatural these legends the dearer had they grown to her imagination. Her mind had acknowledged no logic, and had needed none.

Did not the same thing happen to the world in the Middle Ages, that period of Humanity’s later childhood? Christianity, or rather its rites and ceremonies (since its real meaning was unattainable to these children), was accepted with enthusiasm, because these rites and ceremonies exactly answered the requirements of the age: ecstasy, martyrdom, torture rapturously borne, naïve and lovely legends. Humanity would have no more of dolls and toys, and wrathfully destroyed the statues of the gods. Later on, in more recent times, those same people tenderly and lovingly collected the broken fragments of the statues and preserved them in their museums as cherished remembrances of childhood. It is thus that a grown-up man will pay a large sum for a broken doll, or for a faded coloured print that amused him in his early days.

Just as modelling is the heritage of babyhood, so painting is the delight of childhood. First come naïve little drawings, like the work of the Primitives, in which the figures of saints of high religious rank are made twice as large as those of their inferiors, or like the pictures of Perugino and his school, in which the infant Christ is depicted wearing a coral ornament similar to those put round the necks of Italian children to save them from the evil eye!

Day by day, art develops and grows more perfect, reaching its apotheosis almost simultaneously in all the countries of Europe. Yet in all their magnificence and perfection, something naïve and childlike remains even in the works of the great masters. They draw pictures from the life of Christ, for instance, with background and accessories of the Middle Ages. They represent some Pope in all his Catholic vestments and with his papal tiara kneeling humbly before the Virgin, with the Child in her arms. They are not in the least disturbed by the thought that if a Roman Pope exists at all, it is only because this Christ Child grew up, and because His Apostles founded the Church. Their childish mind does not occupy itself with such contradictions, and Michael Angelo gives to the world his famous Pièta, a magnificent marble group, in which the Virgin Mother is younger than her Son.

The defenceless child, unable to revenge himself on his tyrants and tormentors, loves to console himself with dreams of how the Divine Power—God and His angels, the Archangel Michael with a sword in his hand—will descend from heaven to help him. The wicked will be burnt in hell, and he, the offended and insulted one, will receive his reward in Paradise. Had he not this dream and this consolation, life would indeed be too heavy a burden.

But the child grows up, and reaches adolescence. He stands on the threshold of life, and the school-bench is left behind him. School has taught him but little—a few facts and some elementary information. But he has learnt to reason logically, and to examine the solid foundations on which the world rests. He begins to apply his logic to everything, and when he approaches religion, doubt trembles in his soul. The absurd improbability of the legends of the Middle Ages disgusts him, and at the same time he is obsessed by the fear of remaining without a religion, a fear which has been inculcated into his mind by his entire upbringing. Calm and cold-blooded people think it all out, and become confirmed Atheists. Not so, however, those others with fervent, burning souls! Poor Tolstoy, in the wrath of his old age, destroys and insults the very elements on which he has founded and formed his life, and, having insulted them, goes to church as before, prays humbly among beggars, throws himself into a monastery, and dies of despair on the highway.

How many such martyrs are there in our days! With tears and sobs they fall on their knees, stretch forth their hands to Heaven, and cry from the depths of their souls: “God! show me some miracle that I may again believe in Thee! It is only through Thy wonders and miracles worked in the early days of Christianity that people turned to Thee and believed. Why were these early Christians dearer to Thee than I? I love thee; it is hard for me to tear myself away from Thee! A miracle, a miracle, I beseech Thee! I will then believe anything, even what is against all reason and logic—only come to my help I implore Thee! Give me a sign or a miracle!”

But there are no more miracles, and death and despair enter like iron into the soul of the sufferer.

III

Like most Roman pensions, that in which Irene was staying was teeming with old maids of all nationalities. There must be some mysterious wind that blows them from all corners of the earth to the Eternal City. They go there in the hope of finding peace and spiritual rest, and their hope is almost always justified. What wonder indeed? For Rome is not a town; it is a picturesque cemetery, glorified by a golden sunset. On active, life-loving people it produces a gloomy impression; but to those who let life slip past them this cemetery is dear and precious. In other towns these lifeless people feel strange and out of place; the storm and stress, the feverish rush of life in a modern city shocks and angers them. In Rome one cannot think either of the present or the future. One’s thoughts linger in the past, and one is interested only in those who have long ago crumbled into dust in their graves.

Irene did not like old maids. She saw in these “brides of Christ” something incomplete, something eternally expectant. She avoided their society, and associated preferably with married women, calling herself jokingly an “old bachelor,” an appellation that struck her as less disagreeable than the more usual one, which she refused to admit.

However, having unavoidably come into contact with most of her fellow visitors at the pension, she discovered that the maiden ladies of Rome were unlike their sisters elsewhere. They had peculiarly bright, gay, sometimes even radiant faces. Irene also noticed that between four and five o’clock in the afternoon some of them daily began to show signs of agitation. They blushed, made attempts at personal elegance, smartened up their modest black dresses by the addition of a lace collar or a bunch of fresh violets, solicitously saw to the arrangements of their little tea-tables, and constantly threw impatient glances at the door. The anxiously expected guests always turned out to be severe and majestic Catholic priests, before whom the ladies were tremulously shy. Irene assumed that the latter were probably newly converted Catholics, and her supposition was confirmed by a charming middle-aged English lady of an impoverished but famous old family, to whom Irene felt greatly drawn. Lady Muriel related that she had, the previous year, during a stay with relations in Ireland, made the acquaintance of a Catholic priest, “a most remarkable man,” and that now she was happy to say she had been converted to the Catholic faith.

“I had thought,” she murmured, “that life was over for me, but now I see that it is only just beginning, and that happiness is before me. The Catholic faith is so warm, so tender, so consoling!”

After this, Irene observed the Fathers and their spiritual daughters with redoubled interest. She was particularly attracted to an old French Dominican, called Père Etienne. His mother had been an Italian, and he had inherited from her the Roman type. “The face of a proud patrician,” thought Irene to herself. Like all Romans, Père Etienne was severe and forbidding, but when he laughed, which happened often, and always unexpectedly, his face became astonishingly kind and sympathetic, and almost childlike.

Lady Muriel introduced him to Irene, and from her very first conversation with him Irene felt such a sympathy for Père Etienne, that, to her own astonishment, she poured out to him the whole story of her life, with all its doubts and fears and disappointments. The priest listened attentively, but evidently with disapproval, and when, in answer, he laughed a little at her faith—not the orthodox faith, of course, but her own personal ideas—Irene felt like a silly little girl who has received a scolding.

“You have invented this faith yourself,” he said. “It has nothing in common with Christianity. You Russians are all revolutionaries. Your priests do not teach you the principal thing, the love and fear of God and of His divine wisdom and might. Your attitude towards God is quite unceremonious. You make conditions and contracts with Him as if He were a simple mortal. You have not advanced far beyond the ideas of your fellow-countrymen the Samoyedes, who first make sacrifices to their wooden gods and then beat them if they do not grant their prayers. When you Russians think you are passing from Orthodoxy to Catholicism, you are actually passing from paganism to Christianity.”

“And where did you get the notion,” he asked on another occasion, “that Christ promised His followers happiness in this life? On the contrary, Christ said repeatedly, ‘My kingdom is not of this world.’ And, indeed, how could He reign here, among the pitiful creatures who people this earth, worms that strive only for empty, worldly pleasures, and cannot raise their eyes to the stars? Were He to appear anew among them, with His mild humility and saintliness, would the vulgar mind understand Him? No; our present-day Christians would laugh Him to scorn, and though they would not, perhaps, lead Him to Golgotha, they would certainly turn away with a mocking smile. The kingdom of Christ is indeed beyond the grave, in another and more perfect world, to be attained only by purified souls who, already during their lifetime, have renounced earthly joys, and, by means of meditation, fasting, and prayer, have conquered the body, and their lower natures. Great joy and happiness awaits them in Heaven, and it is thither, my daughter, that your hopes must be directed. It is in the Kingdom of the Future that you must expect justice, and not in this vain world, from which but few will succeed in saving their souls.”

The priest spoke with enthusiasm. His face shone with the light of inspiration. It was as though his eyes already saw the bliss of Christ’s kingdom and those Heavenly joys of which he was so firmly convinced.

His words made a great impression on Irene. Until that time, she had never thought much about the future life. “Why trouble oneself,” her common sense had argued, “about something that no one has ever seen? What must be, will be, and premature curiosity is useless.”

Now, however, hearing these burning words of Père Etienne, she involuntarily thought to herself: “Is it possible that he really believes what he says?” And at the same time, she felt that the inspired enthusiasm of the kind old priest was beginning to influence her. Like most people of our day, Irene was interested in hypnotism, and it had not infrequently, in moments of despair, occurred to her to apply for help to some famous hypnotist. She had been restrained only through fear of the consequences that might accrue from putting herself under the power of a perfect stranger. Supposing, having cured her of her gloomy state of mind, he should turn her into a criminal, and make her steal or murder?

Now, however, looking into the noble face of the old priest, Irene understood and felt that he could lead her along the right path. Oh! if he could succeed in giving her back her former faith! He had convinced other poor girls. And what happiness shone from their pale faces!

Irene caught at Père Etienne as a drowning man at a straw. It is thus that a man suffering from an incurable disease flies to some quack or self-styled magician, gazes excitedly at mysterious herbs, and is already half assured that in them, and only in them, lies salvation. As for Père Etienne, the kind-hearted old man enthusiastically and zealously threw himself into the work of saving Irene’s soul, and arranging her life.

“You are deeply mistaken,” he assured her, “when you think that you have lost time uselessly, and have lived your life in vain. On the contrary, you have achieved much. You have passed through all your troubles with a pure heart. You have not made compromises with your conscience. You have looked on sadly while goodness and justice suffered, and sin was loaded with honours; but the idea has never occurred to you—as it does, alas! to many—that if sin is so successful, why not join its followers? You have resisted the temptation of such a thought. Your soul was dearer to you than the glitter of worldly success. You struggled with wicked thoughts, and emerged victoriously from the struggle. This is a great happiness, my daughter. Thank God for giving you a strong will and a pure heart. It is a sign that you are one of His chosen ones. But you must not stop half-way. Throw off that spirit of despair! Forget all earthly cares! Draw yourself apart from the world and its ways, and consecrate yourself to God. It is necessary for you, without losing more time, to enter a convent.”

“A convent?” exclaimed Irene.

“Yes, a convent. You need silence and rest. With your nature, life will always perturb and dismay you. You do not understand that the triumph of the wicked is temporary, and that they are all on the eve of their undoing. You are unable to realize this. It is necessary for you to cut yourself off once and for all from every contact with them, to withdraw yourself into silence, and to occupy yourself with prayer and the reading of sacred books. You are proud to call yourself a Christian, but do you intimately know the Holy Writ? Have you often in your life read the Gospel? Be sincere—confess!”

Irene was obliged to confess, with a blush, that she had never once read it through in its entirety, and had contented herself with what religious instruction she had received at school, and with the extracts from the Gospel that she had heard read out at church.

“There! That’s just it. I had foreseen that,” exclaimed the priest. “And yet it is only on reading and studying the Gospel that many things become clear. Read it, and a divine peace will steal into your heart. This great Holy Book will take, for you, the place of all others. Day by day, your former despair will be replaced by hope, and your soul will be filled with joy and rapture. You have suffered agonies of doubt, and you well know how unbearable they are. Now you stand on the threshold of that incomparable bliss that only true faith can give. Et Dieu viendra causer avec vous, ma fille. Vous serez une de ses élues, et Il vous honorera de Sa Parole. Remember the elect in the Bible, who were found worthy of intercourse with God, but who nevertheless remained human.”

“But how can I?” said Irene reflectively “Leave the world? Leave all human ties and associations for ever? But that is terrible!”

“What has that world, what have those human ties given you? Can you call to mind a single hour, a single moment of real happiness, even the shadow of happiness?”

Irene had to admit the absence even of that shadow.

“There! You see it yourself. You are afraid of a convent; but, do you know? you have been a nun for a long time.”

Irene opened her eyes wide.

“Yes; it is so. Look round at your own life. You live virtuously, you hardly associate with men at all. Balls and theatres have long ceased to interest you. You dress in dark colours, and you yourself told me only recently that you eat very little meat, but prefer living mostly on vegetable diets. You have no specially near and dear relations, and feel a contempt even for your country. What, then, can attach you to the world?”

“Really—I don’t know. Liberty, independence⸺”

“Yes; but in a convent, also, you will retain the liberty to think, to read, to enjoy and love nature—and your requirements do not go beyond this. If, for instance, you were in love, and were dreaming of someone, this would be a great obstacle to convent life, and I should, in such a case, be the first to dissuade you from it. But I believe such is not the case?”

And Père Etienne gazed scrutinizingly into her face.

“Oh! you can set your heart at rest about that,” laughed Irene. “Men never played a great part in my life, and lately I have left off paying any attention to them at all. Besides, I really don’t think I have any temperament.”

“Perhaps you may be greatly mistaken!” The exclamation fell from the lips of Père Etienne accidentally. He was evidently provoked at his own careless words, and hastened to add that he had little acquaintance with Northern natures.

“But,” he continued, “if man’s love does not attract you, that is evidently a special grace of God, and it shows His particular mercy to you. Now is the time to flee to a convent, while yet no human influence can disturb your peace. A late love would be a great misfortune for you. To be happy in the married state, one must enter it in early youth, before the character of the girl is completely formed. Only on these conditions does the young wife submit to all the requirements of married life, and grow gradually accustomed to them. She understands the character of her husband, adjusts herself to it, and so finds her happiness. You, having passed all your youth on coldly polite terms with men, have estranged yourself too much from them. You know nothing about their characters, and neither they nor you could ever give happiness, one to the other. There would only be mutual misunderstanding and great suffering. Pray that this cup may be for ever removed from you.”

“Oh! I assure you, the question does not interest me in the least. Absence of faith troubles me infinitely more. How can I enter a convent, when I do not, perhaps, believe what is most important of all?”

Père Etienne smiled indulgently.

“Faith,” he answered, “like everything else in the world, is not given to us all at once, but only after long and patient effort. Carry out your monastic duties, go to church and pray at the given times, read sacred books, and, little by little, faith will penetrate into your heart.”

“But, allow me! How is this? Do you advise me to pray at first mechanically, almost without believing?” asked Irene incredulously. “But that would be hypocrisy, a mockery of religion!”

“Do not children begin by praying mechanically? This does not prevent their praying consciously and sincerely later on. It will be so with you also. Do not let this dismay you.”

Père Etienne did not hurry her to decide; but the thought of taking the veil had sown its seed in Irene’s heart.

“Yes,” she thought. “Père Etienne is right. After a certain age, it is best for unmarried women to bury themselves in convents. In the world, everything only irritates and tortures their souls: little children, with their adorable little faces, happy lovers, gazing tenderly into each other’s eyes, passionate music singing of love, all this happy, earthly life, in which they have no place. In a convent, on the other hand, far from worldly books, papers, news, rumours, their nerves are gradually quieted, and a regular life and untroubled sleep cures their tortured souls.”

A little earlier, the idea of being converted to the Roman faith would have frightened Irene; but, having lived a few months in Rome, she had grown to love the Catholic church and clergy. From the first days of her arrival, she had been interested in the students of the various theological colleges and seminaries, whom, in their picturesque costumes, some scarlet, some mauve, some black with coloured belts, one meets in Rome at every step. Irene loved to observe their intelligent faces, and their attentive, scrutinizing glances.

It seemed strange to her, at first, to see these future priests on the Pincio at the fashionable hour, contemplating elegant ladies in splendid carriages, or to meet them at teas and dinners in the fashionable hotels. But, on thinking this over, she came to the conclusion that this, to her, new and unaccustomed Catholic system of educating the priesthood was perfectly rational. In order to wield an influence over the great social world, it is indispensable to know its thoughts and ideals, and to share its manners, its bringing up, and its education.

In their free time the students see Rome, visit museums and picture-galleries, learn to distinguish one school of art from another, and to decipher the inscriptions and hieroglyphics on ancient sarcophagi. The theological colleges belong to various countries, and among the students—Englishmen, Germans, Frenchmen and Poles—are many people of good society, and sons of famous aristocratic families.

Irene reflected with some bitterness that only in Russia is the guardianship of religion left in the hands of grasping peasants. The very name of a seminarist is connected, in Russia, with the idea of coarseness. The education, the mental development of the priesthood is on the lowest level, and social life is entirely unknown to them. A youth who has barely finished his course at the seminary, is hurriedly ordained, and rushed off to some village in the depths of the country, where the sheep of his fold, rough, wild peasants, teach their young pastor to drink. Should he have the luck to be sent to a large town, his knowledge of life and of social ways and customs is so small that he can do no good whatever to his parishioners. On the contrary, he irritates them by clumsy tactlessness when hearing confessions, by wild sermons, and an unceremonious attitude towards the holiest things. He turns his church into a shop, where he sells ikons, candles, calendars, and countless other trifles, from which he tries to make as good an income as he can. Sick at heart, Irene remembered how priests at home, while holding out the cross to be kissed by worshippers before leaving church, continued mumbling a special service they were supposed to be celebrating after Mass in honour of some saint, standing the while with their backs to the ikon of the said saint, and hardly troubling to give the responses to the co-officiating deacon. She remembered also a scene witnessed at a service before a miracle-working ikon, in a provincial monastery, where the drunken priest and the equally drunken deacon had quarrelled and abused each other in the intervals between the prayers. Unhappily, indeed, such and similar occasions were none too rare, and they rankled in Irene’s mind, wounding her heart and shaking the foundations of her respect for Orthodoxy. Just before her departure from Russia, she had happened to be present at a little improvised religious meeting arranged at the house of a friend for a small group of schoolgirls of the higher social circles. They all arrived looking very excited and inspired, and their little youthful faces wore serious and attentive expressions. How much holiness and goodness could at such a moment have been sown in those innocent young souls by an enlightened pastor! And how did the Russian priest, invited to speak to these children, use the occasion? The serious, solemn old veteran mounted the platform and spoke for a whole hour about the advisability of eating during Lent, only the particular kind of butter prescribed for such periods, and the sinfulness of eating the ordinary kind!

Irene had watched the faces of the listening girls, and had seen reflected on them surprise, uncertainty, and at last flushes of indignation. They had come for a piece of bread, and had been given a stone.

Nothing of this kind was to be seen in Roman churches. The priests officiated with reverence at the altars, assisted by their little acolytes, while the rôle of the deacon and the sub-deacons and the choir was carried out by the congregation itself. Seated on chairs, with prayer-books in their hands, the people followed the service, gave the responses, and sang the prayers. Sermons were preached by gifted and eloquent preachers, usually in the evening, quite apart from any service, and these sermons always drew large and eager crowds of listeners.

In Russia, Irene had gained the impression that the Catholic Church was nothing so much as dry and scholastic, stifling all individual thought, and destroying all culture. In Rome, this erroneous idea was soon dissipated, and she realized that Catholicism had, on the contrary, through all the centuries of its existence, faithfully served the cause of progress. The Roman Popes had all been connoisseurs of art. They had surrounded themselves with great painters and sculptors, had given them orders, and had encouraged them in every possible way. They had collected and religiously preserved old books and manuscripts, had organized extensive excavations and researches, and had decorated the halls of the Vatican and the Lateran with the antique statues they had discovered.

Catholic schools and colleges had educated numbers of highly talented people. Even that famous negator of Christianity, Renan, was also a pupil of one of these institutions. The Catholic system of education does not stifle the intelligence—on the contrary, it gives freedom and encouragement to the youthful imagination. Until now, in spite of every kind of persecution, monks and nuns are looked upon in Western Europe as the best and most capable educators of the young. They put their whole souls into their work, and receive in return the love and respect of their pupils.

Irene thought of her own spiritual isolation, her loneliness and despair, during the old days at home in Petrograd. She had had nowhere to go, no one to whom to apply for comfort and advice, and each and everyone of her acquaintances had been as lonely and spiritually friendless as herself. In Russia, she had considered the accepted cold relations between the faithful and their spiritual fathers as perfectly natural; now, she had seen and appreciated the value of very different conditions.

Père Etienne was an old man, and suffered severely from asthma, so that to reach Irene’s room on the second floor was no small matter, and left him out of breath for some time after his arrival there. In spite of this, however, he considered it his duty to go and see her every day, to comfort her, to dissipate her doubts, and to renew her courage. It was her soul that was precious to him, and he exerted all his powers to save this soul, and to lead it into the right channel.

All this astonished Irene. She had seen in her father’s house how learned men, almost all, as a rule ended by being Atheists and by regarding all religions as childish sentimentalities.

How could these Catholic priests with their extensive education and intellectuality believe in naïve Christian legends? She had imagined that the Catholic Church had long ago abandoned these legends, but that having in its cleverness realized what centuries are needed for the transforming of an old religion into a new one, had allowed them to remain unrefuted, and to continue answering, as they did most satisfactorily, the spiritual necessities of millions of people. There are, of course, naturally virtuous souls who will always remain honest and true, and will always hate sin, to whatever religious opinions or negations they may adhere. But are there many such? The majority of the human race is still so uncultured that religion is the only means of keeping them more or less on the right path—religion, the fear of hell, and the hope of heaven! And so, thought Irene, the Catholic Church had decided, for the time being, to pretend to believe everything; and, for the happiness of the people, for the sake of law and order and culture, to resign not a single legend, nor a single dogma. And Irene, with all her heart, justified and applauded this magnificent deception!

She had a great wish to see the Pope, and one day mentioned this desire to Père Etienne. To her astonishment, however, he answered coldly that this would be too great an honour for her, and that he was not yet sufficiently convinced of the sincerity of her faith to consider such an honour justifiable.

“But,” murmured Irene timidly, “I am surely not asking for anything so extraordinary? His Holiness receives hundreds of Englishwomen and Americans every week.”

“Yes!” exclaimed the old man indignantly, “and this is indeed a great abuse. These foreigners manage to get received, through sheer curiosity, and in order to be able to say to their friends at home: ‘We have been to Rome, and we have seen both the Pope and an aristocratic Italian fox-hunt. Both were very interesting.’ Don’t you see that for us—for true believers—this is an insufferable insult?”

Irene felt confused and embarrassed. When, however, a short time later some friends offered her a ticket for one of the great papal functions, she could not resist the temptation, and, saying nothing to Père Etienne, accepted, and decided to go to the Vatican.

IV

Excited anticipation kept Irene awake during the whole night previous to the great occasion. She rose with the dawn, and laid ready her black dress and black lace veil, the traditional costume of all pilgrims received by the Pope.

The ceremony was to take place at eleven o’clock, but at ten Irene drove up to the Vatican, hoping to be one of the first to arrive. Alas! an extended line of carriages had already long been blocking the way to the Portone di Bronzo, and, advancing slowly one by one, setting down ladies in black lace and gentlemen in dress clothes. Like Irene, they had all counted on arriving first, and all contemplated, with undisguised astonishment, the dense crowd slowly making its way up the stairs. The predominating impression among this crowd was far less one of religious emotion than of excited curiosity. There were many Americans and Germans, who had come to see a rare sight, in order to boast about it later on in their own countries. The eyes of these tourists sparkled with delight as they gazed at the papal guards, who, in their mediæval costumes and their peculiar hats, looked as if they had just stepped out of pictures, as indeed did also the papal lackeys, in cherry-coloured brocade, with silk stockings and buckled shoes.

Irene loved the Vatican. This mediæval fortress, with its numberless houses, towers, courtyards, cemeteries, and gardens appealed strongly to her imagination. She loved, perhaps most of all, the splendid halls with their frescoes and their beautiful antique statues. This, she thought, was true luxury, in comparison with which the luxury of modern palaces, with their commonplace silk-panelled walls and their carpets and pictures, grew pale and seemed almost vulgar. In the magnificent halls of the Vatican the walls and ceilings were covered with frescoes by Raphael and Michael Angelo, and the ornaments consisted of antique porphyry sarcophagi, ancient mosaics, such as have never been equalled in more modern times, and colossal marble vases and fonts, excavated from ancient baths and shrines. Modern art has been able to add nothing to all these priceless treasures.

And now Irene was gazing with rapture at the frescoed walls of the immense Sala Clementina, into which, little by little, the extraordinarily mixed assemblage, whose like one can hardly meet anywhere, was making its way. There were foreigners shivering in furs; aristocratic Roman ladies in elegant black dresses, long white gloves, and family pearls; prelates; cardinals; nuns in white starched headdresses; Capucins in sandals, and with ropes round their waists; little girls in white dresses and lace veils, with curls framing their flushed, excited faces; officers of the papal guard; dominicans in white cloth cassocks; attachés of the various foreign embassies in gold embroidered uniforms—all this formed one heterogeneous, palpitating mass of humanity. The variety of the crowd pleased and interested Irene. It struck her that all this was just as it should be in the Palace of the Roman Pontiff, the only sovereign who acknowledged neither rank nor position nor class distinctions, and who did not surround himself with a Chinese wall, guarded by a handful of privileged people, in no way more deserving than their fellows. “It is in most countries these privileged classes,” thought Irene, “who by energetically pushing to a safe distance from the precincts of the throne all who really work for the good of their country, always manage artificially to create enemies for their King.” The Pope believed in a very different policy. He was accessible to everybody, without distinction of nationality, faith, or social position, and he was ready to receive and to bless everyone alike. Perhaps, indeed, it may be owing to this wise policy that no attempt has ever been made on his life, in spite of the fact that the Vatican employs neither spies nor secret guards. Such a Court, thought Irene, should have existed under Constantine the Great or Louis IX.

The ceremony of presenting consecrated candles to the Pope (dei ceri benedetti) was to take place in the neighbouring Sala del Trono. At one end of this lofty, narrow, frescoed hall stood, under a baldaquin, the golden throne of the Pope; at the other end, a great crucifix supported by an angel. On either side of the central passage, kept clear by the Swiss guards, were long benches, on which were already seated various pilgrims, all trying to get as near as possible to the throne. The best places had already long been taken by clergy of all nationalities, with enormous opera-glasses and firm intentions to miss not the smallest detail of the interesting spectacle. Subdued excitement reigned supreme in the half-darkened hall, with its drawn red blinds and its sparse, electric lights. There was a hushed murmur of low-toned conversation—everyone spoke in a whisper, except, of course, the Americans, who exchanged silly little remarks and impressions in unceremonious, strident tones. A Frenchman, with a small pointed beard was, in a loud voice, relating to someone something about an inn in Naples, where one could get excellent wine and macaroni. With the impudence of a dull-minded Atheist, he smacked his lips over various details, keenly enjoying the paradox contained in the mere fact of discussing such things at the Vatican.

Here and there in the crowd, however, could also be seen the rapturous faces of youthful priests and young girls. Full of religious exaltation, trembling with emotion, they kept their shining eyes fixed on the door before which stood the papal guards.

At last there was a wave of movement. The crowd rose, made as though it would fall on its knees, but thought better of the intention, and remained standing. Surrounded by his Court, His Holiness, in white raiment and a little white cap, passed to the throne, and, throwing a quick glance over the assemblage, took his place.

Along the central passage, between the benches, a procession of priests advanced, two and two, holding in their hands long painted tapers, covered with funny little fringed extinguishers. They approached the throne, handed the tapers to attendants, fell on their knees, and kissed the Pope’s ring. On the beautiful face of the Pontiff shone a radiant smile. He said a few words to each one, sometimes whispered in their ears, and often laughed. This was not the face of a mighty sovereign, but only that of a good, kind old man, who had long ago learnt that all sorrows, all dreams, all hopes, are soon over, and that life is short, and does not contain anything specially good or attractive. He was deeply sorry for all those expectant pilgrims, exciting themselves about nothing at all, awaiting Heaven knows what, and needlessly tiring themselves out; and all he could do was to help them with a kind word, a warm glance, and with the love that illumined his beautiful features. It seemed to Irene that, for the first time in centuries, a truly Christian pastor reigned in Rome, and one who in spirit resembled the first Christian apostles, the builders of the Church. What a striking contrast between this Pope and his surrounding Court! They, too, were all smiling at the pilgrims; but what hypocrisy, what falseness and flattery, breathed in those smiles! Their crafty faces were cold and indifferent. For them, this ceremony was only one of the countless comedies in which they had constantly to play parts. Two of these papal courtiers, both still young and handsome, were obviously posing before the aristocratic Roman ladies, among whom they probably had admiring friends.

The ceremony lasted a long time. The tapers, in the hands of the priests, moved along in endless procession. Everyone was tired and hot, all faces were flushed. The courtiers around the throne left off smiling, and made no attempt to hide their fatigue. Only the Pope alone smiled as warmly and caressingly as before upon each man who knelt before him. For him, this was no ceremony, this was a human service, which he rendered joyfully.

At last, the final tapers were presented. His Holiness rose, blessed the bowing crowd, and left the hall. There was a general rush for the door. Close to Irene, a young French girl was heatedly disputing some point with her mother.

“Mais, il t’a donné sa bénédiction, ma chère,” persuaded the mother. “He has blessed us all. What more do you want?”

But the girl was not consoled, and only looked sadly at the door, behind which the Pope had disappeared.

Irene understood: she, too, felt sad at the thought that she would never again see that beautiful Christian smile.

V

The same evening, Irene announced to Père Etienne that all her doubts were at an end, and that she had decided to take the Veil. She would now only ask him to find her a suitable convent.

“There are many orders of nuns in Rome,” answered the Father, reflectively, “each with a particular aim and purpose. There are sisters who nurse the sick, and others who educate children. It seems to me that the order most suited in your case is that of the Sœurs Mauves. They lead very secluded lives, pray a great deal, and keep watch, night and day, over the Holy Sacrament. You can see them every day at Vespers in their Church of Santa Petronilla in the Via Gallia.”

Trembling with emotion, Irene turned her steps towards this convent, half afraid of her own first impression. When she entered, the church was almost empty. A few stray old men and old women were dreaming on chairs, waiting for the service. Like most modern Roman churches, Santa Petronilla was ablaze with gilding and profusely decorated with pictures. On either side, up above, were galleries of quite theatrical appearance, painted mauve and white, the colours of the convent. A transparent, high, carved partition divided the church into two parts: the one nearest the entrance for the public, the other, nearest the altar, for the nuns. At present, all was dark and empty, only one feeble taper was burning on the altar.

Irene took a seat in the first row, quite close to the partition, and prepared to contemplate her future surroundings. It was a long time before the silence was broken by the slow, dull sound of the church bells. The altar was suddenly brightly illuminated, and a procession of nuns appeared through the door. They entered in couples, knelt for a moment, one couple at a time, before the altar, and then slowly, gracefully, with soundless footsteps, made their way to their places. They were dressed in white robes with long trains, and wide mauve borders. White veils hid their faces, and fell at the back in graceful folds over their trains. These veils were so thick, that it was impossible to distinguish the ages of their wearers. With soft white hands, the nuns clasped the golden crosses on their breasts, as they slowly sank into their places, threw back their veils, and, directing their gaze to the altar, remained immovable in the most graceful of poses. Somewhere in the distance an organ began to play, and an invisible choir sang a prayer, or, rather, a beautiful Italian operatic air.

Something long forgotten stirred restlessly in Irene’s heart. “But these are my vestal virgins!” she thought, with a thrill of emotion—those beloved vestal virgins that had always so deeply appealed to her imagination, and whose disappearance she had so often regretted. It seemed to her that no reforms and no amount of progress could ever give back to women the high position occupied in ancient Rome by the handmaidens of the goddess Vesta. Everyone had bowed before them; with a movement of the hand they had the power to pardon prisoners condemned to death; they were present at all ceremonies, games, and performances, and formed the principal ornament of the Courts of the Roman Emperors. And here, suddenly, Irene had found them again, less mighty and less dazzling, perhaps, but more mysterious instead, and more poetical.

The service continued, and the church gradually filled with people: elegant ladies, dirty workmen, little old men and little old women, even small children brought there by religious nurses. They all joined in the hymns, and sang with the nuns. There was something strange and touching in the mingling of all those hoarse, old, untrained voices with the soft music of the choir, descending, like the song of angels, from the mauve gallery. Many of the worshippers were weeping bitterly, on their knees. From time to time the singing stopped, and one of the nuns, opening a prayer-book, read a prayer, in a soft, melodious voice. Irene watched her future companions with great emotion. They seemed so dignified, so refined, so completely comme il faut; life among them, indeed, promised to be charming. Nothing in their habits and manners could ever jar on her or shock her. She remembered, with a shudder, the Russian nuns who wander from village to village, collecting money for the building of churches, lifting their dirty dresses high, and showing their equally dirty, red, rough, thick peasant legs.

The service came to an end. Slowly, gracefully, the white dignified figures of the Sœurs Mauves floated away and disappeared. In their places appeared several fat, active little nuns, in short black robes, with enormous mauve bows and little white veils. They extinguished the candles, running from one candlestick to another, never forgetting their reverend genuflexion when passing the altar.

“Serving-women,” thought Irene, and the thought pleased her that she would not, even in the convent, cease to be a lady accustomed to the services of a maid. For a moment she was ashamed of the thought, but immediately justified herself: “Of course all idea of dirty work is impossible in those long snowy robes, those white slippers, and floating, shimmering veils!”

It was a still, warm evening, and the stars were beginning to show themselves in the dark blue sky when Irene left the church. There was peace in her soul as she breathed in the balmy Southern air. “Thank God!” she said to herself. “At last I have found my vocation. What matter if I do not sufficiently believe? The principal thing is to sing, to read prayers, and to touch the hearts of all those unhappy, suffering people, who come to pray with the nuns, believing in their purity and saintliness.”

Almost all unmarried women of a certain age suffer secret torments from the fact that they have actually no place in society. Irene was no exception to this rule, and she was happy at the thought that now, at last, she might be of some use in the service of humanity. To have a special uniform—an idea always dear to the Russian heart—was also a great attraction. In imagination she tried on the picturesque dress of those modern vestal virgins, making up her mind to be graceful, to float about like a white spirit, to sing, and to read prayers melodiously.

From that day, Irene never missed a single evening service in the Via Gallia. The nuns were inaccessible to outsiders, and no stranger was ever admitted to the convent—an additional fact to play upon Irene’s fancy. The convent stood on a hill. Luxurious palms and fragrant Roman pines leaned over its high garden walls, and Irene saw, in imagination, the small, interior courtyard, with its covered verandah, its slim, carved columns, its murmuring fountain, its Southern foliage and flowers. She pictured to herself the early morning; she heard the measured tones of the melodious convent bells calling the sisters to prayer; then she thought of the evening, of a golden Roman sunset, a purple sky, faint, glistening stars, and the Ave Maria.…

How beautiful, how poetical, seemed her future life, with its prayers, its meditations, its rapturous exaltation, its Gospel-readings, its soft singing, its incense! An enchanted existence in a Southern clime, a sweet, mystical dream, and then—death, followed by a probable awakening to some new and glorious life!

The news of Irene’s decision created a great sensation in her pension. Although nothing was definitely settled between herself and Père Etienne, everyone else knew which order she had chosen, and on which day she was to be received. Some even went so far as to name the dressmaker who was making her convent robes. They all constantly stared at Irene, and pointed her out to their visitors.

One afternoon, she happened to accompany Père Etienne to the hall-door, at the hour when the complicated business of afternoon tea was in progress. Small bamboo tables were scattered about between Chinese screens and immense palms, and at one of these tables, some distance away from the door, sat a good-natured, pleasant little Russian old lady, giving tea to a fellow-countryman, a tall, handsome, energetic, young-looking Russian of about forty, with an occasional grey thread in his thick, dark hair. The old lady, with a whispered remark, pointed Irene out to her visitor. He looked round with some curiosity, and then muttered, with a frown:

“What is this stupid, new fashion? Our women seem unable to look at a Roman priest without renouncing Orthodoxy!”

VI

A magnificent January moonlight night had wrapped the world in its silence. Rome was nestling in the warm, pale blue air; there were fantastic shapes and shadows everywhere; the magic of the darkness had wiped out all contrasts between ruins and modern buildings, and everything alike, churches, houses, streets, seemed unreal and enchanted.

Most beautiful of all, however, was the Colosseum, towards which Irene turned her steps that night. Like all foreigners, she had considered it her duty to see this famous ruin by moonlight, and had on a previous occasion visited it for this purpose, in company with several of the tourists staying at her pension. Their commonplace expressions of delight, however, had entirely spoilt the impression for her, and this time, tempted by the clear moonlight, she decided to go alone, and enjoy the unique beauty of the Colosseum in solitude.

Fate was kind to Irene. The enormous circus was entirely deserted but for the almost invisible shadows of a few distant tourists, and the outline of a tall man standing at the entrance, wrapt in admiration of the grandiose spectacle. Irene had just seated herself on a stone, when suddenly out of the shadows, as though from nowhere, sprang the figure of an old guide, declaiming pathetically, and addressing himself to Irene:

“Voici ce fameux Colisée, ce cirque épatant, où les malheureux chrétiens⸺”

Irene was so annoyed, that she cried out, and even shook her umbrella at him. The guide cut short his eloquence, and turned away grumbling. Irene suddenly felt ashamed. She followed the poor old man and offered him money, but the proud Roman refused. Cursing Irene and all her relations and friends, and expressing the wish that her first-born might be burnt in hell, he withdrew with dignity.

Irene turned round. The tall Russian had been watching the scene with interest. They looked at each other, and both involuntarily laughed.

“What a good thing you drove away that old parrot!” said the stranger. “These guides simply spoil Italy for foreigners. I am sure tourists would willingly pay a tax for their benefit, only to be rid of them, and to be allowed to admire Italy’s treasures in peace. I am always positively wild with rage when they begin to declaim, and to offer me elementary information that we all acquired years ago at school!”

Irene listened sympathetically, and suddenly realized with astonishment that the stranger was addressing her in Russian. How could he have found out that she was Russian!

The speaker noticed her surprise, and smiled.

“I had the pleasure of seeing you in your pension,” he explained, “I went there to see Anna Sergeievna Boutourina.”

“Oh! Do you know Anna Sergeievna? Isn’t she a charming old lady?”

“Very charming. I have known her since my childhood; I used to go and stay with her as a little boy. Allow me to introduce myself: Sergei Gzhatski, Marshal of the Nobility in the province of S⸺.”

They began to speak of S⸺, and discovered mutual acquaintances. But their conversation soon came to a stop. The magic beauty of the night threw its enchantment over them. They mounted the steps of the amphitheatre, sat down on the steps, and remained silent, in admiration of the glorious scene. Pale blue clouds were floating above them, from time to time veiling the moon. The high walls, with their immense openings, stood out like enormous lace patterns against the clear sky. Through the gaps in the blocks of stone peeped cypresses and Roman pines; high on the third floor, alternately appearing and disappearing, shone a moving light, a torch, in the hands of a guide, leading a crowd of English tourists through all the corridors and tiers of the Colosseum. Irene gazed fixedly at this wavering light, and suddenly her thoughts wandered back to ancient times, to the early years of Christianity.

The warm moon shone in those days, just as now, she dreamed; the little clouds floated across the same sky; the cypresses looked in at the same windows. The torches gleamed like this one, only there were many of them, and they moved not through the tiers and balconies, but in the arena, rising and falling, in the hands of Romans clad in togas and tunics. This afternoon the games beloved of Romans had taken place, and many Christians had been thrown to the wild beasts. The festive crowd of onlookers had left the circus, chattering gaily and animatedly, and hurried homeward to merry suppers. The wild beasts, having eaten sumptuously, are now sleeping in their cages. The night has fallen peacefully on Rome, and with the darkness there has appeared in the arena a silent assemblage; the friends and relations of to-day’s martyred Christians. For large sums of money they have bought, from the keepers of the Colosseum, the right to take away the bodies of the victims. Stifling their sobs, silently, like shadows of mourning, they pass from one corpse to another, bending down, searching by the light of their torches for the remains of some dear one. Having found what they sought, they fall, with a dull cry, to the ground, and gaze with horror at the stiffened features. There, beside a torn white tunic, some long black tresses, and two soft, girlish hands, sits an old woman, richly but tastelessly dressed, and with blunt, plebeian features. She is swaying hopelessly from side to side, and, in a pitiful, wailing voice, is telling her sorrow to an old man, who listens sympathetically.

“She was our only one! Our one beloved treasure! Many children were born to us before her, but it was not Jupiter’s will that they should grow up. They were all poor little mites, born thin and puny, and with big heads. They lived for about two years, tottered round the yard on their poor, weak little legs, and then died. Lydia was the last. At her birth she was so thin and fragile that we never hoped she would grow up. Besides, I was already turned forty, and my old man was getting on for sixty; what sort of children can one expect to have at that time of life! But, somehow, the gods took pity on our lonely old age. Lydia began to improve and get strong. Ye gods! How we loved her and caressed her and spoiled her! Her father simply worshipped her, and strictly forbade me ever to punish her. For that matter there was never any reason to punish her, she was quiet and thoughtful, and always alone in a corner, away from other children. Even when nearly grown up, she never wanted girl friends. ‘I want no one but you,’ she would say, embracing us lovingly. She always sat at home, and could not be induced to join in any gaieties. She had only one passion—the Vestal Virgins. Often and often she went to gaze at them and admire them, weeping bitter tears because she was not one of them, and carrying flowers to the shrine of the goddess Vesta. We greatly feared, my old man and I, that she would never consent to marry. We longed to see our grand-children, and besides, we wanted an heir to carry on the business. My old man is the best jeweller in Rome. All the great people give us orders, and our things are highly valued. My husband found a suitable son-in-law, also in the jeweller’s business—but we did not dare to tell Lydia. She was so proud, and would never look at men. And oh! how beautiful she was! Pale, like marble, with her thin little face, her large, grey eyes, and her heavy dark tresses. All the young men were in love with her, but she would have nothing to say to any of them. Then, all of a sudden, those accursed Jews appeared. They used to live quietly on the other side of the Tiber, until one day when they all seemed to have become possessed. Over they came, swarms of them, telling some story of a new God of theirs, born somewhere in Palestine, and asking everyone to believe in Him. Dirty, miserable wretches, disgusting in their filthy rags, gesticulating, excited, really quite absurd. Beggars, you know, but with the pretensions of Emperors. Of course, old people only laughed at them. As if anyone would dream of changing his religion in his old age! But the young people began to be interested, and to go to the Jews’ meetings. Those miserable wretches spoke so passionately—just as if they really had seen a great new God! Lydia went once too, and came home all of a tremble with emotion. At first we were pleased, because her passion for the Vestal Virgins seemed to have cooled. But our joy was short-lived. She began to disappear for days and nights at a time, always praying with her Jews, and calling herself a Christian. My old man and I grew alarmed, and then, suddenly, began the persecution of Christians. At first we, of course, thought that only those good-for-nothing Jews would be persecuted, and we were very pleased, because we hated them. But the news spread that there was an order to catch all other Christians too. We lived in terror, expecting trouble every day. We did all we could to keep Lydia at home, but there, she would not even listen to us. ‘We pray together,’ was all she said, ‘and we will die together.’ One day, a month ago, she went to a secret meeting, and never returned. We learned that she was in prison, we bribed the gaolers, and managed to see her. She was in a feverish state of rapture and exultation. ‘Be happy for me,’ she said; ‘I shall see Christ, and be with Him for ever.’ With bitter tears, we implored her to renounce this madness. Her old father and I, we fell on our knees before her—nothing helped! It was not only once that we went to her, nor twice, nor three times. What a fortune we spent on bribes! Though that, indeed, matters little. What do we want with riches now that we have no one to whom to leave them? One day, about a fortnight ago, we went to her. She was pale and faint, and in tears. She took us into a corner, away from the other prisoners, threw them furtive, frightened glances, and whispered: ‘We are condemned to death. They are going to throw us to the wild beasts in the circus. It is terrible—oh! it is terrible!’ She was shivering and sobbing. ‘I cannot sleep at night—I always see a tiger, falling on me and tearing me to pieces. Save me! Save me! I will agree to anything now! But don’t tell the others, or they will despise me and laugh at me.’ In wild haste we rushed off to our best client, the Senator Claudius Massimus. All day we sat in his atrium, waiting to be received. At last, in the evening, the Senator comes to us, hears us, and answers: ‘Very well, my good old people, I will do what I can for you. Let your daughter only make a sacrifice to the gods, and publicly curse her past folly.’ Hardly feeling our feet under us for joy and thankfulness, we rushed with our news to Lydia. But oh! misery! misery! In the meantime their chief priest had been to the prison, the wicked, accursed old villain! I don’t know what he told them, but Lydia came out to us, beaming with happiness. ‘I no longer need anything,’ she said, embracing us. ‘Thank you for your solicitude on my behalf, but however great your love may be for me, you cannot give me the joys that are prepared for me in Heaven.’ We implored her, besought her all in vain. Lydia only laughed, and kissed us. We staggered home, and the same night my old man had a paralytic stroke. From that moment I have not been able to leave him. To-day we have been together in silence, without moving from dawn till sunset. Do you know, do you understand, you merciless, pitiless daughter, all that we have suffered? Had you the right to buy for yourself eternal salvation at such a price? Oh! wicked, cruel, beloved one! When the sun had set, my old man gave me money, and said: ‘Go and bring me all they have left us of Lydia.’ So I have come, and have found her tattered tunic, and her scalp and hair, and her lovely hands, with the bracelets her father put on them when she was fifteen. Oh, ye gods, ye gods! Is it for this that we have brought her up and watched over her, and cared for her, that she should be a fairer sacrifice for the accursed Jews? Talk of mercy and love, and then take away from anguished parents their only joy, the light and mainstay of their old age! May they be accursed and thrice accursed, these demented, perverted villains, these murderers of our children!” And the old woman fell forward with a cry, on the tresses of the hapless Lydia.

Not far away from her sat a proud young beauty, in a luxurious gold-embroidered tunic, her eyes fixed on the head of a young handsome Roman. Large, slow teardrops followed each other down her face, but she did not notice them nor attempt to brush them away. She only threw herself, at intervals, on the bleeding corpse, embraced it with her soft arms, and passionately kissed the cold lips and the golden moustache.

“What have you done? What have you done? My adored, cruel husband! How could you leave me, forget my love, forget our happiness together? Were we all, your relations, your friends, your nearest and dearest, of so little import to you, that you could abandon us for the sake of a mad dream? How could you, a clever, well-bred noble Roman, fall under the influence of low, filthy slaves? They are all frantic about some wild idea, some frenzied vision, and you—you could believe them, and share their madness!

“Oh! What shall I do with my life without you? You took me, a young, careless, innocent child, you taught me the happiness of love, and now you have pitilessly abandoned me! I pass whole days and nights in the remembrance of your caresses, I stretch out my hands, I grope for you in the dark, and I shall never find you again! Oh! How terrible, how incredible is this thought. Thousands, millions of people are born every day, but never again will the world see your like!

“Who is it that has dared, that has taken on himself the right to destroy that most splendid work of nature—man? You tried to console me with the assurance that your soul would live for ever; but of what use is your soul to me? I love your body, your eyes, your features. When I meet, in the street, someone who but slightly resembles you, I blush, and the blood rushes to my heart. Your irresistible smile, your charming laugh, maddened me with happiness! And now—all is over. You will never smile again, you will never look at me with your beloved blue eyes. To-morrow worms will begin to eat this flesh that is dearer to me than all else on earth, and I am powerless to prevent this outrage. Oh, ye gods! How have I sinned, that I should have deserved to suffer so madly?

“Rather than this, why were you not untrue to me—why did you not go away, and love another? Terrible as this would have been, I should at least have known that you lived, that my eyes could look upon you. Secretly, in the darkness of the night, I could have come to gaze upon you, and this would have given me life.

“Oh! Why do we not know the future? Why does fate give us no warning? How much time I lost in idle gossiping with girl friends, in needless outings and amusements, while I might have spent this time in talking with you, in gazing at you, in enjoying your caresses!

“The moon will appear in the sky, the nightingales will sing, but you will not hear them. The sun will rise, but its rays will not penetrate into your cold tomb. Life at best is but short, and now you yourself, of your own free will, have deprived yourself prematurely of its joys.

“Oh! This terrible, meaningless life! I am cold, I shiver, I cannot live in the world without you! All is pale, all is dark and tarnished around me. Nothing interests me, nothing pleases me. Alone! Alone! From now onwards, alone on this accursed earth.”

And the unhappy one repeatedly kissed the dead body, passionately embraced it, beating her head upon the sand.

Irene clearly heard the groans, curses, and cries that re-echoed in the ancient circus. Tears fell from her eyes. She forgot where she was, and started when Gzhatski, having also for some time kept his eyes fixed on the arena, broke the silence by a sudden remark.

“May I ask you an indiscreet question?” he asked, turning sharply round, and facing his companion. “Is it really true that you have decided to be a traitor to your faith, and become a Roman Catholic?”

“Why a traitor?” retorted Irene, a little angrily. “Orthodox Russians and Catholics believe alike in the Gospel, and that is the principal thing. As to dogmas, they were all invented by the perverted intelligence of crafty Byzantian Greeks, who did not understand the Gospel in the least, and dragged it down to their own level by eternal quibbling about words. Already, in my childhood, I studied with disgust the history of the Œcumenical Councils, and found nothing intelligent in them, except the decision of the seventh one, that there should be no more. Evidently all the theologians had become so entangled in their own disputes that they had grown desperate, and had at last realized that the more they talk the further they get from the truth.”

“But if you despise dogmas, and believe only in the Gospel, then why need you give up Orthodoxy?”

“I am leaving Orthodoxy because, among the Catholic clergy, I have found a man who is a true believer, who guides me, and helps me to unravel my own doubts, and to see the true meaning of life.”

“In other words, like so many Russian ladies, you have fallen into the hands of a clever Jesuit.”

“In other words, like so many Russian men, you have gathered your information about Jesuits in the novel ‘The Eternal Jew.’”

“I have never read that novel. I only see very clearly that your dear Pater wants money for some convent, and therefore wants to shut you up in it.”

“Not in the least. Père Etienne thinks that I shall be happier in a convent than in the world. He has no objection to an Orthodox convent. He only told me, a few days ago, that he always speaks of Catholic ones, because he knows nothing about Russian convent life.”

“But why, then, do you not go into some Russian convent?”

“Because I know them too well. A Russian convent is a collection of vulgar, chattering, idle, lower-class women. The convent itself is a vulgar absurdity, since it is neither directed nor controlled by anybody. And, indeed, who is to control it? Not the officials of the Synod, I suppose?”

“Yes, but is not all that true also of Roman Catholic convents?”

“No. Every Catholic convent has not only its own head, but also higher control and direction. The discipline is quite different. Every Italian convent has one definite aim and object: to give its inmates the possibility of saving their souls in peace and silence, and everything is done for the attainment of this object.”

“Well, even if we admit that this is true—by what right do you turn your back on all that life imposes on you, and think of nobody and nothing but the saving of your own soul?”

“By what right!” exclaimed Irene in amazement. “What a strange question!”

“Allow me. The Gospel, which you apparently respect, teaches us that we are all brothers, that we must help each other and live for each other. Whom will you help, whom will you save, if you hide yourself in a convent and think of nothing but your own soul?”

“Had I taken the veil when I was twenty, there might perhaps have been some reason in your reproaches. But I am now forty. I have lived through a long life, and have convinced myself that I can be of no use to my fellows. My views on life are so personal to me that no one will ever understand me. I have always suffered through the vulgarity and roughness of other people, and as time passes I despise mankind more and more. In separating myself from human companionship, I may, little by little, forget what people are like, and so may perhaps learn to love them a little.”

“Is it possible that among all your friends and acquaintances, you have never met one man who might be worthy of your attention or your love?”

Irene smiled bitterly.

“Russian men have not reached the period of development at which they could understand good women. They are still in the harem period, and they need only rough, vulgar, immoral females.”

“I see you can make nice compliments. But if you have such a poor opinion of our higher circles, what about the masses? What about our honest, simple-minded, warm-hearted, noble-souled people? Is it possible that they awaken no sympathy in you, that you have never felt the wish to help them, to educate them?”

“Don’t speak to me of those pitiful cowards!” exclaimed Irene contemptuously. “They are incapable of anything better than losing the war, and disgracing Russia in the eyes of the whole world.”

“I see you hold somewhat original views. Hundreds and thousands of soldiers have become hopeless cripples for the rest of their lives, in order to keep the enemy from our Russian soil, and in order to ensure for idle people like you the secure and safe enjoyment of their leisure and their capital. And in return you travel in strange lands, and insult our modest heroes. Allow me to congratulate you—such sentiments unquestionably do you honour.”

Irene blushed, but maintained a scornful silence. Several minutes passed. The English party, with its guide and torches, drew near. Gzhatski rose, bowed dryly to Irene, and joined the tourists.

VII

They separated, both with the feeling of having said a great deal that was needless. On the whole, however, Irene was almost pleased that she had succeeded, for once in her life, in expressing to a Russian man the profound contempt that he and all his like awakened in her. As often happens in such cases, her indignation had poured itself out on the wrong person. Sergei Gzhatski had nothing whatever in common with Irene’s despised and hated Petrograd career-hunters. His life indeed had arranged itself in its own fashion. He was born in Petrograd, but having, at the age of three, been taken to the far-off province of S⸺, he had remained there until his eighteenth year. His mother had suffered a paralytic stroke after the birth of her second child, and had therefore been ordered to live in the country, which she did until her death. Deeply hurt by the fact that her husband had been unwilling to sacrifice to her illness his brilliant position in Petrograd, she had turned away from him, and lavished all her love upon her child. By her desire little Sergei had been educated at home, first by governesses and later by tutors. His mother wielded an immense influence over him. She was clever, intuitive, sensitive, and religious, and she brought up her son in a way that is more than rare in Petrograd families, where parents are too occupied with the distractions of the Metropolis to pay much attention to their children. Sergei adored his invalid mother, and her illness filled his heart with profound pity. He never indeed forgave his father for being so indifferent to her, and felt but little love or sympathy for the latter. On the death of his mother, Sergei was sent to college, where, thanks to an excellent grounding, he worked splendidly. He did not, however, like Petrograd, and having finished his course, he decided, in spite of his father’s advice and persuasion to the contrary, to return to the S⸺ estate, which his mother had left him. He loved country life, managed his estate well, and greatly increased the prosperity of his farms and crops. He occupied himself also with social activities, and was first chosen Marshal of the Nobility of the district, and then of the whole province. He was greatly loved and respected, being a man of the old school, honourable and conscientious, and as full of consideration for the interests of all the noble families in the neighbourhood as for his own well-being and prosperity.

His dream was a happy hearth and home and a large family, and yet he never married. Perhaps the reason of this might have been found in the pure and sacred image of his mother, with which he unconsciously compared all other women to their detriment; also a little in the fact that he was inclined to be proud and suspicious. He rarely went to Petrograd, and the provincial young ladies whom he met in S⸺ were far too frankly in ecstasies before his wealth and brilliant position. Gzhatski was never happy abroad, and now deeply regretted that, after an attack of inflammation of the lungs caught during an autumn hunt, his doctors had persuaded him to pass the rest of the winter in Italy.

In spite of the mutual impertinences they had exchanged at their first meeting, Irene had not displeased Gzhatski, and, seeing her a few days later on the Corso, he approached her with a friendly greeting. Irene was so touched by this absence of rancour, that, wishing to destroy the unpleasant impression of their previous conversation, she invited him to come and see her. Two days later Gzhatski availed himself of her invitation, and, in the good old provincial Russian fashion, stayed three hours! He told Irene all about his estate and about the other S⸺ landowners, and expressed his horror at the indecent haste with which many of them, frightened by the recent “revolution,” had sold their ancestral estates and moved to Petrograd.

“I say nothing,” he remarked, “of the fact that their children will be penniless, since they will very quickly lose their newly acquired money in all sorts of doubtful speculations; our landowners are proverbially credulous and unbusinesslike! But the principal trouble is that these ruined children will, in addition, have lost the ties which bound them to our soil—and it is my firm belief that one can only be a true patriot if one has lived from childhood on one’s own land and among one’s own people, and has stored in one’s heart all the charming recollections and associations of an early youth spent in one’s ancestral country home. Even now, when after a long absence I approach my little station, my heart beats, and I recognize with joy, almost with tenderness, the station officials, my coachman, my troika.[1] It is all near and dear to me; the woods, the fields, the peasants who greet me smilingly, and who have known and loved me all my life. How much that is sacred breathes in memories of childhood, and how sad life must be when they are absent! I think, for instance, that if you, Irene Pavlovna, had in your heart the remembrance of some modest little village church where you prayed as a child, you would never have dreamt of betraying the faith of your childhood; you would never even have formulated your vague, cosmopolitan belief in Christ, a belief that certainly cannot give you happiness.”

From that day they became friends. Irene enjoyed the society of Gzhatski, who was always gay, interesting, and sincere. However dear Italy had grown to her, however deeply she respected Père Etienne, it was delightful to talk to a Russian, a man of her own race, her own social circle, and her own education and traditions. She never suspected that she, on her side, represented for Gzhatski a sort of anchor of salvation.

Poor Gzhatski had been unbearably lonely in Rome. Active, energetic, busy as he had always been, the enforced idleness of this new existence was insufferable to him. The Roman museums and monuments did not touch his heart. He had not enough imagination to people them with shadows of the past, as did Irene. He tried to study Rome with a Baedeker’s guide-book in his hand, but soon abandoned the task, and came to the conclusion that all the churches and ruins and galleries were exactly alike.

“When you have seen one, you have seen them all,” he remarked frankly to his acquaintances.

Gzhatski had begun to take an interest in Italian fox-hunting, but happened the very first time he joined a hunt to be caught in a downpour of rain, and developed such a severe chill that his alarmed doctor forbade him any future expeditions of the kind, on pain of death from galloping consumption!

Every day the poor man wandered about sadly and aimlessly, finding fault with everything, hating everything, and abusing the strange Southern town that held him prisoner! Everything irritated him, even the climate, with its eternally warm, balmy breezes, even the dry Southern vegetation. Often, when sitting in the gardens of the Villa Borghese, he shut his eyes, and pictured to himself a Russian winter, the snow on the fields gleaming under the blue sky, the red sun, the little waves of smoke rising from a cottage chimney, the crunch of footsteps on the frozen ground, the frosty, invigorating air…! And then he opened his eyes, and looked resentfully at the broad Roman pines and the dusty grass and shrubs.

“What is this extraordinary time of the year?” grumbled Gzhatski capriciously. “It is not autumn, because there are no yellow leaves; it is not winter, because it is not cold; it is not summer, because it is not hot; and it is not spring, because there is nothing vivifying or rejuvenating in the air. No—this is a sort of fifth season, Roman, stupid, and senseless!”

He watched the passing crowd with animosity. They all seemed to him to be dressed in their Sunday best! There go two young Italian brunettes, in fashionable tight skirts, with wide fur scarves on their shoulders, showing, under their short dresses, dainty feet, shod as for a ball in elegant open shoes over open-work silk stockings. Here is a baby being taken for a walk, in a little white piqué summer coat, a hat to match, and a huge collar of white goat-fur! And behind comes something quite wild—two little boys and a girl in sailor suits, without coats, and with bare legs and necks—yet the little girl carries an enormous muff, and the boys have sealskin caps!

“I suppose they have heard that people wear furs in the winter, but they don’t know exactly how, so they have made guys of themselves!” muttered Gzhatski crossly.

His loneliness was even greater than his despair. He had already decided to risk his health and return to Russia, when his meeting with Irene turned his thoughts into another channel. He had no difficulty in assuring himself that she was the victim of Jesuit priests, that the poor girl was being wickedly deceived, and that it was his duty as a compatriot to come to her aid and save her. With all the accumulated energy of all those idle weeks, he threw himself into the struggle with Père Etienne, and in spite of Irene’s wish to bring her two friends together, Gzhatski curtly refused to make the acquaintance of the “Catholic rogue.” He was very annoyed to see how obstinately Irene defended her friendship with the priest, and used all his eloquence to disillusion her on the subject of convent life.

“And what is the meaning of that insufferable manner,” he cried irritably, “in which all priests make a prisoner of Christ, and announce to the world that He can only be found in their churches? They lie! I don’t deny that in the early days of Christianity, monasteries and convents really represented Christian oases in a pagan desert. But that time has long since passed. Christ has long ago left the monasteries, and dwells among us, in our science, our literature, our law. We may quarrel as much as we please, we may accuse each other of treachery, but in spite of everything, we are all going along the path of Christian progress. Every time we liberate slaves in America or serfs in Russia, every time we abolish torture or corporal punishment, we are proclaiming liberty and brotherhood, we are serving Christ, and Christ is among us. Let them say, if they will, that the foundations of Christianity are shaking, that Christianity is at its last ebb, and must make way for a new religion. It is absurd even to listen to these wild speeches. Christianity is eternal, if only because Christ did not invent anything strange or new or incomprehensible, but expressed clearly and simply truths which every human being feels dimly in his soul. It is not Christianity that will disappear, but its old and worn-out forms. Christianity is slowly and surely passing from the realms of legend and romance into real daily life, where it will take root more and more firmly, until it reigns supreme on earth. As to your convents, they are nothing but empty hives that the working-bees have long ago abandoned, while the monks are drones who have remained behind to linger lazily in the old place until they die. Is it possible that you, with your heart and your intelligence, can wish to end your life among these unnecessary, useless, sleeping drones?”

Irene listened in dismay. Both Gzhatski and Père Etienne spoke so eloquently and with such conviction. Which of them was in the right?

“And what a wild idea!” exclaimed Gzhatski furiously, “to become a nun! Do you really think there are not enough nuns in Rome without you? Why, the whole town is teeming with convents that give one no peace with their everlasting bells. How many sick women and weak children are there in Rome, who need rest and sleep? And yet those imbeciles start their pandemonium at five o’clock every morning. You see, they have to save their precious souls. We in Russia, with our modest monks and nuns, can hardly grasp the extent of the impudence of these Southern religious orders, and the fury to which they can drive people. I perfectly understand why they were expelled from France, and I only profoundly regret that they have not yet been expelled from Italy. Just look what they have done with Rome. It is no longer a city, it is one huge cemetery. I can’t listen to that eternal dull sound of bells. It always seems to me that they are burying me alive, and celebrating masses for the peace of my sinful soul. I always feel inclined to cry out: ‘You lie! I am alive! And I am going to live a long time yet, and do many useful things.’”

In his enthusiasm, Gzhatski sometimes took recourse to means of which he himself would at another time have disapproved. Thus, on one occasion, he began, with a malicious smile and in some excitement, almost before he had shaken hands:

“You always go to the Via Gallio. But do you know by what nickname your Sœurs Mauves are known in Roman Society?”

“Nickname?” questioned Irene. “I did not know nuns could have nicknames.”

“They are called ‘Les Hetairas du bon Dieu,’” said Gzhatski, lowering his voice.

Irene was angry.

“Are you not ashamed of yourself?” she exclaimed indignantly. “You call yourself a gentleman, and you find it possible to insult these saintly women, who deserve the profoundest respect. I quite believe that the young people of the present day are capable of inventing this or any other obscenity. In their eyes, all women are low and worthless, and they cannot imagine or understand anything good or noble. But you—you! That you should repeat such things!”

“Well, well, I beg your pardon,” said the confused and apologetic Gzhatski. “I did not mean to offend you. I only wanted to tell you how painful to me is the thought that you, my countrywoman, will also be known by this shameful title.”

But the offended Irene would not listen to his apologies. Immediately after Gzhatski’s departure (a somewhat hasty departure on this occasion), she went off to the convent. She hurried along, with the feeling one has when one rushes to friends who have just suffered some trouble or misfortune. Although Irene had never seen the face of a single one of the sisters, nor had spoken to any of them, she had gradually, through these daily hours of common prayer, come to regard them as her personal friends. She was therefore anxious, on this occasion, to prove by her presence her resentment of the insult offered to them by idle, vulgar gossips.

Evensong was almost at an end when Irene entered the church. There were very few people, the choir was singing an exultant hymn, the nuns were frozen into a sort of beatific ecstasy. Irene gazed at them long and seriously, and suddenly realized that no insult could possibly reach them, that it was beyond the power of anyone to offend them. They were above all earthly troubles; nothing earthly had any value for them, all their hopes and dreams were concentrated in the next world. Thus, an emigrant, during his first days on board ship, thinks restlessly of the home he has left behind him, but when weeks have slipped away, his interest in the past grows fainter, and he thinks and dreams only of what he will find in the new land.

Père Etienne noticed Irene’s restlessness, but although he was well aware of her friendship with Gzhatski, never mentioned the Russian’s name. The clever, self-controlled priest neither opposed nor contradicted Gzhatski’s views on Roman Catholicism, views which made themselves clearly felt in all Irene’s words and arguments. He only more eloquently than ever advocated the convent. Under his influence, Irene saw before her a happy, peaceful old age, illuminated by constant sunshine, in the lap of luxurious Southern nature. And then came Gzhatski to destroy this dream; for, listening to his words, as eloquent as any of Père Etienne’s, she grew vaguely ashamed of having abandoned her home and her country, that dear Russia, of which Gzhatski spoke with such love and enthusiasm. He tried hard, indeed, to point out to Irene all the charm and goodness of the Russian people, and bitterly reproached her for having so light-mindedly hardened her heart and turned away from them.

“You have invented for yourself all sorts of fantastic heroes,” he said. And you are unreasonably cross because you do not meet them in real life. Be reasonable, Irene Pavlovna! Human beings are simply animals. It is not so very long since they lived in caves and dressed in skins. They have not been lazy. They have worked zealously at themselves, and have attained much. It is not their fault if it needs another thousand centuries to perfect them, to entirely overthrow the animal, and to attain the spiritual ideal that God has placed before them. If you personally have already attained all this, that is your special good luck; but, pardon me, I doubt it exceedingly. Your life is not at an end yet, and the savage beast may yet awaken in you quite unexpectedly. I, of course, perfectly understand your dislike of the Petrograd career-hunters. I do not greatly admire them myself. Nevertheless, I still assert that ambition, especially in Russia, is more a virtue than a vice. We Slavs are so listless and lazy, that without ambition we become, at the very best, Oblomoffs,[2] and at the worst, primitive beasts. You don’t know the kind of types one meets in our far away provinces.

“You are very proud of the fact that you care nothing for wealth or rank. But do you know, Irene Pavlovna, that this is only another sign of a morbid, diseased nature? I always have the feeling that your ancestors must have lived too forcibly, too passionately—they have left you the legacy of an exhausted organism, and you no longer have the strength to love or care for anything. In your place, I should try to cultivate artificially some passion that would attach you more firmly to Mother Earth!”

[1] A sledge with three horses abreast.—Ed.

[2] A famous character in a novel by Goncharoff, the type of a talented failure.

VIII

Père Etienne, feeling that the struggle with Gzhatski was getting beyond his strength, began to look round for help, and, as a first step, advised Irene to hear some of the sermons that are preached on certain days at most of the principal Roman churches. On the following Sunday, she made her way to San Luigi dei Francesi, a church famous for the eloquence of its preachers. The sermon was to be preached at four o’clock, before Vespers. The organ was playing softly as Irene entered the splendid edifice, with its magnificent marble pillars and bronze decoration. Italian preachers in Rome usually speak from a broad covered rostrum, lined with red cloth, in which frame the preacher, unable to restrain his excitement, strides backwards and forwards, and gesticulates wildly, alternately throwing himself into a chair, and rising again. These broad rostrums are of very ancient origin; their prototype is still to be found among the ruins of the Forum, where they served, in bygone days of the Republic, as platforms from which the populace was addressed.

French preachers do not gesticulate. They mount a little winding stairway, to a round narrow pulpit, with an umbrella-like baldaquin, in which their little figures white-robed, and with black pelerines, look like Chinese dolls. While the Italian priest, in his passionate ardour, smites his chest and thunders at the congregation, his French brother pronounces a calm, well-thought out speech, whose aim is to astonish by its brilliant wit and its fine subtlety.

On this occasion, the sermon was on the subject of the cult of early Christian martyrs. It was, indeed, rather an historical lecture than a sermon. The preacher made a perfectly expressed and masterly exposition of various facts hitherto unknown to Irene, about the catacombs; the high honour in which the tombs of the first Christian martyrs were held, and the respect shown even to false martyrs, i.e., to deceased Christians, given out by their ambitious relatives as saints who had died for the Faith. These falsifications had, according to the preacher, assumed such enormous proportions, that it had been found necessary, in about the second century, to organize a special commission with the purpose of looking into the matter.

“Et comme un faux gentilhomme est exclu de l’armorial,” added the preacher, a little irrelevantly, “ainsi ces faux martyrs furent bannis du martyrologe.”

Irene listened with interest, but wondered a little how this scientific, historical, slightly satirical lecture could touch or help the souls of the listeners. In half an hour it was over, and Irene rose to go, when suddenly the altar was brightly illuminated, the organ began to play, and from the gallery floated the dulcet tones of the beautiful angel-voiced choir. Irene had never heard such passionate romantic singing, except at the opera. It awakened no religious inspiration in her; on the contrary, closing her eyes in complete enjoyment, caressed by the softness of those delicious waves of sound, she saw before her her once-idolized singer Battestini, in the title rôle of Rubinstein’s “Demon.” The unhappy “exiled spirit” was wandering in the desert, solitary, forsaken, heartbroken, hopelessly in love!

“All the sorrow, all the suffering of life,” he sobbed passionately from the gallery, “is caused by solitude. Live together in couples! Love, caress, and comfort one another! And above all things, lose no time! Enjoy the delights of love, while you can!”

The sound of dull, stifled sobbing fell on Irene’s ear. It emanated from a grey-haired old man beside her, who had fallen on his knees and buried his face in his hands.

“He weeps because it is too late for him to love,” concluded Irene, as she glanced pityingly at the bent figure of the old man.

The service ended; the great doors opened, and the warm, golden, Roman evening rushed into the church. Irene turned her steps homewards, enjoying the blue sky, and the gay good-natured Sunday crowd that filled the streets. Somewhere in the distance a military band was playing, the air was full of laughter and merriment. Pretty children, in their best frocks, and with little bare legs, were frolicking about to the evident delight of their parents, who watched them with tender caressing smiles.

“How glorious, how beautiful life is!” thought Irene, still under the impression of the singing. But having traversed two streets and turned into the Piazza Venezia, she suddenly stopped short, horror-struck.

“But they did not sing about earthly love at all!” she exclaimed to herself in complete confusion. “How could such thoughts ever be awakened by their prayers? How did it happen? How came I to fall into such an error?”

Irene was both amazed and ashamed, and decided to say nothing to Père Etienne about her impressions of the service. This, however, was not as easy as it seemed. The wily priest cross-examined her severely, and of course, Irene ended by admitting everything. Père Etienne frowned. He knew all about this tragic “Demon,” singing so passionately in the desert—he had met him twice in the corridor, on the way to Irene’s room!

“You are far too impressionable,” he observed severely, “and music evidently irritates your nerves. You will do better to attend the lectures of Monsignor Berra, in the convent of the Ursulines.”

Irene agreed, and, on the appointed day, knocked at the small door of the convent in the Via Flavia. The sister who answered her knock glanced at the pass ticket in Irene’s hand, and led her through a quadrangle with slim Gothic columns. Irene was astonished at the silence. Only a few steps away was the crowded, noisy street—yet here reigned the stillness of the grave. She raised the leather curtain with which the doors of churches in Rome are always covered during the winter, and found herself in a cold, damp, but very elegant chapel, filled with ladies, young girls, and children. Men were not admitted here—only two abbots were modestly hiding themselves in a corner.

The nuns, true to their traditions, did not show themselves at all, but from somewhere on high came the sound of the organ, while the fresh young voices of the convent school children sang the prayers.

“Well,” thought Irene with a smile, “at least this singing will not lead me into temptation!”

After a short service, Monsignor Berra, a handsome, clever old man, entered the pulpit. Expressing himself in that most elegant French that was once spoken at the French Court, but that is now forgotten by all except, perhaps, the clergy, he began a lecture on Esther.

Irene listened with pleasure to the subtle, clever, witty phrases of the priest, punctuated by long quotations from Racine, whose name, however, Berra did not mention, speaking of him only as “the most Christian of all poets.” But as the lecture continued, it seemed to grow strangely familiar to Irene, and suddenly she remembered what association it awakened in her mind. A few days previously, Lady Muriel had taken her to the Palazzo of the N⸺ Embassy, to see its famous, beautiful tapestries. One of the rooms was lined entirely with scenes from the story of Esther, embroidered after seventeenth-century designs. The figures, indeed, represented neither Persians nor Jews, but simply French Marquises and Viscounts, who had temporarily doffed their powdered wigs, and had amused themselves by dressing up in Persian disguises.

“When I look at Esther,” the witty daughter of the Ambassador had remarked to Irene, pointing to the tapestry, “I always wonder how long she practised and rehearsed fainting, before carrying it out so gracefully!”

Listening to Berra, Irene had quite this same impression of an “imitation” Esther! Described by him, the primitive, passionate Jewess became an affected lady of the Court of Louis XV., one of those numerous favourites who knew well how to use their coquetry in order to manage, to their perfect satisfaction, their own little affairs and those of all their relatives and friends!

Towards the end of the lecture, the preacher abandoned his tone of levity, and grew serious. In connection with Esther’s fervent prayer, he remarked that if our prayers remain unanswered to-day, it is only because they are so cold and proud.

“Imagine, Mesdames,” he said, “a beggar who would approach you in the street, asking for alms, in a cold, proud voice, as though he were demanding his due! Would you not be justly incensed? Would you not turn away and rather bestow your bounty upon one who asks it humbly and in tears? Pray then also to God like humble supplicants, trusting in His mercy and goodness.”

Irene returned home, much impressed by these words. “Yes,” she thought—she was undoubtedly to be counted among the proud beggars! She knew her own virtues, and she considered she had a right to demand a reward from God. How would it be if she were to change the nature of her prayers? And, under the impulse of a new hope, she fell on her knees, weeping, sobbing, praying: “Lord! I am but a humble supplicant! I resign all my rights and privileges! I ask only for mercy! Send me happiness—and if that is impossible, then give me at least rest, that spiritual rest for which my soul hungers!”