E-text prepared by Juliet Sutherland, Brett Koonce, and Project Gutenberg

Distributed Proofreaders

You've got to be taught to hate and fear.
You've got to be taught from year to year,
It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear—
You've got to be carefully taught!

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made
And people whose skin is a different shade—
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate—
You've got to be carefully taught!

Love is quite different.
It grows by itself.

It will grow like a weed
On a mountain of stones;
You don't have to feed
Or put fat on its bones;
It can live on a smile
Or a note of a song;
It may starve for a while,
But it stumbles along,
Stumbles along with its banner unfurled,
The joy and the beauty, the hope of the world.

—Oscar Hammerstein II

THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ

By Bob Evans

(author of Dorothy's Mystical Adventures in Oz, Abducted to Oz, etc.)

and Chris Dulabone

(author of Toto in Oz, The Lunechien Forest of Oz, etc.)

Illustrated by Doré Meers

Founded on and continuing the famous Oz stories by

L. Frank Baum

Royal Historian of Oz

This book is dedicated to Lachie Dunn who first discovered the existence of Saber-Tooth Light-bulbs

CHAPTER 1

THE COWARDLY LION'S HEROIC DEED

In all the world, there is no country or township known that can ever compare against the beauty and magnitude of the Marvelous Land of Oz. This is not a debatable issue. The Land of Oz is not only beautiful with the glittering gemstones that are found commonplace in this remarkable fairyland, but its enchantment goes ever farther. In all the territory of Oz, there is clean, fresh air and gorgeous trees and scenery. There is peace and quiet when such is desired, and there is high adventure and excitement at other times. In Oz, no one ever grows older than he chooses, and death is practically unheard of. The country is situated in the center of a vast continent, and is surrounded by an impassable Deadly Desert.

Although the vast Deadly Desert Around Oz aptly prevents tourism from abroad, those who are fortunate enough to live on the proper side of this sandy enigma will surely testify that the land is as no other.

The country itself is divided into five distinct regions. The most important of these is the Emerald City. This famous area lies in the exact center of the oblong land, and is home to the supreme ruler over Oz. Her name is Ozma, and she is but a tiny child. Even so, no other ruler in any other country has ever been more respected, loved, or envied. To the south of Ozma's remarkable palace is the Quadling Country. This is ruled over by a powerful Witch named Glinda the Good. In the Quadling Country, red is the favored color, and most of the buildings, walls and furniture are distinctly red in hue. To the west lies the Winkie Country, which is a land where everything is bright and yellow-colored. To the north is the purple Gillikin territory, and to the east live the Munchkins. Among these little people, blue was clearly the color of preference.

It is to this easternmost region that I wish to direct your attention.
It was in the blue Munchkin Country of Oz that a house happened to fall
from the sky and land with a loud crash atop a most unfortunate Wicked
Witch.

Now although this particular Wicked Witch was about as repugnant as they come, and her evil doings had brought more misery to more people than can possibly be recorded in these few pages, it was still rather sad to see her wicked legacy brought to such an abrupt close. Especially as the particular house that happened to squish her was one which belonged to a tiny little girl named Dorothy Gale. To think that a mere toddler could bring an end to the story of the Wicked Witch of the East!

But the story did not exactly end there. It seems that, before such time as the old woman's liveliness was shmushed by little Dorothy's home, she had left a little souvenir to remember her by. Actually, it was quite a large souvenir!

She and her equally-vile sister Allidap, the Wicked Witch of the West, had created the souvenir to do battle with the Wonderful Wizard of Oz himself. Had it not been for the Wizard's powerful magic charms, he may well have been defeated. But thanks to his magic, the Wizard of Oz was able to thwart the attacks of the Witches and banish their souvenir to a forest that lay in the southern land of the Quadlings. But fearing the Witches may try to attack him again, the Wizard hid himself away in the glorious Emerald City and became a hermit.

Then, one day, Dorothy's house came down and whumped out the Wicked Witch of the East. This, needless to say, was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch. Little Dorothy was advised in the Munchkin Country to head for the central city and seek out the reclusive old Wizard, being told that he alone could help her to get home to Kansas.

It was a long and difficult journey, but the child was equal to the challenge. Along the way, she chanced to meet up with the Cowardly Lion. He was a formerly respected leader of the Animal Kingdom, but this particular lion had fallen into disgrace due to his outlandishly unkinglike cowardice. He and the little girl became fast friends, and they journeyed together in search of Oz and, later on, Glinda the Good. It was on their journey to locate Glinda the Good that they happened to stray into the very forest where the Witches' souvenir was staying. As they walked through the vast forest, a large and tawny tiger approached the Cowardly Lion and bowed subjectively before him.

"Welcome, O King of Beasts!" quoth the tiger. "You have come in good time to fight our enemy and bring peace to all the animals of the forest once more."

"What is your trouble?" asked the Cowardly Lion in a quiet voice.

"We are all threatened," answered the tiger, "by a fierce enemy which has lately come into this forest. It is a most tremendous Monster, like a great spider, with a body as big as an elephant and legs as long as a tree trunk. It has eight of these long legs, and as the Monster crawls through the forest he seizes an animal with a leg and drags it to his mouth, where he eats it as a spider does a fly. Not one of us is safe while this fierce creature is alive, and we had called a meeting to decide how to take care of ourselves when you came among us."

The Cowardly Lion thought over the situation carefully.

"Are there any other lions in this forest?" he enquired.

"No; there were some, but the Monster has eaten them all. And, besides, they were none of them nearly so large and brave as you."

The Lion got an idea that he hoped would help him overcome his disgrace.

"If I put an end to your enemy," he began, "will you bow down to me and obey me as King of the Forest?"

"We will do that gladly," returned the big tiger. The rest of the forest animals voiced assent.

"Where is this great spider of yours now?" asked the Cowardly Lion bravely.

"Yonder," said the tiger, indicating with a tawny paw, "among the oak trees."

The Cowardly Lion overcame his fear and ignored the trepidation within his heart. He came upon the Forest Monster shortly thereafter. Even though it was sound asleep, it was the most ghastly sight that the Cowardly Lion had ever laid eyes on. It was huge, black and furry. It was filthy, too. Its putrid smell had the Lion reeling in spite of himself. But he pressed onward. The snores of the ugly Monster revealed its razor-sharp fangs which measured in at at least a foot long. Its powerful legs were as muscular as those of a Hercules and were as big around as a house and as long as the trunk of a tree. The claws on the end of its eight enormous legs were curved and as sharp as scimitars. It was quite the sort of thing that nightmares are made of.

But the Cowardly Lion noticed that the Forest Monster had one weakness. He was observant enough to notice that, though the spider was so much larger than any other spider he had ever seen, its neck was as slender as a wasp's waist. Given this obvious oversight on the part of the Wicked Witches who had designed him, the Forest Monster suddenly seemed less Monstrous to the Cowardly Lion. With a leap and a single blow of his mighty paw, he knocked the Forest Monster's head clean off! He then watched the writhing body until its legs stopped wiggling and he knew that it was quite dead.

[Illustration: "With a leap and a single blow of his mighty paw, he knocked the Forest Monster's head clean off!"]

CHAPTER 2

ELEPHANT'S DAY

"Elephant?" asked Tweaty, a yellow canary who was looking up at the large gray beast.

"Yes?" asked the elephant, who was drinking a tall glass of chocolate milk with his trunk.

"I was just thinking about the new Queen of Oz," said the bird solemnly. "Do you think she'll last? I mean, I really thought that the Wonderful Wizard of Oz himself would rule over the Land forever. Then I placed my confidence in His Majesty the Scarecrow. Now, out of the blue, we've got this little girl who is probably younger than most eggs, and we are supposed to give her our neverending support?"

"Why in the world not?" the pachyderm drawled as he indolently stretched
himself. "Nibbles and I agree that, though she is very young, Princess
Ozma shows a lot of promise as Oz's new leader. Give the child a chance.
She's only been a Queen for a week or so!"

"Absolutely, Tweaty!" Nibbles agreed. "And so many rulers have been youthful. Remember the old story about King Tut? He was just a little boy."

Few persons guessed that Nibbles, Elephant and Tweaty were old friends, so unlike were they in appearance and disposition. Tweaty was delicate, clean and could sing for hours on end without repeating a tune. He took pride in his appearance and always made sure that his refulgent feathers were clean. Nibbles, on the other hand, was a mouse. He was often found digging in the trash that was sometimes left by careless campers or burrowing in other animals' nests. His fur was not what most would deem tidy, but he was amiable and companionable. Elephant, by far the largest of the three, was less colorful. He liked the other animals, and he ofttimes wanted to help the smaller creatures as best he could, but his immense size and bulk generally made him feel more like a nuisance than a help. In spite of legends that would have us all believe that elephants are afraid of mice, he found that most of his favorite playmates were among the smaller creatures of Oz. He enjoyed fellowship with mice, as well as with rabbits and hedgehogs. He had befriended Nibbles at a young age, and it had been Nibbles who had introduced him to Tweaty.

The three friends were enjoying a relaxing afternoon in a remote region of the Munchkin Country known as the Lunechien Forest. It was a time of transition in the Land of Oz. The child Queen, Ozma of Oz, had just been named Ruler over the land. This news had met with mixed reactions. Many Ozites maintained that only the Wonderful Wizard could rule the land. Others favored the amiable Scarecrow. But all admitted that, even though a tiny little girl, Ozma was a unique leader. She had already proven that. She had not only created and brought to life a pumpkin-headed man named Jack, a wooden Sawhorse, and a wobbly monstrosity with the head of a Gump, but had also gone forth with these unlikely companions and saved the Land of Oz from a terrible fate.

[Illustration: Elephant, drinking chocolate milk.]

"But she's a little girl!" said the bird. "She's a child! Children should be allowed to enjoy their childhoods. This kid should learn to play jacks or skip a rope. She should have some nice paper dolls to dress up. She should have nice toys. She is too young to be a Queen. Let her live a happy life for a while before you go throwing all that responsibility on her. She's only a baby, for crying out loud!"

"She is a cute little thing, though," Elephant remarked, half to himself.

"Cute?" Tweaty demanded in surprise. "That is hardly a reason to elect someone leader. Especially over such a vast country as Oz. Maybe if Oz were a little dinky insignificant country like America or Kansas, it would be okay. But Oz is so much bigger than those places. Elephant, don't you think that adorable infant deserves a childhood to enjoy before getting schlepped into Queenhood unprepared?"

Before Elephant could reply, an unexpected occurrence drove all idle thoughts from his mind. It all happened in an instant.

From the ends of the earth to the top of the sky, an unearthly roar issued forth. It was as blood-curdling as a scream, yet as sinister as a red dragon's growl.

Then, before the horrified trio, a gigantic spider loomed before them. It looked as if it were hungry, and it was so uncannily big that it could easily have devoured all three of them in an instant! It might have, too, had it not been distracted by the sight of a small yellow cat which was darting by. It took the feline in its massive claws and raised her to its mouth.

CHAPTER 3

THE FOREST MONSTER

Elephant stampeded frantically toward the scene, fearing for the life of the cat.

"We'll need all the help we can get," Elephant said grimly. "That animal is big! But it has poor Fisher the Cat. We can't let it eat her up!"

"Why not?" asked Nibbles.

The Elephant slung himself against the Monster's leg as hard as he could, but the creature did not even seem to notice. In a glance it was apparent to the bird and the mouse that their companion was in trouble.

"Elephant!" shouted Tweaty. "Get away from that thing! Look at its teeth! It will eat your nose off! Get your body away from it!"

[Illustration: Elephant vs. Forest Monster]

But Elephant was determined. He made a loud trumpet noise and stepped on the Monster's foot. With a howl of pain, the Forest Monster dropped the cat.

"What do you think you're doing, to try and eat Fisher up like that? A poor defenseless cat! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

"I wasn't going to eat her up, you dolt!" said the Monster in a cold and scratchy voice. "I was trying to see if it was a lion. I was told by a certain squirrel that it was a lion who lopped my head off."

"But you've still got your head," Tweaty interjected.

"Yeah, now!" said the Monster. "But it was a pain in the neck trying to get it back! And before I could, my body began to shrink. I kept getting smaller and smaller. I felt like Alice after eating the wrong thing!"

"Holy cow!" said Nibbles. "Are you saying that you were once bigger than you are now?"

"No, actually. I found myself a way to restore my size."

"How is that?"

"I have captured a very magical insect-bug in one of my webs. Sweet little thing, too. Some people spray insects with a flit gun, but I like to eat them up. Bugs are yummy in my tummy! But my little Lovebug is special. She doesn't go in my tummy. Instead, she gets to stay wound up in my web, only to be let free long enough to give me what I need."

"What is that?" asked Elephant with a shudder.

"The biggest and grandest thing in the universe is, of course, True Love. Even though shaped a bit like a cockroach, my Lovebug can produce the stuff inside her teeny little heart. All I have to do is chant a certain incantation and then to have her kiss me once or twice each day, and I stay as big as I like!"

"But that is terrible!" said Tweaty. "You can't abuse Love that way! Love is supposed to be beautiful and friendly and stuff like that! To cheapen this sacred gift by forcing someone into submission by magic or force is an abuse of Love, and not what the gods had in mind for us at all. If you are making this Love-insect your slave, you are abusing the whole concept and also missing the point!"

With another tremendous roar, the huge spider was gone. He obviously did not care for any more lecturing that day.

"Good riddance, I say!" spoke Nibbles. "That big old thing was ugly! And it smelled awful!"

"Where's Fisher?" asked Elephant.

"I think the thingy ate her up after all."

"I sure hope not!"

"I'm fine," came the feline meow. "Is that beast gone away yet?"

"It has," answered the pachyderm. Oddly, neither Nibbles nor Tweaty felt the slightest tinge of fear at the sight of the cat. In Oz, natural enemies ofttimes become the dearest of friends. Indeed, Oz is a truly remarkable land!

"I think I saw all nine of my lives flash before me that time!" said the cat. "What in the heck was that thing that had me?"

"I don't know," said Elephant. "But I hope we'll never see it again."

"But you have to rescue that poor little insect!" said an earthworm, poking her head out of the ground. "Didn't you bozos hear what that thing said about Lovebug? He's got her stuck in his sticky web, and he is treating her like a slave and he's even making her—ugh!—kiss him! How yucky can you get? You must save that poor little bug. She is a good bug. Love is always good! Please help her. Please. I can't bear to think of her in that predicament!"

"It's a stupid bug, for crying out loud!" said Tweaty. "Don't you think that we have more important things to do than to go and save a stupid bug?"

"But this is Oz, where everyone is equal," Nibbles pointed out. "Even a cat like Fisher is our friend. In this fantastic country, I'd think that even a tiny insect is not beneath our concern. I think we should save her."

"Give me a break!" Tweaty said. "I'm not about to face that big ugly
Monster again for the sake of a cockroach!"

"She is not a cockroach," said the worm. "She is a kindly insect who helps people in need to feel cared about. She has great powers to do that for people. But that spider is misusing her powers and making her serve him in a most wicked capacity against her will. He is abusing her and she is probably miserable. How can you let him treat such a sweet being in such an awful manner?"

"I, for one, am willing to try to help save Lovebug," said Elephant.

"Me too," said Nibbles.

"I think…"

Before Tweaty could finish his sentence, a loud scream was heard. Hurrying toward the sound, they found Louie the Lobo with a pale expression.

"What happened?" asked Elephant.

"Something took Tiger!" he said. "I didn't see who it was, but something took him away while we were talking about the Tin Woodman. I don't know who would do such a foul thing! Tiger is my best friend! I yelled at the kidnapper, but to no avail. I have lost my best friend!" He began to cry like a kitten.

"It must have been that awful Forest Monster-Spider!" Nibbles swallowed hard. "I know it was he who did this! He is so horrific! We must get word to the new Queen. We really must!"

"I agree wholeheartedly," spoke Elephant. "We can not allow this sort of thing to happen. Do you remember the last time enslavement was happening here in our Munchkin country?"

"I do," said the mouse. "It was when that Wicked Witch had us all enslaved. Oh, she was ever so much worse than I had ever realized! I'm glad that house fell down and made her into mush."

"But we cannot count on any houses falling down on this spider man," said Tweaty with certainty. "You are quite right when you say that we should do something about it. I was being awfully selfish when I refused to do anything to help that little bug. But now my eyes are opened. To think that not even a tiger is safe in that Monster's wake! This means sure danger for birds and mice and elephants, too!"

"Then let's go and inform the new Queen straightaway!" trumpeted Elephant. "I am willing to believe that she has the power to help us if anyone does."

"But we should have something to show her to prove that we are not insane," said Nibbles. "After all, who would ever believe that such a beast could exist? It isn't natural. And besides …"

He cut his sentence short when his eye fell upon a large marking on the ground.

"Gads!" exclaimed Elephant. "That is one of the Monster's footprints! Goodness! Just look how deep it is! That creature must weigh a million tons!"

"Yes," agreed Tweaty, flittering into the hole. "This footprint is almost as big around as a horse! And look at the size of those claws! I'll bet it could rip Elephant in two without even straining itself!"

"Let's not discuss that," shuddered the pachyderm. "But I think we should save this footprint for the Queen. Because she is a mere child, she will be most impressed by its mass. I think we should make a cast of it and carry it to the Emerald City to show her what we are up against."

Nibbles and Tweaty hurriedly went to a nearby maple tree and gnawed at its trunk for a time. With Elephant's help, they poured some maple syrupy sap into the footprint. Elephant blew on this with his strong lungs until it hardened. Then, there before the trio, was a perfect cast of the Forest Monster's footprint.

Eagerly Elephant snatched it up in his trunk and flung it onto his back.

"Let's get on our way," he said. The other two nestled upon his head and they were off to the Emerald City of Oz.

CHAPTER 4

AN UNLIKELY TRIO OF FRIENDS

Elephant, Tweaty and Nibbles were ready to leave, and it seemed that dozens of other forest animals were of the same mind. The ferocity of the Forest Monster had led many of the denizens of the Lunechien Forest to panic. Many of them wanted to tell the Lord of the Forest about the trouble, while others elected to go to Glinda the Good, who ruled over the neighboring Land of the Quadlings. Animals were running to and fro, and there was a mass of confusion.

"Look out!" Nibbles cried suddenly. "That Unicorn is coming right at us!"

Elephant was helpless in trying to avert the disaster. An abnormally frightened Unicorn, undoubtedly made nervous by the excitement, had lost control of her footing. She plowed into the rear of the elephant with a jolt which nearly flung the two passengers on his head into Glowing Limbo.

Retrieving his companions and determining that they were unhurt, he listened for a few moments to the oft-repeated apologies of the Unicorn and then set out again.

"I sure hope that Queen Ozma can do something about that ugly brute," said Nibbles.

"If she can't, we'll be no worse off than when we started," replied
Tweaty.

The subject was dropped there. Elephant had run most rapidly and the trio was now approaching the Emerald City.

"Excuse me," said the man at the gate. "Who are you and what is your business in the Emerald City?"

"We want to see the child who has become our Queen," replied Elephant.

"On what grounds?"

"On the ground I'm walking upon now, I suppose. Is there a problem?"

"What is your business with the Queen? If you are here to make fun of her age, you are welcome to go away. Queen Ozma was sent to us by the Fairy Queen Lurliné herself, and she has our respect. Even though she is a tiny child, she is not to be made sport of."

"No one is making sport of anyone," said Elephant gruffly. "Though if you don't get out of my way I may decide to use you for a football."

"That will not be necessary," said the guard. "But you will need to wear green glasses. It is a rule that was set up by the Wonderful Wizard of Oz himself. It is because of the gleaming magnitude of all the big gemstones everywhere. If you don't wear these special glasses, you might well be blinded by their brilliance. I hope you won't object to this."

"Well," said Elephant. "I fear that your glasses will not fit someone my size. Nor, for that matter, the smaller sizes of my companions."

"Jeepers," said the guard. "I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps you're right." He practically threw himself into his chestful of green glasses, but found none that would fit the animals. "I guess I'll have to make you some. This may take a while, so you'll have to find something to do in the mean."

"How about we go and talk to the Queen while you make us our glasses?" suggested Nibbles.

"A grand idea!" replied the guard. He opened the gate and the company entered.

The Emerald City of Oz is a truly remarkable place. It has had so many volumes written about it that it hardly needs a description here, but it should be noted that our trio was most impressed.

Ozma, too, was very impressive. They came upon her while she was engrossed in playing paper-dolls with another little girl on the palace steps.

[Illustration: Ozma]

"Excuse me, your Majesty," said Elephant.

The child looked up from her game and smiled at the pachyderm. "Hello," she said quietly.

"My Dear Queen," said Elephant, "I and my cohorts are from the Lunechien Forest of Oz. It is situated in the Munchkin Country, and we are proud to call ourselves your subjects."

"Thank you very much," Ozma said politely. "Do you want to play paper-dolls with us?"

"I—er, well, I suppose at some point I could be persuaded," stammered
Elephant. "But I have come on very important business just now."

As the animals watched, Ozma seemed to make a complete transformation. She remained a child, but her eyes suddenly grew solemn and she raised herself from her seat on the steps. Even though very young and inexperienced, the Child Queen took on an appearance of regal splendor. It made Elephant want to bow down before her, and this he promptly did. It was fortunate that Tweaty could fly, but unfortunate that Nibbles could not. Tweaty zoomed into the air without mishap as soon as Elephant's head went down in his bow. Nibbles, however, was thrust through the air by the impact of Elephant's exuberant show of subjection. He flew toward the child and did not stop until he became caught in her pocket. Ozma, being that she was only a little girl after all, began to scream until Elephant reached into the pocket with his trunk and retrieved the rodent.

"Thank you," Ozma said, composing herself. "When I was a little boy named Tip, I'd have probably thought that very funny. But I am beginning to feel like Ozma again. This is who I am truly destined to be. Now tell me, what is the nature of your call?"

Elephant and the others quickly explained about the Forest Monster and how they feared for their lives. As they spoke, the child grew more and more solemn.

"It is hard to be a ruler over such a big land as Oz," spoke the child after she had heard the news concerning the spider creature. "But I am not willing to allow such a fiendish creature to harm any of my subjects. I do not know of your Lunechien Forest, but I will do all in my power to assist you."

[Illustration: Lurliné, leader of the fairies]

CHAPTER 5

THE QUEEN OF OZ

The magic of Oz began with little more than a simple wish. The man who ruled at that long-forgotten time, King Ozroar, was not a very happy monarch. He ruled the beautiful land, but he had no magic with which to insure the happiness of the people. Sickening fogs would envelop the land from time to time, and the area was never very prosperous. Still, it was too beautiful to go overlooked by the fairies. These magical beings are able to see things as they should be, not only as they are. One fairy who was especially interested in the land of Oz was a leader of fairies named Lurliné.

Lurliné was no ordinary fairy ruler, though. She had especial insight into the things that made beauty what it is. It was her keen insight that once brought her to Mount Olympus. This legendary mountain has long been said to be the home of many ancient Gods. According to the Ozian storytellers, who still today will sit by your campfire and tell you a tale in exchange for a cup of tea or a morsel of food, these Immortals recognized her abilities at once, and she was admitted into their society of Godhood. As a Goddess, Lurliné was able to gain access to many things.

With the help of her fairy band, as well as the input of her sister fairy, Polychrome, Lurliné was able to give the Land of Oz the magical enchantment that made it what it is today. But she did not do the deed without a few pitfalls.

Among the things that Lurliné required to fulfill the spell's needs were
Apollo's own sky chariot, the flying horses to pull it through the air,
Kolé's essence of crystal, and Lillith's brazier of endless flame. At
Polychrome's suggestion, she also obtained Iris' jug of rainbow.

Unfortunately, Lurliné was not always scrupulous. In this event, she elected to take the various magical requirements without the permission of the various deities. She stole into their chambers at night as they lay sleeping and took the elements she wished. She then went together with her fairy band and performed the enchantment over Oz.

She was banished from Mount Olympus as a result of her rash action. But, supposing the legend is all true, the marvelous Land of Oz remains as a glowing tribute to the powers of the Fairy Queen Lurliné. And to insure its longevity, Lurliné arranged for a fairy ruler to watch over the country she had created. Of course, the ruler would have to be a native Ozite. She would be a beautiful princess.

Princess Ozma was born several generations later unto a descendant of Ozroar and his wife Ozia, herself a descendant of fairies and daughter of Oziana. Young Ozma was prepared to take on the leadership of Oz upon reaching adulthood.

But Lurliné's plan was balked by the arrival of Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henckle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs. This was a mortal man from outside of the enchanted land who landed there in a balloon. It had been he who had erected the Emerald City, and he who had sold the infant Ozma into slavery at the hands of a heartless old Witch named Mombi. To hide the infant queen, Mombi had transformed her into a boy. She believed that no one would ever think to look to a little boy to find the fairy princess, so Ozma was aptly hidden away for a very long time.

But things in Oz do have a way of working out for the best. After Diggs left the country, Ozma was found and restored to her proper being. She had aged very little, being that Oz folk age only when they choose to, and little Ozma had just been given her rightful place on the royal throne. Most of this history, of course, was unknown to Elephant and his companions. They saw only the fact that she was a child. They did not know of her unique experiences at all. If they had, they'd have surely recognized that she was more aware of human needs and the differences there connected. But even to their eyes, it was clear that this child was very special. They had every hope that she would be able to do as they needed done to rid their land of the terrifying Forest Monster.

[Illustration: Tiger caught in a Spiderweb.]

CHAPTER 6

THE GIANT SPIDER

Tiger growled as he watched his captor wrap him in the strong webbing. He was a fairly small tiger, but he was accustomed to being larger than any spider he had ever heard of. This spider, he felt certain, was some sort of a freak of nature. Perhaps a direct result of the humans' constant littering, or maybe a military experiment gone haywire.

"Ahh, my little pussycat," laughed the creature. "I have you now. There is no need for further struggle."

"Like I told you before," grumbled Tiger, "I am not a lion. I am a striped tiger. Can't you see that?"

"I can admit that you do not look like what I had in mind," replied the spider. "However, you are feline in nature. That is all I care about just now."

"But it wasn't me who beheaded you. I am innocent!"

"Perhaps," the spider seemed unconcerned. "Perhaps what you say is true, and then again, perhaps you're Lion to me. In any event, you are at the very least a distant cousin to that animal that lopped my head off. When he hears that you are in my clutches, he'll be here."

"But this is a small, rarely traversed forest," said the tiger. "It isn't often that news from the Lunechien Forest gets out to the rest of the country."

"Then you shall stay here as my guest," grinned the spider. "After all, the little insect has been satisfying me less lately. I had been using her sweet charity to keep myself giant-sized." He stalked over to a wall on the far side of the cave. Indicating two yellowing papers with crudely drawn human faces on them, he turned back toward his bound prisoner. "These are pictures I drew of the Great Masters. They created me, and gave me the powers I possess. When they asked me to devour their bald-headed little enemy, I was only too happy to comply. He had too much magic in him, however. I was sent away from my beloved Creators." Tiger thought that the monster was about to cry, but he went on. "I made the best of it, though. I became the leader of a lot of wild animals in an untamed wood. Oh, they never actually called me that. But they feared me. You'd better believe it! They were scared spitless by me! Until one day, when that … that … that LION came along and used my head as if it were a baseball! But I'll get even now, little friend. Believe you me! I will find that lion, and I will chomp his head off! You just wait and see if I don't!" He turned to the drawing of the Witch of the East. "I will avenge myself on this lion for us both," he said, crossing himself.

"But, really," begged Tiger. "I have no argument with you. Please let me free. I will help you bag your lion-prey."

"Not a bit of that!" snarled the spider. "I have better plans for you."

"Better plans?"

"Most definitely. As I was saying, the bug's no longer sufficient for my needs. I am told that you have a powerful and courageous heart. Bold and fearless, is it not?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand your …"

"If I use your heartfelt emotions, which seem to be, er … well, tiger-sized by definition … If I can do that, I can remain giant-sized for time and all eternity. I can be all-powerful! I will be the bravest arachnid on the face of the earth! And next, my little chickadee, I plan to capture some little beasts that are called Hootsey and … Lisa, is it? Owls, I think. They are known for their wisdom and kindness to their fellow Ozites. I care nothing for their kindness, of course. My power comes from the negative uses of the senses. But I plan to make use of their immense knowledge. Oh, yes! And then, my dear little Tiger, THEN! I shall reach out to my definitive prize in all the Lunechien Forest. That big wrinkly fellow I saw not too long ago. He had a nose like a garden hose, but my little bug has unwittingly told me that he is the one to whom the forest beasts turn when they have problems. He likes to solve problems, and has a phenomenal knack for it. He is wise beyond his years, and his emotions encompass all the land! He is also one of the strongest and most bold beasts in all the Lunechien territory—even putting the tigers like you to shame! When I can capture this Elephant, I will be all-powerful! I will be almighty! I will be superhuman! Then, I shall be able to take on the beast who has come to be known as the Cowardly Lion. A most unfitting moniker, wouldn't you say, for a fellow who swiped off my head while I was asleep one day?"

"You'll never get away with this!" roared Tiger. "Elephant is too big and strong to be beaten by any spider—even one so large as you!"

"We'll see about that shortly, Shorty," replied the spider. "Now, won't we?"

CHAPTER 7

THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ

Meanwhile, word of the monster's plans for Tiger had reached Elephant and Tweaty and Nibbles via Hootsey and Lisa. The trio had been showing Ozma the cast of the giant footprint when the owls flew in with the news. Ozma was astounded that such a beast could live in her domain without her being aware of it. And indeed, the beast had kept a fairly low profile until recently. But it was quite obvious that a power struggle was now going on. The beast was gradually finding out that he could grow larger and stronger at the expense of others and would no doubt not be satisfied until he was so large and powerful that every living creature would be under his domain. Why, even Ozma herself was in danger. The owls quickly informed her that the beast's first goal was to capture Elephant in order to gain the super strength that would enable him to attack the Cowardly Lion. However, she knew he had to absorb Tiger's power and courage first before he would dream of attacking Elephant. It was quite obvious he was going to have to think fast before Tiger became a mere shell of his old self.

Hootsey and Lisa were naturally quite concerned for their own welfare. They did not want their wisdom sucked out of them by a giant spider with vampire-like tendencies. One has to live a long time and learn by trial and error before one can truly be considered wise. Of course, some people never learn. They make the same mistakes over and over. However, that is neither here nor there. The point is that Hootsey and Lisa were in as much danger as anyone and were very anxious to help in any way they could.

"If I might make a suggestion?" said Hootsey. "I recently came upon some unusual creatures that could very well be a match for the monster."

Of course, everyone was all ears, and fell silent as Hootsey began to talk.

"These creatures are very unusual in that they are technically made of glass and so would appear to be very fragile. But when they open their mouths they are a most ferocious sight to behold. They are of a bulbous shape with very long legs that can move at the speed of light—"

At this point Nibbles intercepted Hootsey's graphic description.

"These animals sound most interesting, but they don't sound particularly ferocious—"

"Oh, wait!" responded Hootsey. "I haven't told you the best part. Their mouths are filled with razor-sharp teeth and they can rip any animal to shreds in two seconds. When a pack of them attack, the unfortunate victim never even knows what hit him. It's over that fast."

[Illustration: Owl describing Saber-tooth Light-Bulbs]

"And what might the name of these creatures be?" responded Elephant.

"Well," answered Hootsey. "Two important factors contribute to their name. One is their ability to light their bodies up at night brighter than a hundred glow worms. The second is when they open their mouths and expose those teeth you would think you were looking at a Saber-Toothed tiger. Anyone want to guess their name?"

"Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs!" everyone responded in unison.

They all began to feel a little better to know that perhaps the dreadful spider-creature may not be so formidable after all. It was difficult to imagine how he could possibly stand up to a ferocious pack of Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs. Of course, the next thing that must be done would be to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs and see if they would be willing to take on the monster. The little group was so engrossed in mulling this over that they did not notice a new visitor in their midst. It was Tweaty who first noticed him and nudged Nibbles in the ribs. Nibbles looked up to observe the strangest-looking little chap that he had ever set eyes on. He was a sort of miniature Fred Flintstone—short and pudgy. But he had a nose to beat all noses! It wasn't that it was long or funny shaped or anything. It was just big (and I really mean BIG!). Anyway, when Tweaty poked Nibbles in the ribs, it was a pretty hard poke. And Nibbles let out quite a yell. Everyone turned to look, and saw the stranger.

"Excuse me," said the stranger. "I didn't mean to intrude. But I saw everyone here having a meeting and I didn't want to interrupt. However, since I now have your undivided attention, I feel duty-bound to convey the reason for my being here in the hopes that you will not consider it an intrusion on your privacy."

"Well, he is certainly polite," commented Hootsey. "It is my considered opinion that we should hear what he has to say."

"By all means," everyone said, nodding in unison.

"Well, my mission is really with Queen Ozma. You see, my people have encountered some border skirmishes with our neighbors to the north and we were hoping that Queen Ozma could use her good offices and apply her diplomatic powers of persuasion to encourage them to retreat back into their own territory. You see, they are very aggressive in nature; whereas we are a very passive people."

"Might I ask if they have made any formal declaration of hostilities?" asked the Queen in her best adult voice.

"Well, no. Not exactly," responded the little chap. "Perhaps the best way of clarifying the situation would be for me to read this copy of a recent speech our President gave to our parliamentary congress." With that, he pulled out a rolled-up manuscript from his coat pocket with a flourish and began to read;

"'Ladies and Gentlemen: I have called this emergency session of the Five Hundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress to inform you of some very disturbing developments along our northern border. As president of the Sniffer Nation, I need not remind you of the delicate nature of our highly sensitive olfactory organs—our noses. And would you believe that our so-called friendly northern neighbors—the Stinkfoots—have recently seen fit to ignore all previous treaties and sense of common decency! They have caused great distress among our border residents by not only building new residential dwellings right smack up against the border, but have blatantly crossed the border in ever increasing numbers and brazenly thumbed their ridiculously small noses at Sniffer citizens who were unfortunate enough to cross their paths. They have also been observed taking soil samples from our rich bottom land. The reasons for this are now known to us. You will be shocked to the core when I reveal this to you in a moment. In the meantime many of our border residents have become so overwhelmed and nauseated by the smell of the Stinkfoots that they have moved lock stock and barrel to the city. I immediately dashed off a letter of protest to the Stinkfoot President, demanding an immediate withdrawal to the previously negotiated line of demarcation two miles north of the border.'

"I do not wish to alarm our citizens to the point of panic, but I shall now read to you their President's reply:

"'To President Humongous Schnozzle; distinguished Members of the Five Hundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress of the Sniffer Nation; and to all of the humble citizens of your fair land.

"'First, let me apologize for not entering into new negotiations regarding our present expansion. But due to a severe blight on our stinkweed crop, which as you know is our staple diet, our people are becoming severely malnourished. I'm sure that you are all well aware that we are greatly dependent on the stinkweed plant for many purposes, the least of which is the manufacture of stinkweed pills which we all partake of religiously in order to maintain that rich aroma that permeates our bodies, but which mainly radiates from the area of our feet. As you know, our olfactory senses are virtually nonexistent, but we are aware of a slight essence of this aroma which we find most pleasing. Unfortunately for others who might stray across our borders, the smell overpowers them in seconds, rendering any potential invader helpless. Now, as a result of the factors I have just presented to you, we find your bottom land by our northern borders to be extremely rich in nutrients that the stinkweed plant needs to flourish, and preliminary experimental results indicate that stinkweed plants grown in this environment are completely immune to the blight that is wiping out our crop. Therefore, we have no option but to take as much of your land as will insure the very survival of the proud nation that we are. That is why we did not inform you formally or informally. The matter is simply not negotiable.

"'Sincerely

"'Stinky McFoot President (Past, Present and Future) of Stinkfootland

"'P.S.—It is not our fault that the Sniffer people have such big noses that their sense of smell is ultra sensitive to our presence.'"

The little group had fallen silent. "You know," said Elephant to Ozma. "We are greatly sympathetic to their predicament. However, the situation with the Stinkfoots and the Sniffers is diverting us from our real problem—which is that huge, furry, ugly, filthy putrid monstrosity who calls himself a spider."

"That's very true," said Ozma. "But remember, we have to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs before we can do anything. In the meantime, the President of the Sniffer Nation has asked our help and we simply cannot refuse. He and his people are in a real bind."

"I'll be in a real bind if that monster attacks me," snapped Elephant.
"I'll be bound up in his giant web and devoured to death."

"Now don't you worry," Ozma replied, reaching up to pat Elephant's trunk. "We won't let anything happen to you."

Her answer must have satisfied Elephant, because he wrapped his trunk around her waist and hoisted her up to his back. Then he walked down to the stream and took a long drink. As they returned to join the group, Hootsey was clearing his throat and proceeded to speak with pure wisdom dripping from every word. "I have been thinking…"

Before he could continue, Lisa interrupted him. "I can see that you've been thinking because smoke is coming out of your ears." Of course she had a twinkle in her eyes when she said this, but Hootsey did not see the humor of it.

"Well that's very funny, Ha! Ha!" he said dryly. "I'm dying of laughter, Ho! Ho! Ho!" After he finished glaring at Lisa, he continued … "So, anyway, as I was saying," again glaring at Lisa, "before I was so rudely interrupted! There is great diversity in Oz. I mean, there are so many different kinds of people, yet for the most part we all get along fairly well. Oh, we have our differences of opinion. No question about it. But we seem to resolve them without too much upheaval. Well, most of the time. Anyway, the point is—"

At that, Tweaty interrupted. "I can see immediately that you have never been to Chilepepperland."

"And where, pray tell, is Chilepepperland?" enquired Hootsey with a hint of cynicism. "And why have I never heard of it?"

"Perhaps you've never heard of it because you're too busy trying to think of wise things to say," interrupted Nibbles. "After all, you have a reputation to uphold."

Hootsey could not be sure if Nibbles was being a "smart alec" or was just paying him a complement.

"Chilepepperland is beyond the great desert," answered Tweaty, "in a very remote region which is surrounded by impenetrable terrain composed of jagged rocks. There is only one narrow passageway which twists and turns every which way through the rocks. The sides of the passageway are quite sheer. If you were looking down from above, it would just seem like a chasm because you cannot see the path at the bottom. Besides, the road disappears in places where it goes under the rocks. The entrance is completely hidden by prickly pear bushes which are plentiful in the region. That is why no one has ever heard of Chilepepperland. Because it is basically cut off from civilization."

"How did you discover it?" Elephant asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well," continued Tweaty, "I happened to be flying over the area one day and spotted a group of green chilepeppers having a picnic. They invited me to lunch and told me all about their turbulent history. It seems that Chilepepperland was first occupied by several tribes of red chilepeppers who were, for the most part, peace-loving. Oh, they had occasional small skirmishes among themselves. But they lived in relative harmony for many many years; living off the land which they treated with great reverence because it provided all their food. They also had great respect for the animal kingdom. They were never wasteful; giving constant thanks to the great spirit who, they believed, watched over them and provided for them abundantly. They believed in sharing their bounty with one another, and this they did frequently with great ceremony. Then one fateful day, the first group of yellow chilepeppers arrived from a foreign shore. At first there was a mutual understanding between the newcomers and the indigenous people. The red chilepeppers were very helpful in assisting the newcomers to adapt to their new surroundings. In return, they were given trinkets that sparkled, such as colored glass beads, hand mirrors and such, the like of which they'd never set eyes on before. The red chilepeppers were an innocent people, really quite primitive compared to the sophisticated so-called civilized newcomers who, incidentally, were very quick to take advantage of the childlike trust the red chilepeppers displayed in their early contacts. They moved quickly to take full advantage of these simple trustful souls. And as more and more yellow chilepeppers arrived, they moved across the country taking whatever land they needed without any regard for the previous occupants. This lead to much fighting and eventual total conquest of the red chilepeppers who were forced to give up their beautiful lands and moved to less desirable areas. This broke their spirit, for they were once a very proud people—roaming at will the vast prairies and forests. And to this day they remain second-class citizens, really. Never able to assimilate into the world of the yellow chilepeppers, nor ever able to return to the total freedom they once knew."

"That has to be the saddest story I've ever heard," said Elephant. "Those yellow chilepeppers are just rotten dogs! How could they treat their fellow chilepeppers that way just because they were red instead of yellow?"

"I assume that they were uncomfortable with people who they considered 'different,'" answered Ozma. "Also, they wanted the best land for themselves."

"Anyway, that's not all," continued Tweaty. "After they took those lush lands away from the rightful owners, they desecrated much of it over the years, seeing it only as something to take from and to pour harsh chemicals into for various reasons of their own. The red chilepeppers had always blessed the land, given it thanks for its bounty and replenished it when they took from it. Yet the yellow chilepeppers considered them primitive and savage. And that's still not all! The green chilepeppers went on to tell me about the treatment that they received at the hands of the yellow chilepeppers. It seems that they also lived in a land of their own far away across the Nonestic Ocean. One day a group of yellow chilepeppers, who were visiting the area in their ship, came ashore and captured some of them and took them back to Chilepepperland and sold them to plantation owners in the southern part of Chilepepperland …"

"Oh, come on!" said Nibbles, who had been very silent all this time.
"You can't sell people."

"In those days you could," Tweaty responded. "At least, according to the green chilepeppers I talked to. They not only sold the people they captured as slaves, but they went back again and again to capture more green chilepeppers and sold them, too. And by the way, a lot of the green chilepeppers died in the terrible voyage en route."

"But how could the leaders of the yellow chilepeppers allow this to happen?" asked Ozma. "I would never allow even an unkind remark to pass between them if I were their leader. And I would have made the yellow chilepeppers take the green chilepeppers back to their own people immediately."

"Well, as a matter of fact," continued Tweaty, "the yellow chilepeppers' leader lived in the north, and he thought very poorly of this arrangement. A lot of other people agreed with him, and he abolished slavery forever from the land. But it caused the yellow chilepeppers to fight among themselves and, to this day, some yellow chilepeppers still do not consider the green chilepeppers to be equal in status to themselves—and can be quite discriminating in their treatment of them. That is, when they can get away with it. They even confine them economically and socially to areas that are less desirable to live. Quite naturally, this causes great resentment among many of the green chilepeppers and sometimes their anger is unleashed in unfortunate ways. This in turn causes an even greater chasm between the two groups."

"How terrible!" Elephant said. "Chilepepperland sounds like a horrible place to live! I hope I never even have to visit there."

"It sounds to me," said Ozma, "that if every single chilepepper who lives in Chilepepperland really wanted to, they could live in Peace and Love and Harmony alongside each other forever and ever. And then it would be a perfectly wonderful place to live."

"The problem as I see it," said Hootsey, looking as wise as he could, "is that for every chilepepper of whatever color whose heart is filled with love and kindness for his fellows, there are probably several who cannot generate those feelings within themselves. So I predict that the unfortunate state of affairs in that dark land will continue for quite some time to come. It's a very negative prognosis, I know. But the accumulated wisdom I have acquired over many years tells me that this is so."

"I know one thing," said Lisa. "The people who live in the land where Dorothy comes from are much too intelligent to allow such foolishness to exist there."

The other members of the little group turned to each other knowingly, and slowly shook their heads. For they knew that the unfortunate fact of the matter was that the land where Dorothy came from had had a similar history. In fact, even as I write these words, there are people in the mortal lands who have lost their homes and all of their worldly possessions, and many, their lives, simply because they had the misfortune to be born different in some way than their neighbors.

Everyone became very quiet as he assimilated all that had been said. Ozma spoke first. "I would like to read, if I may, a poem from a little book given to me by a dear friend. I was reminded of this poem when Tweaty spoke of the difficulties the green chilepepper people encountered. The poem was written by a mortal human named William Blake. It is called The Little Black Boy."

_My mother bore me in the southern wild
And I am black, but O my soul is white
White as an angel is the English child
But I am black, as if bereaved of light.

My mother taught me underneath a tree,
And, sitting down before the heat of the day,
She took me on her lap and kissed me,
And, pointing to the East, began to say:

"Look on the rising sun: there God does live,
And gives His light, and gives His heat away,
And flowers and trees and beasts and men receive
Comfort in the morning, joy in the noonday.

"And we are put on Earth a little space
That we may learn to bear the beams of love;
And these black bodies and this sunburnt face
Are but a cloud, and like a shady grove.

"For, when our souls have learned the heat to bear,
The cloud will vanish, we shall hear His voice,
Saying, 'Come out from the grove, my love and care,
And round my golden tent like lambs rejoice.'"

Thus did my mother say, and kissed me,
And thus I say to the little English boy.
When I from black, and he from white cloud free.
And round the tent of God like lambs we joy,

I'll shade him from the heat 'til he can bear
To lean in joy upon our Father's knee;
And then I'll stand and stroke his silver hair,
And be like him, and he will then love me._

By the time Ozma had read the last line, tears were streaming down everyone's face.

"That is the most beautiful poem I have ever heard…" Elephant sobbed, as Tweaty dabbed his eyes with a tailfeather, "…and so very sad that it will take so long for True Love to exist between all peoples. Only when they realize that in the ultimate sense there is no difference between them."

The story of the chilepeppers and the poem by William Blake left everyone in a very somber mood. But Time was not standing still, and you can be sure that that mean-spirited old spider-monster was not letting any grass grow under his feet. Even now he was no doubt growing stronger by the minute by sucking strength and courage out of any victim who had been unfortunate enough to be caught in his deadly web.

"We must be on our way," Ozma said, shivering slightly. "Elephant, why don't we all ride on you, and we'll talk as we go along and plan our strategy."

"Good idea," Elephant answered, picking Ozma up again.

Meanwhile, Tweaty and the owls flew up and perched on Elephant's head. Elephant then lowered his trunk to allow Nibbles to jump aboard and be lifted up behind Ozma.

"Okay, every one!" shouted Elephant as he raised his trunk high in the air and let out a great trump which just about blew everyone off his back. He then proceeded to waddle down the road making trumping sounds that sounded suspiciously like a trombone playing the bass part to When the Saints go marching in. In fact, pretty soon everyone was singing along—

Oh when the saints
Go mar chin' in.
When the saints go marchin' in.
Lord, I want to be in that number,
When the saints go marchin' in…

[Illustration: Sniffer and Stinkfoot arguing.]

CHAPTER 8

THE JOURNEY TOWARD THE SNIFFER NATION

"As I see it," said Lisa as they traveled along, "there is at least one major difference between the problems in the Sniffer Nation and the problems of Chilepepperland. The Chilepeppers, so far as I can determine, are different from one another only in their viewpoints. Some may have had a better education than others, but all were born essentially equal. On the other hand, even if they were born equal, the Sniffer citizens have a real physical reason for their disagreement with the Stinkfoots. If you will forgive my saying so, I cannot believe that either group is necessarily better or more important than the other. It's just that they are physically unable to co-exist."

"As much as it pains me to say it," replied the Sniffer citizen, "I have to agree. After all, the Stinkfoot people used to get along fine with my people, so long as we kept our distance from one another. Now that the Stinkfoots are infringing on our territory, we are forced to take action against them despite our former friendship. But there simply is no alternative. They are taking away our homeland, and pushing us away. There is no other option but to push them back."

"It is a real problem when one specie overcrowds its territory," added Hootsey. "It must pave away all other life forms to further supply its own needs."

"But no one has the right to crowd out what Nature has already established," said Elephant. "Just imagine the chaos it would create if, say, the human race were to become so plentiful that it was leveling rain forests and wiping out all other forms of life to make room for itself."

"That would be terrible," agreed Hootsey. "And it is exactly what the Stinkfoots are doing. Once they have pushed the Sniffers into either isolation or extinction, they may continue to outgrow the territory they occupy and move into other regions where they will do even more damage."

"They have to be stopped at any cost," said the Sniffer man.

"No," said Ozma. "Not at any cost. Even though they are doing bad, they are still counted among my subjects. They are not enemies to Oz, and I will not have them entirely devastated. Our plan has to be fair to both sides, not just one. As we have said, neither side is better than the other. You yourself agreed. We can't allow either race to be lost in favor of the other. That would upset the balance of Nature."

"But how else can we stop them from expanding to wherever they like?" asked the Sniffer citizen.

"There has to be a fair way to settle the dispute," replied the little
Queen. "And it is up to us to find it."

"What if we forbade them from eating any more stinkweeds?" suggested Nibbles. "That way, they wouldn't smell so bad, and the Sniffers would have no further trouble with them. Also, they would no longer need to be living in an area that would help the stinkweeds grow."

"You heard the letter," answered Lisa. "They won't agree to that. They like the smell that they get from the weeds, and they believe it will prevent anyone attacking them. They would never go along with that plan."

"We're almost there" sighed the Sniffer citizen. "But we are no closer to an agreement. What can we do?"

"I intend to speak with your President," replied Ozma. "And I will also meet with the Stinkfoot President."

Ozma and the Lunechien party of five was greeted at the border of the Sniffer Nation by President Humongous Schnozzle himself. Indeed, he must have had the largest nose that Ozma had ever seen. It was longer than that of Elephant! "Probisquous!" he said joyfully. "You're back! And you have brought an army with you!"

"Hello, Mr. President," said the Sniffer messenger. "This is Queen Ozma of Oz and with her are Elephant, Lisa, Hootsey, Tweaty and Nibbles from the Lunechien Forest of Oz. I have told them of our plight, and they have come to try and help."

"And not a moment too soon," said President Schnozzle. "The Stinkfoots have sent me another letter. This time, they are threatening to burn down our village if we do not surrender immediately, I hope that your small army is prepared to stand up to them."

"I did not come to fight," said Ozma with a firmness that surprised even her. "I want to see the two sides come to an arrangement. If that is not possible, we may then have to resort to stronger measures."

"I'm afraid that the Stinkfoots are beyond reasoning," sighed President
Schnozzle. "The only recourse we have is to fight fire with fire."

Ozma could see that the Sniffer President was not going to deviate from his present frame of mind without a struggle. "I do understand your position and I sympathize with your feelings," she said. "However, before anyone does anything rash, I wish to speak to President McFoot."

"Then I suggest that you hold your nose," replied Schnozzle. "Otherwise, you'll be overwhelmed by the stench and probably pass out."

"I'll take that chance," said the little Queen. "Just give me an hour to talk to Mr. McFoot before you start any uprising."

"I will give you all the time you want," replied the Sniffer President. "At least, from my side. But if those stinkers start anything, you'd better believe that I will not sit doggo and let them destroy our homes."

"Fair enough," said Ozma. She then followed Probisquous to the edge of the Stinkfoot Nation. "I can't take you any further," he said. "My eyes are already starting to water. I hope you can handle the stinkiness from this point onward. It gets worse the closer you come to those guys."

Ozma thanked him and went on her way. Indeed, the smell was a potent one. She could see why it would ward off any potential attackers. She tried to hold her breath, but that was not something she could do indefinitely. She tried holding her nose and breathing with her mouth, but that was hardly a dignified pose for the Queen of all Oz. When the stench became absolutely unbearable, she found herself face to face with a little boy who sported the tiniest nose she could have imagined. It was about the same size as that of a ladybug. His feet, on the other hand, were enormous. "Who are you?" asked the lad.

"I amb Queen Ozba of Oz," she said with some difficulty. "I amb here to visit with President Stinky McFoot of the Stinkfoot Nation."

"I thought your nose was too small to make you a Sniffer," he said. "But it is sure a lot bigger than any Stinkfoot's. Hey, why are you holding it like that?"

"I'mb afraid that I'mb having a hard time dealing with the sbell of the stinkweeds," she explained, not wanting to hurt the boy's feelings by mentioning his feet, which Ozma felt certain were the real source of the offensive smell. She believed that it would be better to avoid any statement that might be taken as a gesture of insult.

"The stinkweeds?" replied the boy. "But they are delicious. They are our primary food."

This was not going very well, and the little Queen was already feeling nauseated by the stench. She would not be able to take much time explaining her situation before she became physically ill. This proposed a problem, as she had never known illness to exist in Oz. Still, it was a matter that would require a bit of research. "I bust see your President," she sniffled uneasily. "Can you take be to himb?"

"Of course," said the boy simply, taking a handful of the stinkweeds and eating it. "I can take you to his mansion, anyway. I don't know if he'll want to talk. He is preparing to fight the Sniffers for control of the fertile lands, and is very busy with that right now."

"That's just the thing," said Ozma. "I need to discuss that batter with himb."

"Well," said the boy, "you are the Queen. Follow me."

Ozma followed the lad as quickly as she could under the circumstances. The smell only grew more pungent with each step. It was overpowering. But she knew that she had to help the two rivals to come to an arrangement quickly, as the Forest Monster could be doing nearly anything at this point, and she was losing valuable time. She wished that she had sent the forest animals on to speak to the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs without her, but she knew in her heart that such an act might well have endangered her new friends. If she were not with the animals, the Light Bulbs might well have attacked them. No, this was all she could do. She only hoped that she had not chosen the wrong skirmish to settle first.

When she came to the mansion of President Stinky McFoot, she saw that it was expansive. It was a good sixteen acres wide, and had more rooms than any one man could possibly make use of. She hurriedly knocked on the heavy oak door.

Her knock was answered by a Stinkfoot who was dressed as a butler.
"Yes?" he said to her.

"I amb Queen Ozba of Oz," she explained. "I amb here to speak to the
President."

"Queen Ozba of Oz?" replied the butler. "But you are just a child. How can you be the queen of anything? Except possibly a toy box."

"I amb Queen Ozba!" she said. "I amb serious! I bean it!"

"Okay," chuckled the Stinkfoot. "I'll play along for a moment. If you are the Queen of Oz, what is it you wish to speak to President McFoot about?"

"He is planning a war with the Sniffer Nation," said the Queen. "I want to try to find a better way for your people to solve your differences."

"That is very touching," laughed the butler. "But if you were really the Queen of Oz, you would surely know that the matter is already settled. The Sniffer-snuffers will have to let us have the land we need to survive, and that is all there is to it. Now, go home little girl. We have a lot to attend to, and there really isn't any time for your games."

"But I amb really the Queen!" objected she.

"Yes," said the butler, "and I am Charles Dickens. My wife is the Queen of England. Now do run along." He shut the door before Ozma had a chance to say anything more.

"This is not going at all as I planned," sighed Ozma. But the pungent odor was already more than she could take, and she knew that she must get to some fresh air immediately if she was to be of any practical use to either the Sniffers or the denizens of the Lunechien Forest. Dejectedly, she returned to the Sniffer Nation. She was gasping for air by the time she arrived there, and so she breathed in several lungfuls of the cleaner, purer stuff. It was a treat that she was grateful for.

"So what did Stinky McStink have to say?" President Schnozzle asked Ozma upon her return.

"I did not get in to see Mr. McFoot," said Ozma sourly. "But I sure did get a noseful of your immediate problem."

"Our immediate problem is the fact that a bunch of people with stinky-feet are planning to attack and burn our village to the ground. I am sorry, Your Majesty, but we are left with no other recourse but to go to war with them and destroy them all before they do it to us. Surely you can see that they are unreasonable and unkind and un-un—well, a bunch of other words that start with 'un.' We can't allow them to UN-ify us if we can help it, and we Sniffers are a proud people who will not give in without a fight!"

"President Schnozzle," sighed Ozma. "I am not trying to belittle you or your pride. I just don't think that resorting to violence is the way to deal with any situation. It only leads to misery for both sides."

"Not if we win," replied the President.

"In times of war," said Lisa, "there are no winners." The hoot-owl had stayed back with the four Lunechien animals at the Sniffer President's modest home, and was also a little disappointed at Ozma's failure to speak to the Stinkfoot leader. So much had been riding on this meeting.

But Ozma had not gotten in to see him, and the simple fact remained that they were no closer to a solution than they had been before.

"Maybe we need those Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs right here," suggested
Nibbles. "Then the Stinkfoots would be too scared to start a fight."