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SOLD BY DRUGGISTS.
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Sole Agents for the United States and Canada.


SATURDAY, APRIL 2, 1870.

PUBLISHED BY THE
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY,

AT THEIR OFFICE, 83 NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK.


APPLICATIONS FOR ADVERTISING IN

"PUNCHINELLO"

SHOULD BE ADDRESSED TO

J. NICKINSON,

Room No. 4,

83 NASSAU STREET.

ART PRINCIPLES.

THE AMERICAN DRAWING BOOK,

BY J.G. CHAPMAN, N.A.

A manual for the Amateur, and Basis of study for theProfessionalArtist. Adapted for schools and Private Instruction.

Price, $6.

To be had of dealers, or from the Publishers, by mailpost-paidon receipt of price.

A.S. BARNES & CO.,

111 and 113 William. Street, New-York.

Mercantile Library,

Clinton Hall, Astor Place

New-York.

This is now the largest circulating Library In America, thenumber of volumes on its shelves being 114,000. About1000 volumes are added each month; and very large purchasesare made of all new and popular works.

Books are delivered at members' residences for five cents eachdelivery.

TERMS OF MEMBERSHIP:

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BRANCH OFFICES

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AND AT

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THE COLLINS

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Also, Jewelry of every kind, equal to gold, at one tenth theprice.

"The goods of C.E. Collins & Co. have invariably givensatisfaction."—N.Y. Times.

"One of the $20 watches is worn in our office, and we haveno hesitation in recommending them."—Pomeroy's Democrat.

TO CLUBS.

Where Six Watches are ordered at one time, we send aSeventh Watch free.

Goods sent by express to all parts of the United States, tobe paid for on delivery.

C.E. COLLINS & CO.,

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PUNCHINELLO.

With a large and varied experience in the management andpublication of a paper of the class herewith submitted, and withthe still more positive advantage of an Ample Capital to justifythe undertaking, the

PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.

OF THE CITY OF NEW-YORK,

Presents to the public for approval, the

NEW ILLUSTRATED HUMOROUS AND SATIRICAL

WEEKLY PAPER,

PUNCHINELLO,

The first number of which will be issued under date of April2,1870, and thereafter weekly.

PUNCHINELLO will be National, and not local;and willendeavor to become a household word in all parts of the country;and to that end has secured a

VALUABLE CORPS OF CONTRIBUTORS

in various sections of the Union, while its columns willalways beopen to appropriate first-class literary and artistic talent.

PUNCHINELLO will be entirely original; humorous and witty,withoutvulgarity, and satirical without malice. It will be printed on asuperior tinted paper of sixteen pages, size 13 by 9, and will be forsale by all respectable newsdealers who have the judgment to know agoodthing when they see it, or by subscription from this office.

The Artistic department will be in charge of Henry L.Stephens, whosecelebrated cartoons in VANITY FAIR placed him in the front rank ofhumorous artists, assisted by leading arists in their respectivespecialties.

The management of the paper will be in the hands of WILLIAM A.STEPHENS,with whom is associated CHARLES DAWSON SHANLY, both of whom wereidentified with VANITY FAIR.

ORIGINAL ARTICLES,

Suitable for the paper, and Original Designs, or suggestiveideasor sketches for illustrations, upon the topics of the day, arealways acceptable, and will be paid for liberally.

Rejected communications can not be returned, unless postagestamps are inclosed.

TERMS:

One copy, per year, in advance $4.00

Single copies, ten cents.

A specimen copy will be mailed free upon the receipt of tencents.

One copy, with the Riverside Magazine, or any othermagazine or paper, price $2.50, for 5.50

One copy, with any magazine or paper, price $4, for 7.00

All communications, remittances, etc., to be addressed to

PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.,

No. 83 Nassau Street

NEW-YORK

P.O. Box, 2783.

(For terms to Clubs, see 16th page.)

Thomas J. Rayner & Co.,

29 LIBERTY STREET,
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MANUFACTURERS OF THE

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BELMONT HOTEL.

J.P. RICHARDS, Proprietor.

DINING ROOMS.

Rooms 50c., 75c., and $1 per night.

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NEW-YORK.


Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, bythePUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the DistrictCourt of United States, for the Southern District of New-York.


PUNCHINELLO, Vol. 1. No. 1.

(Suggestion: "Take care of No. 1.")

PUNCHINELLO TO THE PUBLIC, GREETING:

His name, PUNCHINELLO hopes, will not be found a difficult onetoarticulate. He flatters himself that it has a smack of grape-juice andolives about it. It rhymes with "mellow," which naturally brings us to"good fellow.". On occasions PUNCHINELLO can "bellow," cut a"tremendousswell," O, and he never throws away a chance of pocketing the "yellow."He would like to rhyme with "swallow;" but alas! it can not, can not be.

And yet, in spite of (or perhaps on account of) PUNCHINELLO'Smellifluous name, much cavil has been brought to bear upon him.(Prepareto receive cavilry.)

Squadrons of well-meaning persons with speaking-trumpetsmarched to andfro before the sponsors of PUNCHINELLO, each roaring at them to stopsuch a name as that, and attend to his suggestion, andhis only.

One did not like PUNCHINELLO because it means a "littlePunch," andhe—the speaking-trumpeter—liked a great deal; and lo! while he spoke,he changed his trumpet for several horns. Then he was taken with a fitof herpetology in his boots, and sank to advise no more.

Another—a fellow with an infinite fancy for buffominstrelsy—wasvociferous that PUNCHINELLO should be called "Tommy Dodd." Thediscussion upon this lasted for three months; but finally, "Tommy Dodd"was rejected on account of the superfluously aristocratic aroma thatexhaled from the name.

Four divisions of men with banners then came by, each divisionrespectively composed of members of the waning families of Smith,Brown,Jones, and Robinson, and each division bawled and thundered that thename round which it rallied should be adopted instead of PUNCHINELLO,onpain of death.

And thousands of others came with suggestions of a like sort;for whichsome of them wanted "stamps." And when they had all had their say,PUNCHINELLO was called PUNCHINELLO, and nothing else—a name by which hemeans to stand or fall.

And now to business. PUNCHINELLO is not going to define hispositionhere. He refrains from boring his readers with prolix gammon about hisforeign and domestic relations. He will content himself (and readers,hehopes) by briefly mentioning that he has foreign and domestic relationsin every part of the habitable globe, and that they each and allfurnishhim with correspondence of the most reliable and spicy character,regularly and for publication. Among his foreign relations he is happyto reckon M. MEISSONNIER, the celebrated French artist, to whom he isindebted for the original painting from which PUNCHINELLO, as heappearson his own title-page, is taken.

A preface is not the place in which to enlarge upon topics ofgreathumanitarian interest, political importance, or social progress.PUNCHINELLO will merely touch a few of such matters, then, and thesewith a light finger. (No allusion, here, to the "light-fingeredgentry,"for whom PUNCHINELLO keeps a large grape vine in pickle.)

PUNCHINELLO observes the incipient tendency to return tospeciepayments. To this revival, however, he is not as yet prepared to givehis adhesion, though, on the whole, he considers it preferable torelapsing fever, which is also noted on 'Change. Cuba shall have herdueshare of attention from him. And if She-Cuba, (Queen of the Antilles,you know,) why not also He-Cuba?—lovely and preposterous woman, who,from her eagerness to slip on certain habiliments that are masculine,but shall here be nameless, shall henceforth be appropriatelydistinguished by that name.

Let other important topics take care of themselves.PUNCHINELLO willonly add that he would at any time rather suspend the public plunderersthan habeas corpus, and that he means to take the gloss off thegrimjoke that "Hanging for murder's played out in New-York."

It is pleasant for PUNCHINELLO to draw the attention of hisreaders tothe fact that this, his First Number, is dated April 2d—the day afterAll Fools' Day. This is cheering; since thus it is manifest thatPUNCHINELLO leaves all the fools and jesters behind, and is, therefore,first in the race for the crown of comic laurel and the quiver ofsatiric shafts.

And now, by DAN PHOEBUS!—that's the DAN (ah!) that drives the Sun,youknow, and is the biggest spot upon it—here we find that we have talkedourself all the way to DELMONICO'S, and there's CHARLEY on the lookout.

Punchinello: "Good evening, Mr. DELMONICO; have you anyroom for us?"

Delmonico: "You are very welcome, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, andyour rooms arequite ready; for we have been expecting you ever so long. Of course,your staff of artists can be accommodated in our Drawing-room, if youwill permit me to throw off so insignificant a joke."

Punchinello: "Tut, CHARLES!—'tis a joke of the firstwater, (firstbrandy-and-water, CHARLES.) Cap your joke with another as good, andthenconsider yourself on our staff. Lead us to our apartments, CHARLES."

And so, looking from his pleasant Fifth Avenue windows,PUNCHINELLOwaves a salutation to his audience with a "May you be happy, each andall of you, and live all your days in clover," (admission ten cents.)


PUNCHINELLO'S NEW CHARTER.

THE GREAT PLATFORM OF THE RINGS.

The Lions and the Lambs lie downtogether,
While the "Sun" stands still.

The People of the State of New-York, represented byPUNCHINELLO and histroop of admirers, hereby enact:

§ 1. All the offices now provided by law withwithin the City and Countyof New-York, shall be put in a grand grab-bag;

§ 2. It shall be the duty of the Commissioners ofthe Central Park todevote said Park, on the Fourth day of July next, to the erection ofpoles (or polls) for the purpose of enabling voters to grab from thegrab-bag.

§ 3. HORACE GREELEY, PETER COOPER, the Rev. Dr.THOMPSON, DANIEL DREW,and REDDY THE BLACKSMITH, are hereby constituted Inspectors andCanvassers for the grabbers.

§ 4. It shall be the duty of the said inspectorsto prepare aregistry-list of all the persons intending to grab, who are required toserve a notice of intention through the post-office upon REDDY THEBLACKSMITH, the Chairman. DANIEL DREW is to provide funds wherewith topay the postage.

§ 5. The registry-list shall be alphabeticallyprepared, and the numberof chances shall be determined by dividing the number of grabbers bythenumber of offices.

§ 6. The grabbers shall be selected by lot.

§ 7. The lots shall be drawn by REDDY THEBLACKSMITH from his own hat,his eyes wide open, while every other inspector, and the voters, shallbe blindfolded with newspapers from the files of the Christian Union;whereupon, as the names of the fortunate grabbers are called, each oneshall proceed to the grab-bag and grab his office.

§ 8. There shall be no repeaters of the process.

§ 9. The persons thus grabbing offices shall bethen and there, by theInspectors, declared duly elected to the offices grabbed, for life.

§ 10. Any vacancy occurring by assassination shallbe immediately filledby the Inspectors appointing the assassin.

§ 11. Every person owning real estate on theIsland shall contribute oneninety-ninth part of his income to the said grab-bag. On the followingChristmas, in the presence of the grab income-bents of offices, theInspectors shall proceed to divide the proceeds of these taxablecontributions, and one half of these proceeds shall be equally dividedamong the grab income-bents of offices. The other half shall be devotedto paving every conceivable surface of the city with wooden pavement.

§ 12. Owners of real estate in the city of NewYork are hereby allowedto make their own arrangements with the gas companies for the supply oflight; but nothing herein shall be construed to devote any part of theproceeds to light the public streets at night and real estate ownersshall be allowed to make their own arrangements for the supply of waterwith the grab income-bents of the Croton Grab Board.

§ 13. The sewers of the city shall be converted toburial places forpersons assassinated at political meetings.

§ 14. Nothing herein contained shall be soconstrued as to permit anyjudge to grant an injunction against any grabbers of the offices.

§ 15. The "dead-beats," heretofore known aspolicemen and soldiers ofthe first division, are hereby legislated out of office, and it shallbea felony punishable with assassination for any one to go unarmed with asix-shooter.

§ 16. All provisions of the United States or Stateconstitutionsinconsistent with the above provisions are hereby repealed.


From Gertrude of Wyoming.

Because a jury-mast is a makeshift for a lost spar, it doesnotfollow that a jury-woman is a make-shift for any body. In fact, thewomen who sit upon juries are not the sort of women who personallysupply the family linen.


SURE TO BE LOST AT C.—Signor LEFRANC's voice, if hecontinues torecklessly strain it with his chest C.


HINTS FOR THE FAMILY.

As it is intended that the mission of PUNCHINELLO shall beextended intoall circles of society, that of the family shall not be neglected.Everyother weekly journal abounds in wise domestic counsels, apt recipes,cunning plans, and helpful patterns of all sorts; and PUNCHINELLO,intending to offer the most advantages, expects to become so necessaryto the economical housewife and the prudent bread-winner that no familywill be able to do without him. So, with no further prologue, we willpresent our readers with some valuable hints in regard to the use thatcan be made of things that often lie about the house gatheringdust—idle clutter and of no service to any body. The first hint, weknow, if followed up, will be found of the greatest advantage to all,yielding great measure of convenience at little cost. Take a wideboard—as wide as you can get it—and as long as it will cut withoutcracks or knotholes, and saw the ends off square. Then bore four largeholes in the corners, and insert the ends of four sticks, each aboutthree feet long. Place it upon the floor, so that the board will besupported by the sticks, thus:

This contrivance will be found very useful for variouspurposes. It willdo to put books upon, to write upon, to iron clothes upon, and for anyother purpose where it is considered desirable to support householdobjects at a distance from the floor. One of its chief advantages is toserve as a receptacle for the food of a family during meals. If on suchoccasions it be covered with a white linen or cotton cloth, itsappearance will be much improved, and in time it can not fail to becomea favorite article of furniture.

The next hint will please the ladies. Take two pieces ofcotton orwoolen cloth, of any size from two inches to a foot square, and sewthemtogether at the edges, leaving, however, a small place unsewed at onecorner. You will now find that you have something like a square bag.This is to be tightly filled with wool, bran, mowings, clippings ofhuman hair, or something of the kind, and the open corner is then to besewed up. When finished, the affair will assume this appearance andwillbe found very useful for the preservation of pins. The manner of usingit is as follows: you take the pin in the hand and firmly press it intothe bag, when it will be found that the body of the pin will easilyenter, but that the head will prevent its entire disappearance. Thestuffing of the bag will retain the pin in its position until a slightdegree of force is used to withdraw it. With the use of this ingeniouslittle contrivance, pins can be kept in safety with the points alwayshidden and their heads exposed to view. It will be found much moreeconomical and convenient than the plan of carrying pins loose in thepocket, and eventually will be generally adopted, we think. The top andcorners can be ornamented à discrétion.

Hint the third is especially addressed to country families.Take one ofthe ordinary toilet-tables that are to be found in so many ruralhabitations, and, on removing the white cover, you will probably findthat the table is formed of an empty flour-barrel with a board nailedontop of it. Remove this board; get a head from another barrel of thesamesize; place it properly upon the top; put some good hoops around theends, nail it all up tightly, and you will find that you will have avery good barrel.


Founded upon Fact.

Why is BRENTANO like a hardware man?

Because he keeps Tomahawks for sale.


Definition by an Envious Wood-Engraver.

ZINCALI—Artists who draw on zinc plates.


AN AGGRAVATED CASE.

Man with Muffler. "IT ISN'T THE FACT OF THE SORE THROATI MIND SO MUCHAS THE SUSPICION THAT I CAUGHT IT FROM THAT BEASTLY SNOB, BURLAPS, WHOOCCUPIES THE ROOMS OPPOSITE."


Truly Noble.

We have been requested to publish the following letter:

NEW-YORK, March 1, 1870.

TO THE PATRIOTS HAVING CHARGE OF THE MONUMENT TO VICTOR NOIR:

GENTLEMEN: I honor the brave! I am of America, American! Iimport frombleeding France her brandy, her champagne, her claret, her olives, andher sardines. I dispose of them at 1108 Lispenard street, New-York,where my peculiar facilities enable me to offer unusual inducements tothe trade! I am with you and against tyrants! Vive la freedom!Iinclose seven francs as a contribution to the monument! D.E.D. BEHTE.


Perennius Ære.

In view of the recent long and luminous discourse by adistinguishedUnited States Senator upon the subject of the funding bill, it isrespectfully suggested that a part of the amount to be saved to thenation by this financial scheme shall be devoted to the erection of a"palace lifting to eternal SUMNER!"


A Question for Ben Butler's Nurse.

Was the honorable member from Massachusetts reallyborn with a silverspoon in his mouth?


The Witch and the Switch.

Fashionable women are like the conventionalschool-mistress—theybelieve in the switch.


Naughty.

When did the people send a cipher to the State Senate? Whenthey sentNORT-on there.


THE MARINER'S WRONGS.

Within the memories of men who are not yet old, the sailor wasalwayslooked upon and talked about as "a jolly dog." There was a glamour ofromance about him when he was at sea, and "JACK ashore" was for agesheld up as the presentment of all that was happy, and contented, andfree from care. His hardest duty was supposed to be shinning up theratlin to "reef," or "brail up," or "splice the mainbrace," or do someother of those mysterious things that caused him to look so mythical tothe minds of land-lubbers and the simple-hearted kind of women thatusedto be, but now no longer are. His lighter hours (about eighteen out ofthe twenty-four) were passed in terpsichorean performances on the"fo'k'sl," and were so fascinating to the shorey mind that music wasspecially composed for them, and the "Sailor's Hornpipe" is one of thescourges inflicted upon mortals, for their sins, by barrel-organists atthe present day. Grog was dealt out to him by the gallon, and, as for"backy," the light-hearted fellow was never allowed to suffer for wantof that; so that his happiness may be said to have beencomplete.

Things are sadly changed, now, with regard to poor JACK. Everyday weread of outrageous assaults upon him with marline-spikes and otherperverted marine stores, by brutal skippers and flagitious mates, whoseproper end would be the yard-arm and the rope's end. All belaying-pinand no pay has made JACK a dull boy. His windpipe refuses to furnishthewhilom exhilarating tooraloo for his hornpipe. Silent are the "yarns"with which he used to while away the time when off his watch andhuddling under the lee of the capstan with his messmates. And then,whenhe comes ashore, it is only to be devoured by the sharks that lie inwait for him and drag him away bodily to their obscene "boarding-house"dens.

Once on a time JACK, when in dock, used to make holiday of iton Sunday.He looked as gay as a tobacconist's sign when rigged out in his bestblue for a lark ashore, where he was occasionally to be seen onhorseback with a row of his jovial messmates, all of them sitting withtheir backs to the horse's head, and the sternmost of them steering thebewildered animal by his tail. Now there seems to be a movement to cutoff from JACK even the holiday to which he is surely entitled. Thecaptain of a bark, lying at San Francisco, has lately stopped wages, tothe amount of sixty-five dollars, from a seaman, because the latterrefused to assist in discharging cargo on Sunday. Blue has, in onesense, always been JACK's favorite color; but if this sort of thinggoeson much further, he must become bluer than ever, and his cheerlesscondition will be such that he will not have a cheer left to shake thewelkin with when he helps to man the yards.


Postal.

Frankly speaking, can Senator REVEL's letters be called Blackmail?


Propagandism.

Ancient Rome was saved by a proper goose; modern Rome by apropergander.


The Sheriff's party tell us that they are always "watch"ful intheinterest of the tax-payers. So they should be, for don't they own themost "repeaters"?


The Plays and Shows.

HAMLET—WITH A YELLOW WIG.

poet—hisname is of no consequence—has defined the eveningas

"The close of the day when the HAMLET is still."

Evidently he was a bucolic, and not a metropolitan poet.Otherwise hewould have remembered that the close of the day, or, to speak withmathematical accuracy, the hour of eight P.M., is precisely the timewhen the HAMLET of a well-regulated theatrical community begins to makehimself vocally prominent. A few nights since, we had no less thanthreeHAMLETS propounding at the same time the unnecessary question, whetherto be or not to be is the correct thing. The serious HAMLET of theeagleeye, and the burlesque HAMLET of the vulpine nose, are with us yet; butthe rival of the latter, the HAMLET of the taurine neck, has gone toBoston, where his wiggish peculiarity will he better appreciated thanitwas in this Democratic city.

The late Mr. WEGG prided himself upon being a literaryman—with awooden leg. Mr. FECHTER aspires to be a HAMLET—with a yellow wig. Mr.WEGG had this advantage over Mr. FECHTER, that his literary ability didnot wholly depend upon his ligneous leg. Mr. FECHTER'S HAMLET, on thecontrary, owes its existence solely to his wig. The key to hispopularity must he sought in his yellow locks.

There are, it is true, meritorious points in Mr. FECHTER'SDane. One ishis skill in fencing; another, the fact that he finally suffers himselfto be killed. Unfortunately, this latter redeeming incident takes placeonly in the last scene of the play, and the Fat Prince has thereforeabundant previous opportunity to mar the superb acting of MissLECLERCQ.Why this admirable artist did not insist that her OPHELIA shouldreceivea better support than was furnished by Messrs. BANGS, LEVICK, andFECHTER, at Niblo's Garden, is an insoluble mystery. She must haveperceived the absurdity of drowning herself for a Prince—fair, fat, andfaulty—who refused to give her a share of his "loaf," and denied, withan evident eye to a possible breach of promise suit, that he had givenher any "bresents."

That Mr. FECHTER speaks English imperfectly is, however, theleast ofhis defects. If he could not speak at all, his audience would havereason for self-congratulation. We might, too, forget that he is anobese, round-shouldered, short-necked, and eminently beery HAMLET, witha tendency to speak through his nose. But how can we overlook hisincapacity to express the subtle changes of HAMLET'S ever questioningmind? One of his admirers has recently quoted RUSKIN in his support.MR.FECHTER gives no heed to RUSKIN'S axiom, that all true art is delicateart. There is no delicacy in his conception of HAMLET. True, he isimpulsive and sensitive; but this is due to his physical and not to hismental organization. A HAMLET without delicacy is quite as intolerableaspectacle as a Grande Duchesse without decency.

What, then, has given him his reputation? The answer isevident;—Hisyellow wig. NAPOLEON gilded the dome of the Invalides, and theParisians forgot to murmur at the arbitrary acts of his reign. Mr.FECHTER crowns himself with a golden wig, and the public forgets tomurmur at the five acts of his HAMLET.

In all other respects Mr. FECHTER'S HAMLET is inferior to thatof hisrival Mr. FOX. It is not nearly as funny, and it is much lessimpressive. Both actors are wrong, however, in not omitting thegraveyard scene. To make a burlesque of Death is to unlawfully invadethe province of Messrs. BEECHER and FROTHINGHAM.

The popularity of Mr. FECHTER is only a new proof of thepotency ofyellow hair. It is the yellow hair of the British blonde, joined tothatkindliness of disposition with which—like a personification ofCharity—she "bareth all things," that makes her a thing of beauty inthe eyes of R.G.W., and a joy for as many seasons as her hair will keepits color. It is because Mr. FECHTER decided that the hair presumptiveof the Royal Dane must have been yellow, that his name has grown famousin England.

The veracious chronicler relates that, on one occasion, Mr.VENUSdeprived his literary friend with a wooden leg of that usefulappendage.But that act of constructive mayhem did not destroy Mr. WEGG'S literaryreputation. Can MR. FECHTER'S HAMLET endure an analogous test? If hehasconfidence in himself, let him try it. He has gone to BOSTON for achange of air. When he returns to NEW-YORK, let it be for a change ofhair. When he succeeds in drawing full houses to see him play HAMLETwith raven curls, we shall believe that he is something more thansimplya HAMLET—with a yellow wig. Until then we shall be constrained to classhim with the other blonde burlesquers.

MATADOR.


WHAT THE PRESS IS EXPECTED TO SAY OF US.

There is no trash in this paper.—Literary Standard.

PUNCHINELLO is a perfect beauty, and good as beautiful.—Moralist.

—a most suitable companion for our walks and meditations.—Casuist.

PUNCHINELLO pays beautifully.—Cash Account.

—just the thing for our mothers-in-law.—Domestic-Hearth.

—its wisdom and learning are equally remarkable.—CollegeClub.

PUNCHINELLO deserves to be styled A Brick.—Midnight Male.

—the most irreproachable thing going; and every man who doesnot buy acopy for himself, every week, and another for his wife, with one foreach of his children, is a brute.—Plain Speaker.

—bully.—Western Grazier.

—knows beans.—Horticulturist.

—up to snuff.—Market Reporter.

—cock of the walk.—Prairie Chicken.

—perfectly lovely.—Ladies' Voice.

—read it, try to parse it, and then set it to music and singit.—Yankee Teacher.

—the thing we dreamed of, longed for, sighed for, and paidfor.—Public at Large.


A Walking Fish.

The Walk in life of Mr. Secretary of State FISH, consideringhim as aprivate individual, has hitherto been irreproachable. Nevertheless, hiswalk might be much improved by President GRANT, if the latter wouldonlyteach him to Walk Spanish.


"Hole-in-the-Day."

It is stated, though on what authority we are unable to say,that thePhiladelphia Day is printed on straw paper made from thesurplusstraw-hats that formed an item of a notorious government contractnegotiated during the war.


MESMERISM IN WALL STREET.

First Lady Broker, (entrancing subject.) "THERE, I'VEGOT HIM TO THEPOINT NOW.
TAKE HIM AT HIS WORD, QUICK."

Commodore V-nd-rb-lt, (murmurs.) "SELL ME ONE THOUSANDSHARESCENTRAL."

Second Lady Broker. "BOOKED!"


THE BALLAD OF CAPTAIN EYRE,

OF THE PACIFIC AND ORIENTALSTEAMSHIP "BOMBAY."

My name was ARTHUR EYRE, when I sailed,

When I sailed;

My name was ARTHUR EYRE, when I sailed;

My name was ARTHUR EYRE, a true British snob, I swear,

Who for Yankees didn't care, as I sailed.

I'd been taught at 'ome, per'aps, ere I sailed,

Ere I sailed;

I'd been taught at 'ome, per'aps, ere I sailed;

I'd been taught at 'ome, per'aps, that JOHN BULL his fingerssnaps

At the "cussed Yankee chaps," ere I sailed.

So I steered across the seas, as I sailed,

As I sailed;

I steered across the seas, as I sailed;

I steered across the seas, and swilled my hale at hease;

I was master, "if you please," as I sailed.

VICTORIA'S flag I flew, as I sailed,

As I sailed;

VICTORIA'S flag I flew, as I sailed;

VICTORIA'S flag I flew, and wore her colors too,

Like a British sailor true, as I sailed.

Off the shore of far Japan, as I sailed,

As I sailed;

Off the shore of far Japan, as I sailed;

Off the shore of far Japan, I a Yankee ship did scan,

That with helm a-starboard ran, as I sailed.

A curse rose to my lip, as I sailed,

As I sailed;

A curse rose to my lip, as I sailed;

A curse rose to my lip as on the Yankee ship

Through the darkness I did slip, as I sailed.

And I ran the Yankee down, as I sailed,

As I sailed;

And I ran the Yankee down, as I sailed;

Ay, I ran the Yankee down, and I left the dogs to drown,

While to Yokohama town on I sailed.

They say they showed a light, as I sailed,

As I sailed;

They say they showed a light, as I sailed;

They say they showed a light, to tell their hopeless plight,

But "I served them bloody right," as I sailed!

For my name is Captain EYRE, as I sail,

As I sail;

My name is Captain EYRE, as I sail;

For my name is Captain EYRE, and it's d-----d absurd, I swear,

That for Yankees I should care, as I sail!


"Arcades Ambo."

As there seem to be some disorganizing elements just now atwork in theancient and honorable order of the Knights of Pythias, might it not bewell for them to compromise by a fraternal secession of thediscontentedspirits, who could form a kindred order under the title of the Deys ofDamon?


USEFUL MATERIAL FOR FANCY CLOG-DANCERS—Sandal-wood.



March 4, 1869.
A GIANT AMONG THE PIGMIES.

March 4, 1870.
A PIGMY AMONG THE GIANTS.


PUNCHINELLO IN WALL STREET.

hat it is notPUNCHINELLO'S intention to overlook Wallstreet, may beabsolutely taken at par. To look over Wall street is quite anothermatter, and P. knows how to do it to a T. Many a time at midnight, fromhis perch on the tip of the spire of Old Trinity, (a tip-top point fromwhich to look over Wall street—you see the point?) has PUNCHINELLObeheld the ghosts of dead speculations floating hopelessly through themurky air. It could not be said of them that there was "no speculationin those eyes." The ghost of a dead speculation was never so utterlydamned, the eyes of a ghost of a dead speculation were never soabsolutely dimmed, but that speculation of some kind might be discernedfluttering like a mummy-cloth from the shadowy outline of the former,and gleaming feebly from the gloomy goggles of the latter. Gleam on,poor ghosts! Goggle while you may, and gibber. PUNCHINELLO watches youwith interest, (25 per cent.,) as you are weighed down to the very dirtof The Street by the night-fog of Despair, flapping your wings on averysmall "margin," as if attempting vainly to "operate for a rise." Godown, poor ghosts; repair to your incandescent place below, for thereisno hope for you. As we sit here upon our spire, we can not say to you, Dumspiramus speramus. Alas! no. We would like to do so,of course;but our sense of truth revolts against the enunciation of such ataradiddle.

Soon after daylight has been fully turned on, it is the wontofPUNCHINELLO to descend from his perch on the church, (rhyme,) and roamwaywardly and invisibly among the denizens who occupy the dens of TheStreet. He knows all the ins and outs of the place, and has long beendisgustingly familiar with its ups and downs. Gently has he dabbled instocks, and no modern operator is half so conversant an he is with thejuggles of the Stock Exchange. PUNCHINELLO, though as fresh and frisky,in mind and body, as a kid on a June morning, is older than he choosesto let every body know. Bless you all, readers dear! he was by when theTulip Mania was hatched, (mixed figure,) and it was he who puncturedthegreat South Sea Bubble, and sent it on a burst. Ha! ha! he-e-e!--how helaughs when he recurs to those days of the long, long ago, with theirmiserable little swindles, no better than farthing candles, (allowablerhyme,) and their puny dodges devised for flagellating LUCIFER round astump.

Just think of a lot of fellows pretending to play atTulipmaniacsbolting Bubble-and-squeak, and not a jockey among them all had everheard of "puts" and "calls." Deuce a one of them know a "corner" from acockatrice's egg, and if you had mentioned a "scoop" to the mostintelligent of them, he'd have sworn that you had been and gone andswallowed a Scandinavian dictionary. (N.B. In this application the navein Scandinavian might properly be spelt with a k.) Ah! yes, yes:What-d'ye-call him was wide-awake when he remarked to Thingumbob that"the world does move."

How strong the contrast to PUNCHINELLO as he glides,invisible, to andfro among the bulls and bears on 'Change, observing the "moderninstances" of their improved manner of doing business, and taking alltheir devices into the corner of his brightest eye! (The only safe"corner" he knows of on The Street.) How he chuckles as heobservesthe ways of 'em—sees a bear selling that which he hasn't, and a bullbuying that which he doesn't want—all "on a margin" and to "settleregular," of course. Bless you! children of the modern Mammon. Go inandwin, or lose if you find it more exciting. Learn to control finances,ifyou would fain grow to be good men and contribute hereafter good men tothe taxable population. Proceed with your virtuous transactions on'Change. Never mind each other's toes; they who have corns must notcarefor being cornered. (Meant playfully.) Inflate the market with yourheavy purchases. Blow the market, and "corner the shorts." Be a "bear,"if you will; and when you play at "bull," remember the frog in thefable, who would be an ox, and went on inflating until he burst.

You bloated stockmonger there, with your hands in your pocketsand youreye on the mean chance, what care you how much capital is representedbycertificates issued? "That's played out," you say? You know it is, youslimy salamander, and so does PUNCHINELLO. You know that by the use ofconvertible bonds capital can be increased or diminished adinfinitum.Loan your millions to Erie, to save it from destruction or the Sheriff,(synonymous terms,) and you will derive sweet consolation from theconsciousness of your power to add or diminish at will.

Look at the "Great Waterer." When he chose to "snake away"Erie from itsfriends, and make it tributary to New-York Central, the printing-presswas at work—a fact which he did not discover until he had paid out tenmillions. Then the foreigners purchased ream after ream of certificatesto control Erie, and to-day their stock is declared not worth a row ofpins, owing to the piles of money swallowed by the afflictive suits onthe stamped certificates.

Observe SNIGGER and SNAGGER, too; mark the goings and comingsof thesepartners in business and iniquity. How regularly they have keptswearingthat their business never paid, and yet their dividends alwaysincreasedwhen they wished to distribute their stock.

And here is one who—more audacious, far, than King CANUTE ofold—wouldcontrol even the ocean. This man starts a Pacific Mail with a capitaloften millions, increases the amount to twenty millions, and swears it isworth thirty. Then he "puts his foot in it" and shows the knave in hisdeal, (dealings—jocular,) by selling the stock at thirty-five.

This from PUNCHINELLO, as he looks over The Street—and throughit—fromhis lofty pinnacle. Don't strain your precious eyes and necks infruitless endeavors to discover him there, since he can make himselfinvisible at will. But listen, ye men of The Street, with all yourears,(Erie,) and you will hear a solemn chant like unto that of the muezzinfrom the minaret. 'Tis the voice of PUNCHINELLO wafting sonorously fromhis tower the instructive moral—

"Whoe'er sells stocks as isn't his'n,

Must pay up or go to pris'n."


A New Conglomerate Pavement.

It was well said by a saucy Frenchman, "that England had fiftyreligionsbut only one sauce." Paraphrasing this loosely, we may say of New-York,that she has a dozen different pavements and deuce a good one. Therewasthe "Russ," on which the horses used to be "let slide," but couldn'ttrot; the "Belgian," of dubious repute; the "Nicholson," which, fromitsmaterial, must have been invented by "Nick of the Woods;" the"Mouse-trap," set to catch other things than mice; the "Fiske," apavement pitched in altogether too high a key to be pleasant; The"Stafford," the "Stow," and several others which it would be painful toenumerate here. Why doesn't the daily press look lively, and devise abetter pavement than any of these? There's STONE, of the Journal ofCommerce; WOOD, of the News; MARBLE, of the World;and BRICK, ofthe Democrat. Let them put their heads together and give us agoodconglomerate.


A Hopeful Anticipation.

Now that the darkeys are about to take part in nationallegislation, weshall probably be able to negrotiate a postal treaty with France.


On one Drowned.

He left a large circle, etc.!


SYMPATHY WITH CUBA.

Enthusiastic Sympathizer. "What I say is, we musthave our cigars;and therefore, Cuba must be ours."


PUNCHINELLO'S LYRICS.

No. 1.

Ho! I am the jolly repeater,

And I train with the magical band,

Who the legerdemain of the ballot

With the skill of a wizard command.

Once a year every poll I explore,

Honest voting is Greenland to me;

Free suffrage is ever my motto,

To my amnesty judges agree.

The trickster inspector I loathe, sir!

Or the canvasser's pencils that thieve;

Voting early and often is nobler

Than ballots to change from one's sleeve.

No eight hours' labor I ask for,

Votes from sunrise to sunset I cast;

They are bread on political waters,

And my sinecures follow them fast.

WILLIAM B. and his millionaire crew

Will only vote once, sir; while I

(Who to scorn laugh the honest assessors)

Plump a score to their one—on the sly!

Who asks for my name? I repeat it—

Ho! the jolly repeater am I;

Each book of the registry knows me,

And I'm now in the market—Who'll buy?

(The above may be sung da capo, which is Italian for"repeat.")


Music and Morals in Chicago.

The Marriage of Figaro did not interest the Chicagopeople when it wasproduced in that peculiar city. Had it been called the "Divorce ofFigaro," it would have aroused their warmest admiration.


MR. GREELEY'S AIDS TO LITERARY EFFORT.

On the general principle that "no one is a hero to his valet,"not evena valetudinarian, it may be safely asserted that the divinity that dothhedge most great writers is lost the moment their admirers becomeacquainted with their habits of thought and methods of composition. Thepopular delusion that H.G. "knows every thing" is calculated to workindefinite injury to some modest men who are supposed to "knowsomething." GREELEY'S mind, like a camera obscura, may be saidtoretain its impressions while in the dark, and to lose them when exposedto the light. He has never, to any extent, heeded the scripturalinjunction against walking in darkness, which explains why so many Tribunereaders are in the dark concerning the truth andjustice ofpopular questions. Consequently, as in the case of other great men,whenGREELEY'S mind becomes pregnant with a theme, moved to pity by theneglected education and limited mental resources of many of hisreaders,he repairs to one of his numerous literary lairs, and ransacks thepagesof the Past for plunder befitting his pen and party. When he is abouttowrite an editorial article on Protection, he invariably prepares hismind by reading several chapters on the "Manly Art of Self-Defense,"which accounts for the wisdom and brilliancy displayed by him on thesubject of tariffs. In order to approach a discussion of the subject ofvegetarianism without prejudice, H.G. repairs to the wheezy WINDUST'S,where, for hours at a time, he literally "crams" with his favorite dishof pork and beans. The Amelioration of the condition of the WorkingClasses is another favorite theme with GREELEY, and, in order todiscussclearly and cogently the many phases and ramifications of this livelyand exciting topic, he devotes several hours to the study of "Idlenessas a Fine Art." Before writing a particularly funny or spirited articleupon Politics, the Fine Arts, or the Drama, H.G., it is said, may beseen for several hours at the Astor Library, poring over BURTON'S Anatomyof Melancholy. While in the throes of literarylabor upon TheGreat Conflict, he had numerous dogmatic discussions with Mr. KITBURNS, participated in several flights of the "fancy" to thebird-battling haunts of New Jersey, and even pursued the ministers ofmuscle to the scene of their bucolic pastimes in the P.R. It is,perhaps, unnecessary to remark that Mr. GREELEY'S Recollections ofaBusy Life were inspired almost directly by frequent collusion withthepages of DE QUINCEY and COLERIDGE, whose wild lives and turbulentexperiences possess a peculiar charm for the Triton of the Tribune.When Mr. GREELEY wishes to write against capital punishment—which hedoes about every time the moon changes—he naturally turns over a fewpages of Thirty Years in Washington. When he purposes to temptthebounding bean of the kitchen garden of Chappaqua, or humble the hopefulharrow of agriculture, he may be found either at the Italian Opera,serenely sleeping under the soporific strains of Sonnambula, orat theCircus, benignly blinking at the agglomerating Arabs. The inspirationfor that thrilling story in real life, entitled, What I Know aboutFarming, is said to have been received almost wholly from the stateofsomnolency induced by that clever clairvoyant, the Rev. Dr. CHAPIN. Acurious notion exists in the minds of a few ignorant persons, to theeffect that Mr. GREELEY vexes his mellow mind for essays on thetemperance question with frequent and numerous imbibitions of "sodastraight;" but it is high time that this popular error was exploded.Allwho have seen Mr. GREELEY in the bar-room of a certain city hotel,dashing down brandy or pouring down whisky, and have next morningperused a Tribune editorial on "The Evils of Intemperance," need not bereminded of the chief source of H.G.'s animated style and vigorousdiction. An extended walk along the beautiful avenues of the city, or adrive through Central Park, invariably prepares Mr. GREELEY's mind forthe birth of an article on the advantages to young men of leaving themetropolis and seeking homes in the West. Some months ago, Mr. GREELEYpurchased a small, select library, which contains, among other choiceworks, the sweet pastoral productions of SYLVANUS COBB, Jr.; the quaintand exhilarating narratives of EUGENE SUE; the wholesome and harmlessfictions of NED BUNTLINE, together with the complete poetical works ofMARTIN FARQUHAR TUPPER, and it was from the perusal of these comfortingand pellucid contributions to American literature that Mr. GREELEYcaught the spirit and the style which distinguish his thrilling work onPolitical Economy. But something too much of this. We would notembitterthe life of Mr. GREELEY, at present, by any farther revelations, andtherefore we let the subject drop.


CONDENSED CONGRESS.

SENATE.

t the opening,Senator SUMNER rose to a personal explanation.In fact,he always does. He said that General PRIM had disowned having had anything to do with him upon the Cuban question. General PRIM wasperfectlycorrect. (Applause.) He did not know much about the Cuban question; buthe flattered himself that he was familiar with the gurreat purrinciplesof Eternal Justice, and he intended to apply them to the solution ofallour political problems. He said that Lord COKE had justly andeloquentlyobserved de minimis non curat lex. He thought this would applyto ourrelations with the Island, where, although the sugar-cane lifts itslofty top and the woodbine twineth, the accursed spirit of caste stillprevails. He begged to bring to the attention of the Senate and thecountry the amended lines of the sacred poet:

"What though the spicy breezes

Blow soft o'er Cuba's isle;

Though every prospect pleases,

And only man is vile?"

The Senate would say with CICERO, de non apparentious etnonexistentibus, eadem est ratio, and they would remember withreferenceto the revolutionists of Cuba the great saying of Lord BACON, "Put abeggar on horseback, and he will go to the Senate from Massachusetts."Whatever the issue of the Cuban contest might be, he could lay his handupon his heart, and say with the Mantuan bard, "Homo sum." or,in thelanguage of our own Shakespeare, that which we call a rose by any othername would smell as sweet. These were all the sentiments he could findin his library which bore directly upon this subject.

Senator SUMNER then introduced a bill to provide for theresumption ofspecie payments. The bill sets forth that it shall hereafter be afelonyfor any person to make tender of any thing other than gold and silvertoany person of African descent, in any of the States lately inrebellion.In moving the bill, the senator said that its passage was imperativelydemanded by several negroes whom he knew, and that he would not consentto deliver these helpless persons into the hands of their late masterswithout some such guarantee as this bill furnished. He quoted fromARISTOTLE, LOCKE, and BURKE to prove that classes liable to oppressionwere apt to be oppressed.

Senator TRUMBULL wished to know what that had to do with theresumptionof specie payments.

Senator SUMNER considered the inquiry impertinent. The greatprinciplesof justice were always in order.

Senator GARRET DAVIS took the floor, and made a neat speech ofthreedays and a half in opposition to the bill. He said he was a Democrat,and he always had been a Democrat. The founders of the republic wouldweep if they could see what the government had come to. What would CLAYand CALHOUN have said to seeing such men as his honorable friend fromNevada (Mr. NYE) and himself in the Senate? If he might be permitted toinfringe upon the domain of the senator from Massachusetts, he wouldquote Shakspeare, "What should such fellows as I do, crawling betweenheaven and earth?" (Loud applause.) At the close of Mr. DAVIS'S speechhis friends came in from WELCKER'S, and congratulated him on having gotthrough. Exhausted nature made the Senate adjourn.


HOUSE.

After some general sparring, of which a set to between Mr.GARFIELD andMr. HAIGHT formed the most conspicuous feature, the cadetship questioncame up. Mr. VOORHEES explained that he never had sold any cadetships.Mr. LOGAN wished to know who said he had. Mr. VOORHEES remarked thatMr.LOGAN was another. Mr. VOORHEES explained that he had appointed the sonof a constituent, and that subsequently to the appointment he had takena drink at the expense and the request of the constituent. He alwaystook his straight, and the cost to his constituent was only fifteencents. Which one of his colleagues would have acted otherwise? (Voices,"Not one.")

Mr. BUTLER denounced the course of Mr. VOORHEES. For his part,he saw noimpropriety in selling cadetships or any thing else. What do gentlemensuppose that cadetships exist for, if it is not for the emolument ofcongressmen? He considered his patronage as a part of his perquisites.This had been the guiding principle of his life, alike in his militaryand his political career. He considered the action of Mr. VOORHEES tobean act of deliberate treachery to this House. If he accepted a pitifuldrink in return for his official influence, he was guilty of a grossoffense in cheapening the price of patronage. A cadetship was worth$500if it was worth a cent. If, on the other hand, he gave his cadetshipaway, his conduct was even more culpable; for other congressmen mightbeweak enough to follow his baleful example, and the market would bebroken down. He advocated the formation of a Congressional Labor Unionto determine the value of these appointments, and to expel all memberswho took less than the standard rate. This was what was done in otherbranches of business, and if his colleagues wished to be like him, thelittle busy B.F.B., and improve each shining hour, this is what theywould do.

And then the House adjourned.


READY-MADE EPITAPHS.

On a Departed Clown.

Though lost to sight, to mummery dear.

On a Faithful Book-keeper.

Posted up.


Wring the Belles.

American belles ought to make good housewives, because theyput up withlittle or no waist.


To whom it may Concern.

Persons who take music by the wholesale are informed that theycanprocure it of the street organ-grinders, who dispose of it by theBarrel.


Voice in the Air.

"What is honor? Air."—Sir JOHN FALSTAFF.

"What is dishonor? EYRE."—Every body.


The "Cumming" Man.

The "sensation" editor of the Sun.


"BLAG YER BOOTS, MISTER!"


A Huge Sell.

The appointing to cadetships at West-Point.


The Most Religious Editor in New-York.

C.A. DANA—because every week-day is observed as a "Sun"day by him.


A Good General Idea.

A neat practical joke was that perpetrated by one of ourcontributors,who, having been requested to bring us "something pat," walked into ouroffice a day or two after with a couple of Fenian generals in tow.


A Happy Thought.

The Elevated Railway is worked by means of what is known toengineers asan "endless rope." Might it not be well to work the murderers androbbers of New-York on the same principle?


Abnormal.

One of the strangest anomalies in color known is to beobserved atMobile and other places on the Southern coast, where black men arefrequently Bay pilots.


KING OAKEY THE FIRST, OF IRELAND.

BY ALDERMAN ROONEY.

HOORAH! the dawn begins to break,

Ould Ireland's sons at last awake,

And from their sowls the shackles shake

That long have kept them under.

Arise, then, brave Phoenicians all,

Obey your noble gineral's call;

From off the steps of City Hall

You hear his voice of thunder!

O OAKEY, darlin'! you're the wan

To take ould Erin by the han';

We'll pummel the Britishers every man,

And make you King of Ireland!

Go rowl the news across the say,

Of how we spint the glorious day,

A hundred thousand on Broadway,

And more upon the Island.

Go tell the lords in Parlamint,

Of how Saint PATRICK'S day was spint,

And see if they don't reduce the rint

On every fut of dry land.

O OAKEY, darlin'! you're the wan

To take ould Erin by the han';

We'll pummel the Britishers every man,

And make you King of Ireland!

Go tell them how you raised the flag,

The green above their crimson rag,

And should they talk of Yankee brag,

We'll tache them how to rue it.

Go tell them how all day you stud,

Wid both your nate feet in the mud,

As if it had been Saxon blood

And you wor fightin' thro' it!

O OAKEY, darlin'! you're the wan

Who've tuk ould Erin by the han';

We'll pummel the Britishers every man.

And make you King of Ireland!

Your innimies say you're not sincere,

Nor care a straw for Irish here,

Unless whin 'lection time is near,

And Irish votes are wanted.

But don't you throuble yourself at all,

We'll drive your innimies to the wall;

We know you better, OAKEY HALL,

Than take sich stuff for granted.

No! OAKEY, darlin', you're the wan

Who've tuk ould Erin by the han';

We'll pummel the Britishers every man,

And make you King of Ireland!

They say you want to be Mayor once more,

And after that, to be Governore—

As if you wouldn't be needed before,

To lade the Faynians over.

And they say you raise this hullabaloo,

'Bout Ireland's wrongs, and Cuba's too,

That Irish fools might cotton to you,

And you might sit in clover.

But no! for OAKEY, you're the wan

That tuk ould Erin by the han';

We'll pummel the Britishers every man,

And make you King of Ireland!

Oh! no; we are not so aisy schooled,

By slanders bought wid Saxon goold;

They'll find, who think us so aisy fooled,

How much they underrate us.

Then up, mavrone! and take your stand,

The layder of the Faynian band,

And King you'll soon be of the land

Of shamrogues and potatoes!

Yes! OAKEY, darlin', you're the wan

That tuk ould Erin by the han';

We'll pummel the Britishers every man,

And make you King of Ireland.

So, good Saint PATRICK, bless the day

Whin Gineral HALL will march away,

Across the deep and briny say,

My country's bonds to sever;

And bless him whin he goes ashore.

And whin he walks in British gore,

And whin he's Ireland's King asthore,

Oh! may he live forever.

Yes! OAKEY, darlin', you're the wan

That tuk ould Erin by the han';

An' you'll be King of all her lan',

King OAKEY First, of Ireland.



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KNICKERBOCKER

Gin Company's

WORLD-RENOWNED

Double Distilled

B. & V.'s "ANCHOR" BRAND

OF

PURE

HOLLAND GIN,

FROM THEIR OWN DISTILLERY AT

LEIDEN, NEAR SCHIEDAM,HOLLAND.


This brand of liquor has obtained a great reputation, notonly in Holland but throughout Europe, where it has beentested

IN THE MOST CELEBRATED

Chemical Institutions.


MILLIONS OF GALLONS

Have been sent to all parts of the world, and principally tothe

EAST AND WEST INDIES, AUSTRALIA, AND AFRICA,

Where it is used

In Preference to any other Brand known.


Orders will be received at their office,

No. 15 William Street,

For the above, and also for their other importations of

WINES,

BRANDIES,

CIGARS, Etc.,

Which they guarantee as to

PURITY AND GENUINENESS.

KNICKERBOCKER GIN CO.,

15 William Street,

NEW-YORK.

RED AS A ROSE IS SHE.

Third Edition.

D. APPLETON & CO.,90, 92, and 94 Grand Street,Have now ready the Third Edition of

RED AS A ROSE IS SHE.

By the Author of "Cometh up as a Flower."

1 vol. 8vo. Paper Covers, 60 cents.

From the New-York Evening Express."This is truly a charming novel; for half its contentsbreathe the very odor of the flower it takes as its title."

From the Philadelphia Inquirer."The author can and does write well; the descriptions ofscenery are particularly effective, always graphic, and neveroverstrained."

D.A. & Co. have just published:

A SEARCH FOR WINTER SUNBEAMS IN THERIVIERA, CORSICA, ALGIERS, AND SPAIN.By Hon. S.S. Cox. Illustrated. Price, $3.

REPTILES AND BIRDS: A POPULAR ACCOUNTOF THEIR VARIOUS ORDERS, WITH ADESCRIPTION OF THE HABITS AND ECONOMYOF THE MOST INTERESTING.By Louis Figuler. Illustrated with 307 wood-cuts. 1 vol.8vo, $6.

HEREDITARY GENIUS: AN INQUIRY INTO ITSLAWS AND CONSEQUENCES.By Francis Galton. 1 vol. 8vo. $3.50.

HAND-BOOK _ THE MASTERY SERIES _LEARNING LANGUAGES.

I. THE HAND-BOOK _ THE MASTERY SERIES.II. THE MASTERY SERIES, FRENCH.III. THE MASTERY SERIES, GERMAN.IV. THE MASTERY SERIES, SPANISH.Price, 50 cents each.

Either of the above sent free by mall to any address onreceipt of the price.


LUCIFER INTERVIEWS THE MAYOR.

Mayor Hall. "WANT YOUR PLACE PAVED, YOU SAY? CERTAINLY,SIR; HOW WILLYOU HAVE IT DONE, WITH GOOD INTENTIONS OR WITH BROKEN PROMISES? WE CANSUPPLY YOU WITH EITHER AT THE CITY HALL."


WALTHAM WATCHES

3-4 PLATE.

16 and 20 Sizes.

To the manufacture of these fine Watches the Company havedevoted allthe science and skill in the art at their command, and confidentlyclaimthat, for fineness and beauty, no less than for the greater excellencesof mechanical and scientific correctness of design and execution, thesewatches are unsurpassed anywhere.

In this country the manufacture of this fine grade of Watchesis noteven attempted except at Waltham.

FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING JEWELLERS.

HENRY L. STEPHENS,

ARTIST,

No. 160 Fulton Street,

NEW-YORK.

Important to Newsdealers!

ALL ORDERS FOR

PUNCHINELLO

Will be supplied by

OUR SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE AGENTS,

American News Co.

NEW-YORK.

PUNCHINELLO:

TERMS TO CLUBS.

WE OFFER AS PREMIUMS FOR CLUBS

FIRST:

DANA BICKFORD'S PATENT FAMILY SPINNER,

The most complete and desirable machine ever yet introducedfor spinningpurposes.

SECOND:

BICKFORD'S CROCHET AND FANCY WORK MACHINES.

These beautiful little machines are very fascinating, as wellas useful;and every lady should have one, as they can make every conceivable kindof crochet or fancy work upon them.

THIRD:

BICKFORD'S AUTOMATIC FAMILY KNITTER.

This is the most perfect and complete machine in the world. Itknitsevery thing.

FOURTH:

AMERICAN BUTTONHOLE, OVERSEAMING, AND SEWING-MACHINE.

This great combination machine is the last and greatestimprovement onall former machines. No. 1, with finely finished Oiled Walnut Table andCover, complete, price, $75. No. 2, same machine without the buttonholeparts, etc., price, $60.

WE WILL SEND THE

Family Spinner, price, $8, for 4 subscribers and $16.
No. 1 Crochet, price, $8, for 4 subscribers and $16.
No.2 Crochet, price, $15, for 6 subscribers and $24.
No. 1 Automatic Knitter,
72 needles,
price, $30, for 12 subscribers and $48.
No.2 Automatic Knitter,
84 needles,
price, $33, for 13 subscribers and $52.
No.3 Automatic Knitter,
100 needles,
price, $37, for 15 subscribers and $60.
No.4 Automatic Knitter, 2 cylinders,
72 needles
1 100 needles
price, $40. for 16 subscribers and $64.
No. 1 American Buttonhole
and Overseaming Machine,
price, $75, for 30 subscribers and $120.
No. 2 American Buttonhole
and Overseaming Machine,
without buttonhole
parts, etc.,
price, $60, for 25 subscribers and $100.

Descriptive Circulars

Of all these machines will be sent upon application to thisoffice, andfull instructions for working them will be sent to purchasers.

Parties getting up Clubs preferring cash to premiums, maydeductseventy-five cents upon each full subscription sent for foursubscribersand upward, and after the first remittance for four subscribers maysendsingle names as they obtain them, deducting the commission.

Remittances should be made in Post-Office Orders, Bank Checks,or Draftson New-York City; or if these can not be obtained, then by RegisteredLetters, which any post-master will furnish.

Charges on money sent by express must be prepaid, or the netamount onlywill be credited.

Directions for shipping machines must be full and explicit, topreventerror. In sending subscriptions give address, with Town, County, andState.

The postage on this paper will be twenty cents per year,payablequarterly in advance, at the place where it is received. Subscribers inthe British Provinces will remit twenty cants in addition tosubscription.

All communications, remittances, etc., to be addressed toP.O. Box 2783.


PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY

No. 83 Nassau Street,

NEW-YORK


S.W. GREEN, PRINTER, CORNERJACOB AND FRANKFORT STREETS.