SCENE XII
BOLSHÓV and PODKHALYÚZIN
BOLSHÓV. Now consider, Lázar, what trading's like: just think about it. You think it's getting money for nothing? "Money, not much!" they tell you; "ain't seen any for a long time. Take my note," they say. But what are you going to get from some people on a note? Here I have about a hundred thousand rubles' worth of 'em lying around, and with protests. You don't do anything but add to the heap each year. If you want, I'll sell you the whole pile for half a ruble in silver. You'll never catch the men who signed 'em even with bloodhounds. Some have died off, some have run away; there's not even a single man to put in the pen. Suppose you do send one there, Lázar, that doesn't do you any good; some of 'em will hold on so that you can't smoke 'em out. "I'm all right here," they say, "you go hang!" Isn't that so, Lázar?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Just so, that's the way it happens.
BOLSHÓV. Always notes, notes! But what on earth is a note? Absolutely nothing but paper, if I may say so. And if you discount it, they do it at a rate that makes your belly ache, and you pay for it later with your own property. [After a brief silence] It's better not to have dealings with provincials: always on credit, always on credit; and if he ever does bring the money, it's in slick small change—you look, and there's neither head nor tail to the coins, and the denomination's rubbed off long ago. But do as you please here! You'd better not show your goods to the tradesman of this place; any one of 'em'll go into any warehouse and sniff and peck, and peck, and then clear out. It'd be all right if there were no goods, but what do you expect a man to trade in? I've got one apothecary shop, one dry goods, the third a grocery. No use, none of them pays. You needn't even go to the market; they cut the prices down worse than the devil knows what; but if you sell a horse-collar, you have to throw in trimmings and earnest money, and treat the fellows, and stand all sorts of losses through wrong weights. That's the way it goes! Don't you realize that?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Seems I ought to realize it, sir.
BOLSHÓV. There's business for you, and that's the way to do it. [Silence]
Well, Lázar, what do you think?
PODKHALYÚZIN. What should I think, sir? That's just as you please. My business is that of a subordinate.
BOLSHÓV. What do you mean, subordinate? Just speak out freely. I'm asking you about the business.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Again, Samsón Sílych, it's just as you please, sir.
BOLSHÓV. You twaddle one thing: "As you please." But what do you think?
PODKHALYÚZIN. That I can't say, sir.
BOLSHÓV. [After a brief silence] Tell me, Lázar, on your conscience; do you love me? [Silence] Do you love me or not? Why are you silent? [Silence] I've given you food and drink, set you up in the world; haven't I?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, Samsón Sílych! What's the use of talking about it, sir?
Don't have any doubts about me! Only one word: I'm just such as you see me.
BOLSHÓV. What do you mean by that?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, if you need anybody or anything whatsoever, you can count on me. I shan't spare myself.
BOLSHÓV. Well, then, there's nothing more to be said. In my opinion, Lázar, now is the most proper time; we have a good deal of ready cash, and all the notes have fallen due. What's the use of waiting? You'll wait, if you please, until some merchant just like yourself, the dirty cur, will strip you bare, and then, you'll see, he'll make an agreement at ten kopeks on the ruble, and he'll wallow in his millions, and won't think you're worth spitting at. But you, an honorable tradesman, must just watch him, and suffer—keep on staring. Here's what I think, Lázar: to offer the creditors such a proposition as this—will they accept from me twenty-five kopeks on the ruble? What do you think?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, according to my notion, Samsón Sílych, if you're going to pay at the rate of twenty-five kopeks, it would be more decent not to pay at all.
BOLSHÓV. Why, really, that's so. You won't scare anybody by a bluff; but it's better to settle the affair on the quiet. Then wait for the Lord to judge you at the Second Coming. Only it's a heap of trouble. I'm going to mortgage my house and shops to you.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Impossible to do it without some bother, sir. You'll have to get rid of the notes for something, sir; have the merchandise transferred somewhere further off. We'll get busy, sir!
BOLSHÓV. Just so. Although an old man, I'm going to get busy. But are you going to help?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Good gracious, Samsón Sílych, I'll go through fire and water, sir.
BOLSHÓV. What could be better! Why the devil should I scratch around for pennies. I'll make one swoop, and that's an end to it! Only God give us the nerve! Thanks, Lázar. You've treated me like a friend. [He rises] Now, get busy! [He goes up to him and taps him on the shoulder] If you get the thing done properly, you and I'll divide the profits. I'll reward you for the rest of your life.
[He goes to the door.
PODKHALYÚZIN. I don't need anything, Samsón Sílych, except your peace of mind, sir. I've lived with you since my earliest years, and I've received countless favors from you; it may be said, sir, you took me as a little brat, to sweep out your shops; consequently I simply must be grateful.