THE STORY OF THE BARBER.
In the reign of the caliph Moustancer Billah [Footnote: He was raised to this dignity in the year of the Hegira 623, and Anno Dom. 1226; and was the thirty-sixth caliph of the race of the Abassides.], continued he, a prince famous for his vast liberality towards the poor, ten highwaymen infested the roads about Bagdad, who had for a long time committed unheard-of robberies and cruelties. The caliph having notice of this, sent for the judge of the police some days before the feast of Bairam, and ordered him, on pain of death, to bring all the ten to him.
The judge of the police, continued the barber, used so much diligence, and sent so many people in pursuit of the ten robbers, that they were taken on the day of Bairam. I was then walking on the banks of the Tigris, and saw ten men, richly apparelled, go into a boat. I might have known they were robbers, had I observed the guards that were with them; but I looked only to them; and, thinking they were people who had a mind to spend the festival-day in jollity, I entered the boat with them, without saying one word, in hopes they would allow me to be one of the company. We went down the Tigris, and landed before the caliph's palace; and I then had time to consider with myself, and to find out my mistake. When we came out of the boat, we were surrounded by a new troop of the judge of the police's guard, who tied us all, and carried us before the caliph. I suffered myself to be tied as well as the rest, without speaking one word: for to what purpose should I have spoken, or made any resistance? That would have been the way to have been ill treated by the guards, who would not have listened to me, for they are brutish fellows, who will hear no reason: I was with the robbers, which was sufficient to make them believe me to be one.
When we came before the caliph, he ordered the ten highwaymen's heads to be cut off immediately. The executioner drew us up in a file within the reach of his arm, and by good fortune I was the last. He cut off the heads of the ten highwaymen, beginning with the first; and when he came to me he stopped. The caliph, perceiving that he did not meddle with me, grew angry: Did not I command thee, said he, to cut off the heads of ten highwaymen? Why, then, hast thou cut off but nine? Commander of the faithful, said he, Heaven preserve me from disobeying your majesty's orders! Here are ten corpses upon the ground, and as many heads which I cut off; your majesty may count them.
When the caliph saw himself that what the executioner said was true, he looked upon me with astonishment; and, perceiving that I had not the face of a highwayman, said to me, Good old man, how came you to be among those wretches, who have deserved a thousand deaths? I answered, Commander of the faithful, I shall make a true confession. This morning I saw those ten persons, whose unhappy fate is a proof of your majesty's justice, take boat; and I embarked with them, thinking they were men going to an entertainment to celebrate this day, which is the most remarkable in our religion.
The caliph, who could not forbear laughing at my adventure, instead of treating me as a prattling fellow, as the lame young man did, admired my discretion and constant silence. Commander of the faithful, said I, your majesty need not wonder at my keeping silence on such an occasion, which would have made another apt to speak. I make a particular profession of holding my peace; and on that account I have acquired the title of Silent. Thus I am called, to distinguish me from my six brothers. This is the effect of my philosophy; and, in a word, in this virtue consists my glory and happiness. I am very glad, said the caliph, smiling, that they gave you a title which you so well deserve, and know how to make such good use of. But tell me what sort of men your brothers are: were they like you? By no means, said I; they were all of them given to prating, one more than another; and as to their persons, there was still a greater difference betwixt them and me. The first was hump-backed; the second had rotten teeth; the third had but one eye; the fourth was blind; the fifth had his ears cut; and the sixth had hare-lips. They had such adventures as would inform you of their characters, had I the honour of telling them to your majesty. Accordingly, the caliph expressing a desire to hear a relation of their stories, I began thus: