THE SOLDIER AND THE PARLOR-MAID
Prater Gardens. Sunday Evening. A road which leads from the Wurstelprater[1] into dark tree arcades. Confused music from the Wurstelprater can still be heard; also strains from the cheap dancehall, a vulgar polka, played by a brass band. The Soldier. The Parlor-Maid.
Maid
Now tell me why you wanted to leave.
Soldier
(Grins sheepishly)
Maid
It was so beautiful and I so love to dance.
Soldier
(Puts his arm around her waist)
Maid
(Submitting) But we aren’t dancing now. Why do you hold me so tight?
Soldier
What’s your name? Katy?
Maid
You’ve always got a “Katy” on your mind.
Soldier
I know—I know … Marie.
Maid
Goodness, it’s dark here. I’m afraid.
Soldier
You needn’t be afraid when I’m with you. I can take care of myself!
Maid
But where are we going? There’s no one around. Come, let’s go back!… It’s so dark!
Soldier
(Pulling at his cigar until it glows brightly) There … it’s already getting brighter. Ha—! Oh, you dearie!
Maid
Oh! what are you doing there? If I had known this before!
Soldier
The devil take me, if any one at the dance to-day felt softer and rounder than you, Miss Marie.
Maid
Did you find it out in the same way with all the others?
Soldier
You notice things … dancing. You find out lots that way!
Maid
But you danced much oftener with that cross-eyed blonde than with me.
Soldier
She’s an old friend of one of my pals.
Maid
Of the corporal with the upturned mustache?
Soldier
Oh no, I mean the civilian. You know, the one who was talking with me at the table in the beginning. The one who has such a husky voice.
Maid
Oh I know. He’s fresh.
Soldier
Did he do anything to you? I’ll show him! What did he do to you?
Maid
Oh nothing… I only noticed how he was with the others.
Soldier
Tell me, Miss Marie…
Maid
You’ll burn me with your cigar.
Soldier
Pardon me!—Miss Marie—or may I say Marie?
Maid
We’re not such good friends yet…
Soldier
There’re many who don’t like each-other, and yet use first names.
Maid
Next time, if we… But, Frank!
Soldier
Oh, you remember my name?
Maid
But, Frank…
Soldier
That’s right, call me Frank, Miss Marie.
Maid
Don’t be so fresh—but, sh-h, suppose some one should come!
Soldier
What if some one did come? They couldn’t see anything two steps off.
Maid
For goodness’ sake, where are we going?
Soldier
Look! There’s two just like us.
Maid
Where? I don’t see anything.
Soldier
There … just ahead of us.
Maid
Why do you say: “two like us”—
Soldier
Well, I mean, they like each other too.
Maid
Look out! What’s that there? I nearly fell.
Soldier
Oh, that’s the meadow-gate.
Maid
Don’t shove me so. I’ll fall.
Soldier
Sh-h, not so loud.
Maid
Stop! Now I’m really going to scream—What are you doing?… Stop now—
Soldier
There’s no one anywhere around.
Maid
Then, let’s go back where the people are.
Soldier
We don’t need them. Why—Marie, we need … for that…
Maid
Stop, Frank, please, for Heaven’s sake! Listen to me, if I had … known … oh … come!
Soldier
(Blissfully) Once more… Oh…
Maid
… I can’t see your face at all.
Soldier
Don’t matter—my face…
Soldier
Well, Miss Marie, you can’t stay here on the grass all night.
Maid
Please, Frank, help me.
Soldier
Oh, come along.
Maid
Oh, Lord help me, Frank.
Soldier
Well, what’s the matter with me?
Maid
You’re a bad man, Frank.
Soldier
Yes, yes. Say, wait a minute.
Maid
Why do you leave me alone?
Soldier
Can’t you let me light my cigar!
Maid
It’s so dark.
Soldier
It’ll be light again to-morrow morning.
Maid
Tell me, at least, you love me.
Soldier
Well, you must have felt that, Miss Marie!
Maid
Where are we going now?
Soldier
Back, of course.
Maid
Please, don’t walk so fast.
Soldier
Well, what’s wrong? I don’t like to walk around in the dark.
Maid
Tell me, Frank … do you love me?
Soldier
But I just told you that I loved you!
Maid
Won’t you give me a little kiss?
Soldier
(Condescendingly) There… Listen—There’s the music again.
Maid
Would you really like to go back, and dance again?
Soldier
Of course, why not?
Maid
But, Frank, see, I have to get home. Madame will scold me anyway,—she’s cranky … she’d like it best if I never went out.
Soldier
Well, you can go home.
Maid
But, I thought, Frank, you’d take me home.
Soldier
Take you home? Oh!
Maid
Please, it’s so sad to go home alone.
Soldier
Where do you live?
Maid
Not very far—in Porzellanstrasse.
Soldier
So? Then we go the same way … but it’s still too early for me … me for the dance… I’ve got late leave to-day… I don’t need to be back at the barracks before twelve o’clock. I’m going to dance.
Maid
Oh, I see, now it’s that cross-eyed blonde’s turn.
Soldier
Humph!—Her face isn’t so bad.
Maid
Oh Lord, how wicked men are. I’m sure you do the same to every one.
Soldier
That’d be too much!—
Maid
Please, Frank, no more to-day—stay with me to-day, you see—
Soldier
Oh, very well, all right. But I suppose I may dance.
Maid
I’m not going to dance with any one else to-night.
Soldier
There it is already…
Maid
What?
Soldier
The hall! How quick we got back. They’re still playing the same thing … that tatata-tum tatata-tum (He hums with the band)… Well, I’ll take you home, if you want to wait for me … if not … good-by—
Maid
Yes, I’ll wait.
(They enter the dancehall)
Soldier
Say, Miss Marie, get yourself a glass of beer. (Turning to a blonde who is just dancing past him in the arms of another, very formally) Miss, may I ask for a dance?—