FISHING ON DRY LAND
TIME: long ago.
PLACE: before the King's palace.
KING.
PRINCE.
QUEEN.
LADIES.
FARMER NIX.
FARMER KNAVE.
MANY OTHER FARMERS.
[FARMER NIX, FARMER KNAVE, and the other FARMERS have come with their wagons, for it is market day. Some of the wagons are drawn by horses and some by oxen.]
NIX. Have you seen my colt, sir?
A FARMER. I saw a colt run by not long ago.
SECOND FARMER. There is a colt with Farmer Knave's oxen.
NIX. I do not see him.
THIRD FARMER. He is lying down between them.
NIX. Ah, I see him now.
(He goes to Farmer Knave.)
I have come for my colt, Farmer Knave.
KNAVE. Your colt?
NIX. Yes. There he is between your oxen.
KNAVE. He is my colt, sir.
NIX. How can he be your colt when he is mine?
KNAVE. I ask the same question, sir.
NIX. What do you mean?
KNAVE. How can the colt be yours when he is mine?
NIX. I'll have you before the judge, sir!
KNAVE. The judge shall speak to you, sir!
[The PRINCE comes from the castle.]
PRINCE. What is all this noise, sirs? What is all this noise, I say? The king sent me to ask.
NIX. Farmer Knave does claim my colt, Prince.
PRINCE. How is this, Farmer Knave?
KNAVE. I claim the colt because the colt is mine, Prince.
PRINCE. Now how is this, Farmer Nix?
NIX. The colt is mine, Prince.
KNAVE. The colt is mine I say!
NIX. I say the colt is mine!
PRINCE. Hush, Farmer Nix! Hush, Farmer Knave! I'll tell the king what both of you do claim. He will decide to whom the colt belongs.
[The Prince goes.]
KNAVE. See how the colt lies between my oxen! Is not that proof that he is mine?
NIX. But who can tell what a colt will do?
[The PRINCE comes.]
PRINCE. Farmers, the king has decided. He says the colt belongs where it is now lying.
KNAVE. And he lies between my oxen.
PRINCE. That is proof enough, The colt belongs to you, Farmer Knave.
NIX. But, Prince—
PRINCE. Not another word! Go, now, with your wagons and horses and oxen! The queen comes out to walk. Go, all of you!
[The Prince enters the castle. The farmers go, Nix last. The QUEEN and her LADIES come from the castle.]
QUEEN. Go bring Farmer Nix to me.
[A Lady runs to Nix.]
LADY. The queen wants to see you, sir.
[Nix goes to the Queen and bows.]
QUEEN. I heard all from the castle window. I know the colt is yours.
NIX. I thank you, my Queen, I thank you!
QUEEN. Now you must show the king that colts cannot belong to oxen, never have belonged to oxen, and never will belong to oxen.
NIX. I will go to him at once! I will tell him—
QUEEN. Not so fast! I said you must show the king. He would not let you tell him. No one ever dares to tell things to a king.
NIX. How can I show him?
QUEEN. You must think out the way. I cannot help you more.
NIX. I thank you, my Queen, I thank you.
QUEEN. The king comes out to walk soon.
NIX. I will return to show him.
[Nix bows to the Queen and goes. The KING and PRINCE come from the castle.]
QUEEN. 'Tis a pleasant day to walk, dear King.
KING. Oh, 'tis very, very pleasant.
[Enter Nix with a fishing-net. He throws out the net and draws it in.]
QUEEN. Why, look you what that foolish man is doing!
KING. He throws out his net and draws it in! He acts just as if he were fishing.
QUEEN. Let's ask what he is doing.
KING. Come here, you foolish fellow! Come here, I say!
(NIX comes to the King, but goes on with his fishing.)
Now what are you doing, sir?
NIX. I am fishing, fishing, fishing.
KING. How can you fish where is no water?
NIX. Fish can be found on land if colts belong to oxen.
KING. What is that, sir?
NIX. If colts belong to oxen, then fish should swim in dust.
KING. Well, well, that may be true! What do you think, dear Queen?
QUEEN. I think with you—it may be true.
NIX (fishing). If colts belong to oxen, then I will always fish in dust.
KING. Well, well, I think you may be right, sir!
(Pause. The King thinks deeply.)
Yes, I am now sure that you are right, sir. Go get your colt from Farmer Knave. Go with him, Prince, and see to it. Now come, dear Queen, we'll walk about together, for 'tis a very pleasant day, 'tis very, very pleasant.