The Covent Garden Theatre, or Pasquin Turn'd Drawcansir

by Charles Macklin

Dramatis Personæ

Men.

Pasquin.

Marforio.

Sir Eternal Grinn.

Sir Conjecture Possitive.

Sir Roger Ringwood.

Bob: Smart.

Solomon Common Sense

Count Hunt bubble.

S^r. Iohn Ketch.

Hic & hæc Scriblerus.

Hydra.

Women.

Lady Lucy Lovit

Miss Diana Singlelife

Miss Brilliant.

Miss Giggle.

Miss Bashful.

Scene. Covent Garden Theatre.
Time an hour.

Scene. The Stage, with a
Rostrum on it.

Enter Pasquin. Goes in the Rostrum.

Pas: Nobles,— Commons— Beaux, Bells— Wits, Critics,— Bards & Bardlins,— and ye my very good Friends of Common Sense,— tho’ last, not least in Merit,— Greeting, and Patience to you all. I Seignior Pasquin, of the Quorum of Parnassus. Drawcansir and Censor of Great Britain, by my Bills and Advertisements, have Summoned You together this Night to hear a Public Examination of several Public Nusances, My Scene I have laid in the Common Theatre, which is my usual place of exposing those Knaves and Fools, who despise the Moral— and those who are too great or too Subtle for the common Law, and as my whole design is new, I hope You, my Gracious Patrons, will not be Offended if I Assigne you a part in this Pasquinade, which is this,— You are to Act as a Chorus to the whole. When you behold a Fool pleasantly exposed You are to laugh, if you please, not else;— When a Knave is Satyrized with Spirit & Wit, You are to Applaud;— and when Pasquin is dull you are to explode, which I Suppose will be the Chief of Your Part. But, before I Enter upon my Office of Public Censor, give me leave Gracious Patrons, as is my Custom, whenever I come, to give a short Sketch of my Character and Practice. I am known throughout the Globe, have been Caress’d in most of the Courts, lock’d up in most Prisons in Europe. The dexterity of my Flattery has introduced me to the Tables of the First Dons in Madrid one Day, and, the boldness of my Satyr, into the Inquisition next. I have Revel’d with the Princes of the Blood, and have made all Paris laugh at my Wit over Night, and, have had the Honour of being in the Bastile the next Morning. indeed I fared but indifferently in Holland; for, all that my Flattery, or Satyr, my Ridicule or my Wit, cou’d procure me there, was an Appartment in the Rasp House. At length, most Gracious and Indulgent Britons, I am arrived in this Great Metropolis! this Magazine of all the World! this Nurse of Trade! this Region of Liberty! this School of Arts and Sciences! This Universal Rendevouz of all the Monsters produced by wagish Nature & fantastick Art, here Panopticons, Microcosms, Bears, Badgers, Lyons, Leapords, Tygers, Panthers, Ostriches and Unicorns,— Giants, dwarfs, Hermorphradites and Conjurers, Statemen, Nostrums, Patriots and Corncutters! Quacks, Turks, Enthusiasts, and Fire Eaters. Mother Midnights, Termagants, Clare Market, and Robin Hood Orators, Drury Lane Journals, Inspectors, Fools, and Drawcansirs, dayly Tax the Public by Virtue of the Strangeness the Monstrosity or delicacy of their Nature or Genius, And hither I am come, knowing you were fond of Monsters, To exhibit Mine, the newest & I hope the greatest Monster of them all, for the Public is a common Bank, upon which every Genius and every Beauty has a right to draw in proportion to their merit, from a Minister of State and a Maid of Honour, down to a Chien Savant or a Covent Garden Mistress, To Conclude, my Business in this Land may be Sum’d up in a few Words; it is to get your money and cure you of Your Foibles. for wherever Pasquin comes the Public is his Patient; its Folly his Support. (bows) So much by way of Oratia now for Action— then for Peroration.

Hollo! Marforio! (goes to the door).

Enter Marforio.

Mar: Here my Fellow Labourer!

Pas: Have you prepared for general Search?

Mar: I have— but let me once more entreat you to alter your design. do not behave with your usual Sacasm and boldness upon your first appearance. Strive to gain the favour of the Public by Morality and Panegyrick— not by undaunted Satyr—

Pas: Marforio, We are come to England to make Our Fortune by Our parts, And you Advise to begin with Morality and Flattery. You might as well Advise a Soldier to make his Fortune by Cowardice. No Sir, he, who wou’d gain the Esteem of a Brave, a wise, and a free people, must lash their Vices, and laugh at their Folies.

Mar: Well, if you must be Satyrical, confine Your Satyr to the City.

Pas: No, I’ll begin at the Source. the Bourgoie is but the Ape of the Courtier; Correct the one, the other Mends of Course. I will Scour the whole Circle of this metropolis[A]; not a tilted Sharpor, or a fair Libertine, but I will Gibbet in Effigie. Birth Privilege or Quality shall not be a Sanction to the ignominious Practices of the one, nor shall Fashion or Beauty be a Skreen for the Folly or Indecency of the other. Tho’ they elude the Laws of Westminster, they shall not escape the Lash of Parnassus. Here we have no Inquisition, no Bastile, no Rasp House, to dread. So without a Single hesitation more of Doubt or fear, let us at once plunge into Action.— Go you & take a Set of proper Officers with you and, by a Warrant from Appollo, Search every disorderly House in Town. Routs, drums, and Assemblies, particularly the den.

Mar: It shall be done. (Exit Marforio)

Pas: O thou, who first explored and dar’d to laugh at Public Folly; Sweet facetious Lucian, Father of Gibes and laughing Ridicule Inspire thy Votary, teach me this Night to draw a Striking Likeness in which the free born Britons may behold their Beauties and Deformities as perfectly as the Inquisitive Eye does its own Image in the faithful Mirror!

Enter Marforio.

Pas: What brings you back?

Mar: I met the Town at the Stage door & return’d to give you Notice, that they may not Surprize you.

Pas: I am glad they are come, what sort of Humour are they in.

Mar: Seemingly in a good one. But in roaring Spirits and in high Expectation of Riot and Fun as they term it.

Hydra. behind the Scenes

Hyd: Where, where, which way! here, this Way, this way Ladies. this way.

Pas: Here they come, begone— leave them to Me— Proceed you in your Search.

Mar: I shall. (Exit)

Hyd: This way, this way Ladies.

Pas: I’ll retire, till I see what humour they are in (retires).

Enter Hydra, Miss Brilliant &
Stage-Keeper.

Stage. M^r. Hydra Servant.

Serv^t: Here (this Serv^t: be on from the begining)

Hyd: This way Madam.

Brill: Well do you know M^r. Hydra that I am upon the Tip-toe of Expectation to know what this Medley can be?

Hyd: Upon Honour so am I— quite upon the Rack, but where is the rest of Our Party? Miss Bashfull here’s mighty good Room. Bob Smart won’t you hand miss Bashfull to her Place.

Enter Bob Smart.

Bob. Upon Honour I cannot prevail upon her to come on. She’s Affraid the Audience will take her for one of the Actresses and hiss her.

Omn: Ha, ha, ha, ridiculous.

Brill. Dear Creature come on. Lord I have Sat upon the Stage a hundred times (pulls her on) and if they should take us for some of the Characters in the Farce. I vow I should be glad of it.

Bob: Upon Honour so Should I.

Bash. O Lud, I should instantly faint away if they took me for an Actress.

Brill. Ha— ha— ha— O Lud I protest there’s S^r. Conjecture Possitive. in the Musick Place.

Bash. Upon Honour so he is.

Brill. S^r: Conjecture your Servant, won’t you come up to Us? we’ll make Room for You.

S^r. Conjecture in the Musick Room.

S^r. Con: Miss your humble I am afraid so many of us upon the Stage will offend the Audience.

Brill. O not at all, It is in the Bills that the Town are to Sit upon the Stage, & sure Sir Conjecture the World must Allow you to be a Principall Character amongst Us.

S^r. Con: The World is very kind Madam. I’ll do my Self the Honour to attend you.

Bash. Pray Miss Brilliant do you know who this Pasquin is?

Brill. Yes Child; he is one of the Heathen Gods; Iupiter’s Grandfather. You may read a particular Account of him my dear, in Homer, or Milton, or any of the Greek Poets (pulls out a Bill of the Farce) well I vow its a Whimsicall Bill this; a charming Puff. Lud where’s Sir Conjecture? I suppose he can give us a particular Account of it. for he knows every thing.

Hyd: You mean Miss he pretends to know every thing..

Brill. Why that is as Pleasant to him M^r. Hydra, as if he really had knowledge, he is a strange conceited Coxcomb to be sure, but entertaining. I wonder his Character was never introduced upon the Stage, he is a most ridiculous Fellow.

Enter S^r. Conjecture

S^r. Con: Ha— ha— ha— who is that dear Miss is a ridiculous Fellow.

Omn: Ha— ha— ha—

Brill: O Lud, I hope he did not here me (apart)

Omn: Ha— ha— ha,

Brill: Why this— a— a— Macklin, Macklin,— or Pasquin— or Drawcansir— or who ever it was that writ this Play Bill.

S^r. Con: It is a Puff, a Puff— a Puff, a very good Puff upon Honour, like Woodward’s lick at the Town last year. I am afraid tho’ All the Wit of the Author is in the Bill, ha, ha, ha.

Omn: Ha, ha, ha.

Brill: Now upon Honour I like it for it’s Novelty.

Bob: And upon Honour I shall damn it for it’s Novelty, ev’ry Man in his Humour as the Play says.

Hyd: Ha, ha, well said Bob.

Brill: But the Pit, Boxes and Gallery’s doing their parts for their Diversion, that’s what puzzles me.

Hyd: Lord, that’s all a Puff. he’ll have some body upon the Stage to represent them.

S^r. Con: No, no, no, you are out, you are out, he is to have one of the Actors in the Pitt; who is to Speak from thence— See there— there he is the very Actor— You may See him from hence— he sits next to that very handsome Gentleman that looks like a Iew’s Bastard.

Omn: Ha, ha, ha— I see him, I see him.

S^r. Con: And there’s one of the Actresses some where or other in the Front Boxes;— She’s a New Woman— very handsome they say, one Miss Tweezeldon. I wish we cou’d find her out.

Hyd: I can’t see her;— unless that be She with the White teeth that laughs so heartily, and is playing with her Fan.

S^r. Conj. I believe that is She; yes, yes, that is she I am Possitive, for she blushes at Our Speaking of her, but we shall put her out of Countenance.— Ladies we should not let the Audience so far into the Secret; it will not be fair;— come let us Step into the Green Room for a Moment— I want to have a little Chat with this Pasquin.

Brill: Miss Bashfull come Child we’ll go into the Green Room. were you ever there.

Bash: Never Madam.

Brill: Come then I’ll shew it you.

Bash: O with all my heart— I long to See the Green Room; I have often heard of it— they say the Actresses paint Prodigiously— I shou’d like of all things to see them near.

S^r. Con: Come Ladies if you please I’ll Introduce you.

Exeunt.

Enter Pasquin.

Pas: So there they go,— the choice Spirits, the Infalibles, who preside at all Public Diversions; and on whom the Fate of Pasquin this Night depends.

Hyd:Where is he, where is this Drawcansir	within
Romp.This way Sir, on the Stage.

Hyd: (Running up to him with great Ceremony) Seignior Pasquin— Drawcansir— Censor of great Britain, your Satyrical Mightiness is welcome to London. and now Sir, as you and I are to be very intimate to night, pray, Sir, give me leave to have the Honour of introducing my self to you.

Pas: Sir you do me great Honour.

Hyd: I am Sir, for my Taste in Public Diversions, honoured with the facetious Appellation of the Town.— but my real Name is Iack Hydra. for these many Years, Sir, I have been the North Star of the Pit; by which All Criticks have Steered their Iudgement: And am Sir at the Head of the Genii who direct the Public,— We decide between contending Toasts, pass Iudgement upon Actors, damn, or encourage Authors; and are the Bucks, my dear, that I fancy will do for you to Night.

Pas: Sir of the Infallibility and Power of the Town I am very well apprized; therefore I have invited you this Night, that my Proceedings may have the Sanction of your Approbation. for whatever the Town disapproves I shall my self Condemn.

Hyd: But harkee Pasquin, prithy what is this Humbug. Bill of Yours about it; Why how the Devil will you gett off your Promise of the Pit, Boxes, and Galleries, performing their parts for their Diversion

Pas: As the Politicious say Sir, you are a little premature in your Question. Puffing S^r: & the Drama have their Arcana’s as well as Love or Politics. I’ll engage the Pit, Boxes, and Galleries perform their parts to a Numerous and Polite Audience, and with Universal Applause. As soon as they shall hear the Cue depend upon it you’ll hear them Speak.

Hyd: Well Sir, Preliminaries being Settled I will now individually introduce, to your censorial Highness, the Genii who are to Sit upon you.

Pas: Sir, I shall think my self highly honour’d in their Acquaintance.

Omn: (within) Where is he, where is he? what, upon the Stage, ha, ha, ha. (as they all press to come on Hydra stops them)

Hyd: Nay, nay, softly, softly Gentlemen, & I’ll Introduce You all if you will have Patience! One at a time, You must come on but one at a time.

Omn: Ay, ay, one at a time, keep back, keep back; pray keep back; We shall have the Audience hiss us.

Enter Bob Smart.

Hyd: The first Character I have the Honour to introduce to your Highness is the facetious Bob Smart, a professed Wit and Critic; no Man knows the Intrigues of the Court, the Theatres, or the City better, No Man has a finer Taste in the Belle’ Letters, for he is deemed one of the best Gentlemen Harlequins in Europe, and is an Emminent Orator at the Robin Hood Society.

Bob: Yes, Seignior, I am little Bob Smart at your Service; did you ever hear of me Abroad?

Pas: Often, often Sir.

Bob: I thought so; have you got ever a Harlequin in this Farce of yours, M^r. Drawcansir?

Pas: No Sir.

Bob: Then you’ll be damn’d Sir. by your Bills I thought there was a Pantomime in it. I wish you had consulted me, I have wrote two— And a Parcell of us intend next Winter to have one of the Theatres, and to treat the Public with the finest Pantomime that ever was seen, in Immitation of the Gentlemen Who Play’d Othello.

Omn: Ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo (at the side of the Scenes)

Bob: Don’t you think it will exceed Othello?

Pas: Certainly Sir; and be a much more rational Entertainment, and what will Shew your Genius to vast Advantage.

Bob: I am to do the Harlequin in it, tidi, doldi, doldi, doldi dee, tidi, doldi, doldi, doldi dee (Sings & dances the Harlequin.)

Omn: Ha, ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo.

Bob: Do you think that will do Seignior?

Pas: To Admiration.

Bob: I practice it three Hours evry Morning, but what is the Nature of this Farce of yours? have you any Smart, ridiculous, droll Fellows in it ha!

Pas: No Sir. they are all polite, Sensible, decent, Characters such as yours!

Bob. Nay Igad if they are like me I’ll engage they’ll make the public laugh.— for by all that’s drole I always Set the Coffee House in a Roar when I am there, he! don’t I Hydra.

Hyd: Why you are the very Yorick of the Age.

Bob: Igad I have more humour than Foot a thousand times; and I’ll lay a Chaldron of Guineas to a Nutshell that my Pantomime, is a better thing than his Taste. I think I have some Fun in me demme.

Hyd: This M^r. Pasquin is the Noted S^r. Conjecture Possitive; a Gentleman who was never in an Error in his Life,— consequently cou’d never be convinced. S^r. he understands Politics and Butterflies, Whale fishing and Cricket, Fortification and Shittle Cock; Poetry and Wolf Dogs; in short ev’ry thing, in ev’ry Art and Science, from a Pins Head, to the Longitude & Philosopher’s Stone, better than any Man in Europe.

S^r. Con: O Fye, M^r. Hydra, you are too lavish, M^r. Pasquin will think you are imposing upon him.

Hyd: Sir, he has such Segacity and Penetration that he can decypher a Lady’s Affections, or a Statesman’s Heart by a glance of the Eye; and has such profound critical Knowledge that he can pronounce upon a New Play the Moment he has heard the first Speech of it.

S^r. Con: M^r. Hydra is apt to think too well of his Friends Abilities M^r. Pasquin;— it is his Foible; But however, I have some knowledge— I am not in the common herd of Critics. I can give a tollerable Guess at most of the Productions in Art and Nature.

Pas: I believe it Sir; for your Mein, & Countenance, Dress and mannor of speaking, are an Index of Sagacity and Penetration.

S^r. Con: I shall give you my Opinion very freely; I know you intend to bring on some particular Characters from Our End of the Town— Cap^t. Crimp— Match Count Hunt-Bubble & that Knot— To be sure they are all Sharpers, and deserve to be exposed— but, they are what are called Men of Fashion— You had better let them alone— they are a Nest of Hornets— You may be Stung to death by them— they’ll damn your Piece if they can do nothing else

Enter Miss Bashfull.

Pas: Sir, I thank you for your Caution— I shall Act with Prudence.

Hyd: This, Sir, is Miss Bashfull, who is under the Tuition of Miss Brilliant, A Novice at present, but will in Time make a Shining Figure— For She’s a Genius— but not ripe yet.

Bas. I, I, I, I,— Assure You M^r. Pasquin— I— I— I am mightily pleased with your Bill about A, a, aristo— pha— nes and— Paskee— in— des. and the Per— oration, I reckon they are very Comical— Your hble. S^r.

Pas: Your Servant Madam.

Bash: (To Miss Brilliant) Well I never Spoke to a Poet before! Lord how frightened I was.

Enter Miss Brilliant.

Lord M^r. Hydra, I should laugh if the Audience shou’d take me for one of the Actresses— but if they do I don’t care; for I am resolved I’ll See this Farce if I never See another.

Hyd: This M^r. Pasquin is the Sprightly Miss Brilliant, a Lady who pants to be acquainted with you; She is intimate with M^r. Garrick— is known to the Fool, corresponds with Sir Alexander Drawcansir, and has writ several Admired Inspectors.

Brill: Yes, M^r. Pasquin the World is kind enough to say my Friend Prometheus has given me a little Flame, a small Portion— A Spark— A Ray of the Etherial— that’s all. I wish you wou’d come and breakfast with me One Morning. I wou’d shew you a little thing that wou’d please you, it is but a Trifle;— but it is neat— something like Sapho— a Ia ne se quoi— Do you know the Inspector.

Pas: No Madam.

Brill: Nor the Fool.

Pas: No Madam.

Brill. Nor Sir Alexander.

Pas: I am not so happy Madam.

Brill. I’ll make them your Friends— If I see them here to Night, I’ll Introduce them to you. I am intimate with all the Genii in Town. but prithee what is this Piece of yours? it has excited vast Curiosity. Is it after the Manner of Aristophanes— or Fielding— or Foot’s Pieces— don’t tell me— I won’t have my Pleasure Anticipated— but I assure I shall applaud— I am mighty glad I don’t know what it is— It is much pleasanter to be Surprized be it good or bad.

Enter Sir Eternal Grin.

Hyd: This, M^r. Pasquin is Sir Eternal Grin. He is what is call’d a good natured Man & extremely well bred— So Polite he never frownd in his Life.

Grin. No, never in my Life I assure you M^r. Pasquin.

Hyd: He is an uncommon Favourite with the Ladies, And is never so happy as when they employ him.

Grin. No never Sir. ha, ha.

Hyd: His whole Life is spent in their Service, ev’ry Morning you may See him running from Play House to Play House, regulating the Box Book in Consequence of the Commissions he recieved over night for Places. that done he hurrys away to mill their Chocolate, toast their Muffins, make their Tea, and wait on them to the Mercers— In the Evening you may See him in every part of the Play-House, handing then in and Out, and between every Act, whisking from Box to Box; whispering News and Appointments. thence to half a dozen, Drums and Routs; where, after loosing to them at Cards ’till two in the Morning, he has the happiness of seeing the dear Creatures to their Chairs, and then goes home as happy, as an Author after a Successfull first Night.

Grin. ’Tis true M^r. Pasquin as M^r. Hydra says my whole Life is devoted to the Service of the Fair. therefore I hope there is no Indelicacy, no severity, Satyr, or Ridicule against them in your Piece. if there be you must not take it Ill if I head a Party to damn it. ha, ha, ha.

Pas. Sir, I never Pollute my Productions with Invectives against the Fair. I am to the best of my poor Abilities, their constant Advocate. he, he, he, he. (laughing & Mimicking him).

Grin. Why then I am your Friend to perpetuity: as to other Characters you may take what Liberty you please with them. there is Hydra an Admiral Character— he pretends to Taste— but he is ignorant as— dear Sir I can furnish you with a thousand such ridiculous Wretches so that you need not have recourse to the Ladies.

Pas: Sir I shall take particular Notice of Your Advice, and follow it implicitly. and shall be Obliged to you for a few Characters.

Grin. I’ll send them to you depend upon it, your Servant (turns to the Company) this Pasquin is a very Sensible Fellow, and I believe will Please the Public— for he minds what the Iudicious say to him.

Enter Sir Roger Ringwood.

S^r. Rog: Haux, haux, haux! hido, hido. Iack Hydra, yours.— What is this ancient Chorus begun yet? this Farce after the manner of Aristotle and all the Heathen Gods.— Zounds I am come twenty Miles, from a red-hot-Fox Chace, on purpose to see it. What the Devil is this Hotch-Potch? a Pantomime, or a Tragedy? I believe I shall Salute it with a Seranade— tip it dead Hollow Haux, haux, dead, dead, dead & damned— but who is this Pasquin?

Hyd: If you please I’ll introduce you to him.

S^r. Rog: With all my heart.

Hyd: Sir this is the famous S^r. Roger Ringwood. a five bottle Man I assure you; remarkable for his Taste in dramatic Performances, & the loudest Voice that ever damn’d a Play.

S^r. Rog: Hem (Hems very loud) yes I have pretty good Lungs. hido, hido!

Hyd. S^r: I have known him fright a whole Box of Ladies into Fits with One blast of his Voice; drive the whole Party of an Author’s Friends out of the Pit, with the tremendous Courage of a few Oaths; and have frequently heard him harangue an Audience on a first night with as much Applause as every Tully did the Romans— Sir Roger this is y^e Celebrated Seignior Pasquin.

S^r. Rog: Hum! dam me he looks like Mahomet Charratha going to dance the Rope. harkee Seignior— what is this Medley of yours? this Covent Garden Theatre? Is it in Italian?

Pas: No, Sir.

S^r. Rog: In French?

Pas: Neither Sir.

S^r. Rog: Neither— Why what the Devil Language is it in then?

Pas: English Sir.

S^r. Rog: English! Zounds I never heard of any English Farce with Greek Chorus’s before. I reckon it is damn’d low Stuff.

Q Scrib: That it is I’ll answer for it before I see it.

S^r. Rog: Harkee, Seignor, be it Tragedy or Farce I don’t Care a Hare’s Scut, so there is but Fun in it. but none of your French Fricassies according to Rule! haux, haux, my honies; give us a fair Burst of Fun, my dear, & we’ll follow you for fifty nights end-ways, haux, haux, something of the Antients now— Something of a— a— old Shakespear, or Horace, or Homer, or Ben Johnson, as they have at Drury Lane. do you hear— Something that way & I’ll engage it takes. but if it is any of your New Moral Stuff, according to Rule, I shall Tip it a dead Hollow, (Hollows) think of that and be dull if you dare.

Pas: Certainly such a Iudicious Patron as S^r. Roger Ringwood, must inspire both an Author and an Actor.

Enter Miss Diana Single-Life.

Hyd: This is Miss Diana Single-Life, a maiden Lady of Youth, Beauty, Chastity, & Erudition: who has read more Romances, Novels, Poems & Plays, than there are Acts of Parliament in y^e English Language.

Diana: Yes, M^r. Pasquin I may venture to say, with the Strictest Propriety, that I have read as much as any Lady that has Existed in the Circle of Literature.— not the great Daicer excepted: but I hope M^r. Pasquin you have nothing in your Exhibition that is Shocking to Chastity, no double Entendres in your Examinations; If you have I shall certainly explode them. You must know I was once perswaded to go to hear a Tryal for a Rape— I vow I blush at the bare mention of the Word— what wou’d you have of it— in short I went;— but I thought I shou’d have Swoon’d away upon the Spot, the Tryal was so full of double Entendres, and what the filthy Lawyers call— Rems in Re— —

Omn: Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Pas: Madam, you may assure your self that the Virgin Particles of Your Modesty shall never be Agitated by the Amorous Transparancy of Pasquin’s Obscenity. (Mimicking her)

Hyd: Look, look, if the impudent Rogue is not taking the Old Maid Off to her face, & she does not See it.

Omn: Ha, ha, ha.

Dia. Sir, I am your humble—

Pas. Your devoted—

Dia. And immense Admirer.

Pas. And superlatively honour’d humble Servant.

(She is going to the Company but
turns short to Pasquin)

Dia. O M^r. Pasquin I had like to have forgot, I must give you a hint, as you intend to Satyrize the vicious & the ridiculous, that may be useful to you. that Lady You See there is the greatest Coquet in Town. She is the Noted Miss Brilliant that is Supposed to be well with his Grace, and the Old General— there are several others talk’d of, but the World you know is censorious— Upon my Honour I don’t believe any Body but his Grace and the General ever had any Connexion with her.

Pas. Your Ladyship is very tender in thinking so— but it is certain Sir Harry and she were least together in a Bagnio one Masquerade Night.

Dia. Why, that I knew to be true, M^r. Pasquin, but I did not care to say all I know, because I wou’d not be thought Censorious— that Young Lady with her, Miss Bashful, has a very fine Boy at Nurse, above half a year Old. but very few Knew any thing of it.— And she is now going to be marry’d to the North Country Knight— It wou’d be pity to speak of it— She will pass upon him— he’s a very great Blockhead and She is good enough for him— For he was not born in Wedlock himself.

Pas. They will be a very proper Match, Madam.

Dia. Most proper, Your humble Servant Seignior.

Pas. Your Lordships most Obedient.

Hyd. This, M^r. Pasquin, is a plain honest Citizen. He is called honest Solomon Common Sense; If you can please him, and make him Your friend, he can influence a large Number in your Favour; which will be of more Service to you than the Approbation of all the Pitt— Maitres, Critics, and Wou’d-be Witts, from S^t. James’s to White Chappel.

Pas. I have often heard of the Gentleman, he is in great Esteem amongst Our best Critics abroad, and I shall make it my particular Study to merit his Approbation.

Com. M^r. Pasquin you have it already. I like your manner of exposing the Follies of the Public extremely. Your making the Theatre the Scene of Action, and the Censure and Approbation of the Audience the Chorusses to your Characters upon the Stage, is quite New, and very happily immagin’d. But now you have made us acquainted with your Characters. I think the sooner you throw them into Action and come to a Conclusion the better.

Pas. Sir your Criticism is very just; And if Marforio is return’d I will proceed to an Examination of the Culprits and close for this night. (Goes to y^e side of the Scene) Promptor, is Marforio come back?

Prom. No Sir.

Pas. Gentlemen & Ladies, I cannot possibly proceed till he returns. I reckon he will be here in about five Minutes; till then I shall take it as a Favour if you will step into the Green Room; and, in the mean time The Musick, by way of Act Tune, may play God save Great George Our King, to keep the Audience in Humour.

Omn: Admirable! with all Our Hearts. God save the King. (Ex^t Singing God save Great George)