ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS.
It is considered very rude not to reply to an invitation immediately, either by note of acceptance or regret.
In writing acceptances one should never use “will accept” for “accepts,” or “to dinner” instead of “for dinner” or “to dine.”
In accepting a dinner invitation one should repeat the hour named in order that, if any mistake has been made, it may be corrected.
An acceptance may be written as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Frank Warren accept with pleasure Mrs. John Somers’ kind invitation for Monday evening, October seventh.
The following is a good form for a note of regret:
Mr. and Mrs. James Swift regret that, owing to sickness, they are unable to accept Mrs. Frank Hall’s kind invitation for Monday evening, March 16th.
In writing regrets, when it is possible to do so, one should give the reason for not accepting an invitation.
The best bred people agree that an invitation to a wedding reception or a wedding breakfast demands a response, whether or not a response is requested. But it is another question when one receives only an invitation to a church ceremony, or merely an announcement card with no “at home” card enclosed, and does not know the bride and groom well enough to call. If the cards are sent merely as a matter of courtesy because of business relations or on account of a former intimacy in the families, a call does not seem necessary. In such cases one must judge more or less for herself, and do what seems natural. If one lives in a small place and the bride comes there as a stranger, it is generally the best way to call, whatever be the form of the cards received.
Formal invitations to a church wedding do not demand an answer, unless one is requested, until the day of the ceremony, when those unable to attend acknowledge the invitation with visiting cards addressed to the father and mother of the bride, or to whoever sends out the invitations for the wedding. Invitations to a wedding reception and a bride’s “At Home” demand no other acknowledgment than visiting cards sent on the day of the function by those unable to attend. A formal invitation to a house wedding demands the same acknowledgment as an invitation to a church wedding.
In acknowledging an invitation to a wedding, a single woman sends one of her visiting cards in an envelope addressed to the mother and father of the bride on the day of the wedding. A single man sends two of his cards, and a married couple send one of the wife’s and two of the husband’s cards. To the bride on her “At Home” day, cards should be sent in exactly the same way. A wedding reception, if it takes place in the evening, demands full dress.
It is very courteous to acknowledge the reception of a “commencement” invitation.
It is very bad form to write “Congratulations” on one’s visiting card and send it in answer to a wedding invitation. If one desires to send her good wishes to the bride, then a personal note would be proper.
It is also bad form to send a visiting card with “Regrets” written in one corner instead of writing the proper note.
If, having accepted an invitation, one changes her mind, she certainly ought to give some reason when writing a note of apology.