LETTERS.
In writing letters and notes of invitation, acceptance, regrets, or introduction, certain and specific rules of etiquette, ordained by custom, hold despotic sway; and unless one is acquainted with these, he must be considered by those who are, as more or less uncultivated.
In addressing an envelope one surely ought to know that the first line of the address should be at or below the middle of the envelope, and the address should be written in a plain hand devoid of flourishes. The place for the stamp is always the upper right-hand corner.
In no way is one’s culture sooner made known than by his manner of writing a note or letter.
In a formal business letter or in one commencing “Dear Sir” or “Dear Madam,” the name of the person addressed is put at the end of the letter in the left-hand corner, but it should not be repeated, if it is used at the head of the letter.
The writing of notes in the third person is now confined to notes of invitations, acceptance, and regret.
Nothing would show greater ignorance than signing one’s name to a note written in the third person.
In addressing a clergyman it is customary to commence with “Reverend Sir.” Doctors of Divinity and of Medicine are thus distinguished: “The Rev. James Swift, D. D.,” or “Rev. Dr. Swift;” “I. G. Latham, M. D.,” or “Dr. Latham.”
In writing to servants, it is customary to begin thus: “To Mary Bates,—Mrs. White wishes, etc.”
When a woman is writing to strangers who will not know whether to address her in reply as “Mrs.” or “Miss,” the address of the writer should be given in full, after signing her letter, as, “Mrs. Jane Smith,” followed by the direction; or, if unmarried, the “Miss” should be placed in marks of parenthesis preceding the signature. One should never sign her name as “Mrs.” or “Miss.”
The formal manner of address in a note or letter written in the first person, is, “My Dear Mrs. Brown;” the less formal is “Dear Mrs. Brown.” To an intimate friend one may use either. “Dear Mary” is less formal than “My Dear Mary,” and yet to one who is near, the real significance of the latter form is very sweet and full of tender meaning. However, there are no rigid laws to regulate the correspondence of friends.
When a woman writes a personal note to a man, no matter how slight her acquaintance may be with him, it should begin “My Dear Mr. Brown.”
Ordinary social correspondence, when forwarded by the hand of an adult socially equal with the sender, should not be sealed. If, for some reason, a letter must be sealed, then the post or some other method of letter conveyance should be used.
The form “Addressed” on an envelope is merely the relic of an old legal form that has no especial significance nowadays, but is put on the envelope as a matter of courtesy. It means that the contents of the envelope are for the person whose name is written on the outside. It is very seldom used, and is quite superfluous.
Only letters of unmarried women and widows are addressed with their baptismal names. All letters of married women should bear their husband’s names; as, “Mrs. John Howe.”
Writing on the first, then on the third, then crosswise on the second and fourth pages of a letter, facilitates the reading and is in perfectly good form.
It is very bad taste for a doctor’s wife to assume his title. An invitation addressed to them should read “Dr. and Mrs. Jones.”
One should not write “Mrs. John Brown, née Lottie Smith,” because one is not born with a Christian name; instead, one would write “Mrs. John Brown, née Smith.”
The use of perfumed stationery is not general, nor is it in good taste.
Any letter of congratulation received, even though it be from a person with whom one has only a slight acquaintance, requires an answer.
No matter how fond a young girl may feel of a man whom she has known for years, any letters, when trouble comes to his family, should be addressed to his wife and not to him.
The fashion that obtains with reference to placing the date on a letter is to place it in the upper right-hand corner; on a note it is usually placed in the lower left-hand corner.
A young girl who receives letters from a man at the post-office without the knowledge of her mother is doing something wrong, which in time she will certainly regret, and which, it is equally certain, will result in trouble.
It is not in the best taste to write letters of friendship on the typewriter, but it will always be excused in the busy woman.