SERVANTS AND SERVING.
There is so much to say upon the subject of servants, notwithstanding so much has already been said, it is difficult to know where to begin. But, in the first place, every woman should remember that servants are, like herself, human, and that in our free America, they are becoming very independent, not to say self-assertive. Thus a house mistress has no small matter to deal with when she demands obedience and respectful attention from girls who are generally ignorant, and often impudent and ill-bred. The greatest strength of the mistress lies in her power to control herself, and while she must demand respectfulness from her servants, she can often avoid a clash with them by using a little tact. If they are treated in a kind, though dignified, manner, unless very degenerate, they will usually respond satisfactorily.
One can speak, with perfect propriety, of the one servant employed as “the maid,” but not as “our girl.”
Servants should be expected to dress neatly, and where there is but one, she should have a clean white apron ready to put on when answering the door-bell, being prepared with a tray to receive the caller’s card. She should also know, before answering the bell, who is in and who is not at home, and what excuse, if any, to make for each one called for.
Servants should never be allowed to call any member of the family from a distance, as from the foot of the stairs, but should go to the one to whom she wishes to speak, and deliver her message.
It is hard to say, under all circumstances, what to expect of a nursery governess, and what should be her privileges. To treat her with the greatest consideration is well worth while; for one is compensated in being able to get an intelligent, ladylike woman who may be trusted to guide her charges wisely. One may ask a governess to sleep in the same room with the children, dress and undress them, eat with them, and teach them, and take the entire charge of them; but, of course, one will provide some attractive place for her to sit during the evening, while the children are asleep in her room. It is also necessary to see that her meals are well cooked and carefully served, and to permit her to be free one afternoon and evening every week. She should be addressed as “Miss Smith,” not by her first name.
It is expedient to supervise the work of the general house-work servant as much as possible; and if it is more convenient for her to go up the front stairs to announce callers, and to go down them to answer the front door, certainly allow her to use the front stairs instead of the back ones on occasions. A waitress or parlor-maid is no more privileged to use the front stairs than a general house-work servant. A nurse may be, with propriety, wherever her charges are allowed.
If a maid is expected to wear a cap, it is usually furnished by the lady of the house.
It is good form to address the servants one knows when entering a house, and to thank them for any attention.
It is unfortunate that the English system of feeing has come into vogue here. But it is quite customary now, for a guest, after a visit, even a short one, to bestow upon a servant a small fee, say, of a dollar.
CHAPTER VII.
Funerals, Mourning.
Civility implies self-sacrifice; it is the last touch, the crowning perfection of a noble character.—Mathews.