NAMES OF MARRIED WOMEN.
“I am glad the Tribune has spoken out on this question, and had it gone further and included names as well as titles in its criticisms it would have done better. It has become so much the fashion for women to call themselves and to be known by their husbands’ names and titles that a woman’s Christian name is seldom heard or known. Why a woman as soon as she is married is willing to drop the good name of Mary or Elizabeth and take that of John, Thomas or Harry I never could understand. And as to titles, why a woman should be called Mrs. General, Mrs. Colonel, Mrs. Captain or Mrs. Judge I don’t know except it be on the principle that husband and wife are one and that one the husband, and the wife is his appendage and must be known by his title instead of having an individuality of her own.
“So far is this matter of appropriating names and titles carried, that women retain them after the death of the husbands and call themselves Mrs. Colonel or Mrs. Doctor when there is no such doctor or colonel in existence. It would seem as though, the man being dead, his title would die with him and henceforth his wife assume her Christian name.
“Quite recently an inquiry came to me from New York for the Christian name of a woman who had been quite prominent. On looking over letters and papers bearing her name I found that in every instance she had used her husband’s initials, and it was only after sending a postal with the inquiry one hundred and fifty miles that I learned her name and transmitted it to New York. This is but one instance of the many where women use the name of the husband with ‘Mrs.’ prefixed whenever they have occasion to write their names.
“But women are not alone to blame in the matter. The press does its part to keep up what the Tribune calls a vulgar custom. We have an instance at hand. Only a short time ago the daily press announced that ‘Mrs. Colonel C. S. Chase, of Omaha, is very ill.’ And again a short time after it announced ‘the death of Mrs. Colonel Chase,’ thus following the woman to the grave with her husband’s name and title. She was not a colonel, had never been a colonel, and it surely would have been more proper to say Mary, the wife of Col. Chase. Doubtless all have fallen into the custom thoughtlessly.
“Where a woman has earned a title of her own, it is right that she should be called by it, and I see no reason why the prefix of Mrs. should always be attached. It would be quite improper to say Mr. Doctor Green; then why should we say Mrs. Doctor Hilton?
“There are cases where it may be allowable and necessary to use the husband’s initials when naming or addressing his wife, but usually it is best for her to retain and be known by the name her parents gave her. The name or title of her husband gives no additional dignity or character to her, and it sinks her own individuality in him; which no woman should allow.
“Ever since the world began all women of note have been known by their own Christian names. Adam named his wife Eve and we have no account of her ever being called Mrs. Adam. Victoria of England has never called herself Mrs. Albert Saxe-Coburg, nor has Eugénie been known as Mrs. Emperor Louis Napoleon. Go back through all history and all married queens, all members of royal houses, all married women of any distinction such as artists, authors, scholars, teachers, actresses, singers, etc., have ever been known and called by their Christian names. In our own day and country this is the universal custom. Lydia H. Sigourney, Emma Willard, Margaret Fuller Ossoli, Lucretia Mott, Frances D. Gage, Mary A. Livermore, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Paulina W. Davis, Isabella Beecher Hooker, Lucy Stone Blackwell, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Celia Burleigh, and a host of others of equal or less note never called themselves Mrs. John, Mrs. Tom and Mrs. Henry. Anna Mary Howitt, Dinah Maria Muloch, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning may be given as instances of English writers who have seen fit to drop their own names and adopt the Christian name and title of their husbands. The wife of our first president is known and revered in memory as Martha Washington, instead of Mrs. George or Mrs. General Washington; and Susannah Wesley is far better known than Mrs. Rev. John Wesley.
“In law, women must use their own names and no document is legal unless it bears the Christian name of the woman who signed it. Her appointment to any office is always made in her own name and not that of her husband. And yet many women have gotten the idea that their husbands’ names and titles in some way add to their dignity and importance and so appropriate them to their own use.
“May the day soon come when all this will be done away and women bear honored titles of their own, earned and conferred, but not borrowed!
“A. B.”