The Colloquies of Erasmus, Volume I.

by Desiderius Erasmus

EUSEBIUS, TIMOTHY, THEOPHILUS, CHRYSOGLOTTUS, URANIUS, SOPHRONIUS, EULALIUS, THEODIDACTUS, NEPHALIUS.

Eu. I admire that any Body can delight to live in smoaky Cities, when every Thing is so fresh and pleasant in the Country.

Ti. All are not pleased with the Sight of Flowers, springing Meadows, Fountains, or Rivers: Or, if they do take a Pleasure in 'em, there is something else, in which they take more. For 'tis with Pleasure, as it is with Wedges, one drives out another.

Eu. You speak perhaps of Usurers, or covetous Traders; which, indeed, are all one.

Ti. I do speak of them; but not of them only, I assure you; but of a thousand other Sorts of People, even to the very Priests and Monks, who for the Sake of Gain, make Choice of the most populous Cities for their Habitation, not following the Opinion of Plato or Pythagoras in this Practice; but rather that of a certain blind Beggar, who loved to be where he was crowded; because, as he said, the more People, the more Profit.

Eu. Prithee let's leave the blind Beggar and his Gain: We are Philosophers.

Ti. So was Socrates a Philosopher, and yet he preferr'd a Town Life before a Country one; because, he being desirous of Knowledge, had there the Opportunity of improving it. In the Country, 'tis true, there are Woods, Gardens, Fountains and Brooks, that entertain the Sight, but they are all mute, and therefore teach a Man nothing.

Eu. I know Socrates puts the Case of a Man's walking alone in the Fields; although, in my Opinion, there Nature is not dumb, but talkative enough, and speaks to the Instruction of a Man that has but a good Will, and a Capacity to learn. What does the beautiful Face of the Spring do, but proclaim the equal Wisdom and Goodness of the Creator? And how many excellent Things did Socrates in his Retirement, both teach his Phædrus, and learn from him?

Ti. If a Man could have such pleasant Company, I confess, no life in the World could be pleasanter than a Country Life.

Eu. Have you a Mind to make Tryal of it? If you have, come take a Dinner with me to Morrow: I have a pretty neat little Country House, a little Way out of Town.

Ti. We are too many of us; we shall eat you out of House and Home.

Eu. Never fear that, you're to expect only a Garden Treat, of such Chear as I need not go to Market for. The Wine is of my own Growth; the Pompions, the Melons, the Figs, the Pears, the Apples and Nuts, are offered to you by the Trees themselves; you need but gape, and they'll fall into your Mouth, as it is in the fortunate Islands, if we may give Credit to Lucian. Or, it may be, we may get a Pullet out of the Hen-roost, or so.

Ti. Upon these Terms we'll be your Guests.

Eu. And let every Man bring his Friend along with him, and then, as you now are four, we shall be the just Number of the Muses.

Ti. A Match.

Eu. And take Notice, that I shall only find Meat, you are to bring your own Sauce.

Ti. What Sauce do you mean, Pepper, or Sugar?

Eu. No, no, something that's cheaper, but more savoury.

Ti. What's that?

Eu. A good Stomach. A light Supper to Night, and a little Walk to Morrow Morning, and that you may thank my Country House for. But at what Hour do you please to dine at?

Ti. At ten a Clock. Before it grows too hot.

Eu. I'll give Order accordingly.

Boy. Sir, the Gentlemen are come.

Eu. You are welcome, Gentlemen, that you are come according to your Words; but you're twice as welcome for coming so early, and bringing the best of Company along with you. There are some Persons who are guilty of an unmannerly Civility, in making their Host wait for them.

Ti. We came the earlier, that we might have Time enough to view all the Curiosities of your Palace; for we have heard that it is so admirably contrived every where, as that it speaks who's the Master of it.

Eu. And you will see a Palace worthy of such a Prince. This little Nest is to me more than a Court, and if he may be said to reign that lives at Liberty according to his Mind, I reign here. But I think it will be best, while the Wench in the Kitchen provides us a Salad, and it is the cool of the Morning, to take a Walk to see the Gardens.

Ti. Have you any other beside this? For truly this is a wonderful neat one, and with a pleasing Aspect salutes a Man at his entring in, and bids him welcome.

Eu. Let every Man gather a Nosegay, that may put by any worse Scent he may meet with within Doors. Every one likes not the same Scent, therefore let every one take what he likes. Don't be sparing, for this Place lies in a Manner common; I never shut it up but a-Nights.

Ti. St. Peter keeps the Gates, I perceive.

Eu. I like this Porter better than the Mercuries, Centaurs, and other fictitious Monsters, that some paint upon their Doors.

Ti. And 'tis more suitable to a Christian too.

Eu. Nor is my Porter dumb, for he speaks to you in Three Languages.

Ti. What does he say?

Eu. Read it yourself.

Ti. It is too far off for my Eyes.

Eu. Here's a reading Glass, that will make you another Lynceus.

Ti. I see the Latin. Si vis ad vitam ingredi, serva mandata, Mat. 19, 17. If thou wilt, enter into Life, keep the Commandments.

Eu. Now read the Greek.

Ti. I see the Greek, but I don't well know what to make on't; I'll refer that to Theophilus, who's never without Greek in his Mouth.

Th. [Greek: Metanoêsate kai epistrepsate. Praxeôn tô tritô.] Repent and be converted. Acts 3. 19.

Ch. I'll take the Hebrew upon myself, [Hebrew: vetsadik be'emunato yihyeh] And the Just shall live by Faithfulness.

Eu. Does he seem to be an unmannerly Porter, who at first Dash, bids us turn from our Iniquities, and apply our selves to Godliness, and then tells us, that Salvation comes not from the Works of the Law; but from the Faith of the Gospel; and last of all, that the Way to eternal Life, is by the Observance of evangelical Precepts.

Ti. And see the Chapel there on the right Hand that he directs us to, it is a very fine one. Upon the Altar there's Jesus Christ looking up to Heaven, and pointing with his right Hand towards God the Father, and the holy Spirit; and with his Left, he seems to court and invite all Comers.

Eu. Nor is he mute: You see the Latin; Ego sum via, veritas, et vita; I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. [Greek: Egô eimi to alpha kai to ômega.] In Hebrew, [Hebrew: Lechu banim shim'uh li, yr'at adonai alamdeichem] Come, ye Children, hearken unto me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Ti. Truly the Lord Jesus salutes us with a good Omen.

Eu. But that we may not seem uncivil, it is meet that we pay back an Acknowledgment, and pray that since we can do nothing of ourselves, he would vouchsafe of his infinite Goodness to keep us from ever straying out of the Path of Life; but that we casting away Jewish Ceremonies, and the Delusions of the World, he would guide us by the Truth of the Gospel to everlasting Life, drawing us of himself to himself.

Ti. It is most reasonable that we should pray, and the Place invites us to it.

Eu. The Pleasantness of the Garden draws a great many Persons to it; and 'tis a rare Thing that any Passes by Jesus without an Ejaculation. I have made him Keeper, not only of my Garden, but of all my Possessions, and of both Body and Mind, instead of filthy Priapus. Here is you see a little Fountain pleasantly bubbling with wholsome Waters, this in some Measure represents that only Fountain of Life, that by its divine Streams, refreshes all that are weary and heavy laden; which the Soul, tired with the Evils of this World, pants after, just as the Hart in the Psalmist does after the Water Brooks, having tasted of the Flesh of Serpents. From this Fountain, whoever thirsts, may drink gratis. Some make it a Matter of Religion to sprinkle themselves with it; and others for the Sake of Religion, and not of Thirst, drink of it. You are loath, I perceive, to leave this Place: But it is Time to go to see this little square Garden that is wall'd in, 'tis a neater one than the other. What is to be seen within Doors, you shall see after Dinner, when the Heat of the Sun keeps us at Home for some Hours like Snails.

Ti. Bless me! What a delightful Prospect is here.

Eu. All this Place was designed for a Pleasure Garden, but for honest Pleasure; for the Entertainment of the Sight, the recreating the Nostrils, and refreshing the Mind; nothing grows here but sweet Herbs, nor every Sort of them, but only choice ones, and every Kind has its Bed by itself.

Ti. I am now convinced that Plants are not mute with you.

Eu. You are in the Right; others have magnificent Houses, but mine is made for Conversation, so that I can never be alone in it, and so you'll say, when you have seen it all. As the several Plants are as it were form'd into several Troops, so every Troop has its Standard to itself, with a peculiar Motto, as this Marjoram's is, Abstine, sus, non tibi spiro: Keep off, Sow, I don't breathe my Perfume for thee; for though it be of a very fragrant Scent, yet Sows have a natural Aversion to it: And so every Sort has its Title, denoting the peculiar Virtue of the Plant.

Ti. I have seen nothing yet more delightful than this little Fountain, which being in the midst of them, does as it were smile upon all the Plants, and promises them Refreshment against the scorching Heat of the Sun. But this little Channel which shews the Water to the Eye so advantageously, and divides the Garden every where at such equal Distances, that it shews all the Flowers over on both Sides again, as in a Looking-glass, is it made of Marble?

Eu. Marble, quoth thee, how should Marble come hither? It is a counterfeit Marble, made of a sort of Loam, and a whitish Colour given it in the Glasing.

Ti. But where does this delicious Rivulet discharge itself at last?

Eu. Just as it is with human Obligations, when we have served our own Turns: After this has pleasured our Eyes, it washes our Kitchen, and passes through the Sink into the common Shore.

Ti. That's very hard-hearted, as I am a Christian.

Eu. It had been hard-hearted, if the divine Bounty of Providence had not appointed it for this Use. We are then hard-hearted, when we pollute the Fountain of divine Truth, that is much more pleasant than this, and was given us for the refreshing and purging our Minds from our Lusts and vicious Appetites, abusing the unspeakable Bounty of God: For we make no bad Use of the Water, if we put it to the several Uses for which he appointed it, who supplies every Thing abundantly for human Use.

Ti. You say right: But how comes it about, that all your artificial Hedges are green too?

Eu. Because I would have every Thing green here. Some are for a Mixture of Red, because that sets off Green: But I like this best, as every Man has his Fancy, though it be but in a Garden.

Ti. The Garden is very fine of itself; but methinks these three Walks take off very much from the Lightsomeness and Pleasantness of it.

Eu. Here I either study or walk alone, or talk with a Friend, or eat, as the Humour takes me.

Ti. Those speckled, wonderful, pretty party-coloured Pillars, that at equal Distances support that Edifice, are they Marble?

Eu. Of the same Marble that this Channel is made of.

Ti. In Truth, a pretty Cheat, I should have sworn they had been Marble.

Eu. For this Reason then, take Care that you neither believe, nor swear any Thing rashly: You see how a Man may be mistaken. What I want in Wealth, I supply by Invention.

Ti. Could you not be content with so neat, and well furnished a Garden in Substance, without other Gardens in Picture besides?

Eu. In the first Place, one Garden will not hold all Sorts of Plants; and in the second, 'tis a double Pleasure, to see a painted Flower vie with the Life; and in one we contemplate the Artifice of Nature, in the other the Skill of the Painter; and in both, the Goodness of God, who gives all Things for our Use, in every Thing equally admirable and amiable: And in the last Place, a Garden is not always green; nor the Flowers always fresh; but this Garden is fresh and green all the Winter.

Ti. But it is not fragrant.

Eu. But then on the other Hand it wants no dressing.

Ti. It only delights the Eye.

Eu. But then it does that always.

Ti. Pictures themselves grow old.

Eu. They do so; but yet they out-live us; and besides, whereas we are the worse for Age, they are the better for it.

Ti. That's too true, if it could be otherwise.

Eu. In this Walk that looks toward the West, I take the Benefit of the Morning Sun; in that which looks toward the East, I take the Cool of the Evening; in that which looks toward the South, but lies open to the North, I take Sanctuary against the Heats of the Meridian Sun; but we'll walk 'em over, if you please, and take a nearer View of them: See how green 'tis under Foot, and you have the Beauty of painted Flowers in the very Chequers of the Pavement. This Wood, that you see painted upon this Wall, affords me a great Variety of Prospect: For in the first Place, as many Trees as you see, so many Sorts of Trees you see; and all express'd to the Life. As many Birds as you see, so many Kinds you see; especially if there be any scarce Ones, and remarkable upon any Account. For as for Geese, Hens, and Ducks, it is not worth While to draw them. Underneath are four-footed Creatures, or such Birds as live upon the Ground, after the Manner of Quadrupedes.

Ti. The Variety indeed is wonderful, and every Thing is in Action, either doing or saying something. There's an Owl sits peeping through the Leaves, what says she?

Eu. She speaks Greek; she says, [Greek: Sôphronei, ou pasin hiptêmi], she commands us to act advisedly; I do not fly to all; because an inconsiderate Rashness does not fall out happily to all Persons. There is an Eagle quarrying upon a Hare, and a Beetle interceding to no Purpose; there is a Wren stands by the Beetle, and she is a mortal Enemy to the Eagle.

Ti. What has this Swallow got in her Mouth?

Eu. The Herb Celandine; don't you know the Plant? with it, she restores Sight to her blind young Ones.

Ti. What odd Sort of Lizard is this?

Eu. It is not a Lizard, but a Chamæleon.

Ti. Is this the Chamæleon, there is so much Talk of? I thought it had been a Beast twice as big as a Lion, and the Name is twice as long too.

En. This Chamæleon is always gaping, and always hungry. This is a wild Fig-Tree, and that is his Aversion. He is otherwise harmless; and yet the little gaping Creature has Poison in him too, that you mayn't contemn him.

Ti. But I don't see him change his Colour.

Eu. True; because he does not change his Place; when he changes his Place, you will see him change his Colour too.

Ti. What's the Meaning of that Piper?

Eu. Don't you see a Camel there dancing hard by?

Ti. I see a very pleasant Fancy; the Ape pipes, and the Camel dances.

Eu. But it would require at least three Days to run through the Particulars one by one; it will be enough at present to take a cursory View of them. You have in the first Spot, all Sorts of famous Plants painted to the Life: And to increase the Wonder, here are the strongest Poisons in the World, which you may not only look upon, but handle too without Danger.

Ti. Look ye, here is a Scorpion, an Animal very seldom seen in this Country; but very frequent in Italy, and very mischievous too: But the Colour in the Picture seems not to be natural.

Eu. Why so?

Ti. It seems too pale methinks; for those in Italy are blacker.

Eu. Don't you know the Herb it has fallen upon?

Ti. Not very well.

Eu. That's no Wonder, for it does not grow in these Parts: It is Wolf's-bane, so deadly a Poison, that upon the very touch of it, a Scorpion is stupified, grows pale, and yields himself overcome; but when he is hurt with one Poison, he seeks his Remedy with another. Do you see the two Sorts of Hellebore hard by; if the Scorpion can but get himself clear of the Wolf's-bane, and get to the white Hellebore, he recovers his former Vigour, by the very Touch of a different Poison.

Ti. Then the Scorpion is undone, for he is never like to get off from the Wolfs'-bane. But do Scorpions speak here?

Eu. Yes, they do, and speak Greek too.

Ti. What does he say?

Eu. [Greek: Eure theos ton alitron], God hath found out the Guilty. Here besides the Grass, you see all Sorts of Serpents. Here is the Basilisk, that is not only formidable for his Poison; but the very Flash of his Eyes is also mortal.

Ti. And he says something too.

Eu. Yes, he says, Oderint, dum metuant; Let them hate me, so they fear me.

Ti. Spoken like a King entirely.

Eu. Like a Tyrant rather, not at all like a King. Here a Lizard fights with a Viper, and here lies the Dipsas Serpent upon the Catch, hid under the Shell of an Estridge Egg. Here you see the whole Policy of the Ant, which we are call'd upon to imitate by Solomon and Horace. Here are Indian Ants that carry Gold, and hoard it up.

Ti. O good God! how is it possible for a Man to be weary of this Entertainment.

Eu. And yet at some other Time you shall see I'll give you your Belly full of it. Now look before you at a Distance, there is a third Wall, where you have Lakes, Rivers, and Seas, and all Sorts of rare Fishes. This is the River Nile, in which you see the Dolphin, that natural Friend to Mankind, fighting with a Crocodile, Man's deadly Enemy. Upon the Banks and Shores you see several amphibious Creatures, as Crabs, Seals, Beavers. Here is a Polypus, a Catcher catch'd by an Oyster.

Ti. What does he say? [Greek: airôn airoumai]; The Taker taken. The Painter has made the Water wonderfully transparent.

Eu. If he had not done so, we should have wanted other Eyes. Just by there's another Polypus playing upon the Face of the Sea like a little Cock-Boat; and there you see a Torpedo lying along upon the Sands, both of a Colour, you may touch them here with your Hand without any Danger. But we must go to something else, for these Things feed the Eye, but not the Belly.

Ti. Have you any more to be seen then?

Eu. You shall see what the Back-side affords us by and by. Here's an indifferent large Garden parted: The one a Kitchen Garden, that is my Wife's and the Family's; the other is a Physick Garden, containing the choicest physical Herbs. At the left Hand there is an open Meadow, that is only a green Plot enclos'd with a quick-set Hedge. There sometimes I take the Air, and divert myself with good Company. Upon the right Hand there's an Orchard, where, when you have Leisure, you shall see a great Variety of foreign Trees, that I have brought by Degrees to endure this Climate.

Ti. O wonderful! the King himself has not such a Seat.

Eu. At the End of the upper Walk there's an Aviary, which I'll shew you after Dinner, and there you'll see various Forms, and hear various Tongues, and their Humours are as various. Among some of them there is an Agreeableness and mutual Love, and among others an irreconcilable Aversion: And then they are so tame and familiar, that when I'm at Supper, they'll come flying in at the Window to me, even to the Table, and take the Meat out of my Hands. If at any Time I am upon the Draw-Bridge you see there, talking, perhaps with a Friend, they'll some of them sit hearkening, others of them will perch upon my Shoulders or Arms, without any Sort of Fear, for they find that no Body hurts them. At the further End of the Orchard I have my Bees, which is a Sight worth seeing. But I must not show you any more now, that I may have something to entertain you with by and by. I'll shew you the rest after Dinner.

Boy. Sir, my Mistress and Maid say that the Dinner will be spoil'd.

Eu. Bid her have a little Patience, and we'll come presently. My friends, let us wash, that we may come to the Table with clean Hands as well as Hearts. The very Pagans us'd a Kind of Reverence in this Case; how much more then should Christians do it; if it were but in Imitation of that sacred Solemnity of our Saviour with his Disciples at his last Supper: And thence comes the Custom of washing of Hands, that if any Thing of Hatred, Ill-Will, or any Pollution should remain in the Mind of any one, he might purge it out, before he sits down at the Table. For it is my Opinion, that the Food is the wholesomer for the Body, if taken with a purified Mind.

Ti. We believe that it is a certain Truth.

Eu. Christ himself gave us this Example, that we should sit down to the Table with a Hymn; and I take it from this, that we frequently read in the Evangelists, that he bless'd or gave Thanks to his Father before he broke Bread, and that he concluded with giving of Thanks: And if you please, I'll say you a Grace that St. Chrysostom commends to the Skies in one of his Homilies, which he himself interpreted.

Ti. We desire you would.

Eu. Blessed be thou, O God, who has fed me from my Youth up, and providest Food for all Flesh: Fill thou our Hearts with Joy and Gladness, that partaking plentifully of thy Bounty, we may abound to every good Work, through Christ Jesus our Lord, with whom, to thee and the Holy Ghost, be Glory, Honour, and Power, World without End. Amen.

Eu. Now sit down, and let every Man take his Friend next him: The first Place is yours, Timothy, in Right of your Grey Hairs.

Ti. The only Thing in the World that gives a Title to it.

Eu. We can only judge of what we see, and must leave the rest to God. Sophronius, keep you close to your Principal. Theophilus and Eulalius, do you take the right Side of the Table; Chrysoglottus and Theodidactus they shall have the left. Uranius and Nephalius must make a Shift with what is left. I'll keep this Corner.

Ti. This must not be, the Master of the House ought to take the first Place.

Eu. The House is as much yours as mine, Gentlemen; however, if I may rule within my own Jurisdiction, I'll sit where I please, and I have made my Choice already. Now may Christ, the Enlivener of all, and without whom nothing can be pleasant, vouchsafe to be with us, and exhilarate our Minds by his Presence.

Ti. I hope he will be pleased so to do; but where shall he sit, for the Places are all taken up?

Eu. I would have him in every Morsel and Drop that we eat and drink; but especially, in our Minds. And the better to fit us for the Reception of so divine a Guest, if you will, you shall have some Portion of Scripture read in the Interim; but so that you shall not let that hinder you from eating your Dinner heartily.

Ti. We will eat heartily, and attend diligently.

Eu. This Entertainment pleases me so much the better, because it diverts vain and frivolous Discourse, and affords Matter of profitable Conversation: I am not of their Mind, who think no Entertainment diverting, that does not abound with foolish wanton Stories, and bawdy Songs. There is pure Joy springs from a clear and pure Conscience; and those are the happy Conversations, where such Things are mentioned, that we can reflect upon afterwards with Satisfaction and Delight; and not such as we shall afterwards be ashamed of, and have Occasion to repent of.

Ti. It were well if we were all as careful to consider those Things as we are sure they are true.

Eu. And besides, these Things have not only a certain and valuable Profit in them, but one Month's Use of them, would make them become pleasant too.

Ti. And therefore it is the best Course we can take to accustom ourselves to that which is best.

Eu. Read us something, Boy, and speak out distinctly.

Boy. Prov. xxi. The King's Heart is in the Hand of the Lord; as the Rivers of Waters, he turneth it whither soever he will. Every Man is right in his own Eyes, but the Lord pondereth the Hearts. To do Justice and Judgment, is more acceptable to the Lord than Sacrifice, ver. 1, 2, 3.

Eu. Hold there, that's enough; for it is better to take down a little with an Appetite, than to devour more than a Man can digest.

Ti. 'Tis better, I must confess, in more Cases than this: Pliny would have one never have Tully's Offices out of ones Hand; and in my Opinion, it were well if all Persons, but especially Statesmen, had him every Word by Heart: And as for this little Book of Proverbs, I have always look'd upon it the best Manual we can carry about with us.

Eu. I knew our Dinner would be unsavoury, and therefore I procured this Sauce.

Ti. Here is nothing but what is very good; but if you had given us this Lecture to a Dish of Beets only, without either Pepper, Wine or Vinegar, it would have been a delicious Treat.

Eu. I could commend it with a better Grace, if I did but perfectly understand what I have heard. And I would we had some able Divine among us, that did not only understand it, but would thoroughly expound it. But I don't know how far it may be lawful for us Laymen to descant upon these Matters.

Ti. Indeed, I see no Hurt in't, even for a Tarpawlin to do it, abating the Rashness of passing Sentence in the Case. And who knows but that Christ himself (who has promis'd to be present, where two or three are gathered together in his Name) may vouchsafe his Assistance to us, that are a much larger Congregation.

Eu. What if we should take these three Verses, and divide 'em among us nine Guests?

Guests. We like it well, provided the Master of the Feast lead the Way.

Eu. I would not refuse it; but that I am afraid I shall entertain you worse in my Exposition, than I do in my Dinner: But however, Ceremony apart, that I may not seem to want much Persuasion, omitting other Meanings that Interpreters put upon the Place: This seems to me to be the moral Sense; "That private Men may be wrought upon by Admonition, Reproofs, Laws and Menaces; but Kings who are above Fear, the more they are opposed, the fiercer their Displeasure; and therefore Kings, as often as they are resolutely bent upon any, should be left to themselves: Not in respect of any Confidence of the Goodness of their Inclinations; but because God many Times makes Use of their Follies and Wickedness, as the Instruments for the Punishment of the Wicked." As he forbad that Nebuchodonosor should be resisted, because he had determin'd to chastise his People by him, as an Instrument. And peradventure, that which Job says, looks this Way: Who maketh the Hypocrite reign for the Sins of his People. And perhaps, that which David says, bewailing his Sin, has the same Tendency: Against thee only have I sinned, and done this Evil in thy Sight: Not as if the Iniquity of Kings were not fatal to the People; but because there is none that has Authority to condemn them, but God, from whose Judgment there is indeed no Appeal, be the Person never so great.

Ti. I like the Interpretation well enough thus far; but what is meant by the Rivers of Waters?

Eu. There is a Similitude made Use of that explains it. The Wrath of a King is impetuous and unruly, and not to be led this Way or that Way, but presses forward with a restless Fury: As the Sea spreads itself over the Land, and flows sometimes this Way, and sometimes that Way, not sparing Pastures nor Palaces, and sometimes buries in its own Bowels all that stands in its Way; and if you should attempt to stop its Course, or to turn it another Way, you may e'en as well let it alone: Whereas, let it but alone, and it will sink of itself, as it happens in many great Rivers, as is storied of Achelous. There is less Injury done by quietly yielding, than by violently resisting.

Ti. Is there no Remedy then against the Unruliness of wicked Kings?

Eu. The first will be, not to receive a Lion into the City: The second, is to tie him up by parliamentary and municipal Laws, that he can't easily break out into Tyranny: But the best of all would be, to train him up from his Childhood, in the Principles of Piety and Virtue, and to form his Will, before he understands his Power. Good Counsels and Persuasions go a great Way, provided they be seasonable and gentle. But the last Resort must be to beg of God, to incline the King's Heart to those Things that are becoming a Christian King.

Ti. Do you excuse yourself, because you are a Layman? If I were a Batchelor in Divinity, I should value myself upon this Interpretation.

Eu. I can't tell whether it is right or wrong, it is enough for me if it were not impious or heretical. However, I have done what you required of me; and now, according to the Rules of Conversation, 'tis my Turn to hear your Opinion.

Ti. The Compliment you pass'd upon my grey Hairs, gives me some kind of Title to speak next to the Text, which will bear yet a more mysterious Meaning.

Eu. I believe it may, and I should be glad to hear it.

Ti. "By the Word King, may be meant, a Man so perfected, as to have wholly subdued his Lusts, and to be led by the Impulse of the Divine Spirit only. Now perhaps it may not be proper to tie up such a Person to the Conditions of human Laws; but to leave him to his Master, by whom he is govern'd: Nor is he to be judg'd according to the Measures by which the Frailty of imperfect Men advances towards true Holiness; but if he steers another Course, we ought to say with St. Paul, God hath accepted him, and to his own Master he stands or falls. He that is spiritual, judgeth of all Things, but he himself is judged of no Man." To such, therefore, let no Man prescribe; for the Lord, who hath appointed Bounds to the Seas and Rivers, hath the Heart of the King in his Hand, and inclines it which Way soever it pleases him: What need is there to prescribe to him, that does of his own accord better Things than human Laws oblige him to? Or, how great a Rashness were it, to bind that Person by human Constitutions, who, it is manifest, by evident Tokens, is directed by the Inspirations of the Holy Spirit.

Eu. O Timothy, thou hast not only got grey Hairs on this Head, but you have likewise a Mind venerable for experimental Knowledge. And I would to God, that we had more such Kings as this King of yours among Christians, who, indeed, all of them ought to be such. But we have dwelt long enough upon our Eggs and Herbs; let them be taken away, and something else set in their Room.

Ti. We have done so well already on this Ovation, that there is no Need of any more, either of Supplication or Triumph.

Eu. But since, by God's Assistance, we have succeeded so well in the first Verse, I wish your Umbra would explain the other, which seems to me a little more obscure.

Soph. If you'll put a good Construction upon what I shall say, I will give you my Thoughts upon it. How else can a Shadow pretend to give Light to any Thing?

Eu. I undertake that for all the Company; such Shadows as you give as much Light as our Eyes will well bear.

Soph. The same Thing seems to be meant here, that Paul says: That there are several Ways of Life, that lead to Holiness. Some affect the Ministry, some Celibacy, others a married State; some a retired Life, others publick Administrations of the Government, according to the various Dispositions of their Bodies and Minds: Again, to one Man all Meats are indifferent, another puts a Difference betwixt this Meat and that; another he makes a Difference of Days, another thinks every Day alike. In these Things St. Paul would have every one enjoy his own Freedom of Mind, without reproaching another; nor should we censure any Man in those Cases, but leave him to be judg'd by him that weigheth the Heart. It oftentimes happens, that he that eats may be more acceptable to God, than he that forbears; and he that breaks a Holy-day, than he that seems to observe it; and he that marries, is more acceptable to God, than a great many that live single. I who am but a Shadow, have spoken my Mind.

Eu. I wish I could have Conversation with such Shadows often. I think you have hit the Nail on the Head: But here is one that has lived a Batchelor, and not of the Number of Saints, who have made themselves Eunuchs for the Sake of the Kingdom of God but was made so by force, to gratify our Bellies, till God shall destroy both them and Meats. It is a Capon of my own feeding. I am a great Lover of boil'd Meats. This is a very good Soop, and these are choice Lettuces that are in it. Pray every one help himself to what he likes best. But that you may not be deceiv'd, I tell you, that we have a Course of Roast a coming, and after that some small Desert, and so conclude.

Ti. But we exclude your Wife from Table.

Eu. When you bring your own Wives, mine shall keep them Company. She would, if she were here, be nothing but a Mute in our Company. She talks with more Freedom among the Women, and we are more at Liberty to philosophise. And besides that, there would be Danger, lest we should be serv'd as Socrates was, when he had several Philosophers at Table with him, who took more Pleasure in talking than they did in eating, and held a long Dispute, had all their Meat thrown on the Floor by Xantippe, who in a Rage overturn'd the Table.

Ti. I believe you have nothing of that to be afraid of: She's one of the best-humour'd Women in the World.

Eu. She is such a one indeed, that I should be loath to change her if I might; and I look upon myself to be very happy upon that Account. Nor do I like their Opinion, who think a Man happy, because he never had a Wife; I approve rather what the Hebrew Sage said, He that has a good Wife has a good Lot.

Ti. It is commonly our own Fault, if our Wives be bad, either for loving such as are bad, or making them so; or else for not teaching them better.

Eu. You say very right, but all this While I want to hear the third Verse expounded: And methinks the divine Theophilus looks as if he had a Mind to do it.

Theo. Truly my Mind was upon my Belly; but however, I'll speak my Mind, since I may do it without Offence.

Eu. Nay, it will be a Favour to us if you should happen to be in any Error, because by that Means you will give us Occasion of finding the Truth.

Th. The Sentence seems to be of the same Importance with that the Lord expresses by the Prophet Hosea, Chap. vi. I desire Mercy and not Sacrifice, and the Knowledge of God more than Burnt-Offerings. This is fully explain'd, and to the Life, by the Lord Jesus, in St. Matthew, Chap. ix. who being at Table in the House of Levi the Publican, with several others of the same Stamp and Profession, the Pharisees, who were puff'd up with their external Observance of the Law, without any Regard to the Precepts of it, whereupon the whole Law and Prophets depend, (with a Design to alienate the Affections of his Disciples from him) ask'd them, why their Master sat at the Table of Publicans and Sinners. From whose Conversation those Jews, that would be accounted the more holy, abstain'd; to that Degree, that if any of the stricter Sort had met any of them by Chance, as soon as they came Home they would wash themselves. And when the Disciples, being yet but raw, could give no Answer; the Lord answer'd both for himself and them: They (says he) who are whole need not a Physician, but they that are sick; but go you and learn what that meaneth, I will have Mercy and not Sacrifice; for I came not to call the Righteous but Sinners.

Eu. Indeed you have very handsomely explain'd the Matter, by the comparing of Texts, which is the best Way of expounding Scripture. But I would fain know what it is he calls Sacrifice, and what Mercy. For how can we reconcile it, that God should be against Sacrifices, who had commanded so many to be offered?

Th. How far God is against Sacrifices, he himself teaches us in the first Chapter of the Prophecy of Isaiah. There were certain legal Obligations among the Jews, which were rather Significations of Holiness, than of the Essence of it; of this Sort are Holy-Days, Sabbatisms, Fasts, Sacrifices; and there were certain other Obligations of perpetual Force, being good in their own Nature, and not meerly by being commanded. Now God was displeased with the Jews, not because they did observe the Rites and Ceremonies, but because being vainly puffed up with these, they neglected those Things which God does in a more especial Manner require of us; and wallowing in Avarice, Pride, Rapines, Hatred, Envy, and other Iniquities, they thought they merited Heaven, because that upon Holy-Days, they visited the Temple, offered Sacrifices, abstained from forbidden Meats, and frequently fasted; embracing the Shadow of Religion, and neglecting the Substance. But in that, he says, I will have Mercy, and not Sacrifice; I take it to be said according to the Idiom of the Hebrew Tongue; that is to say, Mercy rather than Sacrifices, as Solomon interprets it in this Text, to do Mercy and Judgment, is more acceptable to the Lord than Sacrifices. And again, the Scripture expresses all the charitable Offices to our Neighbour, under the Terms of Mercy, and eleemosynary Tenderness, which takes its Name from Pity. By Sacrifices, I suppose is intended, whatsoever respects corporal Ceremonies, and has any Affinity with Judaism, such as are the choice of Meats, appointed Garments, Fasting, Sacrifices, the saying over of Prayers, as a Boy says his Lesson: resting upon Holy-Days. These Things, as they are not to be neglected in their due Season, so they become displeasing to God, if a Man relying too much upon these Observances, shall neglect to do Acts of Mercy, as often as his Brother's Necessity requires it. And it has some Appearance of Holiness in it, to avoid the Conversation of wicked Men: But this ought to give Place as oft as there is an Opportunity offer'd of shewing Charity to our Neighbour. It is a Point of Obedience to rest upon Holy Days: But it would be very impious to make such a Conscience of a Day as to suffer a Brother to perish upon it. Therefore to keep the Lord's Day is a Kind of Sacrifice: But to be reconcil'd to my Brother is a Point of Mercy. And then, as for Judgment, though that may seem to respect Persons in Power; who oftentimes oppress the weak therewith, yet it seems reasonable enough in my Opinion that the poor Man should remind him of that in Hosea, And the Knowledge of God more than burnt Offerings. No Man can be said to keep the Law of God, but he that keeps it according to the Mind of God. The Jews could lift up an Ass upon the Sabbath that was fallen into a Pit, and yet calumniated our Saviour for preserving a Man upon that Day. This was a preposterous Judgment, and not according to the Knowledge of God; for they did not consider that these Things were made for Man, and not Man for them. But I should have esteem'd it Presumption in me to have said these Things, if you had not commanded it; and I had rather learn of others Things more à propos.

Eu. This is so far from being a Presumption, that it looks rather like an Inspiration. But while we are thus plentifully feeding our Souls, we must not neglect their Companions.

Ti. Who are those?

Eu. Our Bodies; are not they the Soul's Companions? I had rather call them so, than Instruments, Habitations or Sepulchres.

Ti. This is certainly to be plentifully refresh'd when the whole Man is refresh'd.

Eu. I see you are very backward to help yourselves; therefore, if you please, I'll order the Roast-Meat to be brought us, lest instead of a good Entertainment I should treat you with a long one. Now you see your Ordinary. Here is a Shoulder of Mutton, but it is a very fine one, a Capon and two Brace of Partridges. These indeed I had from the Market, this little Farm supply'd me with the rest.

Ti. It is a noble Dinner, fit for a Prince.

Eu. For a Carmelite, you mean. But such as it is you are welcome to it. If the Provision be not very dainty you have it very freely.

Ti. Your House is so full of Talk, that not only the Walls but the very Cup speaks.

Eu. What does it say?

Ti. No Man is hurt but by himself.

Eu. The Cup pleads for the Cause of the Wine. For it is a common Thing, if Persons get a Fever or the Head-ach by over drinking, to lay it upon the Wine, when they have brought it upon themselves by their Excess.

Soph. Mine speaks Greek. [Greek: En oinô alêtheia.] In Wine there's Truth (when Wine is in the Wit is out.)

Eu. This gives us to understand that it is not safe for Priests or Privy-Counsellors to give themselves so to Wine, because Wine commonly brings that to the Mouth that lay conceal'd in the Heart.

Soph. In old Time among the Egyptians it was unlawful for their Priests to drink any Wine at all, and yet in those Days there was no auricular Confession.

Eu. It is now become lawful for all Persons to drink Wine, but how expedient it is I know not. What Book is that, Eulalius, you take out of your Pocket? It seems to be a very neat one, it is all over gilded.

Eulal. It is more valuable for the Inside than the Out. It is St. Paul's Epistles, that I always carry about me, as my beloved Entertainment, which I take out now upon the Occasion of something you said, which minds me of a Place that I have beat my Brains about a long Time, and I am not come to a full Satisfaction in yet. It is in the 6th Chapter of the first Epistle to the Corinthians, All Things are lawful for me, but all Things are not expedient; all Things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the Power of any. In the first Place (if we will believe the Stoicks) nothing can be profitable to us, that is not honest: How comes Paul then to distinguish betwixt that which is lawful, and that which is expedient? It is not lawful to whore, or get drunk, how then are all Things lawful? But if Paul speaks of some particular Things only, which he would have to be lawful, I can't guess by the Tenor of the Place, which those particular Things are. From that which follows, it may be gather'd, that he there speaks of the Choice of Meats. For some abstain from Things offer'd to Idols, and others from Meats forbidden by Moses's Law. In the 8th Chapter he treats of Things offer'd to Idols, and in the 10th Chapter explaining the Meaning of this Place, says, All Things are lawful for me, but all Things are not expedient; all Things are lawful for me, but all Things edify not. Let no Man seek his own, but every Man the Things of another. Whatsoever is sold in the Shambles, eat ye. And that which St. Paul subjoins, agrees with what he said before: Meats for the Belly, and the Belly for Meats; but God shall destroy both it and them. Now that which has Respect to the Judaical Choice of Meats, is in the Close of the 10th Chapter. Give none Offence, neither to the Jews nor the Gentiles, nor to the Church of God; even as I please all Men in all Things, not seeking my own Profit, but the Profit of many, that they may be sav'd. Where in that he saith to the Gentiles, he seems to have Respect to Things offer'd to Idols; and where he speaketh to the Jews he seems to refer to the Choice of Meats; what he says to the Church of God appertains to the Weak, collected out of both Sorts. It was lawful, it seems, to eat of all Meats whatsoever, and all Things that are Clean to the Clean. But the Question remaining is, Whether it be expedient or no? The Liberty of the Gospel makes all Things lawful; but Charity has always a Regard to my Neighbour's Good, and therefore often abstains from Things lawful, rather chasing to condescend to what is for another's Advantage, than to make Use of its own Liberty. But now here arises a double Difficulty; first, that here is nothing that either precedes or follows in the Context that agrees with this Sense. For he chides the Corinthians for being Seditious, Fornicators, Adulterers, and given to go to Law before wicked Judges. Now what Coherence is there with this to say, All Things are lawful for me, but all Things are not expedient? And in the following Matter, he returns to the Case of Incontinence, which he had also repeated before, only leaving out the Charge of Contention: But the Body, says he, is not for Fornication, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the Body. But however, this Scruple may be solv'd too, because a little before, in the Catalogue of Sins, he had made Mention of Idolatry. Be not deceived, neither Fornicators, nor Idolaters, nor Adulterers; now the Eating of Things offer'd to Idols is a certain Kind of Idolatry, and therefore he immediately subjoins, Meat is for the Belly, and the Belly for Meat. Intimating, that in a Case of Necessity, and for a Season, a Man may eat any Thing, unless Charity towards his Neighbour shall dissuade it: But that Uncleanness is in all Persons, and at all Times to be detested. It is Matter of Necessity that we eat, but that Necessity shall be taken away at the Resurrection of the Dead. But if we are lustful, that proceeds from Wickedness. But there is another Scruple that I can't tell how to solve, or how to reconcile to that Passage: But I will not be brought under the Power of any. For he says, he has the Power of all Things, and yet he will not be brought under the Power of any one. If he may be said to be under another Man's Power, that abstains for Fear of offending, it is what he speaks of himself in the ninth Chapter, For though I be free from all Men, yet have made myself Servant to all, that I may gain all. St. Ambrose stumbling, I suppose, at this Scruple, takes this to be the Apostle's genuine Sense for the better Understanding of what he says in the 9th Chapter, where he claims to himself the Power of doing that which the rest of the Apostles (either true or false) did, of receiving a Maintenance from them to whom he preach'd the Gospel. But he forbore this, although he might have done it, as a Thing expedient among the Corinthians, whom he reprov'd for so many and enormous Iniquities. And moreover, he that receives, is in some Degree in the Power of him from whom he receives, and suffers some Kind of Abatement in his Authority. For he that takes, cannot so freely reprove his Benefactor; and he that gives will not so easily take a Reprehension from him that he has obliged. And in this did the Apostle Paul abstain from that which was lawful, for the Credit of his apostolical Liberty, which in this Case he would not have to be rendered obnoxious to any one, that he might with the greater Freedom and Authority reprehend their Vices. Indeed, I like this Explication of St. Ambrose very well. But yet, if any Body had rather apply this Passage to Meats, St. Paul's, Saying, but I will not be brought under the Power of any, may be taken in this Sense: Although I may sometimes abstain from Meats offered to Idols, or forbidden by the Mosaical Law, out of Regard to the Salvation of my Brothers Souls, and the Furtherance of the Gospel; yet my Mind is free, well knowing that it is lawful to eat all Manner of Meats, according to the Necessity of the Body. But there were some false Apostles, who went about to persuade them, that some Meats, were in themselves, by their own Nature unclean, and were to be forborn, not upon Occasion only, but at all Times; and that as strict as Adultery or Murder. Now those that were thus misled, were reduced under another's Power, and fell from their Gospel Liberty. Theophylact (as I remember) is the only Man that advances an Opinion different from all these. It is lawful, says he, to eat all Sorts of Meats; but it is not expedient to eat to Excess; for from Luxury comes Lust. There is no Impiety, indeed, in this Sense; but it does not seem to me to be the genuine Sense of the Place. I have acquainted you with my Scruples, it will become your Charity to set me to Rights.

Eu. Your Discourse is, indeed, answerable to your Name, and one that knows how to propound Questions as you do, has no Need of any Body to answer them but himself. For you have so proposed your Doubts, as to put one quite out of doubt, altho' St. Paul, in that Epistle, (proposing to handle many Things at once) passes often from one Argument to another, repeating what he had intermitted.

Ch. If I were not afraid, that by my Loquacity I should divert you from eating your Dinners, and did think it were lawful to intermix any Thing out of profane Authors with sacred Discourses, I would venture to propose something that I read to Day; not so much with Perplexity, as with a singular Delight.

Eu. Whatsoever is pious, and conduces to good Manners, ought not to be called profane. The first Place must indeed be given to the Authority of the Scriptures; but nevertheless, I sometimes find some Things said or written by the Antients; nay, even by the Heathens; nay, by the Poets themselves, so chastly, so holily, and so divinely, that I cannot persuade myself, but that when they wrote them, they were divinely inspired; and perhaps the Spirit of Christ diffuses itself farther than we imagine; and that there are more Saints than we have in our Catalogue. To confess freely among Friends, I can't read Tully of Old Age, of Friendship, his Offices, or his Tusculan Questions, without kissing the Book, and Veneration for that divine Soul. And on the contrary, when I read some of our modern Authors, treating of Politics, Oeconomics and Ethics, good God! how cold they are in Comparison of these? Nay, how do they seem to be insensible of what they write themselves? So that I had rather lose Scotus and twenty more such as he, than one Cicero or Plutarch. Not that I am wholly against them neither; but because, by the reading of the one, I find myself become better; whereas, I rise from the other, I know not how coldly affected to Virtue, but most violently inclin'd to Cavil and Contention; therefore never fear to propose it, whatsoever it is.

Ch. Although all Tully's Books of Philosophy seem to breathe out something divine; yet that Treatise of Old Age, that he wrote in old Age, seems to me to be according to the Greek Proverb; the Song of the dying Swan. I was reading it to Day, and these Words pleasing me above the rest, I got 'em by Heart: Should it please God to give me a Grant to begin my Life again from my very Cradle, and once more to run over the Course of my Years I have lived, I would not upon any Terms accept of it: Nor would I, having in a Manner finished my Race, run it over again from the starting Place to the Goal: For what Pleasure has this Life in it? nay, rather, what Pain has it not? But if there were not, there would be undoubtedly in it Satiety or Trouble. I am not for bewailing my past Life as a great many, and learned Men too, have done, nor do I repent that I have liv'd; because, I have liv'd so, that I am satisfy'd I have not liv'd in vain. And when I leave this Life, I leave it as an Inn, and not as a Place of Abode. For Nature has given us our Bodies as an Inn to lodge in, and not to dwell in. O! glorious Day will that be, when I shall leave this Rabble-rout and Defilements of the World behind me, to go to that Society and World of Spirits! Thus far out of Cato. What could be spoken more divinely by a Christian? I wish all the Discourses of our Monks, even with their holy Virgins, were such as the Dialogue of this aged Pagan, with the Pagan Youths of his Time.

Eu. It may be objected, that this Colloquy of Tully's was but a Fiction.

Ch. It is all one to me, whether the Honour of these Expressions be given to Cato, who thought and spoke them, or to Cicero, whose Mind could form such divine Things in Contemplation, and whose Pen could represent such excellent Matter in Words so answerable to it; though indeed I am apt to think that Cato, if he did not speak these very Words, yet that in his familiar Conversation he us'd Words of the very same Import. For indeed, M. Tully was not a Man of that Impudence, to draw Cato otherwise than he was. Beside, that such an Unlikeness in a Dialogue would have been a great Indecorum, which is the thing chiefly to be avoided in this Sort of Discourse; and especially, at a Time when his Character was fresh in the Memories of all Men.

Th. That which you say is very likely: But I'll tell you what came into my Mind upon your Recital. I have often admired with myself, that considering that all Men wish for long Life, and are afraid of Death; that yet, I have scarce found any Man so happy, (I don't speak of old, but of middle-aged Men); but that if the Question were put to him, whether or no, if it should be granted him to grow young again, and run over the same good and ill Fortune that he had before, he would not make the same Answer that Cato did; especially passing a true Reflection upon the Mixture of Good and Ill of his past Life. For the Remembrance even of the pleasantest Part of it is commonly attended with Shame, and Sting of Conscience, insomuch that the Memory of past Delights is more painful to us, than that of past Misfortunes. Therefore it was wisely done of the ancient Poets in the Fable of Lethe, to represent the Dead drinking largely of the Waters of Forgetfulness, before their Souls were affected with any Desire of the Bodies they had left behind them.

Ur. It is a Thing well worthy of our Admiration, and what I myself have observ'd in some Persons. But that in Cato that pleases me the most is his Declaration. Neither am I sorry that I have liv'd. Where is the Christian, that has so led his Life, as to be able to say as much as this old Man? It is a common Thing for Men, who have scrap'd great Estates together by Hook or by Crook, when they are upon their Death Beds, and about to leave them, then to think they have not liv'd in vain. But Cato therefore thought, that he had not liv'd in vain, upon the Conscience of his having discharg'd all the Parts of an honest and useful Citizen, and an uncorrupted Magistrate; and that he should leave to Posterity, Monuments of his Virtue and Industry. And what could be spoken more divinely than this, I depart as from an Inn, and not an Habitation. So long we may stay in an Inn till the Host bids us be gone, but a Man will not easily be forc'd from his own House. And yet from hence the Fall of the House, or Fire, or some Accident drives us. Or if nothing of these happen, the Structure falls to Pieces with old Age, thereby admonishing us that we must change our Quarters.

Neph. That Expression of Socrates in Plato is not less elegant: Methinks, says he, the Soul of a Man is in the Body as in a Garrison, there is no quitting of it without the Leave of the Generals, nor no staying any longer in it, than during the Pleasure of him that plac'd him there. This Allusion of _Plato'_s, of a Garrison instead of a House, is the more significant of the two. For in a House is only imply'd Abode, in a Garrison we are appointed to some Duty by our Governor. And much to the same Purpose is it, that in Holy Writ the Life of Man is sometimes call'd a Warfare, and at other times a Race.

Ur. But Cato's Speech, methinks, seems to agree very well with that of St. Paul, who writing to the Corinthians, calls that heavenly Mansion, which we look for after this Life in one Place [Greek: oikian] a House, in another [Greek: oikêtêrion] a Mansion, and moreover (besides that) he calls the Body [Greek: skênos] a Tabernacle. For we also, (says he) who are in this Tabernacle, groan, being burthened.

Neph. Much after this Manner says St. Peter; And I think it meet (says he) as long as I am in this Tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in Mind, being assured that I shall shortly put off this Tabernacle. And what else does Christ himself say to us, but that we should live and watch, as if we were presently to die: And so apply ourselves to honest Things, as if we were to live for ever? And when we hear these excellent Words of Cato, O that glorious Day, do we not seem to hear St. Paul himself saying, I desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ?

Ch. How happy are they that wait for Death with such a Frame of Mind? But as for Cato's Speech, altho' it be an excellent one, methinks there is more Boldness and Arrogance in it, than becomes a Christian. Indeed, I never read anything in a Heathen, that comes nearer to a Christian, than what Socrates said to Crito, a little before he drank his Poison; Whether I shall be approv'd or not in the Sight of God, I cannot tell; but this I am certain of, that I have most affectionately endeavoured to please him; and I have a good Hope, that he will accept of my Endeavours. This great Man was diffident of his own Performances; but so, that being conscious to himself of the Propensity of his Inclination to obey the divine Will, he conceived a good Hope, that God, of his Goodness, would accept him for the Honesty of his Intentions.

Neph. Indeed, it was a wonderful Elevation of Mind in a Man, that knew not Christ, nor the holy Scriptures: And therefore, I can scarce forbear, when I read such Things of such Men, but cry out, Sancte Socrates, ora pro nobis; Saint Socrates, pray for us.

Ch. And I have much ado sometimes to keep myself from entertaining good Hopes of the Souls of Virgil and Horace.

Neph. But how unwillingly have I seen many Christians die? Some put their Trust in Things not to be confided in; others breathe out their Souls in Desperation, either out of a Consciousness of their lewd Lives, or by Reason of Scruples that have been injected into their Minds, even in their dying Hours, by some indiscreet Men.

Ch. It is no wonder to find them die so, who have spent their Time in philosophizing about Ceremonies all their Lives.

Neph. What do you mean by Ceremonies?

Ch. I'll tell you, but with Protestation over and over beforehand, that I don't find Fault with the Sacraments and Rites of the Church, but rather highly approve of them; but I blame a wicked and superstitious Sort of People, or (to put it in the softest Term) the simple and unlearned Persons, who teach People to put their Confidence in these Things, omitting those Things which make them truly Christians.

Neph. I don't yet clearly understand what it is you aim at.

Ch. I'll be plainer then. If you look into Christians in common, don't you find they live as if the whole Sum of Religion consisted in Ceremonies? With how much Pomp are the antient Rites of the Church set forth in Baptism? The Infant waits without the Church Door, the Exorcism is performed, the Catechizing is performed, Vows are made, Satan is abjured, with all his Pomps and Pleasures; then the Child is anointed, sign'd, season'd with Salt, dipt, a Charge given to his Sureties to see it well brought up; and the Oblation-Money being paid, they are discharged, and by this Time the Child passes for a Christian, and in some Sense is so. A little Time after, it is anointed again, and in Time learns to confess, receives the Sacrament, is accustom'd to rest upon Holy-Days, to hear Divine Service, to fast sometimes, to abstain from Flesh; and if he observes all these, he passes for an absolute Christian. He marries a Wife, and then comes on another Sacrament; he enters into Holy Orders, is anointed again, and consecrated, his Habit is chang'd, and then to Prayers. Now I approve of the doing of all this well enough; but the doing of them more out of Custom than Conscience, I don't approve; but to think that nothing else is requisite for the making a Christian, I absolutely disapprove: For the greatest Part of Men in the World trust to these Things, and think they have nothing else to do, but get Wealth by Right or Wrong, to gratify their Passions of Rage, Lust, Malice, Ambition: And this they do till they come upon their Death Bed; and then there follows more Ceremonies; Confession upon Confession, more Unction still, the Eucharist is administred; Tapers, the Cross, holy Water are brought in; Indulgencies are procured, if they are to be had for Love or Money; Orders are given for a magnificent Funeral; and then comes on another solemn Contract: When the Man is in the Agony of Death, there's one stands by bawling in his Ear, and now and then dispatches him before his Time, if he chance to be a little in Drink, or have better Lungs than ordinary. Now although these Things may be well enough, as they are done in Conformity to ecclesiastical Customs; yet there are some more internal Impressions, which have an Efficacy to fortify us against the Assaults of Death, by filling our Hearts with Joy, and helping us to go out of the World with a Christian Assurance.

Eu. You speak very piously and truly; but in the mean Time here is no Body eats; I told you before, that you must expect nothing after the second Course, and that a Country one too, lest any Body should look for Pheasants, Moorhens, and fine Kickshaws. Here, Boy! take away these Things, and bring up the rest. You see, not the Affluence, but the Straitness of my Fortune. This is the Product of my Gardens you have seen; don't spare, if you like any Thing.

Ti. There's so great a Variety, it does a Man good to look upon it.

Eu. That you mayn't altogether despise my Thriftiness, this Dish would have chear'd up the Heart of old Hilarion, the evangelical Monk, with a hundred more of his Fellows, the Monks of that Age. But Paul and Anthony would have lived a Month upon it.

Ti. Yes, and Prince Peter too, I fancy would have leap'd at it, when he lodg'd at Simon the Tanner's.

Eu. Yes; and Paul too, I believe, when by Reason of Poverty he sat up a-Nights to make Tents.

Ti. How much do we owe to the Goodness of God! But yet, I had rather suffer Hunger with Peter and Paul, upon Condition, that what I wanted for my Body, might be made up by the Satisfaction of my Mind.

Eu. Let us learn of St. Paul, both how to abound, and how to suffer Want. When we want, let us praise God, that he has afforded us Matter to exercise our Frugality and Patience upon: When we abound, let us be thankful for his Munificence, who by his Liberality, invites and provokes us to love him; and using those Things the divine Bounty has plentifully bestowed upon us, with Moderation and Temperance; let us be mindful of the Poor, whom God has been pleas'd to suffer to want what he has made abound to us, that neither Side may want an Occasion of exercising Virtue: For he bestows upon us sufficient for the Relief of our Brother's Necessity, that we may obtain his Mercy, and that the Poor on the other Hand, being refresh'd by our Liberality, may give him Thanks for putting it into our Hearts, and recommend us to him in their Prayers; and, very well remember'd! Come hither, Boy; bid my Wife send Gudula some of the roast Meat that's left, 'tis a very good poor Woman in the Neighbourhood big with Child, her Husband is lately dead, a profuse, lazy Fellow, that has left nothing but a Stock of Children.

Ti. Christ has commanded to give to every one that asks; but if I should do so, I should go a begging myself in a Month's Time.

Eu. I suppose Christ means only such as ask for Necessaries: For to them who ask, nay, who importune, or rather extort great Sums from People to furnish voluptuous Entertainments, or, which is worse, to feed Luxury and Lust, it is Charity to deny; nay, it is a Kind of Rapine to bestow that which we owe to the present Necessity of our Neighbours, upon those that will abuse it; upon this Consideration it is, that it seems to me, that they can scarcely be excus'd from being guilty of a mortal Sin, who at a prodigious Expence, either build or beautify Monasteries or Churches, when in the mean Time so many living Temples of Christ are ready to starve for Want of Food and Clothing, and are sadly afflicted with the Want of other Necessaries. When I was in England, I saw St. Thomas's, Tomb all over bedeck'd with a vast Number of Jewels of an immense Price, besides other rich Furniture, even to Admiration; I had rather that these Superfluities should be apply'd to charitable Uses, than to be reserv'd for Princes, that shall one Time or other make a Booty of them. The holy Man, I am confident, would have been better pleas'd, to have his Tomb adorn'd with Leaves and Flowers. When I was in Lombardy, I saw a Cloyster of the Carthusians, not far from Pavia; the Chapel is built from Top to Bottom, within and without, of white Marble, and almost all that is in it, as Altars, Pillars, and Tombs, are all Marble. To what Purpose was it to be at such a vast Expence upon a Marble Temple, for a few solitary Monks to sing in? And 'tis more Burthen to them than Use too, for they are perpetually troubled with Strangers, that come thither, only out of mere Curiosity, to see the Marble Temple. And that, which is yet more ridiculous, I was told there, that there is an Endowment of three thousand Ducats a Year for keeping the Monastery in Repair. And there are some that think that it is Sacrilege, to convert a Penny of that Money to any other pious Uses, contrary to the Intention of the Testator; they had rather pull down, that they may rebuild, than not go on with building. I thought meet to mention these, being something more remarkable than ordinary; tho' we have a World of Instances of this Kind up and down in our Churches. This, in my Opinion, is rather Ambition than Charity. Rich Men now-a-Days will have their Monuments in Churches, whereas in Times past they could hardly get Room for the Saints there: They must have their Images there, and their Pictures, forsooth, with their Names at length, their Titles, and the Inscription of their Donation; and this takes up a considerable Part of the Church; and I believe in Time they'll be for having their Corpse laid even in the very Altars themselves. But perhaps, some will say, would you have their Munificence be discourag'd? I say no, by no Means, provided what they offer to the Temple of God be worthy of it. But if I were a Priest or a Bishop, I would put it into the Heads of those thick-scull'd Courtiers or Merchants, that if they would atone for their Sins to Almighty God, they should privately bestow their Liberality upon the Relief of the Poor. But they reckon all as lost, that goes out so by Piece-meal, and is privily distributed toward the Succour of the Needy, that the next Age shall have no Memorial of the Bounty. But I think no Money can be better bestow'd, than that which Christ himself would have put to his Account, and makes himself Debtor for.

Ti. Don't you take that Bounty to be well plac'd that is bestow'd upon Monasteries?

Eu. Yes, and I would be a Benefactor myself, if I had an Estate that would allow it; but it should be such a Provision for Necessaries, as should not reach to Luxury. And I would give something too, wheresoever I found a religious Man that wanted it.

Ti. Many are of Opinion, that what is given to common Beggars, is not well bestowed.

Eu. I would do something that Way too; but with Discretion: But in my Opinion, it were better if every City were to maintain their own Poor; and Vagabonds and sturdy Beggars were not suffer'd to strole about, who want Work more than Money.

Ti. To whom then would you in an especial Manner give? How much? And to what Purposes?

Eu. It is a hard Matter for me to answer to all these Points exactly: First of all, there should be an Inclination to be helpful to all, and after that, the Proportion must be according to my Ability, as Opportunity should offer; and especially to those whom I know to be poor and honest; and when my own Purse fail'd me, I would exhort others to Charity.

Ti. But will you give us Leave now to discourse freely in your Dominions?

Eu. As freely as if you were at Home at your own Houses.

Ti. You don't love vast Expences upon Churches, you say, and this House might have been built for less than it was.

Eu. Indeed, I think this House of mine to be within the Compass of cleanly and convenient, far from Luxury, or I am mistaken. Some that live by begging, have built with more State; and yet, these Gardens of Mine, such as they are, pay a Tribute to the Poor; and I daily lessen my Expence, and am the more frugal in Expence upon myself and Family, that I may contribute the more plentifully to them.

Ti. If all Men were of your Mind, it would be better than it is with a good many People who deserve better, that are now in extreme Want; and on the other Hand, many of those pamper'd Carcases would be brought down, who deserve to be taught Sobriety and Modesty by Penury.

Eu. It may be so: but shall I mend your mean Entertainment now, with the best Bit at last?

Ti. We have had more than enough of Delicacies already.

Eu. That which I am now about to give you, let your Bellies be never so full, won't over-charge your Stomachs.

Ti. What is it?

Eu. The Book of the four Evangelists, that I may treat you with the best at last. Read, Boy, from the Place where you left off last.

Boy. No Man can serve two Masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other: You cannot serve God and Mammon. Therefore, I say unto you, take no thought for your Life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink: Nor yet for your Body, what you shall put on. Is not the Life more than Meat, and the Body than Raiment?

Eu. Give me the Book. In this Place Jesus Christ seems to me, to have said the same Thing twice: For instead of what he had said in the first Place, i.e. he will hate; he says immediately, he will despise. And for what he had said before, he will love, he by and by turns it, he will hold to. The Sense is the same, tho' the Persons are chang'd.

Ti. I do not very well apprehend what you mean.

Eu. Let me, if you please, demonstrate it mathematically. In the first Part, put A for the one, and B for the other. In the latter Part, put B for one, and A for the other, inverting the Order; for either A will hate, and B will love, or B will hold to, and A will despise. Is it not plain now, that A is twice hated, and B twice beloved?

Ti. 'Tis very clear.

Eu. This Conjunction, or, especially repeated, has the Emphasis of a contrary, or at least, a different Meaning. Would it not be otherwise absurd to say, Either Peter shall overcome me, and I'll yield; or I'll yield, and Peter shall overcome me?

Ti. A pretty Sophism, as I'm an honest Man.

Eu. I shall think it so when you have made it out, not before.

The. I have something runs in my Mind, and I'm with Child to have it out: I can't tell what to make on't, but let it be what it will, you shall have it if you please; if it be a Dream, you shall be the Interpreters, or midwife it into the World.

Eu. Although it is looked upon to be unlucky to talk of Dreams at Table, and it is immodest to bring forth before so many Men; but this Dream, or this Conception of thy Mind, be it what it will, let us have it.

The. In my Judgment it is rather the Thing than the Person that is chang'd in this Text. And the Words one and one do not refer to A and B; but either Part of them, to which of the other you please; so that chuse which you will, it must be opposed to that, which is signified by the other; as if you should say, you shall either exclude A and admit B, or you shall admit A and exclude B. Here's the Thing chang'd, and the Person the same: And it is so spoken of A, that it is the same Case, if you should say the same Thing of B; as thus, either you shall exclude B or admit A, or admit B or exclude A.

Eu. In Truth, you have very artificially solv'd this Problem: No Mathematician could have demonstrated it better upon a Slate.

Soph. That which is the greatest Difficulty to me is this; that we are forbidden to take Thought for to Morrow; when yet, Paul himself wrought with his own Hands for Bread, and sharply rebukes lazy People, and those that live upon other Men's Labour, exhorting them to take Pains, and get their Living by their Fingers Ends, that they may have wherewith to relieve others in their Necessities. Are not they holy and warrantable Labours, by which a poor Husband provides for his dear Wife and Children?

Ti. This is a Question, which, in my Opinion, may be resolv'd several Ways. First of all, This Text had a particular Respect to those Times. The Apostles being dispers'd far and wide for the Preaching of the Gospel, all sollicitous Care for a Maintenance was to be thrown aside, it being to be supply'd otherwise, having not Leisure to get their Living by their Labour; and especially, they having no Way of getting it, but by Fishing. But now the World is come to another Pass, and we all love to live at Ease, and shun Painstaking. Another Way of expounding it may be this; Christ had not forbid Industry, but Anxiety of Thought, and this Anxiety of Thought is to be understood according to the Temper of Men in common, who are anxious for nothing more than getting a Livelihood; that setting all other Things aside, this is the only Thing they mind. And our Saviour does in a Manner intimate the same himself, when he says, that one Man cannot serve two Masters. For he that wholly gives himself up to any Thing, is a Servant to it. Now he would have the Propagation of the Gospel be our chief, but yet, not our only Care. For he says, Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven, and these Things shall be added unto you. He does not say, seek only; but seek first. And besides, I take the Word to Morrow, to be hyperbolical, and in that, signifies a Time to come, a great While hence, it being the Custom of the Misers of this World, to be anxiously scraping together, and laying up for Posterity.

Eu. We allow of your Interpretation; but what does he mean, when he says, Be not sollicitous for your Life, what you shall eat? The Body is cloth'd, but the Soul does not eat.

Ti. By Anima, is meant Life, which can't subsist without Meat (or is in Danger, if you take away its Food): But it is not so, if you take away the Garment, which is more for Modesty than Necessity. If a Person is forc'd to go naked, he does not die presently; but Want of Food is certain Death.

Eu. I do not well understand how this Sentence agrees with that which follows; Is not the Life more than Meat, and the Body than Raiment? For if Life be so precious, we ought to take the more Care of it.

Ti. This Argument does rather increase our Sollicitousness than lessen it.

Eu. But this is none of our Saviour's Meaning; who, by this Argument, creates in us a stronger Confidence in the Father: For if a bountiful Father hath given us gratis that which is the more valuable, he will also bestow upon us what is less valuable: He that has given us Life, will not deny us Food: And he that has given us Bodies, will by some Means or other give us Cloaths too: Therefore, relying upon his Bounty, we have no Reason to disquiet ourselves with Anxiety of Thought, for Things of smaller Moment. What remains then, but using this World, as though we used it not, we transfer our whole Study and Application to the Love of heavenly Things, and rejecting the World and the Devil universally, with all his crafty Delusions, we chearfully serve God alone, who will never forsake his Children? But all this While, here's no Body touches the Fruits. Certainly you may eat this with Joy, for this is the Product of my own Farm, and did not cost much Care to provide it.

Ti. We have very plentifully satisfied our Bodies.

Eu. I should be glad if you had satisfied your Minds too.

Ti. Our Minds have been satisfy'd more plentifully than our Bodies.

Eu. Boy, take away, and bring some Water; now, my Friends, let us wash, that if we have in eating contracted any Guilt, being cleansed, we may conclude with a Hymn: If you please, I'll conclude with what I begun out of St. Chrysostom.

Ti. We entreat you that you would do it.

Eu. Glory to thee, O Lord; Glory to thee, O holy One; Glory to thee, O King; as thou hast given us Meat for our Bodies, so replenish our Souls with Joy and Gladness in thy holy Spirit, that we may be found acceptable in thy Sight, and may not be made asham'd, when thou shalt render to every one according to his Works.

Boy. Amen.

Ti. In Truth, it is a pious and elegant Hymn.

Eu. Of St. Chrysostom's Translation too.

Ti. Where is it to be found?

Eu. In his 56th Homily on St. Matthew.

Ti. I'll be sure to read it to Day: But I have a Mind to be informed of one Thing, why we thrice wish Glory to Christ under these three Denominations, of Lord, Holy, and King.

Eu. Because all Honour is due to him, and especially in these three Respects. We call him Lord, because he hath redeem'd us by his holy Blood from the Tyranny of the Devil, and hath taken us to himself. Secondly, We stile him Holy, because he being the Sanctifier of all Men, not being content alone to have freely pardoned us all our Sins gratis by his holy Spirit, hath bestow'd upon us his Righteousness, that we might follow Holiness. Lastly, We call him King, because we hope for the Reward of a heavenly Kingdom, from him who sits at the Right-Hand of God the Father. And all this Felicity we owe to his gratuitous Bounty, that we have Jesus Christ for our Lord, rather than the Devil to be a Tyrant over us; that we have Innocence and Sanctity, instead of the Filth and Uncleanness of our Sins; and instead of the Torments of Hell, the Joys of Life everlasting.

Ti. Indeed it is a very pious Sentence.

Eu. This is your first Visit, Gentlemen, and I must not dismiss you without Presents; but plain ones, such as your Entertainment has been. Boy, bring out the Presents: It is all one to me, whether you will draw Lots, or every one chuse for himself, they are all of a Price; that is to say, of no Value. You will not find Heliogabatus's Lottery, a hundred Horses for one, and as many Flies for another. Here are four little Books, two Dials, a Lamp, and a Pen-Case: These I suppose will be more agreeable to you than Balsams, Dentrifices, or Looking-Glasses.

Ti. They are all so good, that it is a hard Matter to chuse; but do you distribute them according to your own Mind, and they'll come the welcomer where they fall.

Eu. This little Book contains Solomon's Proverbs in Parchment, it teaches Wisdom, and it is gilded, because Gold is a Symbol of Wisdom. This shall be given to our grey-headed Timothy; that according to the Doctrine of the Gospel, to him that has Wisdom, Wisdom shall be given and abound.

Ti. I will be sure to make it my Study, to stand in less Need of it.

Eu. Sophronius, this Dial will suit you very well, whom I know to be so good a Husband of your Time, that you won't let a Moment of that precious Thing be lost. It came out of the furthest Part of Dalmatia, and that's all the Commendation I shall give it.

Sophr. You indeed admonish a Sluggard to be diligent.

Eu. You have in this little Book the Gospel written on Vellum; it deserv'd to be set with Diamonds, except that the Heart of a Man were a fitter Repository for it. Lay it up there, Theophilus, that you may be more and more like to your Name.

The. I will do my Endeavour, that you may not think your Present ill bestow'd.

Eu. There are St. Paul's Epistles; your constant Companions, Eulalius, are in this Book; you use to have Paul constantly in your Mouth, and he would not be there, if he were not in your Heart too: And now for the Time to come, you may more conveniently have him in your Hand, and in your Eye. This is a Gift with good Counsel into the Bargain. And there is no Present more precious than good Counsel.

Eu. This Lamp is very fit for Chrysoglottus, who is an insatiable Reader; and as M. Tully says, a Glutton of Books.

Ch. I give you double Thanks; first, for so choice a Present, and in the next Place, for admonishing a drowsy Person of Vigilance.

Eu. Theodidactus must have this Pen-Case, who writes much, and to excellent Purposes; and I dare pronounce these Pens to be happy, by which the Honour of our Lord Jesus Christ shall be celebrated, and that by such an Artist.

The. I would you could as well have supply'd me with Abilities, as you have with Instruments.

Eu. This contains some of the choicest of Plutarch's Books of Morals, and very fairly written by one very well skill'd in the Greek; I find in them so much Purity of Thought, that it is my Amazement, how such evangelical Notions should come into the Heart of a Heathen. This I will present to young Uranius, that is a Lover of the Greek Language. Here is one Dial left, and that falls to our Nephalius, as a thrifty Dispenser of his Time.

Neph. We give you Thanks, not only for your Presents, but your Compliments too. For this is not so much a making of Presents, as Panegyricks.

Eu. I give you double Thanks, Gentlemen: First for taking these small Matters in so good Part; and secondly, for the Comfort I have receiv'd by your learned and pious Discourses. What Effect my Entertainment may have upon you I know not; but this I am sure of, you'll leave me wiser and better for it. I know you take no Pleasure in Fiddles or Fools, and much less in Dice: Wherefore, if you please, we will pass away an Hour in seeing the rest of the Curiosities of my little Palace.

Ti. That's the very Thing we were about to desire of you.

Eu. There is no Need of entreating a Man of his Word. I believe you have seen enough of this Summer Hall. It looks three Ways, you see; and which Way soever you turn your Eye, you have a most delicate Green before you. If we please, we can keep out the Air or Rain, by putting down the Sashes, if either of them be troublesome; and if the Sun is incommodious, we have thick folding Shutters on the out-Side, and thin ones within, to prevent that. When I dine here, I seem to dine in my Garden, not in my House, for the very Walls have their Greens and their Flowers intermix'd; and 'tis no ill Painting neither. Here's our Saviour celebrating his last Supper with his elect Disciples. Here's Herod a keeping his Birth-Day with a bloody Banquet. Here's Dives, mention'd in the Gospel, in the Height of his Luxury, by and by sinking into Hell. And here is Lazarus, driven away from his Doors, by and by to be receiv'd into Abraham's Bosom.

Ti. We don't very well know this Story.

Eu. It is Cleopatra contending with Anthony, which should be most luxurious; she has drunk down the first Pearl, and now reaches forth her Hand for the other. Here is the Battel of the Centaurs; and here Alexander the Great thrusts his Launce through the Body of Clytus. These Examples preach Sobriety to us at Table, and deter a Man from Gluttony and Excess. Now let us go into my Library, it is not furnish'd with very many Books, but those I have, are very good ones.

Ti. This Place carries a Sort of Divinity in it, every Thing is so shining.

Eu. You have now before you my chiefest Treasure: You see nothing at the Table but Glass and Tin, and I have in my whole House but one Piece of Plate, and that is a gilt Cup, which I preserve very carefully for the Sake of him that gave it me. This hanging Globe gives you a Prospect of the whole World. And here upon the Wall, are the several Regions of it describ'd more at large. Upon those other Walls, you have the Pictures of the most eminent Authors: There would be no End of Painting them all. In the first Place, here is Christ sitting on the Mount, and stretching forth his Hand over his Head; the Father sends a Voice, saying, Hear ye him: the Holy Ghost, with outstretch'd Wings, and in a Glory, embracing him.

Ti. As God shall bless me, a Piece of Work worthy of Apelles.

Eu. Adjoining to the Library, there is a little Study, but a very neat one; and 'tis but removing a Picture, and there is a Chimney behind it, if the Cold be troublesome. In Summer-Time it passes for solid Wall.

Ti. Every Thing here looks like Jewels; and here's a wonderful pretty Scent.

Eu. Above all Things, I love to have my House neat and sweet, and both these may be with little Cost. My Library has a little Gallery that looks into the Garden, and there is a Chapel adjoining to it.

Ti. The Place itself deserves a Deity.

Eu. Let us go now to those three Walks above the other that you have seen, that look into the Kitchen Garden. These upper Walks have a Prospect into both Gardens; but only by Windows with Shutters; especially, in the Walls that have no Prospect into the inner Garden, and that's for the Safety of the House. Here upon the Left-Hand, because there is more Light, and fewer Windows, is painted the whole Life of Jesus, out of the History of the four Evangelists, as far as to the Mission of the Holy Ghost, and the first Preaching of the Apostles out of the Acts; and there are Notes upon the Places, that the Spectator may see near what Lake, or upon what Mountain such or such a Thing was done. There are also Titles to every Story, with an Abstract of the Contents, as that of our Saviour, I will, Be thou clean. Over against it you have the Types and Prophecies of the Old Testament; especially, out of the Prophets and Psalms, which are little else but the Life of Christ and Apostles related another Way. Here I sometimes walk, discoursing with myself, and meditating upon the unspeakable Counsel of God, in giving his Son for the Redemption of Mankind. Sometimes my Wife bears me Company, or sometimes a Friend that takes Delight in pious Things.

Ti. Who could be tired with this House?

Eu. No Body that has learn'd to live by himself. Upon the upper Border (as though not fit to be among the rest) are all the Popes Heads with their Titles, and over against them the Heads of the Cæsars, for the better taking in the Order of History. At each Corner, there is a Lodging Room, where I can repose myself, and have a Prospect of my Orchard, and my little Birds. Here, in the farthest Nook of the Meadow, is a little Banquetting House; there I sup sometimes in Summer, and I make Use of it, as an Infirmary, if any of my Family be taken ill, with any infectious Disease.

Ti. Some People are of Opinion, that those Diseases are not to be avoided.

Eu. Why then do Men shun a Pit or Poison? Or do they fear this the less, because they don't see it? No more is the Poison seen, that a Basilisk darts from his Eyes. When Necessity calls for it, I would not stick to venture my Life: But to do it without any Necessity, is Rashness. There are some other Things worth your seeing; but my Wife shall shew you them: Stay here this three Days if you please, and make my House your Home; entertain your Eyes and your Minds, I have a little Business abroad: I must ride out to some of the Neighbouring Towns.

Ti. What, a Money Business?

Eu. I would not leave such Friends for the Sake of receiving a little Money.

Ti. Perhaps you have appointed a hunting Match.

Eu. It is a Kind of Hunting indeed, but it is something else I hunt, than either Boars or Stags.

Ti. What is it then?

Eu. I'll tell you: I have a Friend in one Town lies dangerously ill; the Physician fears his Life, but I am afraid of his Soul: For I don't think he's so well prepar'd for his End as a Christian should be: I'll go and give him some pious Admonitions that he may be the better for, whether he lives or dies. In another Town there are two Men bitterly at odds, they are no ill Men neither, but Men of a very obstinate Temper. If the Matter should rise to a greater Height, I am afraid it would be of ill Consequence to more than themselves: I will do all I can in the World, to reconcile them; they are both my Kinsmen. This is my hunting Match, and if I shall have good Success in it, we'll drink their Healths.

Ti. A very pious Hunting, indeed; we pray heartily, that not Delia but Christ would give you good Success.

Eu. I had rather obtain this Prey, than have two thousand Ducats left me for a Legacy.

Ti. Will you come back quickly?

Eu. Not till I have try'd every Thing; therefore, I can't set a Time. In the mean Time, be as free with any Thing of mine, as though it were your own, and enjoy yourselves.

Ti. God be with you, forward and backward.

The APOTHEOSIS of CAPNIO.

The ARGUMENT.

Canonizing, or entring the incomparable Man, John Reuclin, into the Number of the Saints, teaches how much Honour is due to famous Men, who have by their Industry improv'd the liberal Sciences.

None that has liv'd Well, dies Ill.

POMPILIUS, BRASSICANUS.

Po. Where have you been, with your Spatter-Lashes?

Br. At Tubinga.

Po. Is there no News there?

Br. I can't but admire, that the World should run so strangely a gadding after News. I heard a Camel preach at Lovain, that we should have nothing to do with any Thing that is new.

Po. Indeed, it is a Conceit fit for a Camel. That Man, (if he be a Man,) ought never to change his old Shoes, or his Shirt, and always to feed upon stale Eggs, and drink nothing but sour Wine.

Br. But for all this, you must know, the good Man does not love old Things so well, but that he had rather have his Porridge fresh than stale.

Po. No more of the Camel; but prithee tell me, what News have you?

Br. Nay, I have News in my Budget too; but News which he says is naught.

Po. But that which is new, will be old in Time. Now if all old Things be good, and all new Things be bad, then it follows of Consequence, that that which is good at present, has been bad heretofore, and that which is now bad, will in Time come to be good.

Br. According to the Doctrine of the Camel, it must be so; and therefore, hence it follows, that he that was a young wicked Fool in Time past, because he was new, will come to be a good One, because he is grown old.

Po. But prithee, let's have the News, be it what it will.

Br. The famous triple-tongu'd Phoenix of Learning, John Reuclin, is departed this Life.

Po. For certain?

Br. Nay, it is too certain.

Po. Why, pray, what Harm is that, for a Man to leave an immortal Memory of a good Name and Reputation behind him, and to pass out of this miserable World, into the Society of the Blessed?

Br. How do you know that to be the Case?

Po. It is plain, for he can't die otherwise, who has liv'd as he did.

Br. You would say so, indeed, if you knew what I know.

Po. What's that, I pray?

Br. No, no, I must not tell you.

Po. Why so?

Br. Because he that entrusted me with the Secret, made me promise Silence.

Po. Do you entrust me with it upon the same Condition, and, upon my honest Word, I'll keep Counsel.

Br. That honest Word has often deceived me; but however, I'll venture; especially, it being a Matter of that Kind, that it is fit all honest Men should know it. There is at Tubinge, a certain Franciscan, a Man accounted of singular Holiness in every Bodies Opinion but his own.

Po. That you mention, is the greatest Argument in the World of true Piety.

Br. If I should tell you his Name, you'd say as much, for you know the Man.

Po. What if I shall guess at him?

Br. Do, if you will.

Po. Hold your Ear then.

Br. What needs that, when here's no Body within Hearing?

Po. But however, for Fashion Sake.

Br. 'Tis the very same.

Po. He is a Man of undoubted Credit. If he says a Thing, it is to me, as true as the Gospel.

Br. Mind me then, and I'll give you the naked Truth of the Story. My Friend Reuclin was sick, indeed very dangerously; but yet, there was some Hopes of his Recovery; he was a Man worthy never to grow old, be sick, or die. One Morning I went to visit my Franciscan, that he might ease my Mind of my Trouble by his Discourse. For when my Friend was sick, I was sick too, for I lov'd him as my own Father.

Po. Phoo! There's no Body but lov'd him, except he were a very bad Man indeed.

Br. My Franciscan says to me, Brassicanus, leave off grieving, our Reuclin is well. What, said I, Is he well all on a sudden then? For but two Days ago, the Doctors gave but little Hopes of him. Then, says he, he is so well recover'd, that he will never be sick again. Don't weep, says he, (for he saw the Tears standing in my Eyes) before you have heard the Matter out. I have not indeed seen the Man this six Days, but I pray for him constantly every Day that goes over my Head. This Morning after Mattins, I laid myself upon my Couch, and fell into a gentle pleasant Slumber.

Po. My Mind presages some joyful Thing.

Br. You have no bad Guess with you. Methought, says he, I was standing by a little Bridge, that leads into a wonderful pleasant Meadow; the emerald Verdure of the Grass and Leaves affording such a charming Prospect; the infinite Beauty, and Variety of the Flowers, like little Stars, were so delightful, and every Thing so fragrant, that all the Fields on this Side the River, by which that blessed Field was divided from the rest, seem'd neither to grow, nor to be green; but look'd dead, blasted, and withered. And in the Interim, while I was wholly taken up with the Prospect, Reuclin, as good Luck would have it, came by; and as he past by, gave me his Blessing in Hebrew. He was gotten half Way over the Bridge before I perceived him, and as I was about to run to him, he look'd back, and bid me keep off. You must not come yet, says he, but five Years hence, you shall follow me. In the mean Time, do you stand by a Spectator, and a Witness of what is done. Here I put in a Word, says I, was Reuclin naked, or had he Cloaths on; was he alone, or had he Company? He had, says he, but one Garment, and that was a very white one; you would have said, it had been a Damask, of a wonderful shining White, and a very pretty Boy with Wings followed him, which I took to be his good Genius.

Po. But had he no evil Genius with him?

Br. Yes, the Franciscan told me he thought he had. For there followed him a great Way off, some Birds, that were all over Black, except, that when they spread their Wings, they seem'd to have Feathers, of a Mixture of White and Carnation. He said, that by their Colour and Cry, one might have taken them for Magpies, but that they were sixteen Times as big; about the size of Vultures, having Combs upon their Heads, with crooked Beaks and Gorbellies. If there had been but three of them, one would have taken them for Harpyes.

Po. And what did these Devils attempt to do?

Br. They kept at a Distance, chattering and squalling at the Hero Reuclin, and were ready to set upon him, if they durst.

Po. What hindred them?

Br. Turning upon them, and making the Sign of the Cross with his Hand at them, he said, Be gone, ye cursed Fiends to a Place that's fitter for you. You have Work enough to do among Mortals, your Madness has no Power over me, that am now lifted in the Roll of Immortality. The Words were no sooner out of his Mouth, says the Franciscan, but these filthy Birds took their Flight, but left such a Stink behind them, that a House of Office would have seem'd Oyl of sweet Marjoram, or Ointment of Spikenard to it. He swore, he had rather go to Hell, than snuff up such a Perfume again.

Po. A Curse upon these Pests.

Br. But, hear what the Franciscan told me besides: While I was intent upon these Things, says he, St. Jerome was come close to the Bridge, and saluted Reuclin in these Words, God save thee, my most holy Companion, I am ordered to conduct thee to the Mansions of the blessed Souls above, which the divine Bounty has appointed thee as a Reward for thy most pious Labours. With that he took out a Garment, and put it upon Reuclin. Then, said I, tell me in what Habit or Form St. Jerome appear'd, was he so old as they paint him? Did he wear a Cowl or a Hat, or the Garb of a Cardinal? Or had he a Lion by his Side? Nothing of all these, said he; but his Person was comely, which made his Age appear such as carried in it much Comeliness, but no Deformity. What Need had he to have a Lion by his Side, as he is commonly painted? His Gown came down to his Heels, as transparent as Crystal, and of the same Fashion of that he gave to Reuclin. It was all over painted with Tongues of three several Colours; some imitated Rubies, some Emeralds, and others Sapphires; and beside the Clearness of it, the Order set it off very much.

Po. An Intimation, I suppose, of the three Tongues that he profess'd.

Br. Without doubt: For he said, that upon the very Borders of the Garments were the Characters of these three Languages inscrib'd in their different Colours.

Po. Had Jerome no Company with him?

Br. No Company, do you say? The whole Field swarm'd with Myriads of Angels, that fill'd the Air as thick, as those little Corpuscles they call Atoms, fly in the Sun Beams; pardon the Meanness of the Comparison. If they had not been as transparent as Glass, there would have been no Heaven nor Earth to have been seen.

Po. O brave, I am glad with all my Heart, for Reuclin's, Sake; but what follow'd?

Br. Jerome, (says he) for Honour's Sake, giving Reuclin the Right-Hand, and embracing him, conducts him into the Meadow, and up a Hill that was in the middle of it, where they kiss'd and embrac'd one another again: In the mean Time, the Heavens open'd over their Heads to a prodigious Wideness, and there appear'd a Glory so unutterable, as made every Thing else, that pass'd for wonderful before, to look mean and sordid.

Po. Can't you give us some Representation of it?

Br. No, how should I, that did not see it? He who did see it, says, that he was not able to express the very Dream of it. He said, he would die a thousand Deaths to see it over again, if it were but for one Moment.

Po. How then?

Br. Out of this Overture of the Heavens, there was let down a great Pillar of Fire that was transparent, and of a very pleasant Form: By this the two holy Souls were carried into Heaven, in one anothers Embraces; a Choir of Angels all the While accompanying them, with so charming a Melody, that the Franciscan says, he is never able to think of the Delight of it without weeping. And after this there follow'd a wonderful fragrant Smell. When he waked out of his Dream, if you will call it a Dream, he was just like a mad Man. He would not believe he was in his Cell; he called for his Bridge and his Meadow; he could not speak or think of any Thing else but them. The Seniors of the Convent, when they found the Story to be no Fable, for it is certain that Reuclin dy'd at the very Instant that the holy Man had this Vision, they unanimously gave Thanks to God, that abundantly rewards good Men for their good Deeds.

Po. What have we to do, but to set down this holy Man's Name in the Calendar of Saints?

Br. I should have done that if the Franciscan had seen nothing at all of this, and in Gold Letters too, I'll assure you, next to St. Jerome himself.

Po. And let me die if I don't put him down in my Book so too.

Br. And besides that, I'll set him in Gold in my little Chapel, among the choicest of my Saints.

Po. And if I had a Fortune to my Mind, I'd have him in Diamonds.

Br. He shall stand in my Library, the very next to St. Jerome.

Po. And I'll have him in mine too.

Br. If they were grateful, every one who loves Learning and Languages, especially, the holy Tongues, would do so too.

Po. Truly it is no more than he deserves. But han't you some Scruple upon your Mind, in as much as he is not yet canoniz'd by the Authority of the Bishop of Rome?

Br. Why, pray, who canoniz'd (for that's the Word) St. Jerome? Who canoniz'd St. Paul, or the Virgin Mary? Pray tell me whose Memory is most sacred among all good Men? Those that by their eminent Piety, and the Monuments of their Learning and good Life, have entitled themselves to the Veneration of all Men; or Catherine of Sien, that was sainted by Pius the Second, in favour of the Order and the City?

Po. You say true: That's the right Worship, that by the Will of Heaven, is paid to the Merits of the Dead, whose Benefits are always sensibly felt.

Br. And can you then deplore the Death of this Man? If long Life be a Blessing, he enjoyed it. He has left behind him immortal Monuments of his Vertue, and by his good Works, consecrated his Name to Immortality. He is now in Heaven, out of the Reach of Misfortunes, conversing with St. Jerome himself.

Po. But he suffer'd a great Deal tho' in his Life.

Br. But yet St. Jerome suffered more. It is a Blessing to be persecuted by wicked Men for being good.

Po. I confess so, and St. Jerome suffer'd many unworthy Things from the worst of Men, for the best of Deeds.

Br. That which Satan did formerly by the Scribes and Pharisees against the Lord Jesus, he continues still to do by Pharisaical Men, against good Men, who have deserved well from the World by their Studies. He now reaps the blessed Harvest of the Seed he has been sowing. In the mean Time, it will be our Duty, to preserve his Memory sacred; to honour his Name, and to address him often in some such Manner as follows. O holy Soul, be thou propitious to Languages, and to those that cultivate them: Favour the holy Tongues, and destroy evil Tongues that are infected with the Poison of Hell.

Po. I'll do't myself, and earnestly persuade all my Friends to do it. I make no Question but there will be those that will desire to have some little Form of Prayer, according to Custom, to celebrate the Memory of this most holy Hero.

Br. Do you mean that which they call a Collect?

Po. Yes.

Br. I have one ready, that I provided before his Death.

Po. I pray let's hear it.

Br. O God, that art the Lover of Mankind, that hast by thy chosen Servant John Reuclin, renew'd to Mankind the Gift of Tongues, by which thy holy Spirit from above, did formerly furnish thy Apostles for their Preaching the Gospel; grant that all thy People may every where, in all Languages, preach the Glory of thy Son Jesus Christ, to the confounding of the Tongues of false Apostles; who being in a Confederacy to uphold the impious Tower of Babel, endeavour to obscure thy Glory, and to advance their own, when to thee alone, together with thy only Son Jesus Christ our Lord, and the holy Spirit, is due all Glory to eternal Ages. Amen.

Po. A most elegant and holy Prayer. As I live, it shall be mine daily. And I account this a happy Opportunity, that has brought me to the Knowledge of so joyful a Story.

Br. Mayst thou long enjoy that Comfort, and so farewell.

Po. Fare you well too.

Br. I will fare well, but not be a Cook.

A LOVER and MAIDEN.

The ARGUMENT.

This Colloquy presents you with a very chaste Wooing, mingling many philosophical Notions with pleasant Jokes. Of not being hasty in marrying; of chusing, not only for the Sake of the outward Person, but the inward Endowments of the Mind; of the Firmness of Wedlock; of not contracting Matrimony without the Consent of Parents; of living chastly in Matrimony; of bringing up Children piously; that the Soul is not where it animates, but where it loves. The Description of a deformed Man. That Wedlock is to be preferr'd before a single Life, and is not, as it is vulgarly called, a Halter. That we must not consult our Affections so much as Reason.

PAMPHILUS and MARY.

PA. Good Morrow, Madam, cruel, hard Heart, inflexible.

Ma. Good Morrow to you too, Mr. Pamphilus, as often, and as much, and by what Names you please: But you seem to have forgotten my Name, 'tis Mary.

Pa. It should rather have been Martia.

Ma. Why so, pray, what is Mars to me?

Pa. Because just as Mars makes a Sport of killing Men, so do you; saving that you do it the more cruelly of the two, because you kill one that loves you.

Ma. Say you so! pray where's the great Slaughter of Men that I have made? Where's the Blood of the Slain?

Pa. You may see one dead Corpse before your Face, if you look upon me.

Ma. What strange Story is this? Does a dead Man talk and walk? I wish I may never meet with more frightful Ghosts than you are.

Pa. Ay, indeed, you make a Jest of it; but for all that, you kill poor me, and more cruelly too, than if you stuck a Dagger in my Breast. For now I, poor Wretch as I am, die a lingering Death.

Ma. Prithee tell me, how many Women with Child have miscarried at the Sight of thee?

Pa. My Paleness shews I have no more Blood in my Body than a Ghost.

Ma. Indeed you are as pale as a Violet; You are as pale as a ripe Cherry, or purple Grape.

Pa. You coquet it with my Misery.

Ma. If you can't believe me, look in the Glass.

Pa. I would never desire a better Glass, nor do I believe there is a better in the World than I am a looking in already.

Ma. What Looking-Glass do you mean?

Pa. Your Eyes.

Ma. You Banterer! that's like you. But how do you prove yourself to be dead? Do dead Folks eat?

Pa. Yes, they do; but Things that have no Relish, as I do.

Ma. What do they feed upon?

Pa. Mallows, Leeks, and Lupines.

Ma. But you feed upon Capons and Partridges.

Pa. If I do, I relish them no more than Beets without Pepper or Vinegar.

Ma. Poor Creature! but yet you're in pretty good Case, for all that. And do dead Folks talk too?

Pa. Just as I do, with a weak Voice.

Ma. But when I heard you rallying your Rival a little While ago, your Voice was not very low then. But, prithee, do Ghosts walk, wear Cloaths, and sleep?

Pa. Yes, and enjoy one another too, after their Manner.

Ma. Thou art a merry Fellow.

Pa. But what will you say, if I prove it by undeniable Arguments, that I am dead, and that you have kill'd me too.

Ma. God forbid, Pamphilus; but let's hear your Arguments, however.

Pa. In the first Place, I think you will grant me this, that Death is only a Separation of Soul and Body.

Ma. I grant it.

Pa. But you must grant it so as not to eat your Words.

Ma. No, I will not.

Pa. You will not deny, I suppose, that the Person that takes away another's Life, is a Murtherer.

Ma. I grant that too.

Pa. I suppose you will grant that which has been allow'd by the greatest Men of many Ages, that the Soul of a Man is not really where it animates, but where it loves.

Ma. Make that a little plainer, I can't well understand it then.

Pa. You might as well bid me make an Adamant sensible of it.

Ma. I am a Maid, not a Stone.

Pa. Tis true, but harder than an Adamant Stone.

Ma. Go on with your Inferences.

Pa. Those that are in a Trance, do neither hear, nor see, nor smell, nor feel, if you kill them outright.

Ma. Indeed I have heard so.

Pa. What do you think is the Reason?

Ma. Do you, Philosopher, tell that.

Pa. Because their Mind is in Heaven, where it enjoys what it dearly loves; and therefore is absent from the Body.

Ma. Well, what then?

Pa. What then, hard-hearted Creature? Then it follows, that I am dead, and you have killed me.

Ma. Where is your Soul then?

Pa. Where it loves.

Ma. Who took this Soul of yours away? What do you Sigh for? Tell me freely: There's no Hurt in it.

Pa. A cruel Maid, that I could not be angry with if she kill'd me outright.

Ma. You're very good-humour'd; but why don't you take her Soul from her too, and pay her in her own Coin, according to the old Proverb.

Pa. I should be the happiest Man in the World, if I could make that Exchange, that her Heart would pass as wholly into my Breast, as mine has into hers.

Ma. But may I play the Sophister with you now?

Pa. The Sophistress.

Ma. Can one and the same Body be both alive and dead?

Pa. Not at the same Time.

Ma. Is the Body dead, when the Soul is out of it?

Pa. Yes.

Ma. Nor does it animate it, but when it is in it?

Pa. No, it does not.

Ma. How comes it to pass then, that when it is there where it loves, it yet animates the Body it is gone out of? And if it animates when it loves any where, how is that called a dead Body which it animates?

Pa. Indeed, you argue very cunningly, but you shan't catch me there. That Soul, which after some Sort governs the Body of the Lover, is but improperly call'd a Soul, when it is but some small Remains of the Soul; just as the Smell of a Rose remains in the Hand, when the Rose is gone.

Ma. I see it is a hard Matter to catch a Fox in a Trap. But answer me this Question, does not the Person that kills, act?

Pa. Yes.

Ma. And does not he suffer who is kill'd?

Pa. Yes.

Ma. And how comes it about then, that when he that loves, acts, and she that is lov'd, suffers, she that is lov'd should be said to kill, when he that loves, rather kills himself?

Pa. Nay, on the Contrary, 'tis he that loves that suffers, and she is lov'd, that acts.

Ma. You will never prove that by all your Grammar.

Pa. Well, I'll prove it by Logic then.

Ma. But do so much as answer me this one Question, do you love voluntarily, or against your Will?

Pa. Voluntarily.

Ma. Then since a Person is at Liberty, whether he will love or no; he that does love, is guilty of Felo de se, and accuses a Maid wrongfully.

Pa. A Maid does not kill in being lov'd, but in not loving again. He is guilty of killing, that can save and don't save.

Ma. What if a young Man should fall into an unlawful Love, as suppose with another Man's Wife, or a Vestal Virgin? Must she love him again, to save the Lover?

Pa. But the young Man, meaning myself, loves one whom he ought to love, and by Right and good Reason, and yet am murthered. If Murther be a light Matter, I could indict you for Witchcraft too.

Ma. God forbid, do you make a Circe of me?

Pa. You are more barbarous than Circe herself, I had rather be a Hog or a Bear, than as I now am, half dead.

Ma. By what Sort of Enchantments do I kill Men?

Pa. By the Witchcraft of your Eyes.

Ma. Would you have me take my noxious Eyes off of you then.

Pa. No, by no Means, rather look more upon me.

Ma. If my Eyes are so infectious, how comes it about they don't throw others I look upon into a Consumption too? I therefore rather believe the Infection is in your own Eyes than mine.

Pa. Is it not enough for you to kill poor Pamphilus, but you must insult him too.

Ma. O pretty dead Creature! but when must I come to your Funeral?

Pa. Sooner than you think for, if you don't relieve me.

Ma. Can I perform such a wonderful Cure?

Pa. You can raise a dead Man to Life again with the greatest Ease imaginable.

Ma. Ay, if I had the Grand-Elixir.

Pa. You have no Need of any Medicine, do but love me again. And what's easier than that? Nay, what's more just? You can no other Way in the World get clear of the Crime of Murther.

Ma. In what Court must I be try'd? In the Court of Chancery?

Pa. No, in the Court of Venus.

Ma. They say, she is a very merciful Goddess.

Pa. Nay, the most severe in the World.

Ma. Has she any Thunderbolts?

Pa. No.

Ma. Has she got a Trident?

Pa. No.

Ma. Has she got a Spear?

Pa. No; but she is the Goddess of the Sea.

Ma. But I don't go to Sea.

Pa. But she has a Son.

Ma. Youth is not very formidable.

Pa. But he is very revengeful and resolute.

Ma. What will he do to me?

Pa. What will he do? That which I can't wish to be done to one I wish so well to. God forbid I should.

Ma. Tell me what it is, for I an't afraid to hear it.

Pa. Well, I'll tell you then; if you slight me that love you, and am no Way unworthy of your Love; I shall be much mistaken if he don't by his Mother's Order shoot you with a venomous Dart, and make you fall deeply in Love with some sorry Fellow or other, that would not love you again.

Ma. That's a most horrid Punishment indeed. I had rather die a thousand Deaths than to be so bitterly in Love with an ugly Man, and one that won't love me neither.

Pa. But we had a notable Example of this not long since upon a certain Maid.

Ma. Where did she live?

Pa. At Orleans.

Ma. How many Years ago was it?

Pa. How many Years! not ten Months.

Ma. What was her Name? What do you stick at?

Pa. Nothing at all. I know her as well as I know you.

Ma. Why don't you tell me her Name then?

Pa. Because I am afraid it is ominous. I wish she had been of some other Name. She was your own Namesake.

Ma. Who was her Father?

Pa. Her Father is alive at this Time, and is a topping Lawyer, and a rich Man.

Ma. Tell me his Name.

Pa. Mauritius.

Ma. His Sirname.

Pa. Aglaius.

Ma. Is her Mother alive?

Pa. No, she died lately.

Ma. What did she die of, say you?

Pa. Why of Grief, and it had like to have cost her Father his Life too, for all he was a Man of a strong Constitution.

Ma. Mayn't a Body know her Mother's Name.

Pa. Yes, Sophrona, every Body knows her Name. What do you mean by that Question? Do you think I invent a Lye?

Ma. Why should I think so of you? Our Sex is most to be suspected for that. But tell me what became of the Maid?

Pa. The Maid, as I told you before, came of very honest Parents, had a good Fortune, was very handsome, and in few Words, was a Match for a Prince; a certain Gentleman of an equal Fortune courted her.

Ma. What was his Name?

Pa. Ah me, I can't bear the Thoughts of it, his Name was Pamphilus as well as mine. He try'd all the Ways in the World to gain her good Will; but she slighted all his Offers. The young Man pines away with Grief. Presently after she fell deep in Love with one more like an Ape than a Man.

Ma. How!

Pa. Ay, so wretchedly in Love, that 'tis impossible to relate it.

Ma. Such a pretty Maid to fall in Love with such an ugly Fellow?

Pa. Ay, with a long-visag'd, scald-headed, bald-pated, hollow-ey'd, snub-nos'd, wide-mouth'd, rotton-tooth'd, stuttering, scabby-bearded, hump-back'd, gor-belly'd, bandy-legg'd Fellow.

Ma. You tell me of a mere Thersites.

Pa. Nay, they said he had but one Ear, neither.

Ma. It may be he had lost the other in the War.

Pa. No, he lost it in Peace.

Ma. Who dar'd to cut it off?

Pa. Jack Ketch.

Ma. It may be his Riches made Amends.

Pa. Over Head and Ears in Debt. And with this Husband this charming Girl now spends her Days, and is now and then drubb'd into the Bargain.

Ma. That is a miserable Story indeed.

Pa. But it is a true one. It is a just Retaliation upon her, for slighting the young Gentleman.

Ma. I should rather chuse to be thunder-struck than ty'd to endure such a Husband.

Pa. Then don't provoke Justice, but love him that loves you.

Ma. Well, if that will do, I do love you again.

Pa. Ay, But I would have that Love constant as mine own. I court a Wife, not a Mistress.

Ma. I suppose so, but yet we ought to be very deliberate in that which being once done, can never be undone again.

Pa. I have been deliberating too long already.

Ma. Love is none of the best Advisers; see that he han't impos'd upon you, for they say he is blind.

Pa. But that Love has Eyes in his Head, that proceeds from Judgment; you don't appear so amiable, only because I love you, but you are really so, and therefore I love you.

Ma. But perhaps you don't know me thoroughly. When once a Shoe is on, then you'll know where it pinches.

Pa. I'll venture it, but I gather from many Conjectures, that it will be happy for me.

Ma. What, are you an Augur then?

Pa. Yes, I am.

Ma. Pray by what Auguries do you prognosticate all this? What, hath the Night Owl appear'd luckily?

Pa. She flies for Fools.

Ma. Did you see a pair of Pigeons on your right Hand?

Pa. Nothing of all this. But have for some Years been satisfy'd of the Honesty of your Father and Mother; and in the first Place, that's no bad Sign. Nor am I ignorant how modestly and religiously you have been brought up by them, and it is a greater Advantage to be honestly educated, than honourably born. And then there's another good Circumstance besides, that as my Parents are none of the worst, so yours and mine have been very intimate for many Years, and you and I have known one another from our very Childhood, as they use to say; and besides all this, our Humours agree very well together. Our Age, Fortunes, Quality, and Parentage are pretty equal. And last of all, that which is the chief Thing in Friendship, your Temper seems to agree very well with mine. There are some Things that may be very good in themselves that may not agree with others. How acceptable my Temper may be to yours, I don't know. These are the Auguries, my Dear, that make me prognosticate that a Marriage between you and me would be happy, lasting, comfortable and pleasant, unless you shall prevent it by a Denial.

Ma. What would you have me say?

Pa. I will sing I am thine first, and you shall sing I am thine after me.

Ma. That indeed is but a short Song, but it has a long Chorus.

Pa. What signifies it how long it is, so it be a merry one.

Ma. I have that Respect for you, I would not have you do what you should repent of when done.

Pa. Leave off teasing me.

Ma. Perhaps I shall not appear so amiable in your Eye, when Age or Sickness have spoil'd my Beauty.

Pa. No more, my Dear, shall I myself be always so young and lusty. I don't only look at that blooming, lovely Body of yours, but it is your Guest within it I am most in Love with.

Ma. What Guest do you mean?

Pa. This Soul of yours, whose Beauty will grow as Years increase.

Ma. In Truth you have a very penetrating Sight, if you can see that through so many Coverings.

Pa. It is with the Eyes of my Mind that I see your Mind, and then besides we shall be ever and anon renewing our Age by our Children.

Ma. But then I shall lose my Maidenhead.

Pa. Right enough; but prithee tell me, if you had a fine Orchard, would you rather chuse never to have nothing but Blossoms on the Trees; or would you rather, that the Blossoms should fall off, and see the Boughs laden with ripe Apples?

Ma. Oh, how cunningly you can argue!

Pa. Answer me but this one Question, which is the finest Sight, a Vine lying along upon the Ground and rotting, or twining round a Stake or an Elm-Tree, loaden with ripe Grapes of a curious purple Colour?

Ma. And pray do you answer me this Question; which is the most pleasant Sight, a Rose fresh and fair upon the Tree, or one gathered and withering in the Hand?

Pa. I look upon that the happier Rose that dies in a Man's Hand; there delighting the Sight and Smell, than that which withers away upon the Bush, for it would die there, if it were let alone. As that Wine has the most Honour done it; that is drank before it grows dead: Though this is to be said, that the Flower of a Maid does not presently fade, as soon as she is married: Nay, I have seen a great many, that before Marriage look'd pale and languid, and just as if they were dropping into the Ground: but having been in the Embraces of a Husband, they have brightened up, just as if they just then began to bloom.

Ma. But for all that, a Maidenhead is accounted a fine Thing.

Pa. A young Virgin is indeed a pretty Thing: But what's more monstrous than an old Maid? If your Mother had not shed that Blossom, we should never have had this fine Flower, yourself. And if we don't make a barren Match, as I hope we shan't, there will be never a Maid the less for us.

Ma. But they say Chastity is very well pleasing to God.

Pa. And for that Reason I would marry a chaste Maid, that I may live chastly with her. The Union of Minds will be more than that of Bodies. We'll get Subjects for the King, and Servants for Christ, and where will the Unchastity of this Matrimony be? And who can tell but we may live together like Joseph and Mary? And in the mean Time, we'll learn to be Virgins, we don't arrive at Perfection all at once.

Ma. What do you talk of? Is Virginity to be violated, that it may be learned?

Pa. Why not? As by little and little drinking Wine sparingly, we learn to be abstemious. Which do you think is the most temperate Person, he that is sitting at a Table full of Delicacies, and abstains from them, or he who is out of the Reach of those Things that incite Intemperance?

Ma. I think he is the most temperate Person, that the greatest Plenty can't debauch.

Pa. Which is the most laudable for Chastity, he that castrates himself, or he that having his Members entire, forbears Venery?

Ma. The latter, in my Opinion: I should call the former a Madman.

Pa. Don't they in a Manner castrate themselves, that abjure Matrimony?

Ma. I think they do.

Pa. Then it is no Virtue to forbear Coition.

Ma. Is it not?

Pa. I prove it thus; if it were of itself a Virtue not to copulate, it were a Sin to do it: so that it follows of Consequence, it is a Fault not to copulate, and a Virtue to do it.

Ma. When does this Case happen?

Pa. As often as the Husband requires his due of his Wife; especially if he would embrace her for the Sake of Procreation.

Ma. But if it be out of Wantonness? Is it not lawful to deny him?

Pa. He may be admonish'd or dissuaded by soft Language to forbear; but if he insists upon it, he ought not to be refus'd. But I hear very few Husbands complain of their Wives upon this Account.

Ma. But Liberty is a very sweet Thing.

Pa. Virginity is rather a greater Burthen. I will be your King, and you shall be my Queen, and we'll govern the Family according to our Pleasure: And do you think that a Bondage?

Ma. Marriage is called a Halter.

Pa. They deserve a Halter that call it so. Pray tell me, is not your Soul and Body bound together?

Ma. Yes, I think they are.

Pa. Just like a Bird in a Cage; and yet, ask it if it would be freed from it, I believe it will say, no: And what's the Reason of that? Because it is bound by its own Consent.

Ma. But we have neither of us got much of Portion.

Pa. We are the safer for that, you shall add to it at Home by good Housewifery, and that is not without good Reason said to be a great Revenue, and I'll increase it abroad by my Industry.

Ma. But Children bring a great many Cares along with them.

Pa. Have done with Scruples.

Ma. Would you have me marry a dead Man?

Pa. No, but I shall come to Life again then.

Ma. Well, you have removed my Objection. My Pamphilus, farewell.

Pa. Do you take Care of that.

Ma. I wish you a good Night. Why do you sigh?

Pa. A good Night, say you, I wish you would give me what you wish me.

Ma. Soft and fair, you are a little too hasty.

Pa. Must I not carry nothing of you along with me?

Ma. This sweet Ball; it will cheer your Heart.

Pa. But give me a Kiss too.

Ma. No, I have a Mind to keep my Maidenhead for you entire and untouch'd.

Pa. Will a Kiss take any Thing from your Virginity?

Ma. Will you give me leave to kiss other Folks?

Pa. No, by no Means, I'd have my Kisses kept for myself.

Ma. Well, I'll keep 'em for you: But there is another Reason why I dare not give you a Kiss, as Things are at present.

Pa. What is that?

Ma. You say your Soul is gone out of your Body into mine, so that there is but very little left. I am afraid that in Kissing, the little that is left in you, should jump out of you into me, and so you should be quite dead. Shake Hands as a Pledge of my Love, and so farewell. Do you see that you manage the Matter vigorously, and I'll pray to God in the mean Time, that whatsoever be done, may be for both our good.

The VIRGIN AVERSE TO MATRIMONY.

The ARGUMENT.

A Virgin averse to Matrimony, will needs be a Nun. She is dissuaded from it, and persuaded to moderate her Inclination in that Matter, and to do nothing against her Parents Consent, but rather to marry. That Virginity may be maintain'd in a conjugal Life. The Monks Way of living in Celibacy is rally'd. Children, why so call'd. He abhors those Plagiaries who entice young Men and Maids into Monasteries, as though Salvation was to be had no other Way; whence it comes to pass, that many great Wits are as it were buried alive.