COLLEGE BOYS
It is the tendency of the age to excuse many social errors in young people, and especially is this true of the mischievous pranks of college boys. If Harvard football heroes and their “rooters,” for example, wish to let their hair grow long and wear high turtle-necked red “sweaters,” corduroy trousers and huge “frat” pins, I, for one, can see no grave objection, for “boys will be boys” and I am, I hope, no “old fogy” in such matters. But I also see no reason why these same young fellows should not be interested in the graces of the salon and the arts of the drawing-room. Consider, for example, the following two letters, illustrating the correct and incorrect method in which two young college men should correspond, and tell me if there is not some place in our college curriculum for a Professor of Deportment:
An Incorrect Letter from a Princeton Student to a Yale Student Congratulating the Latter on His Football Victory
DEAR MIKE:
Here’s your damn money. I was a fool to give you odds.
ED.
P. S. What happened at the Nass? I woke up Sunday with a terrific
welt on my forehead and somebody’s hat with the initials L. G.
T., also a Brooks coat. Do you know whose they are? P. P. S.
Please for God’s sake don’t cash this check until the fifteenth
or I’m ruined.
And here is the way in which I would suggest that this same letter be indited.
A Correct Letter from a Princeton Student to a Yale Student Congratulating the Latter on His Football Victory
MY DEAR “FRIENDLY ENEMY”:
Well, well, it was a jolly game, wasn’t it, and it was so good to
see you in “Old Nassau.” I am sorry that you could not have come
earlier in the fall, when the trees were still bronze and gold. I
also regret exceedingly that you did not stay over until Sunday,
for it would have been such a treat to have taken you to see the
Graduate School buildings and the Cleveland Memorial Tower.
However, “better luck next time.”
The enclosed check is, as you may well guess, in payment of our
wager on the result of the gridiron-contest. Truly, I am almost
glad that I lost, for I can not but think that gambling in any
form is at best an unprofitable diversion, and this has taught
me, I hope, a lesson from which I may well benefit. Do not think
me a “prig,” dear Harry, I beg of you, for I am sure that you
will agree with me that even a seemingly innocent wager on a
football match may lead in later life to a taste for gambling
with dice and cards or even worse. Shall we not agree to make
this our last wager—or at least, next time, let us not lend it
the appearance of professional gambling by giving “odds,” such as
I gave you this year.
You must have thought it frightfully rude of me not to have seen
you to the train after that enjoyable evening at the Nassau Inn,
but to tell you the truth, Harry, the nervous excitement of the
day proved too much for me and I was forced to retire. My
indisposition was further accentuated by a slight mishap which
befell me outside the Inn but which need cause you no alarm as a
scalp wound was the only result and a few days’ rest in my cozy
dormitory room will soon set matters to rights. I trust, however,
that you will explain to your friends the cause of my sudden
departure and my seeming inhospitality. Such jolly fellows they
were—and I am only too glad to find that the “bulldogs” are as
thoroughly nice as the chaps we have down here. Incidentally, I
discovered, somewhat to my dismay, as you may well imagine, that
in taking my departure I inadvertently “walked off” with the hat
and overcoat of one of your friends whose initials are L. G. T. I
am mortified beyond words and shall send the garments to you by
the next post with my deepest apologies to the unlucky owner.
Rest assured, Harry my friend, that I am looking forward to
visiting you some time in the near future, for I have always been
curious to observe the many interesting sights of “Eli land.”
Particularly anxious am I to see the beautiful trees which have
given New Haven its name of “the City of Elms,” and the
collection of primitive paintings for which your college is
justly celebrated. And in closing may I make the slight request
that you postpone the cashing of my enclosed check until the
fifteenth of this month, as, due to some slight misunderstanding,
I find that my account is in the unfortunate condition of being
“overdrawn.”
Believe me, Harry, with kindest regards to your nice friends and
yourself and with congratulations on the well deserved victory of
your “eleven,”
Your devoted friend and well wisher,
EDWARD ELLIS COCHRAN.