INCONVENIENCE OF A PETITION.
A reverend Gentleman, when visiting his parishioners, was in one house first saluted with the growling of a dog, and afterwards by the cheering voice of a female, d—ning the dog for his ill-breeding. He advanced and enquired for the master of the house. “What do ye want wi’ that?” said the female. “We are wishing to see him,” said the Reverend Gentleman, “will ye be so good as bring him to us?” “I’ll gang nae sic an errand,” said she; “ye may gang doon to the market yoursel’, an’ ye’ll see him there: they’re thrang killin’ the day. But what are ye wanting wi’ Pate, if a body micht speir.” “This is the minister,” said the elder who accompanied him, “he is wishing to have some conversation with Peter, and to put up a petition.” “A petition! a petition!” exclaimed the matron, “ye’ll put up nae petition here; the house is wee eneugh already, an’ wha do ye think’s gaun to be fashed wi’ masons an’ wrights an’ a’ thae clamjamfray about their house? Faith no—the devil a petition will be putten up in this house, as langs am in’t we’re gaun to flit at Whitsunday, so ye may come then an’ put up as mony petitions as ye like.”