Page 124—Riddles And Catches

Riddles And Catches
Why are cowardly soldiers like butter?
Because they run when exposed to fire.
Why is hot bread like a caterpillar?
Because it's the grub that makes the butter fly.
Why are ripe potatoes in the ground like thieves?
Because they ought to be taken up.
Why is an acquitted prisoner like a gun?
Because he is taken up, charged, and then let off.
Why is a beggar like a barrister?
Because he pleads for his daily bread.
Why are lawyers like scissors?
Because they never cut each other, but only what is placed between them.
Why is a newspaper like an army?
Because it has leaders, columns, and reviews.
Why is a prosy story-teller like a railway tunnel?
Because he is a great bore.
Why is a dun like a woodcock?
Because he bores with his bill.
Why is grass like a mouse?
Because the cat'll (cattle) eat it.
Why is the sun like a good loaf?
Because it's light when it rises.
Why is a plum-cake like the ocean?
Because it contains many curra(e)nts.
Why are tears like potatoes?
Because they spring from the eyes.
Why is Queen Victoria like a hat?
Because they both have crowns.
What is the difference between a steep hill and a large pill?
One is hard to get up, the other is hard to get down.
What is the difference between a pastry-cook and a billsticker?
One puffs up paste, the other pastes up puffs.
What is the difference between an auction and seasickness?
One is the sale of effects and the other is the effects of a sail.
Why is a photographic album like a drainer on a bar counter?
Because it is often a receptacle for empty mugs.
Why is an interesting book like a toper's nose?
Because it is read (red) to the end.
What relation is your uncle's brother to you, if he is not your uncle?
Your father.
What is the best throw of the dice?
To throw them away.
What tree clothes half the world?—Cotton.
What tree gives milk? The cow tree.
What tree is a city in Ireland?—Cork.
What plant is a letter of the alphabet?—The Tea (T).
What kind of bat flies without wings?—A brickbat.
Why is a dog biting his own tail like a good manager?
Because he makes both ends meet.
Why is a dog's tail like the pith of a tree?
Because it's the farthest from the bark.
Why does a dog's tail resemble happiness?
Because, run after it as he will, he cannot catch it.
If the Devil lost his tail, where should he go to find a new one?
To a gin palace, for bad spirits are retailed there.
What key is hardest to turn?—A donkey.
Why is a whirlpool like a donkey?
Because it is an eddy.
What is it that smells most when you go into a chemist's shop?
Your nose.
Why does a donkey prefer thistles to corn?
Because he's an ass.
Why is a lollypop like a horse?
Because the more you lick it, the faster it goes.
Why is a well-trained horse like a benevolent man?
Because it stops at the sound of woe.
I went to a wood and got it, I sat down to look for it, and brought it home because I could not find it—
A thorn in my foot.
Why is a naughty boy like a postage stamp?
Because he is licked and put in the corner to make him stick to his letters.
What is the difference between twice twenty-eight and twice eight and twenty.
Twenty; because twice twenty eight is fifty-six, and twice eight and twenty is thirty-six.
What grows less tired the more it works?
A carriage wheel.
What is that which increases the more you take from it?
A hole.
Why is a tight boot like an oak-tree?
Because it produces a-corn.
Who killed one-fourth of the people in the world?
Cain, when he killed Abel, there being then only four people in it.
Why is a retired milkman like the whale that swallowed Jonah?
Because he took the profit out of the water.
Where was Moses when the candle went out?
In the dark.
Why is your ear like a band of music?
Because it has a drum in it.
Why are book-keepers like chickens?
Because they have to scratch for a living.
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge?
Because it must be ground before it is used.
Why is a red herring like a mackintosh?
Because it keeps one dry all day.
Where are balls and routs supplied gratis?
On the field of battle.
Why is an omnibus like a medical student?
Because it is crammed and allowed to pass.
When has a person got as many heads as there are days in the year?
On the 31st of December.
What word is shorter for having a syllable added to it?
Short.
If I shoot at three birds on a tree, and kill one, how many will remain?
None; they will all fly away.
What should you keep after you have given it to another?
Your word.
Which would travel fastest—a man with one sack of flour on his back, or a man with two sacks?
The man with two sacks, as they would be lighter than one sack of flour.
Did you ever see a bun dance on a table?
I often see abundance on the table.
What does your ship weigh before she sets sail?
She weighs anchor.
What is an old woman like who is in the midst of a river?
Like to be drowned.
What is the difference between a school-master and an engine driver?
One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
Who was the first man who went round the world?
The man in the moon.

Important Notice
Wanted known to all of the name of Crooks, that Cole's Book Arcade contains 80,000 sorts of books.
Wanted known to all not of the name of Crooks, that Cole's Book Arcade contains 80,000 sorts of books.
Wanted known to all of the name of Blair that they can get almost any book they want there.
Wanted known to all not of the name of Blair that they can get almost any book they want there.
Wanted known to all of the name of Fitzgerald, Cole's was the first Book Arcade opened in the World.
Wanted known to all not of the name of Fitzgerald, Cole's is still the only Book Arcade in the World.
Wanted all intelligent persons of the name of Hall, to give Cole's Unique Book Arcade an early call.
Wanted all intelligent persons not of the name of Hall, to give Cole's Unique Book Arcade a very early call.

[Previous] - [Index] - [Next]