ACT III.
SCENE:—Drawing-room at Tempenny's house.
TIME:—Next day.
(SUSAN discovered dusting. As Curtain goes up bell is heard off.)
SUSAN.
Was that the bell again? It is not the sort of place I am used to, this—where the master's afraid to see half the people who calls for him. I only hopes my wages is right. They was precious particular about my references when they took me. Was I sober, honest and industrious, and the Lord knows what? Wish I'd been equal particular about theirs. The master ain't remarkably industrious, that I do know, for he often don't paint nothing for a week at a time; and he frequently ain't sober. Whether or not he is honest I shall find out at the end of my month. (Bell rings again.) It was the bell—I'd better go and see who it is.
(Exit L.)
HENRICH SCHERCL (heard off).
Mr. Tempenny in? Nonsense. Then I'll wait till he is.
SUSAN (expostulating).
But, sir, if you please, sir, really—
(Enter HENRICH SCHERCL followed by SUSAN.)
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I tell you I mean to see him. Now let us have the truth, girl, where is he?
SUSAN.
Mr. Tempenny, sir?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
"Mr. Tempenny, sir?" Yes, ma'am, who else? Now, is he at home?
SUSAN.
No, sir, he isn't; he has gone out.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Not to his studio, for I've just been there.
SUSAN.
No, sir, he has gone to his dentist.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Then I'll just sit down here till he comes back. You may go in and tell him so.
SUSAN (confused).
I hope you don't think I tell stories, sir? If Mr. Tempenny's out how can I take him your message?
(Enter REMBRANDT TEMPENNY R.)
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (briskly).
Now, you understand, Susan, I am out to everyone, and if a Mr. Schercl calls—(seeing HENRICH SCHERCL—aside). Good gracious! (Aloud.) Beg him to wait till I return—I want to see him.
HENRICH SCHERCL (sardonically).
He is waiting, sir.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (affecting surprise).
My dear friend, how glad I am—how very glad! (Aside.) This is the very devil! (Aloud.) All right, Susan, you can go.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I want a leedle talk with you, my friend, without delay.
SUSAN (aside).
I hope the master'll enjoy himself, I'm sure! I did my best for him anyhow!
(Exit L.)
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Mr. Tempenny, I am here to demand an exblanation, sir—an exblanation of your strange behaviour of yesterday. And there is something else, sir. I find you are not Mr. Tempenny at all, sir, you are an imposter.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (aside).
He did take me for Tempenny R.A., Addison was right! (Aloud.) An imposter, Mr. Schercl?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Zertainly, sir. I took you for the Mr. Tempenny—it was to the Mr. Tempenny, I brobosed to give my commission. You 'ave cheated me, you fellow.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Now, now, take care! How was I to know you took me for somebody else? You came to me, and you made me an offer, and I accepted it. How could I tell you thought I was another—I may say an inferior—Tempenny? I say how could I know you were making a mistake?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
You knew it very well. I would not pay tree 'undred pounds to you! What do you think I am—a fool? You 'ave obtained an order from me under false pretences, do you hear. I say you 'ave robbed me.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Gently! gently! this is slander, old gentleman. It will cost you a good deal more than three hundred pounds if you aren't more guarded in your remarks.
HENRICH SCHERCL (spluttering).
What?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
It will really. I shall owe it to myself to have you up for slander, and it would be a very good advertisement for me too.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
What! what! what!
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
A really excellent advertisement. And what a fool you'd look! Come, come, you don't suppose your other Tempenny would have done you a work of this size for three hundred, do you? Nor as good either? No, no! As to the affair of yesterday, my wife was very much to blame—I am very angry with her. You see she has such curious ideas, and when she found you hidden in a cupboard with a paint-pot upset over you she thought it strange. It wasn't strange, of course—(airily) most natural thing in the world, but she couldn't see it.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I felt very hurt to be so misunderstood. The only person who abbeared to have any zympathy for me was your model—the Miss Rosaline.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Nice girl! charming girl, isn't she? Full of feeling, and—I say, Schercl, you've made a conquest there, and no error.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Nonsense—go away mid your rubbidge!
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Well, you have, you know! She made an awful scene after you left—said you were the only man she ever saw look dignified with a pot of paint upset over him. It is a pity in one way she is so taken with you—I feel for her.
HENRICH SCHERCL (flattered).
Vat rot you talk. Why should you feel for her?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Because you meant nothing by your attentions, Schercl, and the poor girl doesn't know that. She is thinking about you—not to put too fine a point upon it, she has fallen in love with you; and what do you care?—you laugh!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
No, I do not laff—I have a 'eart, have I not? I have the emotions and sensibilities.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
You have, you have. But you do not realise how serious an impression you have made.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Well, now about Susannah. You can do it as well as your namesake. Yes?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Ah! (Enthusiastically.) Wait till you see it!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
It still progresses?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Superbly.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
"Zuperbly!" But I do not see it, and to me you never abbear to paint.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
My dear friend, how can you doubt the success of the picture after you have seen the model who is sitting for it? Fair—beautiful form—exquisite arms—er—
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Yes, yes, yes. So Miss Rosaline sits for your Susannah, eh?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Won't it be worth the three hundred—won't it be a dream.
HENRICH SCHERCL (eagerly).
I will come in one morning when you are at work! Yes, I am satisfied with the gontract—I say no more. I will come in when she is sitting.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNV.
No, you don't, my boy—oh no, you don't! The picture is what you get for your money—the real, living, breathing woman ain't included. Not much! Oh, no, Schercl, you old rogue—only the picture, sonny, no more. Ha, ha, ha!
HENRICH SCHERCL (confused).
You misunderstood me quite—I had no idea but of my business. I do not think of other things. Er—when will the picture be done, Tempenny, I would like it soon?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Ha, ha, ha! Control yourself, Romeo, it's coming on.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
But according to our contract, it should be done in a week's time. If you disappoint me, my friend, we shall fall out again.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (aside).
It strikes me you'll be precious lucky if you get it at all. The infernal "contract" is the bane of my life. (Aloud.) All right, Schercl, I will push on with it—I want the other two hundred, you know. I shan't delay for my own sake. (Enter CHARLES SYLVESTER L.) Hallo, Charlie, how d'ye do. How are things at home?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I see another of yesterday's gulprits. However I have forgiven you.
CHARLES SYLVESTER.
That's all right. (Aside to REMBRANDT TEMPENNY:) Rosaline's downstairs—wanting to see you. Where is your wife?
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Out. (To HENRICH SCHERCL.) That poor girl has followed you here. Perhaps out of pity you ought to go down to her and say a kind word.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Miss Rosaline—she is here? Well, I never! Yes, I will go down and speak to her. Where is she?
(Enter ROSALINE L.)
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (aside).
Damn it, in the drawing-room! Look here, Schercl, you can't go till she does. If my wife comes in and finds her, she is your affair. Don't leave her for Heaven's sake.
ROSALINE.
Good morning, gentlemen. Oh, Mr. Schercl! What a pleasure—how do you do?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I am very well, I thank you. And you?—I need not ask, you look most beautiful.
ROSALINE (aside).
Dear man!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
(Aside to CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Why is Tempenny so afraid his wife should see her? You too—why are you so afraid? Is she not of a good character, this Miss Rosaline?
CHARLES SYLVESTER.
(Aside to HENRICH SCHERCL.) The girl is a paragon. They are jealous of her, that's all. She is too good-looking for 'em.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Ha, ha, I see!
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
I think we'll leave you, old man. Rosaline, Mr. Schercl, has something to say to you—we shall be in the way. (Aside to CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Come on, old chap—I wouldn't risk being found in the room again with the girl for a monkey.
CHARLES SYLVESTER.
Yes, I have some business to discuss with Mr. Tempenny. If you will excuse us—
(Exit R.)
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
(Aside to HENRICH SCHERCL.) Take her away soon, there's a trump, or there will be another row. I give you five minutes to get her out of the house, Take her to breakfast—or—or—wherever you like, only hurry! (Exit L.)
ROSALINE.
How funny to be left alone like this, isn't it, I really called to know when Mr. Tempenny proposed to continue the sittings. Do you know?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
No, I have no idea. But I am very glad you called—our conversation yesterday was so inderrupted.
ROSALINE.
Yes, and we were getting on so nicely too, weren't we? Do you like my new hat? I bought it out of the tenner you gave me. What do you think of the bow—isn't it a duck?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
You do not sit to Mr. Tempenny in a hat, I think.
ROSALINE.
In a—? Oh no, not in—. The subject is classical.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Zo I understand (he sighs).
ROSALINE (sighing).
Ah!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Why do you sigh? You are not happy?
ROSALINE.
Did I sigh? I was thinking.
HENRICH SCHERCL (sighing).
Heigho!
ROSALINE.
But now it is you who sighs. Aren't you happy?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I alzo, I was thinking.
ROSALINE.
Of what?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
If I was to tell you, you would call me "sentimental old fool."
ROSALINE.
Not old. Never a fool. (With sudden persuasiveness.) Tell me!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I was thinking then, of you.
ROSALINE.
Of little me? What of me.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I was wishing I was this Mr. Tempenny.
ROSALINE.
Why? (Realising reason, and covering her face bashfully.) Oh!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I mean you go to him every day, and your zociety is very fascinating. That is all.
ROSALINE.
Of course, if you were Mr. Tempenny, you would see more of me. I should have said you would see me "oftener."
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Heigho!
ROSALINE.
Heigho!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
The little that I have seen has made a great impression on me, Rosie—I shall never forget your face.
ROSALINE.
Really?
HENRICH SCHERCL (eagerly).
Yes, yes, really—it is true.
ROSALINE.
I am only a model, you know—a poor girl.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
You are a model of perfection. I zympathise with you.
ROSALINE.
You do not think the less of me because?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I assure you I think of you the more. Nevertheless I do not like the idea.
ROSALINE.
And why?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
You must find it zo chilly in the winter.
ROSALINE.
I have got used to it. And besides I am fortunately of a warm temperament. The wind is tempered to the shorn lamb.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I have not ever in my life seen a young lady who did make me feel for her the strange attraction that I feel for you, Rosie. I am jealous of this Mr. Tempenny.
ROSALINE.
Jealous! Do you mean you are in love with me? (Aside.) Oh, my goodness, what a joke!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
And if I did, would you laugh at me? Supposing I was to say to you—"Rosie, I would like to marry you," what would you answer?
ROSALINE.
Say it, and see. (Aside.) He's in earnest. I do believe.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I am a very rich man. I could give you lots of such hats, and jewellery, and a big house.
ROSALINE (sentimentally).
I wish that you were poor.
HENRICH SCHERCL (in a fright).
No, no, for goodness sake, don't say that! Why?
ROSALINE.
You would not doubt my sincerity then. Now, you may think—
HENRICH SCHERCL.
No, no, I do believe you. Do you care for me a little, Rosie?
ROSALINE (archly).
Perhaps I do—a little. No, you are making game of me! (Turns up.)
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I am not—I am not! I love you desperately. Rosie, will you be my wife. Say "yes" my darling.
ROSALINE.
Yes. Now you may kiss me.
HENRICH SCHERCL (kissing her).
This is paradise. And Rosie—
ROSALINE.
Yes, Mr. Schercl.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Ah, no, you must say Heinrich.
ROSALINE.
Yes—Heinrich?
HENRICH SCHERCL.
You will not sit to Mr. Tempenny any more? It is not fit, now that you are to be Mrs. Schercl, that you should earn your living in such a way.
ROSALINE (doubtfully).
He will be very disappointed. He can't finish "Susannah" without me, and if he don't finish it, he won't get the two hundred pounds.
(Enter MRS. SYLVESTER and MRS. TEMPENNY. L. dressed for walking.)
MRS. TEMPENNY.
Sir!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Ah, my friend Tempenny's wife. And Mrs. Sylvester—how do you do?
MRS. SYLVESTER.
This creature again?
MRS. TEMPENNY.
By what right, sir, do you bring this person again—and into my private house.
ROSALINE.
Creature! Stand up for me, Heinrich.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I will, my treasure. (To MRS. TEMPENNY.) I must trouble you, my good madam, to speak in terms of more respect of a lady who will shortly be my wife.
| MRS. TEMPENNY | } |
| } (aside). | |
| MRS. SYLVESTER | } |
Schercl's wife! We must be very civil to her!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Let me introduce you: Mrs. Tempenny, Mrs. Sylvester—the future Mrs. Heinrich Schercl.
(The two women gush up to her and shake her hands.)
(Enter TEMPENNY and SYLVESTER. L.)
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
What's this I see, do I dream?
CHARLES SYLVESTER.
Are visions about?
MRS. TEMPENNY (aside to TEMPENNY).
Why on earth didn't you tell me? They are engaged—I might have offended him for life!
MRS. SYLVESTER (aside to SYLVESTER).
How stupid you were! They are going to be married. Why, you might never have got an order from him again!
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.
Dear, dear, dear, but my very good friend, if this lady is going to be your wife, how about "Susannah?"
HENRICH SCHERCL.
Forgive me, "Susannah" cannot be. I release you from the contract.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (aside).
Tidings of joy! (Aloud.) But—but—this is very hard on me.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I release you, and I pay you just the same.
REMBRANDT TFMPENNY.
But she has had the money for a dozen sittings.
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I pay.
(Enter SUSAN.)
SUSAN.
If you please, sir, there's a hofficer of the law downstairs and he wants Mr. Tempenny or forty pun', sixteen shillings and ninepence.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (waving his hand).
Schercl!
HENRICH SCHERCL.
I pay—and I gif you the balance by a jeque.
REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (with mock despair).
Pay—you pay? But the work of my life unfinished.—What money can compensate for that?
(Sinks forlornly into chair.)
Curtain.
THE END.
PRINTING OFFICE OF THE PUBLISHER.