| PAGE |
| Editor’s Note | [vii] |
| Author’s Preface | [xv] |
| How Mark Would Safeguard England | [25] |
| Mark Philosophized on Willie | [33] |
| Mark—Regicide | [34] |
| The Funniest Speech Mark Ever Heard | [36] |
| Monarchical Atavism | [42] |
| Democratic Mark and the Austrian Aristocracy | [43] |
| Phil Sheridan’s Friend | [45] |
| “Elizabeth Was a He,” Said Mark | [47] |
| Mark, the Sleight-of-hand Man | [55] |
| Mark and the Imperial Mistress | [57] |
| Mark on Lynch Law | [59] |
| Recollections of King Charles and Grant | [62] |
| Mark Missed Gallows-land | [64] |
| Think of Her Sorrows | [66] |
| Breaking the News Gently | [67] |
| Dukes and Unborn Car Horses | [69] |
| “Pa Used to Be a Terrible Man” | [70] |
| Mark on the Berlin Cops | [71] |
| The Sausage Room | [74] |
| Mark’s Glimpse of Schopenhauer | [77] |
| “Murderer” Blucher in Oxford | [86] |
| Mark’s Human Side | [88] |
| An Australian Surprise | [90] |
| Mark in France and Italy | [92] |
| Why Mark Wouldn’t Like to Die Abroad | [93] |
| The Left Hand Didn’t Know | [95] |
| American Humorists | [96] |
| Telepathy or Suggestion | [97] |
| Trying to Be Serious Didn’t Work | [99] |
| Assorted Beauties | [100] |
| Mark’s Children Knew Him | [101] |
| Mark, Dogs, Dagoes, and Cats | [102] |
| The Tragedy of Genius | [103] |
| Kilties and the Lassie | [105] |
| A Wise Provision of Providence | [107] |
| The Awful German Language | [108] |
| Artist or Photographer | [110] |
| Mark Interviewed the Barber about Harry Thaw | [112] |
| His Portrait—a Mirror | [115] |
| Mark, Bismarck, Lincoln, and Darwin | [116] |
| Mark at the Stock Exchange, Vienna | [120] |
| Mark and the Prussian Lieutenant | [121] |
| Mark Studies the Costermonger Language | [123] |
| That Beautiful Funeral | [125] |
| Ada’s Beast of a Man | [126] |
| Jealousy in Lowland | [127] |
| The Troubles of Liz | [128] |
| The French Madame | [130] |
| The Great Disappointment | [134] |
| Rheumatism and Prodding | [137] |
| On Literary Friendships | [138] |
| Bayard Taylor’s German | [139] |
| Genius in Extremis | [140] |
| What May Happen to You after You Are Dead | [143] |
| Kings in Their Birthday Suits | [146] |
| Mark on Lincoln’s Humanity | [147] |
| An English Lover of Kings and a Hater | [150] |
| Mark Got Arrested in Berlin | [154] |
| Books that Weren’t Written | [157] |
| Mark Enjoyed Other Humorists | [160] |
| Mark and the English Hack-writer | [162] |
| Mark Thought Joan of Arc Was Slandered | [164] |
| Running Amuck—Almost | [166] |
| Mark’s Idiomatic Gems | [167] |
| Mark and the Girls that Love a Lord | [168] |
| Mark’s Martyrdom | [173] |
| Slang Not in Mark’s Dictionary | [175] |
| Mark “No Gentleman” | [177] |
| Mark, Poetry, and Art | [178] |
| Mark Sheds Light on English History | [179] |
| Mark Explains Dean Swift | [183] |
| Mark in Tragedy and Comedy | [185] |
| “Ambition Is a Jade that More Than One Man Can Ride” | [190] |
| Mark as a Translator | [192] |
| Mark in England | [194] |
| Why Mark Was Uncomfortable in the King of
Sweden’s Presence | [196] |
| Mark’s Idea of High Art | [197] |
| Mark Meets King Leopold—Almost | [199] |
| Sizing Up of Aristocracy by Mark | [201] |
| The Bald-headed Woman | [204] |
| When a Publisher Dines and Wines You | [205] |
| Mark in Politics | [208] |
| Mark on “Royal Honors” | [209] |
| American Women the Prettiest | [212] |
| Where Tay Pay Isn’t Tay Pay | [213] |
| The Man Who Didn’t Get Used to Hanging | [214] |
| Stray Sayings of Mark | [218] |
| Eugene Field and His Troubles in Chicago | [223] |
| More of Eugene Field’s Trials in London | [227] |
| Gene, a “Success of Curiosity” | [230] |
| Dire Consequences of American Horseplay | [233] |
| Field’s Library of Humor | [240] |
| Those German Professors | [241] |
| Eugene Field and Northern Lore | [243] |
| Little Boy Blue | [246] |