’BOARD FOR THE ALLEGASH”

A hundred miles through the wilds of Maine

You soon may ride on a railroad train.

Some Yankee hustlers have planned the scheme

To take the place of the tote-road team.

They have the charter, the grit and cash

To stretch their tracks to the Allegash.

Along the length of the forest route

The woodland creatures will hear the hoot

Of the bullgine’s whistle, where up to now

The big bull moose has called his cow.

And old Katahdin’s long fin-back

Will echo loud with the clickity-clack

Of wheels that merrily clatter and clash

Through the sylvan wastes toward the Allegash.

Sing hey! for the route to Churchill Lake,

But oh, for the chap who twists the brake.

His buckskin gloves will save the wear

On his good stout palms, you know, but where

Will he find relief when his throat is lame

With the wrench of a yard-long Indian name?

’Tis something, friend, of a lingual trick

To say “Seboois” and “Wassataquoick,”

“Lunksoos,” is tame and “Nesourdneheunk,”

But what do you say to a verbal chunk

To chew at once of the size of this:

“Pok-um-kes-wango-mok-kessis”?

I don’t believe’twould phase a man

To bellow out “Lah-kah-hegan

His windpipe scarcely would get a crook

By spouting forth, “Pong-kwahemook,”

And even “Pata-quon-gamis”

Is easy. But just look at this:

Ah, where is he who wouldn’t run

From “Ap-mo-jenen-ma-ganun”?

E’en “Umbazookskus” scratches some,

But doesn’t this just strike you dumb?

“Nahma-juns-kwon-ahgamoc”?

Just think of having that to sock

Athwart the palpitating air

Straight at a frightened passengaire.

Hot bearings can be swabbed with oil,

And busted culverts yield to toil,

One can replace a broken rail

But larynxes are not on sale.

So, while it’s hey for Churchill Lake

It’s oh, for the chap who twists the brake.