| CHAP. | | PAGE |
| I. | In Which Harry Swiftly Passes from One Stage of His Career to Another | [1] |
| II. | Which Begins the Story of the Bishop’s Head | [11] |
| III. | Which Is the Story of the Pimpled Queen and the Black Spot | [33] |
| IV. | In Which Socrates Encounters “New Thought” and Psychological Hair | [45] |
| V. | In Which Socrates Discusses the Over-Production of Talk | [55] |
| VI. | In Which Betsey Commits an Indiscretion | [69] |
| VII. | In Which Socrates Attacks the Worst Doers and Best Sellers | [75] |
| VIII. | In Which Socrates Attacks the Helmet and the Battle-Ax | [84] |
| IX. | In Which Socrates Increases the Supply of Splendor | [91] |
| X. | In Which Socrates Breaks the Drag and Tandem Monopoly in Pointview | [99] |
| XI. | In Which Sundry People Make Great Discoveries | [106] |
| XII. | In Which Harry Is Forced to Abandon Swamp Fiction and Like Follies and to Study the Geography and Natives of a Land Unknown to Our Heiristocracy | [118] |
| XIII. | In Which the Minister Gets Into Love and Trouble | [127] |
| XIV. | In Which Socrates Discovers a New Folly | [139] |
| XV. | In Which Harry Returns to Pointview and Goes to Work | [148] |
| XVI. | Which Presents an Incident in Our Campaign Against New New England | [171] |
| XVII. | Which Presents a Decisive Incident in Our Campaign Against Old New England | [176] |