CHAPTER III.
RETURN TO SCOTLAND — SCHOOL IN EDINBURGH.
NO ship offering at this time from Antigua for Scotland, Mrs. Graham embarked with her family in one bound to Belfast, Ireland. Major Brown and his brother officers saw her safely out to sea; and he gave her a letter to a gentleman in Belfast, containing, as he said, a bill for the balance of the money she had deposited with him. After a stormy and trying voyage, she arrived in safety at her destined port. The correspondent in Ireland of Major Brown delivered her a letter from that officer expressive of esteem and affection, and stating that as a proof of respect for the memory of their deceased friend, he and his brother officers had taken the liberty of defraying the expenses of her voyage.
Consequently the bill he had given was for the full amount of her original deposit; and thus, like the brethren of Joseph, she found all her money in the sack's mouth. Being a stranger in Ireland, without a friend to look out for a proper vessel in which to embark for Scotland, she and her children went passengers in a packet; on board of which, as she afterwards learned, there was not even a compass. A storm arose and they were tossed to and fro for nine hours in imminent danger. The rudder and the mast were carried away; every thing on deck thrown overboard; and at length the vessel struck in the night upon a rock, on the coast of Ayr, in Scotland. The greatest confusion pervaded
the passengers and crew. Among a number of young students, going to the University at Edinburgh, some were swearing, some praying, and all were in despair. The widow only remained composed. With her babe in her arms she hushed her weeping family, and told them that in a few minutes they should all go to join their father in a better world. The passengers wrote their names in their pocket-books, that their bodies might be recognized and reported for the information of their friends. One young man came into the cabin, asking, "Is there any peace here?" He was surprised to find a female so tranquil; a short conversation soon evinced that religion was the source of comfort and hope to them both in this perilous hour. He engaged in prayer and then read the 107th Psalm. While repeating these words, "he maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still," the vessel swung off the rock by the rising of the tide. She had been dashing against it for an hour and a half, the sea making a breach over her, so that the hold was now nearly filled with water. Towards morning the storm subsided, and the vessel floated until she rested on a sand-bank. Assistance was afforded from the shore, and the shipwrecked company took shelter in a small inn, where the men seemed anxious to drown the remembrance of danger in a bowl of punch. How faithful a monitor is conscience! This voice is listened to in extreme peril; but O, infatuated man, how anxious art thou to stifle the warnings of wisdom in the hour of prosperity. Thousands of our race, no doubt, delay their preparation for eternity until, by sudden death, they have scarcely a moment left to perform this solemn work.
Mrs. Graham retired to a private room, to offer up thanksgiving to God for his goodness, and to commend herself and her orphans to his future care.
A gentleman from Ayr, hearing of the shipwreck, came down to offer assistance; and in him Mrs. Graham was happy to recognize an old friend. This gentleman paid her and her family much attention, carrying them to his own house, and treating them with kindness and hospitality.
In a day or two after this she reached Cartside, and entered her father's dwelling; not the large ancient mansion in which she had left him, but a thatched cottage, consisting of three apartments. Possessed of a too easy temper and unsuspecting disposition, Mr. Marshall had been induced to become security for some of his friends, whose failure in business had reduced him to poverty. He now acted as factor of a gentleman's estate in this neighborhood, of whose father he had been the intimate friend, with a salary of twenty pounds sterling per annum and the use of a small farm.
In a short time, however, his health failed, and he was deprived of this scanty pittance, being incapable, as the proprietor was pleased to think, of fulfilling the duties of factor.
Alive to every call of duty, Mrs. Graham now considered her father as added, with her children, to the number of dependents on her industry. She proved indeed a good daughter — faithful, affectionate, and dutiful, she supported her father through his declining years; and he died at her house, Feb. 13, 1783, aged 75, during her residence in Edinburgh, surrounded by his daughter and her children, who tenderly watched him during his last illness.
Having resided two years at Cartside, she removed to Paisley in 1778, where she taught a small school. The slender profits of such an establishment, with a widow's pension of sixteen pounds sterling, were the means of subsistence for herself and her family. When she first returned to Cartside a few religious friends called to welcome her home. The gay and wealthy part of her former acquaintances, who, like the butterfly, spread their silken wings only to bask in the warmth of a summer sun, found not their way to the lonely cottage of an afflicted widow. Her worth, though in after-life rendered splendid by its own fruits, was at this time hidden, excepting to those whose reflection and wisdom had taught them to discern it more in the faith and submission of the soul, than in the selfish and extravagant exhibitions of that wealth bestowed by the bounty of Providence, but expended too often for the purposes of vanity and dissipation.
In such circumstances, the Christian character of Mrs. Graham was strongly marked. Sensible that her heavenly Father saw it good, at this time, to depress her outward condition, full of filial tenderness, and like a real child of God resigned to whatever should appear to be his will, her conduct conformed to his dispensations. With a cheerful heart, and in the hope of faith, she set herself to walk down into the valley of humiliation, "leaning upon Jesus," as the beloved of her soul. "I delight to do thy will, O my God, yea, thy law is within my heart," was the spontaneous effusion of her genuine faith. She received with affection the scriptural admonition, "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due
time; casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you."
She laid aside her children's fine frocks, and clothed them in homespun. At Cartside she sold the butter she made, and her children were fed on the milk. It was her wish to eat her own bread, however coarse, and to owe no person anything but love. At Paisley, for a season, her breakfast and supper was porridge, and her dinner potatoes and salt. Peace with God and a contented mind supplied the lack of earthly prosperity, and she adverted to this her humble fare, to comfort the hearts of suffering sisters, with whom she corresponded at a later period of life, when in comfortable circumstances.
Meantime the Lord was not unmindful of his believing child; but was preparing the minds of her friends for introducing her to a more enlarged sphere of usefulness.
Her pious and attached friend, Mrs. Major Brown, had accompanied her husband to Scotland, and they now resided on their estate in Ayrshire. Mr. Peter Reid, a kind friend when in Antigua, was now a merchant in London. This gentleman advised her to invest the little money she had brought home — and which she had still preserved — in muslins; which she could work into finer articles of dress, and he would ship them in a vessel of his own/freight free, to be sold in the West Indies. His object was partly to increase her little capital, and partly to divert her mind from meditating so deeply on the loss of her lamented husband. The plan so kindly proposed was soon adopted; the muslin dresses were shipped; but she soon afterwards learned that the ship was captured by the
French. This was a severe loss, and more deeply felt as it was received at the time when her father was deprived of his office.
Mrs. Brown, after consulting with the Rev. Mr. Randall of Glasgow, the Rev. Mr. Ellis of Paisley, Lady Glenorchy and Mrs. Walker of Edinburgh, proposed to Mrs. Graham to take charge of a boarding-school in that metropolis.
The friends of religion were of opinion that such an establishment, under the direction of one possessing the qualifications of Mrs. Graham, would be of singular benefit to young ladies destined for important stations in society. Her liberal education, her acquaintance with life, and her humble yet ardent piety, were considered peculiarly calculated to qualify her for so important a trust.
Another friend had suggested to Mrs. Graham the propriety of opening a boarding-house in Edinburgh, which he thought could, through his influence, be easily filled by students.
She saw obstacles to both: a boarding-house did not appear suitable, as her daughters would not be so likely to have the same advantages of education as from a boarding-school; and to engage as an instructress of youth on so large a scale, with so many competitors, appeared for her an arduous undertaking.
In this perplexity, as in former trials, she fled to her unerring counsellor the Lord, her covenant God. She set apart a day for fasting and prayer. She spread her case before the Lord, earnestly beseeching him to make his word "a light to her feet and a lamp to her path," and "to lead her in the way in which she should
go;" especially that she might be directed to choose the path in which she could best promote his glory and the highest interests of herself and her children. On searching the Scriptures, her mind fastened on these words in John 21:15, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs."
Never, perhaps, was this commandment applied with more filial confidence, or accompanied with a richer blessing, since the days of the apostle, than in the present instance.
Her determination was accordingly made. She resolved to undertake the education of youth, trusting that her Lord would make her an humble instrument of training some for his service on earth, and his praises in heaven. Here was exhibited an instance of simple yet powerful faith in a believer surrounded by temporal perplexities, and of condescension and mercy on the part of a compassionate God. Light unseen by mortal eyes descended on her path.
How weak, perhaps enthusiastic, would this have appeared to the busy crowd, blind to the special providence exercised by the God of heaven towards all his creatures. She felt the pressure of her affliction; but, like the Psalmist, gave herself unto prayer:
"Prayer ardent opens heaven, lets down a stream
Of glory on the consecrated hour
Of man in audience with the Deity."
Though her faith was strong, yet her mind was under such agitation, from her total want of funds to carry her plan into effect, and from other conflicting exercises, as to throw her into a nervous fever, which
kept her confined to her bed for some weeks. On her recovery, she felt it her duty to go forward, trusting that He, who had directed her path, would provide the means that were necessary to enable her to walk in it: she sold her heavy furniture, packed up all her remaining effects, and prepared to set out from Paisley for Edinburgh on a Monday, in the year 1779.
On the Saturday previous she sat by her fire musing and wondering in what manner the Lord would appear for her at this time, when a letter was brought to her from Mr. Peter Reid, enclosing a sum of money which he had recovered from the underwriters, on account of Mrs. Graham's muslins captured on their passage to the West Indies. Mrs. Graham had considered them as totally lost, but her friend had taken the precaution to have them insured.
With this supply she was enabled to accomplish her object, and arrived in Edinburgh with her family. Her friend Mrs. Brown met her there, and stayed with her a few days, to comfort and patronize her in her new undertaking. Mrs. Brown was her warm and constant friend until her death, which occurred at Paisley in 1782, when she was attending the communion. She bequeathed her daughter Mary to Mrs. Graham's care. But in 1785 the daughter followed the mother, being cut off by a fever in the twelfth year of her age.
It may be proper here to introduce the name of Mr. George Anderson, a merchant in Glasgow, who had been an early and particular friend of Dr. Graham. He kindly offered his friendly services, and the use of his purse, to promote the welfare of the bereaved family of his friend. Mrs. Graham occasionally
drew upon both. The money she borrowed she had the satisfaction of repaying with interest. A correspondence was carried on between them after Mrs. Graham's removal to America, until the death of Mr. Anderson, in 1802.
During her residence in Edinburgh she was honored with the friendship and counsel of many persons of distinction and piety. The Viscountess Glenorchy, Lady Boss Baillie, Lady Jane Belches, Mrs. Walter Scott, mother of the poet, Mrs. Dr. Davidson, and Mrs. Baillie Walker, were among her warm personal friends. The Rev. Dr. Erskine, and Dr. Davidson, formerly the Rev. Mr. Randall of Glasgow, and many respectable clergymen, were also her friends. She and her family attended on the ministry of Dr. Davidson, an able, evangelical, useful pastor.
Her school soon became respectable in numbers and character. Her early and superior education now proved of essential service to her. She was indefatigable in her attention to the instruction of her pupils. While she was faithful in giving them those accomplishments which were to qualify them for acting a distinguished part in this world, she was also zealous in directing their attention to that gospel by which they were instructed to obtain an inheritance in that to come. She felt a high responsibility, and took a deep interest in their temporal and spiritual welfare. As "a mother in Israel," she wished to train them up in the ways of the Lord.
She prayed with them morning and evening; and on the Sabbath, which she was careful to devote to its proper use, she took great pains to imbue their minds with the truths of religion. Nor did she labor in
vain. Although she was often heard to lament of how little use she had been compared with her opportunities of doing good, yet when her children, Mr. and Mrs. B. visited Scotland in 1801, they heard of many individuals, then pious and exemplary, who dated their first religious impressions from those seasons of early instruction which they enjoyed under Mrs. Graham while in Edinburgh.
Mrs. Graham's manner in the management of youth was peculiarly happy. While she kept them diligent in their studies, and strictly obedient to the laws she had established, she was endeared to them by her tenderness; and the young ladies instructed in her school retained for her in after-life a degree of filial affection which was expressed on many affecting occasions. This was afterwards remarkably the case with her pupils in America. Her little republic was completely governed by a system of equitable laws. On every alleged offence, a court-martial, as they termed it, was held, and the accused tried by her peers. There were no arbitrary punishments, no sallies of capricious passion. The laws were promulgated, and obedience was indispensable; the sentences of the courts-martial were always approved, and had a salutary effect. In short, there was a combination of authority, decision, and tenderness in Mrs. Graham's government, that rendered its subjects industrious, intelligent, circumspect, and happy. She enjoyed their happiness; and in cases of sickness, she watched over them with unremitting solicitude and care, sparing no expense to promote their restoration to health.
A strong trait in her character was distinctly
marked by her educating the daughters of pious ministers at half price. This was setting an example worthy of imitation. It was a conduct conformable to scriptural precept. Said Paul, "If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things? Do ye not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things of the temple? Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live by the gospel."
Always conscientious in obeying the commandments of her God, she observed them in this matter, giving, in her proportion, at least the widow's mite.
By another plan, for she was ingenious in contrivances to do good, she greatly assisted those in slender circumstances, especially such as were of the household of faith. Believing that the use of sums of ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds in hand would be serviceable by way of capital to persons in a moderate business, she was in the habit of making such advances, and taking back the value in articles they had for sale. She charged no interest, being amply repaid in the luxury of her own feelings, when she beheld the benefit it produced to her humble friends. The board of her pupils being paid in advance, she was enabled to adopt this plan with more facility. Were her spirit more prevalent in the world, what good might be done. The heart would be expanded, reciprocal confidence and affection cherished; and instead of beholding worms of the dust fighting for particles of yellow sand, we should behold a company of affectionate brethren leaning upon and assisting each other through the wilderness of this world. "Look not
every man on his own things," said Paul, "but every man also on the things of others. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."
On the subject of promoting the external accomplishments of her scholars, it became a question how far Mrs. Graham was to countenance them in their attendance on public balls — to what length it was proper for her to go so as to meet the received opinions of the world in these concerns. She consulted with her pious friends, and wrote to Lady Glenorchy on the subject. Her ladyship's letter in reply is so excellent that the serious reader will be gratified with its insertion.
"BARNTON, December 27, 1781.
"DEAR MADAM — I received your letter last week, and also one some time ago from Mrs. Walker, in which she desired me to send you my sentiments upon the alteration you had made, and still thought of making, upon your plan.
"I have since endeavored to consider, with all the attention of which I am at present capable, the arguments that may be brought on both sides of the question; and with regard to the first point, the practisings, I will frankly own, that could you send your young ladies to one where girls only are admitted, I should more readily yield my opinion of the matter to those Christians who have advised you to it. But as I learn that it is a promiscuous dance of boys and girls, I must in conscience say that I look upon such a meeting to be as pernicious in its effects upon the minds of young people, as balls and public assemblies on persons of riper years. When you mentioned the subject to me first, I thought it had been a practising
of girls only, else I should then have given you my sentiments fully upon that head.
"As to the reading of plays, or any part of them, to your young people, I must own, it does not appear to me to be expedient; it may be productive of bad consequences, and the good arising from it is, at most, uncertain. It is, no doubt, very desirable to enlarge young people's minds and improve their taste as well as their persons; but such is the state of things in this world, that to attain this to the degree wished for by every person of refined taste, some things must be sacrificed of much greater value: for example, a girl cannot acquire the smart, polished air of a person of fashion, without imbibing too much of the spirit of the world. Vanity and emulation must be awakened and cultivated in the heart, before she will apply herself with diligence to outward accomplishments; nor can her mind and taste be much improved in polite literature, without losing its relish for simple truth. I grant you, there are a few Christians in the world who have acquired the outward accomplishments of it, and have, by grace, been enabled to turn these to good account — who, like the Israelites, having spoiled the Egyptians, have made use of their jewels in adorning the tabernacle; but this can never serve as an argument on your side of the question. If the Lord sees fit to manifest his power and grace by plucking a brand from the burning, this is no reason why children should be initiated into the ways of sin and folly, in hopes that some time or other he will bring them out. We are never to do evil that good may come; and this brings the question to a short issue.
"Do you think it lawful for Christians to attend public places, or to spend their time in reading plays? Do you think these things tend, either immediately or remotely, to promote the glory of God? If you do not, I cannot see how you, as a Christian, can have any hand in introducing young ladies to the one or in giving them a taste for the other.
"This, dear madam, is my view of the matter; but I do not wish you to walk by my light. I believe all the children of God are taught by him, and ought to follow the dictates of their own consciences: I therefore pretend not to advise you, but shall endeavor to pray that the great unerring Counsellor may give you divine wisdom to be your teacher, to lead you into all truth, and to keep you from every thing inconsistent with his holy will.
"I have met with so many interruptions since I began this letter, that I fear that it is hardly intelligible. I shall be sorry if I have said any thing that gives you uneasiness; your spirits seem low, and your business does not succeed so well as could be wished: perhaps I ought to have employed my pen in the way of consolation and encouragement, than by throwing in fresh matter of perplexity. Sure I am, I do not mean to add affliction to the afflicted; but rather have been impelled, from a regard to truth, to write my real sentiments, as you desired.
"Your friend and humble servant,
"W. GLENORCHY."
In after-life, Mrs. Graham was of opinion that she and her scholars had gone too far in conformity with the opinions and manners of the world. A reference to this deviation from what she considered a close
Christian walk in life, will be frequently found in her subsequent exercises.
Lady Glenorchy being in a delicate state of health, made frequent use of Mrs. Graham as her almoner to the poor. On one of these visits, Mrs. Graham called on a poor woman with a present of a new gown. "I am obliged to you and her ladyship for your kindness," said the poor woman rich in faith, "but I maun gang to the right airth first; ye wad na hae come, gin ye had na been sent; the Lord hath left me lately wi' but ae goon for week-day and Sabbath, but now he has sent you wi' a Sabbath-day's goon." Meaning, in plain English, that her thankfulness was first due to the God of providence, who had put it into the hearts of his children to supply the wants of this poor disciple.
Mrs. Graham used to repeat with pleasure an anecdote of her friends Mr. and Mrs. Douglas. Mr. Douglas was a tallow-chandler, and furnished candles for Lady Glenorchy's chapel. The excise-tax was very high on making those articles, and many persons of the trade were accustomed to defraud the revenue by one stratagem or another. Religious principle would not permit Mr. Douglas to do so. Mrs. Graham one evening was remarking how handsomely the chapel was lighted. "Aye, Mrs. Graham," said Mrs. Douglas, "and it is all pure — the light is all pure, it burns bright." It would be well if Christians of every trade and profession were to act in like manner; that the merchant should have no hand in unlawfully secreting property, or encouraging perjury to accumulate gains; that the man of great wealth should have neither usury nor the shedding of blood by privateering to corrode
his treasures; that all should observe a just weight and a just measure in their dealings, as in the presence of God. Let every Christian seek after the consolation of Mrs. Douglas, that the light which refreshes him may be pure.
It being stated as matter of regret, that poor people when sick suffered greatly, although while in health their daily labor supported them, Mrs. Graham suggested the idea of every poor person in the neighborhood laying aside one penny a week to form a fund for relieving the contributors when in sickness. Mr. Douglas undertook the formation of such an institution. It went for a long time under the name of "The Penny Society." It afterwards received a more liberal patronage, has now a handsome capital, and is called, "The Society for the Relief of the Destitute Sick."
In July, 1786, Mrs. Graham attended the dying bed of her friend and patroness Lady Glenorchy: this lady had shown her friendship in a variety of ways during her valuable life; she had one of Mrs. Graham's daughters for some time in her family, condescended herself to instruct her, and sent her for a year to a French boarding-school in Rotterdam. She defrayed all her expenses while there, and furnished her with a liberal supply of pocket-money, that she might not see distress without the power of relieving it. So much does a person's conduct in maturer years depend upon the habits of early life, that it is wise to accustom young people to feel for and to contribute in their degree to the relief of the afflicted and the needy.
Lady Glenorchy was a character in whom was eminently displayed the power of religion. Descended
from an ancient family, married to the eldest son of the Earl of Broadalbaine, beautiful and accomplished, she was received into the first circles of society. With her husband she made the tour of Europe, visiting the several courts on that continent. Yet all these things she "counted but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord." She became a widow while yet in the bloom of youth. She devoted herself to the service of the Lord, and was made singularly useful. She kept a regular account of her income, and of the different objects to which it was applied. She built and supported several chapels in England, and erected one in Edinburgh, in which pious ministers of different denominations should be admitted to preach.
She also built a manufactory for the employment of the poor, where the education of children was strictly attended to: even the porters' lodges on each side of her gate were occupied as schools for the neighboring poor. Her pleasure-grounds were thrown open for the accommodation of the numbers who usually come from a distance to attend a communion-season in Scotland. In a year of scarcity the same grounds were planted with potatoes for the supply of the poor. She distributed with great judgment various sums of money in aid of families who were poor, yet deserving. She never encouraged idleness or pride, and often remarked that it was better to assist people to do well in the sphere which Providence had assigned them, than to attempt to raise them beyond it. There was so much wisdom in the active application of her charities, as to render them both efficient and extensive. She seldom was seen in these works of beneficence; her object
was to do good: the gratitude of those on whom she bestowed benefits was no part of her motive, or even of her calculation. What she did she did unto God, and in obedience to his commands; her faith and hope were in God.
She contributed largely to the public institutions established at Edinburgh in her day. Of one or two of the most useful she was the first to suggest the idea, always accompanying her recommendation with a handsome donation to encourage the work.
The venerable Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge and Piety shared largely her patronage; and at her death she bequeathed them five thousand pounds.
She indulged the hope of seeing a union of exertion, among all Christian denominations, for sending the gospel to the heathen. How delighted would she have been with the missionary societies of London and elsewhere, had her life been spared to behold their extensive operations.
She sold her estate of Barnton that she might apply the money to a more disinterested object than her personal accommodation, and that her fortune might be expended with her life, "I recollect here," said Saurin in one of his sermons, "an epitaph said to be engraven on the tomb of Atolus of Rheims: He exported his fortune before him into heaven by his charities — he Has gone thither to enjoy it."
This might be truly said of Lady Glenorchy. In her manner she discovered great dignity of character tempered with the meekness and benevolence of the gospel. Her family was arranged with much economy, and a strict regard to moral and religious habits. She
usually supported some promising and pious young minister as her chaplain, which served him as an introduction to respectability in the church. With very few exceptions, all those who entered her family as servants were in process of time brought under religious impressions. So far it pleased the Lord to honor her pious endeavors to render her family one of the dwellings of the God of Jacob.
Mrs. Graham had the honor of attending the death-bed, and of closing the eyes of this distinguished child of God. It had been Lady Glenorchy's express desire that Mrs. Graham should be sent for, if within twenty miles of her, when such attendance should be necessary.
The following letter to a daughter, two months later, gives us another illustration of the self-denial and anxiety for the salvation of the soul, with which Mrs. Graham personally ministered to the needy and the suffering, and how skilfully she improved these scenes for the benefit of others.
"EDINBURGH, September, 1786.
"MY DEAR DAUGHTER — Such a scene as I have been witness to! — poor M. B—— is gone to her last abode; her state is fixed for ever. I attended her sick-bed for eight successive days and nights, except perhaps for an hour that I lay down in the same room. I held by life to the very last, because I feared she was not in a fit state to die.
"She took every medicine that was prescribed for her, which I administered with my own hand; but the time appointed to end her mortal state had arrived, and go she must. She lived four days after the physicians had lost all hope, and I think I never witnessed
greater distress. I watched every word with anxious care to find if any breath of prayer was to be heard; but alas, I had no such satisfaction. As she was insensible after the first few days, it was not to be expected she could either think or pray.
"O, why will sinners resist the grace of God, and spend the precious time given to seek and find it in thoughtless folly? What can they do, on such a bed of distress, who have no God? Time misspent and gone — opportunities unimproved and gone — calls resisted never to be repeated — death hunting the soul through every avenue of life — a dreadful, unknown, unthought of eternity at hand — an awful Judge, and no Advocate secured to plead. A time was when a kind Saviour was expostulating with them: 'Why will you die?' 'Hear, and your soul shall live;' 'Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you;' 'Look unto me and be ye saved, all ye ends of the earth;' 'Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon;' 'Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters' — blessings purchased by Christ: pardon of sin, reconciliation with God, a new heart and spirit, all that is necessary for time and eternity — 'He that hath no money,' no merit, no good about him, no claim upon any account whatever, 'come, buy and eat, without money and without price;' 'Why spend ye your money,' time, talents, affections, desires, 'for that which is not bread,' and cannot satisfy? 'incline your ear, and come unto me; hear, and your soul shall live, and I will make an everlasting covenant
with you. Now is the accepted time; now is the day of salvation. To-day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your heart.'
"Such is the language of the dear Redeemer to sinners every day, in his written word, from the pulpit, and in the dispensations of his providence; but O, the madness of sinners, who will not think, who will not attend, will not apply to this Saviour, whose sole errand into this world was to seek and to save sinners, yea, the very chief; but they will not put their souls into his hands, nor give him any service. A time will come, and we are forewarned of it, when this same inviting Saviour will say, 'Because I have called and ye refused, stretched out my hand and no man regarded, I also will laugh at your calamity, and will mock when your fear cometh.'
"Improve this dispensation, my dear child; beg of the Lord to search you and try you, and see that your hopes be well grounded.
"Your affectionate mother,
"I. GRAHAM."
The following to her beloved friend Mrs. Walker, shows the impressions made on the mind of Mrs. Graham by visiting the place of her nativity and the scene of her struggles with this world's adversity, when the hand of God was heavy upon her.
"EDINBURGH, September, 1787.
"MY DEAR MADAM — I have been on a jaunt for nearly three weeks; my school mostly dismissed, the remainder I left with Miss S——. Goodness and mercy have followed me, and the Lord has taken care of my house also in my absence. Yours was put into
my hand on my return, and brought fresh cause of thankfulness; your observation, that we were mutually feeding on the same allowance, continues to hold. I too have been considering the works and doings of the Lord, and many of them have been renewed in my memory by the scenes I have passed through.
"I visited the seat of my juvenile years with my dear and only brother. There I recollected the days of my vanity, and the Lord's patience and long-suffering; my repenting, my returning, his pardoning, his blessing; my backslidings, his stripes and chastisements, his restoring and recovering, yea, many and many times. There, too, I found my old acquaintances no more; most of them had finished their course under the sun; some I could still clasp in the arms of faith, as united to the glorious Head, and now singing the song of Moses and the Lamb. From the idea of others, I was obliged to turn away and say, 'The Judge of all the earth shall do right.'
"I recollected a lowly cottage, where lived a pious father, mother, two daughters, and a son; where the voice of prayer seldom ceased, the voice of complaint was seldom heard: not one stone remained upon another; only the bushes which surrounded it, and the ruins of a little garden, the seat of secret communion of each with their God in turn; for one little earth-floored place was all their house-convenience, and in the winter's storm their little cow-house, built under the same humble roof, was their secret temple. I found three had gone to glory: of the other two I could learn no tidings; but I shall see them one day in very different mansions. I saw others spreading like a green bay-tree, adding field to field,
and dwelling alone, servants and dependents excepted.
"I saw my father's cottage, in the day when the Lord pressed him down, and the place where my dear glorified-mother poured out many prayers for me and mine; my own retirement too, after the vanity I had seen of human life, and when tired and sick of it, I sought to end my days in solitude, saying, 'It is enough; here let thy servant depart in peace, and let my children be reared in obscurity.' Then I returned to the town where my husband had practised as a physician, where I had been respected and tasted largely of life's comfort. I saw the house we had lived in, and many tender scenes passed; to this same town I had returned a widow, helpless and poor, neglected and forgotten. I saw the house where I had taught my little school, and earned my porridge, potatoes, and salt; when I found myself totally neglected by some who once thought themselves honored by my acquaintance; while others, once shining in affluence, were now reduced to humble dwellings.
"The Lord has been saying, 'Know and consider all the way by which I have led thee, to prove thee, and try thee, to show thee what was in thy heart, that he might do thee good in thy latter end.' He is now saying, 'Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;' 'Occupy till I come.' Oh, for a thankful heart, a loving, a zealous heart, a meek and humble heart. Oh, for diligence and steadiness in the path of duty, a due sense of our own weakness and inability, of the Lord's power and all-sufficiency, and firm faith in the same. Give my love to ——, she is
the Lord's: her heavenly Father mingles her cup; not one unnecessary bitter drop shall be put into it; bid her trust in the Lord; the time, the set time for deliverance shall come. I can witness, with many thousands on earth, and an innumerable company in heaven, that he is the best of masters. I have suffered much, yet not one word of all that he has said has failed. I expect to suffer more; but whatever bitter draughts may yet await me, I would not give one drop of my heavenly Father's mixing for oceans of what the world styles felicity.
"I. GRAHAM."
Under another date she adds:
"When we trace the tenderness of our Daysman's conduct through the whole of his tabernacling here below, and add to this the many gracious words which he spoke, and to these again what were spoken by the disciples by his authority, can we refuse to cast all our burdens on him, and to trust him with ourselves and them? You know how sweet it is, in the time of tumultuous distress, when the spirit is overwhelmed, when God's mercy seems clean gone for ever, and his promise to fail, how sweet to get even a lean upon the Saviour; but when he, as he does at times, takes the soul out of itself, and away from forebodings, reasonings, and suppositions, to his own divine attributes, and gives it a believing view of its interest in them all, in his wisdom as unerring, his power as almighty, his goodness as boundless, his faithfulness unchanging; when we add to these his humanity, and consider that our High-priest was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin, and that he has a feeling for our infirmities; when we find him listening to every
petition — a widowed mother for her son — the centurion for his servant — weeping with two sisters over a brother's grave — embracing and blessing the little children whom mothers, like you and me, pressed through the crowd, in spite of the reprehensions of disciples, to present to him — accepting the effusions of Magdalene's penitent heart with tender consolation, O how near does this bring the Divinity to us, and how sweetly may we confide in such tenderness. Oh my friend, He rests in his love. Let us rest in our confidence. All shall be well."
When Dr. Witherspoon visited Scotland in the year 1785, he had frequent conversations with Mrs. Graham on the subject of her removal to America. She gave him at this time some reason to calculate on her going thither as soon as her children should have completed the course of education she had proposed for them. She had entertained a strong partiality for America ever since her former residence there, and had indulged a secret expectation of returning. It was her opinion, and that of many pious people, that America was the country where the church of Christ would preeminently flourish. She was therefore desirous to leave her offspring there.
After some correspondence with Dr. Witherspoon, and consultation with pious friends, her plan received the approbation of the latter; and having had an invitation from many respectable characters in the city of New York, with assurances of patronage and support, she arranged her affairs for quitting Edinburgh. The Algerines being then at war with the United States, her friends insisted on her chartering a small
British vessel to carry herself and family to the port of New York. This increased her expenses; but Providence, in faithfulness and mercy, sent her at this time a remittance from Dr. Henderson, the young friend of Dr. Graham, who succeeded him as surgeon of the regiment; and a legacy of two hundred pounds bequeathed her by Lady Glenorchy, as a mark of her regard, was now of great use to her.
Thus in the month of July, 1789, Mrs. Graham once more prepared to go into a land which the Lord seemed to tell her of.
The two following extracts from her private journal, indicate the state of her mind and heart previous to leaving Edinburgh.
"EDINBURGH, March, 1789.
"Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me,' Jer. 49:11; the Lord's promise, which he made to me in the days of my widowhood, and which I have made the subject of my prayers from day to day, taking the words in a spiritual sense. The Lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day I was left a widow with three orphans, and the fourth not born, in a strange land, without money, at a distance from friends; or rather, without friends. Hitherto he has supplied all my wants, and laid to hand every necessary and many comforts; supporting character and credit, making a way for me through the wilderness, pointing out my path, and settling the bounds of my habitation.
"For all these blessings I desire to be grateful to the God of providence, whose is the earth and the fulness thereof; but these I cannot take as the substance of the promise; neither have they been the chief
matter of my prayers. The salvation and the life I have wrestled for, is that which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow — even spiritual life, and salvation from sin. My God knows I have held fast this view of the words, seeking first the kingdom of God for my children, leaving temporals to be given or withheld, as may best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls. I have not asked for them health, beauty, riches, honor, or temporal life: God knows what share of these consists with their better interests; let him give or withhold accordingly. One thing I have asked of the Lord, one thing only, and will persist in asking, trust in him for, and for which I think I have his promise — even the life of their and my soul. 1 Thess. 5:23, is my petition for me and mine; verse 24, my anchor of hope, preceded by Jeremiah 49:11."
"EDINBURGH, March 17, 1789.
"This day from the head of his own table did the Lord, by his servant Mr. R——, proclaim his name the I AM, and called on me to write under what I would, for time and eternity. My soul rejoices that God is, and that he is what he is; nothing less than himself can content me, nothing more do I desire.
"This great I AM is my portion — what can I ask beside? He hath opened my eyes to see his excellency; he hath determined my will, to choose him for my portion. He hath arranged and set in order a rich testament sealed by the blood of his own Son, containing every blessing for time and for eternity. All my heart's desire is there promised, and faith given to believe there shall be a full performance. What have I to say then, but, Amen, do as thou hast said? Father, glorify thy name. Thou hast said, 'Then will I sprinkle
clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean; from all your filthiness and from all your idols will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh; and I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments and do them. And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers: and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.' Amen; Lord, do as thou hast said. Behold, I take hold of thy covenant for myself and for my children. It is well ordered in all things, and it is sure. My heart accords to every part of it. Wilt thou guide us by thy counsel while we live, and afterwards receive us to thy glory? Amen and amen — do as thou hast said.
"If we forsake thy laws, and go astray; if we depart from thee and break thy commandments, wilt thou visit our faults with rods, and our sins with chastisements. Blessed promise; amen, Lord, do as thou hast said: seeing thy loving-kindness is secured to us, and thou wilt not cast us off from being thy people, nor alter that which thou hast spoken; wilt thou keep us as the apple of thine eye? wilt thou cover us with the shadow of thy wing? Art thou my Husband? art thou the Father of my fatherless children? wilt thou be the stay of these orphans, and their and my shield in a strange land? wilt thou perfect what concerns us? wilt thou care for us? wilt thou never leave us, never forsake us? in the valley of the shadow of death shall thy rod and staff support us? What can thy servant say but, Amen, do as thou hast said."