The Power of Faith / Exemplified In The Life And Writings Of The Late Mrs. Isabella Graham.

by Isabella Graham

CHAPTER IV.

SCHOOL IN NEW YORK — DEATH OF HER PASTOR DR. JOHN MASON — LAST NEWS OF HER SON.

MRS. GRAHAM, after a pleasant though tedious voyage, landed in New York on the 8th day of September, 1789, where she and her family were received with the greatest cordiality and confidence. The late Rev. Dr. Rodgers and Rev. Dr. John Mason were especially kind to her. She came eminently prepared to instruct her pupils in all the higher branches of female education; and the favorable change effected by her exertions was soon visible in the minds, manners, and accomplishments of the young ladies committed to her care. She opened her school on the 5th of October, 1789, with five scholars, and before the end of the same month the number increased to fifty. She not only imparted knowledge to her pupils, but also, by her conversation and example, prepared their minds to receive it in such a manner as to apply it to practical advantage. While she taught them to regard external accomplishments as ornaments to the female character, she was careful to recommend the practice of virtue as the highest accomplishment of all, and to inculcate the principles of religion as the only solid foundation for morality and virtue. The annual examinations of her scholars were always well attended, and gave great satisfaction. General Washington while at New York honored her with his patronage. The venerable and amiable Bishop of the Episcopal church in the state of New York, then the Rev. Dr. Benjamin Moore,

was never once absent from those examinations. She was sensible of his friendship, and always spoke of him in terms of great esteem and respect.

She united in communion with the church under the pastoral care of the Kev. Dr. Mason. This excellent man was her faithful friend and wise counsellor. Under his ministry her two daughters, Joanna and Isabella, joined the church in the year 1791. Her eldest daughter Jessie, who had made a profession of religion in Scotland, was married in July, 1790, to Mr. Hay Stevenson, merchant of New York, and she became a member of the church under the care of Dr. Rodgers, where her husband attended.

In the year 1791 her son, who had been left in Scotland to complete his education, paid his mother a visit. Mrs. Graham, considering herself as inadequate to the proper management of a son, had at an early period of his life sent him to the care of a friend, who had promised to pay due attention to his morals and education. The boy had a warm affectionate heart, but possessed, at the same time, a bold and fearless spirit. Such a disposition, under proper management, might have been formed into a noble character; but he was neglected, and left in a great measure to himself by his first preceptor.

For two years of his life he was under the care of Mr. Murray, teacher of an academy at Abercorn. He was a man truly qualified for his station. He instructed his pupils with zeal; led even their amusements; and to an exemplary piety added the faithful counsel of a friend. He loved, and was therefore beloved. Under his superintendence John Graham improved rapidly, and gained the affections of his teacher and

companions. Happy for him had he continued in such a suitable situation. He was removed to Edinburgh to receive a more classical education. Being left there by his mother and sisters, the impetuosity of his temper and a propensity for a sea-faring life induced his friends to place him as an apprentice in the merchant-service. He was shipwrecked on the coast of Holland, and Mr. Gibson of Rotterdam, a friend of Mrs. Graham, took him to his house, and enabled him to come to the United States. He remained at New York for some months. His mother deemed it his duty to return to Scotland to complete his time of service. He evidently inclined to the profession of a sailor; she therefore fitted him out handsomely, and he embarked for Greenock in the same ship with Mr. John M. Mason, the only son of Dr. John Mason, who went to attend the theological lectures at the Divinity Hall in Edinburgh.

The following extract shows the anguish of Mrs. Graham's mind in parting with her son, and how she cast him upon the covenant mercy of her God, placing a blank, as to temporal things, in her Lord's hand, but holding on with a fervent faith and hope to the promise of spiritual life.

"NEW YORK, May 20, 1791.

"This day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart: he is again launched on the ocean, God's ocean. The Lord saved him from shipwreck, brought him to my home, and allowed me once more to indulge the yearning of my heart over him. Short has been the time he has been with me, and ill have I improved it: he is gone from my sight, and my heart bursts with tumultuous grief. Lord, have mercy on the

widow's son — 'the only son of his mother, and she a widow,'

"I ask nothing in all this world for him: I repeat my petition — save his soul alive; give him salvation from sin. It is not the danger of the seas that distresses me; it is not the hardships he must undergo; it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this world: it is because I cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in him. I discern not the new birth nor its fruits, but every symptom of captivity to Satan, the world, and self-will. This, O this is what distresses me: and in connection with this, his being shut out from ordinances, at a distance from Christians; and shut up with those who forget God, profane his name, and break his Sabbaths.

"O Lord, many wonders hast thou shown me; thy ways of dealing with me and mine have not been common; add this wonder to the rest: call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord, all things are possible with thee: glorify thy Son, and extend his kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters are they all. Thou art the God of consolation; only confirm to me thy gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope in the day when thou saidst to me, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' Only let this life be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in thy hand as to all temporal things. 'I wait for thy salvation.' Amen."

Three months afterwards she learned that a press-gang had boarded the ship in which her son was, and

although he was saved from their grasp by a stratagem of the passengers, yet all his effects were taken away from him. In the following reflections on this event, the anxious mother shows that she would not withdraw the blank she had put into her Redeemer's hands.

"NEW YORK, August 18, 1791.

"Thus far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice. This night I have tidings, through a letter to Dr. Mason, that my son has been seized by the press-gang. Through God's help, he escaped; but all his assortment of necessaries that his sisters and I made up with so much care, labor, and expense, they have carried off, and he is once more left naked. Satan and a corrupt heart unite in tempting me to complain. Dare I utter a word or harbor a murmuring thought? Would I withdraw the blank I have put into the Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? Have not my own afflictions been my greatest blessings? Have not I asked for my children their mother's portion? Has not God chiefly made use of afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up to my choice of this portion, as well as showing me that He is a sufficient portion without any other? When matters have been at the worst with me as to this world, my triumphs in God have been highest, and prospects for eternity brightest.

"Has the Lord given me in some measure victory over the world? Do its honors, riches, and gaudy splendor appear to me empty and vain, and not worth an anxious thought? Does provision of food and raiment by the way through this wilderness seem all that

is necessary? and is it my wish, as well as form of prayer, that the Lord may give that in kind and degree which he sees fittest for me? And shall I covet that for my child which I despise for myself? Alas, Lord, it is because he feeds not on better things, and sometimes I fear he has no better portion. Still, still foolish. Was it when I was full, or when in want, that I returned to my heavenly Father? Do I desire, have I asked and persisted in asking for my children, salvation from sin and self? Do I anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of submission and resignation to thy will — to enjoy God in all things, and nothing without him? And shall I, dare I complain when I see the Lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself, and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since I first tasted the blessedness of his chosen?

"Lord, I renew my blank. I afresh roll them all over upon thee. I will try to look on, in the faith that all things shall work together for good to their souls, and that I shall yet see the day, or if I see it not, that it will come, when they shall bow at thy footstool, sink into the open arms of thy mercy in Christ, melted down in holy, humble, acquiescing, cordial submission to thy severest dealings with them; when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths, and they shall sing as I do now, It hath been very good for me that I have been afflicted. I wait for thy salvation. Amen."

Again we mark her trust in God in the more common events of life, and her gratitude in the reception of blessings from his hand.

"NEW YORK, September, 1791.

"Many have been my burdens of late; strangers laid upon me to provide for, even when I thought I had not sufficient to give to all their due and provide for my own family. But what is that to me? the Lord increases business, lays more largely to hand, bears me and my burdens, provides for me and strangers. Lord, it is all well: give when thou wilt, and call for it again when and for what purpose thou wilt; it is thine own. I am thine, and all that thou givest me is thine; the world calls it mine, but I call it thine. If it be thy will, lead me in a plain path, or if thou lead me by a way which I know not, hold up my goings, so shall I be in peace and safety still. Amen."

"NEW YORK, October 10, 1791.

"This day did the Lord's sent servant, in a solemn manner, take us all to witness, and call in the witness of angels, that we had once more avouched ourselves to be the Lord's, and that once more Christ and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls. This same day, for the second time, have my two daughters sat down at the Redeemer's table among his professing people, and, I have reason to think, given their hearty assent to his covenant.

"Glory, glory, glory, to the hearer of prayer. I have cast my fatherless children on the Lord, and he has begun to make good my confidence. One thing, one only thing have I asked for them, leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld as consisting with that: I seek for my four children and myself, first of all, the kingdom of God.

"My God from day to day adds many other comforts, and strengthens my hopes by promising appearances,

that the grain of mustard seed is sown in the hearts of my three daughters. They have joined themselves to the people of God, and I have reason to think the Lord has ratified their surrender of themselves to him; he has made them willing for the time, and he will hedge them in to the choice they have made.

"Saturday, September, 1791, the Lord made me a grandmother, assisted my poor weakly girl, and gave a son to her and my arms. 'There was joy that a man-child was born into the world,' and according to that word 'she remembered no more the anguish.'

"Thanks be to God for this salvation; but, Lord, this is but a small thing with thee. Look, O look on this twig from a guilty stock; poor, helpless, feeble creature, it can do nothing for its body, and still less for its soul. O God of the spirits of all flesh, give it a plunge in the blood of Jesus — cleanse, O cleanse him from original sin, and now, even now, in thy own sovereign and mysterious way, sow the grain of mustard seed in his soul."

In the spring of 1792, Mrs. Graham and her family were called to a severe trial by the translation of their beloved pastor, Dr. Mason, to a better world. A few months before his decease, while preaching to his people, his recollection failed, his sermon was gone from his mind, and he sat down in his pulpit unable to proceed. After a short pause, he arose and addressed his people in a pious and affectionate strain; he considered this event as a call from his heavenly Master to expect a speedy dismission from the earth, and solemnly admonished them also to be prepared

for the will of God. His people, who loved him, were affected to tears. An illness soon followed, which terminated in the death of the body. He departed on the night when Mrs. Graham took her turn of watching with him, and she closed his eyes, which she always accounted a privilege and honor bestowed upon her by her divine Master. But this tender and affecting scene is best described in a letter which she wrote to her sympathizing friend Mrs. Walker, of Edinburgh.

"NEW YORK, April, 1792, Sabbath noon.

"MY DEAR MADAM — It is not my custom to take my pen on this day even to write to a Christian friend, having occasion for the whole time with my family or in secret with my God; but I cannot go to dinner, I cannot eat, I cannot talk to my girls; my heart must bleed afresh on the same altar upon which it has often been pierced. O, madam, my dear Dr. Mason goes, and leaves me here alone: in all probability his course is nearly finished, and his crown awaits him. Five physicians now attend him closely. I have seen him often, and he says, 'All is well, all will be well,' Of the physicians he said, 'Yes, yes, it is very well; they are useful men in God's hand; they may be instrumental in patching up the tabernacle a little. If it be raised to usefulness, I am content; if not to usefulness, I do not desire it. I feel no concern about the issue of this; the will of the Lord be done.'

"I say, Amen; but Oh, I feel alone. I should need large communications from his Master to fill up this blank. I cannot write for weeping; now my face is so swelled I cannot go to church. I called at his house this morning, found the doctors in the parlor,

and learned from them the worst. The bell was ringing for church. I stifled as much as possible my grief; would fain have come home to give it vent, but durst not be absent from the house of God. I heard a stranger in Dr. Rodgers' church; our doors are closed; his text was, 'Henceforth I call you not servants, but friends;' he ran the parallel between human friendship and that subsisting between Christ and his disciples. I ought to be comforted, nay, I am comforted.

"The Bible lies open before me; it is full of consolation; but all is in prospect. I look at God, what he is in himself, what he is to his people now and what he will be to eternity: the consolations of hope are mine; but for the present, I feel like the sparrow on the house-top, or like a pelican in the wilderness; and when I think on my years and the robustness of my constitution, and that I may have a long journey before me, I am not able to look at it. At the same time, when I consider my children, who, having lost their pastor, who bore them on his heart to the throne of grace, have double need of a mother, I dare not indulge a wish, far less put up a petition for release. O, that I could get under the influence of that spirit which I have witnessed in my dear pastor — that entire confidence in God — that perfect resignation to his will — that complacency in all he has done, is doing, or will do — that rest in God, of which he seems to be put in possession even now, while his breast is laboring and heaving like a broken bellows, and he cannot fetch one full breath. O, what cannot God effect.

"SUNDAY EVENING. I have again seen my dear pastor, and discern the clay dissolving fast. The words of dying saints are precious, and his are few. He thus

accosted me: 'I am just waiting the will of God; for the present I seem a useless blank in his hand; I can say very little; be not too anxious for my life, but transfer your care to the church; my life or death is but a trifle; if the Lord have any use for me, it is easy for him to raise me up still; and if he do, it will be agreeable to observe his hand distinct from men; if he should not, you will all be cared for; leave all to him and seek his glory.' He could say no more, nor will I to-night, but address myself to our Lord on his behalf, yours, my own, and our dear concerns.

"Several days have elapsed since I last wrote; our dear doctor still lives, often recruits, and again is reduced; but man can do no more; my last page, before the vessel sails, shall be of him.

"As to myself and family, we are as the Lord would have it with us, and I make no doubt as we need. Business very full; a house full of boarders, and about sixty scholars. I begin to feel the effects of fatigue or age, I know not which. The almond-tree flourishes; those that look out at the windows begin to be darkened; but the keepers of the house stand firm, and all the wheels and springs discharge their office, though more heavily; there is no judging of my days by present appearances. Well, let me once more return to my rest — God; commit my way to him, who shall bring to pass what is best, and in the end shall complete my happiness.

"APRIL 23, MONDAY. It is finished. My dear minister's bitter draught is over. On Thursday, the 19th of this month, a quarter before ten o'clock, A.M., the Lord received his spirit and laid his weary flesh to rest. He had a sore conflict with the king of terrors,

who seemed allowed to revel through every part of his mortal frame: his legs were mortified to his knees; he had not been able to lie down for four weeks, and died in his chair. Like his Master, he groaned, but never complained: he had a draught of his Master's cup, but the bitter ingredient desertion made no part of it. I had the honor to close his dear eyes, and to shut those dear lips from whence so many precious truths have proceeded, and to mix with the ministering spirits who attended to hail the released. This honor I had desired, but did not reckon myself worthy, and hardly hoped for it; but the Lord saw the wish, though never formed into a petition, and indulged me. I bless him for it. And now, farewell human friendships; let me gird up the loins of my mind, and run with patience the little further, looking unto Jesus, and following also him my pastor, 'who, through faith and patience, now inherits the promises.'

"This is a great work finished. Dr. Mason was 'a city set on a hill.' He was with the army during all the war after the evacuation of New York; had great influence over the soldiers; preached the gospel of peace uniformly, but never meddled with politics, though he was fully capable. In every situation the Lord supported him in uniformity and consistency of character, and carried him through without a single spot or stain. Glory to God in the highest for this repeated proof of his faithfulness. 'Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright, for the end of that man is peace.'

"I. GRAHAM."

Great was the grief of Dr. Mason's congregation on his removal. In him, to great learning were united

meekness, prudence, diligence, and knowledge of the world, and an affectionate superintendence of the interests, spiritual and temporal, of his flock. He so arranged his avocations and studies in regard to time, that he had always a few hours in the afternoon to devote to visiting the families of his congregation. So regular was the order he observed, that Mrs. Graham and her family knew when to calculate on seeing him, and always expected him with the anticipation of profit and pleasure. Once every week they were sure of seeing him, if in health. His visits were short, his conversation serious, awakening, instructive, and affectionate. He inquired about their temporal affairs, and in cases of difficulty gave them his best advice. His counsels were salutary; his knowledge of the world and his discrimination of character rendered him well qualified to advise. In one of his visits to Mrs. Graham she mentioned to him the want of good servants as one of her trials. "Mrs. Graham," said he, "have you ever prayed to the Lord to provide good servants for you? Nothing which interests our comfort is too minute for the care of our heavenly Father."

To one of her daughters, who felt a strong inclination to profess her faith in Christ by joining the communion of his church, but yet was afraid that her heart was not sufficiently engaged for the service of God, Dr. Mason proposed the following question: "If," said he, "the world, with all its wealth, pleasures, and power, were placed in one scale, and Christ alone in the other, which would your heart freely choose as a portion?" On her replying there would be no hesitation as to her choice of Christ, he gave her encouragement

to profess her faith, although it might not at present amount to the full assurance of hope.

He was indeed a faithful shepherd of his flock, and his people mourned for him as for an affectionate father. It is much to be desired that his example were more followed by Christian pastors. To preach with eloquence and acceptance is a talent of great value in a minister of the gospel; this makes him respected, and his congregation admire him, because, for one reason, they are proud of him; but to gain their affections, to make a congregation the children of an aged pastor, or the friends and brethren of a younger one, let the minister visit the families of his people; this will seal on their hearts the regard which their understandings had already dictated.

Very few ministers have been more remarkable for a strict attention to this duty, than the late Dr. John Mason and his venerable and attached friend Dr. Rodgers. When the former died, the latter exclaimed, "I feel as if I had lost a right arm."

The congregation, bereaved of their pastor, wrote immediately to his son, the late Rev. Dr. John Mitchell Mason, to hasten his return from Edinburgh to New York; and after preaching to them with great acceptance for several months, he was ordained and installed pastor of the church in April, 1793. Mrs. Graham entertained for him the most affectionate attachment, and this attachment was reciprocal.

At this date we find some of Mrs. Graham's delightful devotional exercises.

"NEW YORK, 1793.

"Blessed Lord, thou hast, to the praise of thy grace, given me the heritage of them that fear thy name;

thou hast prepared my heart to pray, and inclined thine ear to hear; thou hast drawn me into thy fold, and hast fed me in thy green pastures. I rejoice in Israel's Shepherd; not one of his flock shall be lost. Often have I wandered from his presence and sought pasture among the swine, but my Shepherd has ever drawn or driven me back. He has a rod and I have felt it; but I bless the hand and kiss the rod.

"O, how wonderful to look back and see 'all the way by which he has led me, to prove me, to try me, to show me what was in my heart, that he might do me good at my latter end.' Amen, my God, I leave myself in thy hands. I should lose myself; but thou wilt keep me from foes without and foes within. What then have I to care for? My Shepherd careth for all; he slumbers not nor sleeps, and he will perfect what concerns me; of this I am as sure as that I now write it.

"The law of thy mouth is better unto me than gold and silver. O how I love thy law, it is my meditation all the day. Thou, through thy commandments — or the whole of thy truth — hast made me wiser than my teachers. The law of God makes the simple wise. How sweet are thy words unto my taste, yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth. Through thy precepts I get understanding, therefore I hate every false way. 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.' How safe, how happy are they who are taught by the word of God. 'Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood hath not taught thee this, but my Father who is in heaven.'

"O my children, enrich your minds with a full acquaintance with the word of God; lay it up in your

memories, when you can do nothing more; be assured, if ever you are made wise unto salvation, it must be by this word; if ever you are taught of God, he will teach you by the words contained in the Bible. 'Search the Scriptures, for they are they which testify of me;' search the Scriptures, for in them are contained the words of eternal life. 'Be followers of them who, through faith and patience, now inherit the promises.'

"Holy David went forward, heavenward, improving in the knowledge of God, of himself, and of God's plan of salvation for ruined sinners, by studying the word, the works, and the providences of God, but chiefly the word of God; praying for, watching for the influences of God's Spirit on his judgment and thinking powers: it was by this that he became wiser than his teachers. He was a king, and had the cares of the nation to occupy his mind; he was a man of war, and had that art to study. But O, the privilege of the Christian! he goes through every part, even of his earthly way, leaning upon God. David could say, even of war, 'The Lord teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.' 'The Lord subdued the people under me.' In temporals and in spirituals, he is my shield, my strength, my buckler, my strong tower.' I shall not fear what man can do unto me.' 'In Judah's land God is well known; there he brake the spear, the bow, and the battle.' He ascribes all to God. We hear nothing of his own wisdom, his disciplined armies, his order of battle and warlike powers, though attention to all these was his duty, and not neglected by him. He devoted all his natural talents to God; he exercised them diligently, but still he knew and acted under the influence of that knowledge, that

unless the Lord build the house, the builders lose their pains; unless the Lord keep the city, the watchmen watch in vain. He, as well as worldly men, chose the means best adapted to the end proposed. Let natural men assert, and let it be admitted, that David knew better how to use a sling and a stone, than mail, helmet, and sword; therefore he chose them. But follow David until he meets the hostile foe. Do we hear a word of his art as a slinger, as a marksman? though we may suppose he was expert at both. 'Thou comest to me with a sword, a spear, and a shield; but I come in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel whom thou hast defied; and this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear' — these are not essential — 'for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hands.'

"How comfortably might Christians go through life did they walk with God in their daily business and occupations, carefully observing the leadings of Providence, cautiously avoiding either running before or lagging behind; but in all things making their requests known to God; at all times committing their way to him, being careful about nothing, but to use with diligence the means of grace, and also the means of acquiring the good things of life, leaving the issues of both to God, in the full assurance that what is good the Lord will give. 'Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.' In spirituals and in temporals, 'the hand of the diligent maketh rich.' Be 'not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.'

"Lord, teach me thy law graciously, in all its perfection,

its extent, order, beauty, and harmony, and grant me all the assistance provided to enable a lost, depraved, corrupted child of Adam, to set out in thy good ways, to go forward, and to finish in the same course; and all the consolation, joy, and peace which thou hast provided to be enjoyed in a measure even here, and to be perfected in the world to come. Amen.

"'O Israel, return unto the Lord, for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity.' Hos. 14. Yes, fallen, O how fallen from God the only good, the fountain of happiness. Lost his image, which was the glory of man in paradise. Lost that sweet complacency and delight in his perfections and attributes which innocence enjoyed. Lost rectitude of reason and judgment. No longer can we judge of excellence, no longer love what God loves. Our wills no longer straight with his will, but crooked, opposing God, and choosing evil instead of good. 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Amen, says my soul, in thee is my help."

"NEW YORK, October 3, 1793.

"'One shall say, I am the Lord's, and another shall call himself by the name of Jacob; and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the Lord, and surname himself by the name of Israel.' Isaiah 44:5.

"I, as one, subscribe to the truth of all that God has said: I, as one, subscribe my assent to all he has done. I set my amen to his well-ordered covenant, well-ordered in all things, and sure. And this is the covenant, even Christ, the sum and substance, for he hath given him to be a covenant of the people. The whole and every part of it is God's covenant. To me

it must be a testament, the new testament in Christ's blood. To me it must be a covenant of gifts and promises. I can be no party, having nothing to give; nothing with which to covenant. He hath said, 'Thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Amen. Be my help, my deliverer.

"'Look unto me, all ye ends of the earth, and be saved; for I am God, and there is none else.' I do look unto thee alone for salvation. Thou art God; there is none else: besides thee there is no Saviour.

"'I will pour water on the thirsty, and floods on the parched ground. I will pour my Spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thy offspring.' Amen. I yield my soul into thy hand, dry and parched, to receive thy showers of reviving, quickening, fructifying grace."

Writing about this date to her beloved friend Mrs. O—— of Edinburgh, Mrs. Graham, for the encouragement of her friend, gives her, in confidence, the following record of her own Christian experience:

"It is now. I think, thirty-five years since I simply, but solemnly, accepted of the Lord's Christ, as God's gift to a lost world. I rolled my condemned, perishing, corrupted soul upon this Jesus, exhibited in the gospel as a Saviour from sin. My views then were dark compared with what they now are: but this I remember, that at the time I felt heart-satisfying trust in the mercy of God, as the purchase of Christ; and for a time rejoiced with joy scarce supportable, singing almost continually the 103d Psalm.

"I took a view of the promises of God, and wrote out many of them, and called them mine; and among

the foremost was that in Psalm 89:30-33; and well has the Lord kept me to it, and made it good: for, my dear friend, never was there a more unsteady, unwatchful Christian; never did the children of Israel's conduct in the wilderness depict any Christian's heart and conduct in the gospel times better than mine; and just so has the Lord dealt with me. When he slew me, then I trusted in him; when he gave me carnal ease and comfort, I forgot my Rock and rebelled. Often did I stumble too from legality, instead of looking at my own weakness and impotence, and trusting wholly in my Redeemer's strength. I was wroth with myself, wondered at myself, and thought it impossible I could be as I had been. I made strong resolutions, yea, vows, and became a slave in means to hedge in this wandering, worldly, vain, flighty heart; but, alas, a few months found me where I was, with scarce a thought of God from morning to night; prayer huddled over in words that had no effect on my heart; and the fear of hell the chief restraint from sin or spur to duty. Then, in general, the Lord had some affliction for me, which laid me afresh at his feet, and made me take a fresh grasp of Christ, and a fresh view of his covenant: then again I felt safety, joy, peace, and happiness.

"Thus, by line upon line, by precept upon precept, aye, and by stripe upon stripe, he taught me that I could not walk a moment alone. This is now my fixed faith; and in proportion as I keep it in sight, I walk safely; but I still forget, and still stumble and still fall; but I am lifted up and taught lesson after lesson; and I shall stumble and shall fall while sin is in me; but the last stumble shall come, and the last stripe

shall be laid on, and the last lesson taught, and that which concerns me shall be perfected. O, then shall I look back, and see 'all the way by which he has led me, to prove me and try me, and show me what was in my heart, that he might do me good in my latter end.'

"I am often, even in this valley of darkness and ignorance, allowed this retrospective view; and am led to say not one word of all that he promised has failed. 'Hitherto the Lord hath helped, he hath been the guide of my youth, and even unto hoar hairs will he lead me;' and when he calls me to pass through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall even then fear no evil, for his rod and staff shall support me; and I shall enter into the presence of my Redeemer, white and clean, dressed in his most perfect righteousness; angels and saints shall know me in this glorious robe; my Redeemer will acknowledge me as his ransomed, and I shall be for ever with the Lord."

To Mr. A.D., Edinburgh.

"NEW YORK, 1793.

"I have just been reading over my dear friend's precious letters, and am refreshed anew by the same truths and uniform experience of every Christian; which all amounts to this, that the Lord is the portion of his people, and that whom he loves, he loves to the end. My soul melts with tenderness when I recollect my fellow-travellers in the wilderness; those dear associates with whom I have so often taken sweet counsel; who so often comforted me with the same comforts with which they themselves were comforted. I am also led to recollect some who have finished their warfare; some whose trials were sharp and long, but who, through the same grace in which we trust, were steadfast

to the end; and now inherit a crown of life — the reward of grace, not of debt.

"I rejoice to hear that your children are promising; I think it is the greatest comfort a parent can enjoy in this world. I have a large share of it in my three daughters; but my prodigal is not come to himself; he still feeds on husks, nor thinks of the plenty in his Father's house. I had great hopes last winter; I heard he had been very ill in consequence of very severe treatment from his captain. The Lord has been emptying him from vessel to vessel, and I have been waiting the issue; but mine eyes almost fail. I have great hopes that God's time of mercy will come. I am also satisfied that it will be the best time; but still I cry, O how long? My dear friends, I think I would recommend it to you to keep your children about you. No other had ever the influence over him that I had; and I regret that I did not bring him with me.

"Our young Timothy, J.M., is a perfect champion for the gospel of Jesus; the Lord has well girded him and largely endowed him; he walks closely with God, and speaks and preaches like a Christian of long experience: he was ordained about two months ago in his father's church, and a few weeks after married a lady of eminent piety, and preached all the day, both the Sabbath before and after: no levity, no novelty appeared in word or gesture, which is not always the case with the best at such times. There is probably no church in New York whose discipline is as strict, nor one which has so many communicants. He is reckoned a man of great talents and an orator; and many of even the idle and careless go to hear him.

"A few Sabbaths ago he preached from these

words, 'I determined to know nothing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.' After proving that all the Scriptures, from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation, pointed to Christ and his great work of redemption, and asserting that that sermon could not be called the gospel of which He was not the subject, he spoke home to his audience, and told them that this, through the aid of divine grace, was his firm purpose — to dwell on redeeming love. He was sure no subject would be welcome to any Christian, where Christ was not to be found; nor would any such subject ever convert a sinner; and therefore, if any were about to take their place there, expecting to hear any new or strange thing, let them not disappoint themselves. O, for a thankful heart; the Lord has indeed done wonders for me and mine; and blessed be his name for his mercy also, that in a remarkable manner, by a strange concurrence of circumstances, he hedged me in to become a member of this congregation, where I am led and fed with the same truths which nourished my soul in Zion's gates at Edinburgh; and I am helped to sing the Lord's song in a foreign land. Often have I been tempted to hang my harp upon the willow, 'when Zion I thought on;' but this was, and sometimes still is my sin and ingratitude, for I ought to build houses, and plant vineyards, and seek the good of the land; for he has a small vineyard here, which he waters and cultivates, and I ought to labor therein, and do whatsoever my hand findeth to do with diligence, and say, 'The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof; heaven is his throne, the earth his footstool,' and he fills all things and all places.

"'What aileth thee, Hagar?' O what a God of mercy is our God! Often has he hailed me in some such language: 'What aileth thee?' why is thy countenance sad? am I not better to thee than ten friends? Then has he turned my heart to him, made me feel myself close to him; he has suffered me to lean on his bosom, hang on his arm, and lisp out, Abba. At such blest moments I have thought the whole earth but one point, and from that to heaven but one step, and the time between but as one moment; and my company here sufficient to satisfy me by the way. At such blest moments I felt perfect, full, entire satisfaction with all that God is, all that he does; and could trust him fully with all my concerns, spiritual, temporal, and eternal. But, alas, by and by, like a peevish child, I began to fret, wish this, wish that; grieve for this, grieve for that; fear this, fear that; stagger, stumble, fall. O what a God of patience and long-suffering. And O how rich that well-ordered covenant, that provides suitable grace for all these unsteady seasons. It is my greatest consolation that the Lord knows it all. There are times when I cannot see him, but every moment he sees me. I should fall off and leave him, but he holds me fast and never leaves me. O blessed plan, where God secures us in safety, even from ourselves. We have not only destroyed ourselves, and he has been our help; but we are ever destroying ourselves, and still he renews this help.

"Well, what shall we say? Father, glorify thy name, and let us lie in thy hand as clay in the potter's, till thou finish thy workmanship, and fit us vessels of mercy, to be filled with happiness, when thou shalt have done thy good pleasure in us, and by us, in

this world, through the grace that is in Christ Jesus, who loved us, and gave himself for us; to whom be glory, honor, and praise in the church below, and in the general assembly above, now and ever. Amen.

"My love, my heart's love, to my dear Mrs. D——. I am ever your affectionate friend, in the bonds of the gospel,

"ISABELLA GRAHAM."

Early in 1793 Mrs. Graham heard, from a worthy clergyman at Greenock, who, at her request, paid attention to her son, that he had been very ill of a fever, and subsequently subject to epileptic fits. In one of these he had fallen from the mast-head, and was rendered unfit for service for many months. The gentleman to whom he was apprenticed, permitted him to leave. In these circumstances Mrs. Graham addressed to him the following letter:

"MY LONG-LOST BUT STILL DEAR SON — If this ever reach you, hearken to the voice of your mother, your only parent, and to the voice of God by her. O, my son, you have had a long race in the service of Satan; he has kept you in bondage and made you his drudge. You are far advanced in the broad way that leads to destruction — to that place of endless torment prepared for the devil and his angels, to which Satan is dragging you. He has even been seeking the destruction of your body, that he might have you secure.

"O, my son, think. Has he proved a good master? What have you found in his service? and has he not disappointed all your gayest hopes, and fed you with husks? Have you, my son, been happy? Are you not obliged to drive away your own reflections? I know you are. Dare you, my son, sit down and

think over all the past, all the present, and look forward to the future with any degree of comfort? My son, you cannot. Hear then the word of the Lord; that Lord, that merciful Lord, who has seen you in all your rebellion, heard every profane oath you may have uttered, seen you rioting among the sons of Belial; yet what is his voice to you? O, my son, it is not, 'Bind him hand and foot, and cast him into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone; where there is weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.' No, my son, the door of mercy is still open to you; the Lord calls, 'O sinner, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Only repent, so iniquity shall not prove your ruin.' 'Hearken unto me, ye stout-hearted, that are far from righteousness: I bring near my righteousness; it shall not be far off, and my salvation shall not tarry.' 'Hear, and your soul shall live.' 'Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved' — saved from hell; saved from Satan and his snare; saved from the force of corruption in your heart.

"I do not call upon you, my poor corrupt boy, to turn from sin and work righteousness in your own strength; this you can no more do than the Ethiopian can change his skin; but I do call upon you to receive the whole of God's salvation, and power to resist sin is a principal part of it. In God's word it is said, that the Lord gave Christ to be a covenant to the people: we have to covenant with him on our part; we are all poor, lost, miserable creatures, I as well as you, by nature; but the Lord Christ is God's gift to sinners. All the other promises are made to those

who have received and accepted of this gift; but Christ himself is God's gift to sinners — to the chief of sinners — to you, John Graham, by name; and the Bible says, to as many as receive him, to them gives he power to become the sons of God. God gave Christ to become the price in our hand; we take this gift, and offer back, as the price of our redemption, his atoning sacrifice, his all-perfect righteousness; and on this ground we are entitled, by his own plan, which he prepared from first to last, to plead for the full accomplishment of all the promises in the Bible: for the pardon of sin; yea, for an entire new nature.

"O, my son, open your Bible, go to your knees, look out words there fit for your case; present them humbly before God, turn all the promises you find there, all the offers, all the calls, all the commands, all the threatenings into prayer — for you of yourself can do nothing — and ask that God, for Christ's sake, may pour out on you the spirit of prayer. I know not how to have done; yet I well know, unless the Lord soften your poor obdurate heart, it will still remain hard. O, my son, be willing to put it in his hand, to receive his salvation, and give yourself up to his guiding. I beg you will read with care the 15th chapter of the gospel of Luke. The Lord spoke these parables to show how very willing he is to receive returning sinners. Your mother and all your sisters are willing to follow his example; return to us, my son. We will watch over you we will pray over you, and we will try, by every endearing method, to restore you not only to health, but to comfort. Your sisters wish you to come; all your friends are willing to receive you; we will not upbraid you.

"Do, my dear, leave Greenock; come out to us by any way you can find, I will pay your passage here; or if you can get to any port in America, you can write me from that, and I will get you forwarded here; and, after you are here, if you still wish to follow the sea, we can get you a berth in some trading vessel from this. All your friends here send best wishes. And now, my son, I commend you to the Lord. O, that he may bless this to you,

"Your affectionate mother,

"I. GRAHAM."

The last intelligence that Mrs. Graham received of her unfortunate son was in a letter from himself, dated Demarara, 1794, in which he states that he had sailed from Amsterdam in a Dutch vessel; was taken by the French, and retaken by the English; had arrived at Demarara in the ship Hope; and should he not soon hear from his mother, would return to Europe with a fleet which was shortly to sail under convoy. Mrs. Graham notices this event as follows:

"NEW YORK, February 20, 1794.

"This day I have a letter from my poor wanderer. It is more than a year since I heard of him. Accept of my thanks, good and gracious Lord. I feared his cup had been full, and he called out of the world with all his sins on his own head; for I have no tidings of his turning from his sinful courses, or fleeing from the wrath to come, by taking hold of the hope set before him.

"I bless thee, Oh, I bless thee, for thy sparing mercy, thy long-suffering, thy patience, thy forbearance. Yea, even to him, thou hast been more than all this. Thou hast been his preserver, his provider; thou hast

watched over him in many imminent dangers, in the great deeps, in burning and in frozen climes.

"Thou hast followed him with thy preserving mercy and temporal bounty. He is still in the land of the living, and among those who are called to look unto thee and live. Still thou feedest my hopes of better things for him. Thou sufferest my prayers to lie on the table of thy covenant. I will trust, I will hope, I will believe, that in an accepted time thou wilt hear me, and in a day of thy power thou wilt bow his stubborn will, and lay him an humble suppliant at thy feet. Oh, I trust thou wilt bring this poor prodigal to himself, and turn his steps towards his Father's house. See how he feeds with the swine upon husks, and even these not his own. O turn his thoughts to his 'Father's house, where there is bread enough, and to spare.'

"'Lord, remember thy gracious word, on which thou hast caused me to hope,' and which has ever been my comfort in the time of my affliction, and in my straits my only relief.

"He is again launched into thy great ocean. Lord, he is far from every friend and from every means of grace, and for any thing I know, far from thee by wicked works; under thy curse and hateful in thy sight; but thou, God, seest him. Means are not necessary, if thou willest to work without. Thou canst find an avenue to his heart at once. Dead as he is, vile as he is, guilty as he is, far from help of man, and in the most unlikely situation to receive the help of God, yet I know all these hinderances, all these mountains shall melt as wax at thy presence.

"Lord, I believe, thou knowest I believe, that if

thou but speak the word, this dead soul shall live; this vile, this guilty soul shall be cleansed, shall be renewed, and my son be changed to an humble, thankful, genuine child of God, through the cleansing blood of atonement, through the imputation of the Redeemer's righteousness and the implantation of thy Spirit. I can do nothing for him, but thou canst do all this. I wait for it, Lord, I wait for thy salvation. Lord, let there be 'joy in heaven over this one sinner repenting.' I roll him on thee. I trust in thy sovereign, free, unmerited mercy in Christ. Amen."

All inquiries instituted by kind friends respecting this son proved fruitless; and as a vessel named the Hope was some months after reported as having been taken by the French, it is perhaps probable that he died in a French prison.

Thus again had his afflicted mother to exercise faith and submission, not without hope towards God that the great Redeemer had taken care of, and would finally save this prodigal son. She had known a case in her father's family, which excited their solicitude and encouraged her hope. Her younger brother, Archibald Marshall, a lad of high temper, though possessed of an affectionate heart, had gone to sea, and was not heard of at all for several years. A pious woman, who kept a boarding-house in Paisley, found one of her boarders one day reading Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, with Archibald Marshall's name written on the blank leaf. On inquiry, the stranger told her that he got that book from a young man on his death-bed as a token of regard. That young man was Archibald Marshall; he

was an exemplary Christian, "and I have reason," added he, "to bless God that he ever was my mess-mate." The woman who heard this account, transmitted it to Mr. Marshall's family, who were known to her. Mrs. Graham had no such consolatory account afforded to her; but under much yearning of heart she left this concern, as well as every other, to the disposal of that God "who doeth all things well."

Again she sings of mercy in a sweet meditation.

"NEW YORK, October 1, 1794

"'Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.'

"Blessed be the Lord, for he hath showed me his marvellous loving-kindness in a strong city — Christ, the city of refuge.

"Thou hast given me my heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of my lips. 'One thing have I desired of the Lord,' and through life sought after for myself and the children whom thou hast given me; 'that all the days of our lives we might dwell in the house of the Lord,' behold his beauty, and inquire in his holy temple; that in the time of trouble he would hide us in his pavilion, in the secret of his tabernacle, and set our feet upon a rock.

"O thou incarnate God; thou blessed temple not made with hands; thou blessed pavilion, in which thy people hide in the time of trouble, and are safe; thou Rock of ages, on which we build our hopes for time and eternity, and defy the assaults of sin, Satan, and the world: thou, Jehovah Jesus, art all these to thy people. Thou broughtest them 'from a fearful pit and from the miry clay; thou settest their feet upon this

spiritual rock, and establishest their goings; thou puttest a new song in their mouths, even praise unto their God.' Many have seen it and sung it; many now see and sing it; many shall see and sing it, and trust in the Lord. They find in thee all that is expressive of life; all that is expressive of safety; all that is expressive of comfort; all that is expressive of happiness.

"'O how many are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward; they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.' Thou, thy blessed self, art the sum and substance of every good to man. All this I know; all this have I at different times experienced; and yet my heart is heavy, my spirits depressed. There is no cause, Oh no. Thy very afflictive providences have met my wishes, and been so many answers to my prayers.

"Thou Husband of the widow, thou Father of the fatherless, O how fully, how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy worthless servant. Thou, in my early widowhood, didst call me to leave my fatherless children on thee, annexing the promise that thou wouldst preserve them alive.

"Thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a spiritual sense; to ask, to hope, to wait for the new birth, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow.

"In three of these fatherless I have seen thy work. Long did the grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness; long were my hopes and fears alternate; but now the blessed discipline of

the covenant has been exercised; I have witnessed it, I have felt it — suffered the rod with them and for them, but waited for the fruits in hope; and glory to thee, dear Husband and Father, I have not waited in vain. Thou hast written vanity, and opened our eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment, except so far as thou art enjoyed in them. Thou hast enabled not only thine aged servant, but her children, to put a blank into thy hand, and to say, 'Choose thou for us.' We take hold of thy covenant, and choose it for our portion. Is not this, O Lord, the full amount of my desires? Thou wilt finish the work in thy own time, and by means of thy appointing. Amen. Lord, do as thou hast said."

---