LETTER VIII.
“What man is he that feareth the Lord? Him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose.”
To —
My dear Friend,—You well remember me, when an attendant on the society in Tottenham-court Chapel. The Lord has called you out at times to be a public witness to his truth in several schools and villages, in the Itinerant Societies. This is an arduous but most delightful work; and if it was the will of God, I would devote myself entirely to that sacred employment—for though you return on Sunday evening with a tired body, yet your mind is happy: not encumbered with the cares of a church, the tempers, whims, and vexations of your hearers, nor the envy of your brethren, which abounds, if you prosper—but every minister will see it needful to abide in that work in which the Lord has called him; and, like the stars, some are fixed, and some constantly moving round the sun—so it is with us; but this pleasing thought cheers us—they that turn many to righteousness, shall shine as the sun and the stars for ever and ever.—Dan. xii. 9. What an honor conferred on such as us, to be instrumental in turning any to the righteousness of Christ, and to walk in his righteous ways! But to return to my tale. I had not the pleasure of going out for the London Itinerant Society many months, or for the Baptist Society—through weakness of body, the journies were too long for me—and being returned to the family of the worthies, for so I must ever denominate the Jacksons, by whom you know I was recommended to the prayer-meeting, and Expounding Society at Tottenham-court Chapel, I attended the early prayer-meeting on Sundays and Fridays. During this time I only travelled occasionally for the Itinerant Society; but being approved of among them, and engaging in prayer with them, I was appointed to expound the Scriptures amongst them, one Thursday evening. As I had never attempted to speak in public before, only in prayer, and some sort of addresses to children in the school, this appointment laid very heavy on my mind; a sense of unfitness, the fears of presumption, the dread of rushing into the work uncalled, and the horrors of falling into sin, and publicly exposing the cause, drove me at times to my wits ends. Yet, a love for souls, a love of truth, and a most inveterate hatred of error; the starving state of many pious souls of villages where I had been, and the shyness of the preachers declaring the great truths of God. These things weighed deeply on my mind, and impelled me to go forward; in the mean time, I was enabled to be looking constantly to the Lord for his approbation, his direction and blessing. The night arrived, the society met; my name was called: I went with trembling knees, and once more offering up a petition to the Lord for help, I opened the Bible, and expounded the 1st chapter of the Revelations. The Lord opened my mouth, and filled my lips with important matter: those who were present were astonished, though some thought the doctrine was too high. This was the first time I ever attempted to speak from the Holy Scriptures: I was requested to speak again and again, but I only expounded the Word, as I felt my mind most at liberty upon that subject. During this time it was also proposed that I should speak from the Word of God, at Tottenham Chapel Society, which I did several times; but there were a few of the leaders of that society who disapproved of it, urging, the manner and spirit of my exhortations were too much like Huntington’s. I accordingly declined speaking, but was requested to continue among them in the prayer-meeting, which I did till I was called elsewhere. I now began to fear I had presumed, in attempting to take an office upon me so high and so holy; begged the Lord to pardon me, and promised to offend no more. I gave up the work for a season. During this time of silence, my mind ran much upon the education of ignorant children; and I well remember, that, on one May-day, I had occasion to call on a friend in Brook-street, New Road: I saw a great crowd of children, of both sexes, around the dancing sweeps; it then occurred to my mind how useful would be a Sunday-school in this neighbourhood: I enquired if such an institution had ever been in that place, or thereabouts, and, to my astonishment, I found none; and even many old professors at Tottenham Chapel did not know what I meant. The first thing necessary was a room, which I soon obtained, at the low rent of 1s. 6d. per week; but, how I was to get even that, and some needful books, I knew not; and, another obstacle was, whether the parents in the low neighbourhood about there, would be willing to let their children attend. I communicated my plan to one or two others, young men who had travelled for the Itinerant Society; some of whom went abroad, and became, I hope, useful missionaries, whom I have heard, are since dead; two brothers, the Gordons, and Mr. Loveless, whose names often occurred in the Evangelical Magazine: these assisted in the work, and one young man, Mr. Dowling, who was the most active of all, and who made it his study, day and night, to be useful to the rising generation—he is now one of the most choice preachers of the age, settled at C. in Essex. We opened the school one Sunday morning, and about seventeen children attended; in the afternoon there came double that number; the following Sunday came many more, so that we were soon obliged to seek a larger place, which was obtained in Tottenham-Court Road, near the chapel: this was also desirable, as it gave the children an opportunity of attending the Word, and making the school known. This last place was also too small. A large building was taken in Cleveland-street, and no school I ever heard of, sprung up so quick, was attended so well, or became so useful; this, by the blessing of God, was owing to the wise plan, and great exertions of Mr. D. It still continues, I hear, in a very flourishing state, and though the name of its founder is buried in oblivion, yet many have cause to be thankful for the hint given me by the Lord, on a May-day. It is now, I believe, called the Fitzroy Sabbath School. [51] The Lord would not, however, let me be hid, and although I ceased expounding Scripture for some time, yet the Lord called me out again elsewhere. I became a subject of some conversation, and began to be known. There was a little society, held at a Mr. Foxwell’s, in the parish of St. Ann’s, Soho, denominated The Westminster Itinerant Society; this was but new, and so little known, that they could scarcely send to but one village. I went one evening, in company with a friend, to this society, and found them much more lively, spiritual, and loving-hearted than any other I had ever been in. Some one in the room hinted to the manager, that I had been used to go out teaching in villages, and he requested I would go out for them, if they were needy, to which I consented, but had no immediate appointment at that time. This was on a Tuesday; on the following Friday, two striking portions of Scripture came into my mind very forcibly, and was opened in their meaning and connexion; nor did I lose them all the day, though I could not tell why they were thus sent. Late at night, before I went to rest, a person (a preacher) called on me, and begged I would go, on the following Sunday, into a village called the Hyde, near Edgeware, to preach, afternoon and evening; this struck me so powerfully, I knew not how to answer him; and before I could begin my long string of objections; these words came with power: “As thy day is, so shall thy strength be.” I did not like to give my consent, in the presence of my wife and her sister, as she was a conscientious, woman, and dreaded my rushing into the ministry, without a Divine call, as much as I did; but, after much conversation, I consented to go. When I arose on (Saturday morning) the words, which came with power, still abode with me, and the two texts, which had dwelt on my mind, still opened to me. On the Lord’s day I went, lifting up my heart to God, that He would be with me. I ascended the desk, and, after reading and prayer, I took one of the two texts, which had been on my mind the two days previous—one of which was, “For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ, in God;” and the other was 1 Peter, i. 3, 7, which I preached on in the evening. I told no one, till the close of the evening service, that it was the first time I ever attempted to preach; and they, with me, gave God the glory, that I had found him true to his word, in giving me light, comfort, utterance and consistency, just as I needed it. It was at this time I became acquainted with our mutual friend, good Mr. Roth and family. This was the beginning of my public ministry. Oh, that I had adorned it better, and brought forth more fruit to the glory of Christ.
Yours truly, in Him, J. C.
Thus far the Lord has led me on,
Thus far his power prolong’d my days,
And every grand display of love
Adds fresh memorials of his grace.