THE DR. AND HIS CROSS-EYED GIRL.—PAGE 351.
He became much infatuated with her, and she didn't seem to dislike him very much. At any rate, they danced nearly every set together. When supper was announced he waited upon her. It so happened that the Doctor sat at the end of the table, she to his left at the side of the table, and I to his right, opposite her.
The first thing I said was:
"All I care for is pie and coffee."
The Doctor looked sober and enraged.
After all were nicely seated, I told one or two old chestnuts, when the Doctor ventured on one of his latest. Then I said:
"Doctor, we are all alike. It simply shows our 'impecuniosity' to sit here and tell stories, when we ought to finish our meal and make room for others."
Nobody laughed, so I told another. It was about an old gentleman going out to sell stove-pipe brackets. Everybody laughed but the Doctor. I then said:
"Doctor, let's hear from you, now."
He was too full for utterance, and as I very well knew, would have given considerable for a chance to express himself.
After supper he called me out on the porch and said he just expected every minute that I was going to mention his name in connection with that peddling story, and it was well I didn't.
"Well, Doctor, I didn't mean you at all."
"The d——l you didn't! I wonder who you meant, if not me."
I then said:
"I see you are having a nice time. Nice girl, you have taken a fancy to; but I was introduced to her before you were."
"Well, it doesn't make any difference about that," he answered. "She will have nothing to do with you."
"Why not?"
"Because I told her you were a married man, and that settled it."
"Oh, ho! I see, Doctor. I see you were afraid I would out-shine you, weren't you?"
"Not much, sir; not much. I know what she thinks of me, and just how well I stand in her estimation. She is a rich man's daugh——".
"Yes," I interrupted, "and she will never speak to you, after to-night."
"She will, unless you tell some of your infernal yarns and connect me with them; and if you do, I'll—I'll——"
"But, Doctor," I said, hastily, "what will the landlady say, when she gets home and sees how things are going?"
"Oh, you cussed idiot!" he screamed. "Do you think she has a string tied to me? What do you s'pose I care for her? Is she any comparison to this young lady?"
"No, I suppose not; but, Doctor, you are fooled in this girl; and I'll bet you didn't tell her about my being married till after supper."
"What makes you think that?"
"Well, I noticed that she kept looking at me all the time we were eating."
"No such a —— thing. I know she was looking at me. I know she was. And another thing I know——"
"Yes," I put in, "and another thing I know."
"What's that?"
"Well, sir, while we were at the table she kept her feet pressing against my feet all the time."
"Oh, you idiot! Those were my feet that were pressing against yours."
"Then if you knew they were mine, why did you keep pushing yours against them all the time?"
Under much excitement he answered:
"Because—because, sir, I—I—I thought I would have a little fun with you. That's why."
"Yes; because you thought they were the girl's feet. That's why."
Then assuming his usual dramatic attitude, and striking his breast with his clinched fist, he cried out:
"Johnston, if you cast any imputation against the character of this young lady, you will have to answer to me, sir. Now remember what I tell you."
"Well, Doctor, you had better go in and resume dancing. You are losing lots of fun."
"Yes," he quickly answered. "I know I am; I know I am. This is what I get for introducing you into society."
We then returned to the dancing room, and the Doctor found no difficulty in getting the attention of the cross-eyed belle.
By this time the boys were jealous, anyway, and would have nothing to do with her.
About two o'clock in the morning the Doctor came to me and said:
"Johnston, I am going to take this young lady home."
"How far does she reside from here?"
"About six miles."
"Have you ordered a livery team?"
"Not by a dang sight. Why should I? Can't I use our horse and buggy?"
I replied that I thought not.
"I think I can, I know I can, and I know I will. The half of that rig belongs to me. I have agreed to take her, and I must do it."
"Well, I should think you had better be starting, if you are going with our horse, and expect to return before morning."
"We will not start till the dance breaks up, Mr. Johnston," was his defiant answer.
"Where am I to stay?" I asked, "What am I going to do while you are traveling six miles and back, with that old plug of a horse, after everybody has gone home?"
"That, sir, is a matter of no concern to me; but that young lady must be taken home by me to-night, and no disappointment."
Then he and the cross-eyed girl took their places for another quadrille.
By this time I was not in the best of humor myself, and began to feel that the Doctor was getting the best of me.
My first thought was to hitch up and drive home, leaving him in the lurch. But while considering the matter, my opportunity came; and I was not slow to take advantage of it.
During the progress of the dance, when "Gents to the right and balance" was called, the Doctor left his cross-eyed partner to make the round of the set. I rushed up to her immediately and said as quickly as possible:
"My dear Miss, you must not dance the Doctor so hard. He has fits, and is liable to fall over in one at any moment. Why, in driving along in a carriage he is liable to drop right out in the middle of the road, leaving the horse to go to destruction."
"Thank you, thank you," she said.
I then stepped back to await results.
While talking with her, I noticed the Doctor eying me with suspicion, but my interview was so very short that he appeared relieved on my leaving her.
By this time he came balancing around, with his plug hat on the back of his head, his spectacles hanging over his nose, and grasping his gold-headed cane about the center with his left hand, and still retaining in his right hand a soiled napkin which he had brought from the table and mistaken for his handkerchief, he came balancing up to his partner with a regular Highland-fling step, a most fascinating and bewitching smile on his countenance, and looked her straight in the face.
She looked completely dumbfounded, seemed to have instantly lost interest in all worldly affairs, and stood stock still, staring cross-eyed at the Doctor, as if expecting to see him frothing and foaming at the mouth.
He then seized her about the waist, fairly lifting her from the floor; after swinging her two or three times around, again stood her up where he found her, when he seemed to suddenly comprehend that something was wrong, and instantly changed countenance.
The young lady then turned to him and said very reluctantly:
"Doctor, I wish to ask you to excuse me from our engagement this evening."
Suddenly remembering my interview with her, he said:
"What did that —— red-headed hyena say to you? What did he say? What did he say? Tell me; tell me, quick! What did he say? I must know—I must know."
"Oh, nothing much, Doctor."
"I demand to know immediately. Tell me—tell me now."
"Well, Doctor, he says you have fits."
"Fits? fits? What! I have fits? Gracious Heavens! What—when—how—where is he? Where is the infernal red-headed liar? Bring him to me and let me paralyze him."
While saying this he was plunging and spinning around in his usual jumping-jack manner, swinging his cane in one hand and slamming his plug hat on the floor with the other.
The floor-manager stepped up and asked what the matter was. The Doctor shrieked out:
"Good ——! do I look like a man who has fits? Would you think, to look at me, that I ever had fits?"
The floor-manager placed his hands on his shoulders, and said, sympathetically:
"Never mind, Doctor, you are not going to have a fit. Keep cool, Doctor. Keep perfectly quiet. You will soon get over it. Step outside into the cool air, and you will soon get over it."
"Get over what?" said the exasperated man. "You infernal fool, what are you talking about? Do you think I don't know enough to take care of myself?"
About a second later I stepped into an adjoining room, and there met the cross-eyed girl with her things on ready to leave. She said she didn't know how she would get home, as her friends had gone and left her, expecting the Doctor to act as her escort.
I confessed that I was only joking, and we had better fix it up and let the Doctor take her home.
She nearly went into spasms when I suggested it, and said she wouldn't dare ride a rod with such a man.
The Doctor's farmer friend, our host, came to me and said I had better take the young lady home, and let the Doctor remain with them all night, and he would take him to town the next afternoon. This was satisfactory to the young miss, so we immediately slipped away, without consulting the Doctor, or even bidding him good night.
On our way, I asked her if she would be willing to consent to a meeting with the Doctor, or open a correspondence with him. She refused emphatically to do either, despite the fact that I declared the whole thing a joke.
She said his actions at the last were enough to convince her that it was no joking affair. I was anxious to do something in the Doctor's behalf to atone for the injury to his feelings that I was the cause of, but the matter had gone too far.
I certainly had every reason to regret that things had turned out as they had, for the seventeen miles of travel in taking the girl home and returning to town proved too much for the old nag, and I did not reach my hotel until after nine o'clock that morning. I was at a loss to know how to fix things with the Doctor so as to make matters smooth, and have him cherish no hard feelings.
I had decided that my moustache was a failure, and had concluded to have it cut off. A plan came into my mind by which I felt certain I could manage to please the Doctor so well as to be able to bring about a feeling of harmony.
I arranged with my clerk that when we saw the Doctor coming I would lean back in one of the office chairs, apparently asleep, and when he came in the clerk should pick up a pair of shears from the window-sill and suggest that he (the Doctor) should clip one side of my moustache off, and let me run around during the evening a laughing-stock to every one.
It worked to a charm. The Doctor jumped at the chance, and cut one side close to my lip, after which I was routed up, and was received by him with much coolness.
The clerk had posted every one to say nothing to me; and as I appeared as ridiculous as possible, and everybody laughed heartily, the Doctor felt that he had perpetrated a huge joke on me.
He was more than pleased when I happened to glance in the mirror, and discovered my predicament, as he was sitting in the office.
The cross-eyed girl was not referred to for several days; and when I did mention her, the Doctor changed color, and immediately became dejected. Everything moved along smoothly for several days thereafter.
The Doctor, as before stated, was very fond of pie and coffee, especially apple pie, and generally preferred them the first thing before his regular meal, instead of waiting to have them served as a dessert.
Becoming dissatisfied with my dining-room and kitchen help, I had discharged them and hired an entire new force. When giving them instructions I gave the dining-room girls a description of the Doctor, and pointed out the seat he usually occupied; and cautioned them in particular not under any circumstances to give him pie or coffee.
They seemed curious to know the reason, and I explained that he was crazy, and the very moment he drank a swallow of coffee or ate a mouthful of pie he became raving at once, and would be liable to murder the whole lot of them; and the doctors had given strict orders never to let him have either.
That day we had apple pie for dinner, and I managed to have one of the boarders, who always sat at the same table with the Doctor, get into the dining room a little ahead of him, and to have some apple pie and a cup of coffee by his plate. The Doctor entered as usual, and after looking over the table, said:
"Bring me some apple pie and coffee."
"We have no pie or coffee, Doctor," was the girl's weak and trembling reply.
"Do you claim you have none at all?" was his quick inquiry.
"None at all, Doctor," she answered.
"And haven't you had any for dinner?" was his next question.
"No, sir," she replied.
"The d——l you say! What's that over there?" he asked, pointing to his neighbor's plate. The girl stammered a moment, and said:
"Doctor, we are instructed not to give you pie or coffee."
"Who the d——l gave you such instructions?" demanded he.
"Well," said she, evidently wishing not to compromise me, "the doctor says you mustn't have either."
"Great ——! what doctor said so? Who told you the doctor said so? Why did he say I should not have pie or coffee?" he shouted.
"Because he says you are crazy," she hesitatingly answered.
"Great Heavens! girl; it's you that's crazy!" and slamming his fist on the table, and jumping to his feet, he demanded an explanation instantly.
The girl ran to the kitchen, and the Doctor after her. The rest fled for their lives, screaming at the top of their voices and scattering in all directions. Some ran into the yard, some up stairs, and the poor frightened girl who had attempted to take his order took refuge in the cellar, the Doctor after her, yelling at the top of his voice, still demanding an explanation. He barricaded the cellar-way by swinging his cane and banging it against a tin wash-boiler near the entrance, and declared that the girl never should see daylight again unless she revealed the source of her information.
It was now about one o'clock, and the landlady had arrived on the noon train; and, after locating her newly painted hotel, came in just in time to catch us in the heat of the excitement, and the Doctor in the cellar in the midst of his controversy.
She demanded an explanation, and became very nervous when the cook excitedly told her that the Doctor had gone raving crazy, and had driven one of the girls down cellar.
She asked me why I didn't go down after him. I told her I didn't dare to.
Directly he came stamping up the stairs, swearing at the top of his voice, and said he just expected it was the work of that cussed red-headed d——l.
As he emerged from the cellar-way, with his wild defiant look and an oath on his lips, and saw the landlady standing in the doorway, he looked the picture of despair.
He faltered for a moment, during which time there was another general stampede. I was the first to start on the run, with the old lady following after, leaving the Doctor by himself. He tried to find some one to listen to him, but the moment he would venture near any one about the house, they would fly away at lightning speed.
The landlady asked how long he had been so and suggested calling a physician, or having him sent to an asylum.
After the matter had gone as far as I thought it should, and farther than I had any idea it ever would go, I began to explain that it was only a joke. But again the thing had gone too far. My dining-room girls immediately quit work, declaring that I couldn't fool them, as they had seen enough.
With considerable difficulty I satisfied the landlady that it was only a joke.
It then became necessary to satisfy her that the extensive improvements on the house had been a good investment. While up stairs showing her the changes I had made, I noticed the Doctor's door was opened, and that he was inside.
Suddenly we came to a room directly opposite his, which I had had papered and re-furnished, and she remarked that it suited her exactly, and that it showed good taste. I said, in a loud tone:
"Well, landlady, the Doctor suggested this, and I have depended largely on his taste and judgment."
We then stepped to the Doctor's door, and were invited in. She aided me as much as possible in keeping up a conversation, and complimented the Doctor on his exquisite taste.
He was immensely pleased, and after she left I remained with him a few moments.
He jumped up and closed the door, and was about to give me a tongue-lashing, when I anticipated him by saying:
"Doctor, don't it beat thunder about that girl? Great Heavens! Had I known she was just out of the Asylum I never would have hired her. And isn't it strange that she twits every one else of being crazy? I wouldn't have her around ten days for the price of the hotel. But you will not be bothered any more, Doctor, for she is gone."
He gave me a very searching look, and said:
"Johnston, was it she or I that was considered crazy?"
"Well Doctor, I understand that she was crazy and you followed her down cellar to prevent her from committing suicide. At least that is the way the matter has been represented to the landlady and me."
"Well, I understood," said he seeming much relieved, "that they considered me crazy."
"O, my! Doctor! the landlady considers you one of the bravest and most courageous men she ever saw, to follow a raving maniac down cellar the way you did."
He said he was really surprised to learn that such was the case, as he had gotten quite a different idea.
A few days later my wife and boy arrived, as I had sent for them some days before.
The Doctor and I sold off our personal property and things moved on very harmoniously.
One day a lady called to consult him professionally and paid him five dollars in cash. This gave him renewed courage and he declared his intention of locating there permanently, as he not only believed it to be a good point, but he was rapidly becoming known and could very soon establish himself in a lucrative practice.
The business of the hotel increased, and to the landlady's astonishment, was making money. She could not understand how it had cleared so much, till I explained to her that I had raised the rates from one dollar to one dollar fifty and two dollars per day. She became much frightened and declared I would ruin her business.
I declared it would be run on those terms, or not at all if I run it. She became reconciled, and in a few weeks found a responsible party who paid her a good rental for the house and furniture, and leased it for a term of years.
CHAPTER XXII.
OUT OF A POSITION—MOVED TO ANN ARBOR—HOW I MADE A RAISE—A RETURN TO FURNITURE POLISH—SELLING EXPERIENCE—HAULING COKE—MY SUMMER CLOTHES IN A SNOW-STORM—A GLOOMY CHRISTMAS—AN ATTACK OF BILIOUS FEVER—ESTABLISHING AN ENFORCED CREDIT—THE PHOTOGRAPH I SENT MY MOTHER—ENGAGED AS AN AUCTIONEER AT TOLEDO, OHIO—MY FIRST SALE.
The leasing of the hotel by the landlady threw me out of a position, and at a time when cold weather had set in, and I had spent all the money I had received for the horses, besides the salary I had drawn, in clothing my wife and boy comfortably. I had intended to provide myself with winter clothing with my next month's salary, but the change came too suddenly for me. Consequently I was left with my summer clothes, and a dozen bottles of Furniture and Piano Polish as stock in trade.
As soon as I saw there was going to be a change in the hotel, I wrote to an old lady in Ann Arbor, whose name was given me by a medical student, making inquiries about furnished rooms for light housekeeping.
She wrote in reply that she could rent me one room suitable for that purpose, at one dollar per week. We decided to go there, as we could not procure furnished rooms in Pontiac for light housekeeping, besides I considered Ann Arbor a good town to operate in.
I had just money enough to pay our traveling expenses, and explained to my wife we had better leave on the morning train, which would get us into Ann Arbor at two o'clock in the afternoon. And as that day would be Saturday, I could "hus'le" out and sell polish enough to pay our rent and buy provisions for over Sunday.
She agreed with me and we started accordingly. But our train was belated by a freight train being ditched, so we did not reach our destination till six o'clock that night without a single cent in our pockets.
The night was dark and gloomy and the snow flying, while I hus'led around in my low-cut shoes, high-water pants, summer ulster and a straw hat. We walked nearly all over the town, following directions given by first one fool and then another, lugging the boy and our baggage, searching for Mrs. Hogan, corner of Second and Ann streets. At last we reached the place and I introduced myself as the one who had engaged a room of her by letter. After explaining to the old lady that we had just arrived from Pontiac, she looked us over carefully and remarked:
"You didn't walk did you?"
I replied that we had come part of the way on the cars, and then I told her of our march around town.
I noticed at once that she was anxious about her rent, as we had taken possession. So I said to my wife:
"Well I must go out instantly to find those parties, or I wont be able to see them till Monday. I will be back just as soon as I possibly can, so you must not worry. Mrs. Hogan will you direct me to a wood yard?"
"Never mind the wood Mr. Johnston. It will be impossible to get a load delivered to-night. I will let you have enough to last over Sunday."
We thanked her and she left the room.
Then my wife said she had often told her parents that she was sure of three meals a day as long as I lived, but she guessed I was cornered for once in my life.
"But," said I "if it were only one meal that we were liable to miss it would not be so terrible, but here it is late Saturday and if I can't raise enough for supper, I certainly can't for over Sunday. But this is what the preacher termed a 'wood-chuck case' and something must be done at once."
She didn't understand what the wood-chuck case meant, till I told her that it simply meant we were "out of meat."
I picked up my little valise, containing twelve bottles of Furniture Polish and started out. I walked down town, not knowing what to do. The snow was flying through my straw hat and the wind whistling around me at a terrible rate as I stood on the corner wondering where to go next. I looked up street and saw a meat market to which I was naturally attracted. Although the gentleman in attendance was very busy, I rushed in with:
"How are you this evening sir? I am glad to find you when you have time to look at my wonderful preparation for renovating furniture, I'll show you how nicely it operates right here on your desk."
Then as I began polishing it up, I rattled on at lightning speed, explaining how perfectly dry it would become in less than a minute from the time it was applied leaving no chance for dust or dirt to settle and stick upon the furniture it was not in the least sticky or gummy to the fingers giving no displeasure in using a cloth—any lady could apply it and easily renovate her own furniture it would remove all fly specks from picture frames and brackets as well as stained furniture caused by hot dishes hot water cologne camphor or medicine and——
"And for goodness sake, what else?" cried he. "Will it make you stop talking if I'll take a bottle?"
"Yes sir, I always stop then."
"How much is it a bottle?" he asked.
"One dollar, and I want but fifty cents in cash and the balance in steak."
He was about to say he would take it, when he asked who in thunder I was, anyhow, and if I had ever patronized him, and stated that he didn't remember ever seeing me before.
I now realized that the moment had arrived when to decide the meat question. I had got to be equal to the occasion. Looking up at him, I confidently said:
"Well, for Heaven's sake! Don't you remember my little red-headed brother that comes in here after meat every day?"
"Oh, yes, that little hair-lipped cuss," said he. I laughed, said:
"Well, he isn't a bad sort of a lad, when you get acquainted with him."
He then cut off four pounds of steak and gave me, with fifty cents cash, and I departed in much better spirits than when I called. I then made a bee-line for the nearest grocery store; and although I found the proprietor very busy I managed to get his attention, and after showing him my preparation on one of his show-cases, succeeded in selling him a bottle for one dollar.
I offered to take it in groceries, but he said he preferred to pay cash, and let me do the same when I patronized him. I invested seventy-five cents in potatoes, coffee, sugar, etc., and then started for a bakery, where I came in contact with a lady. She fought me very hard, but I needed bread, and worked like a trooper to get it without parting with the few shillings I had. I at last succeeded in getting her so far interested as to ask the price.
Realizing that her intuitive quickness and shrewdness surpassed that of my two gentlemen patrons, and that she evinced but little interest, anyhow, I reduced the price to fifty cents, and offered to take half in trade and the balance in cash. This she agreed to, and I very soon departed with my arms full of provisions, and one dollar in cash.
I then visited Tremain's drug store, and ordered more Polish put up, to be ready the following Monday.
I went directly home, more pleased with my success than anything I had ever before accomplished. Nor can I now remember of ever succeeding in anything since, that gave me more satisfaction. As I entered the room, about nine o'clock, with my arms loaded with packages, my wife sang out:
"Little late, but still in the ring."
With grim irony I replied: "And the villain still pursued her."
However, I appreciated the joke as much as she did; and we were but a few moments in preparing a meal that each pronounced the best we had ever partaken of.
Our landlady looked in upon us again that night, when I handed her the dollar due for rent, saying as I did so, that I might as well pay it then as to wait till Monday.
We felt quite comfortable, and congratulated ourselves on our success in pulling through, and making such a narrow escape.
My wife's faith in the three-meals-a-day theory was strengthened more than ever after this; and I felt myself that I had come about as near missing a meal as I would probably ever again experience.
When Monday morning came I was ready for business with my nine bottles of Polish.
The first house I visited was a large stone front, showing the owner to be a man of wealth. I noticed the front window blinds were closed, and as it was Monday morning I concluded that the lady of the house would likely be found at the side door, or possibly overseeing in the laundry. The latter I found to be the case, and when I rang the bell she answered it herself. Upon seeing me with my valise, she slammed the door in my face, and I heard the bolt shove, as though expecting me to attempt to break in.
This exasperated me more than the rebuff, and I could feel my hair standing straight up almost piercing my straw hat. I started around toward the front of the house, expecting to try the next neighbor. When I neared the front steps, I was seized with a determination to either get into that house or make the old lady some trouble for her impudence. So I ran up and pulled the bell vigorously several times. Directly I heard the doors opening and closing and a general rustling about through the rooms, when suddenly the front door opened just far enough to admit me and I landed in the hall-way with a single bound. The lady recognized me and said:
"Here you are again."
"Yes'm here I am and I am here to convince you that I am no house-burglar nor highway robber I am here with a valuable article which you can not afford to be without nor can any other housekeeper and were I to leave without showing it you would always pride yourself on getting rid of one impostor I must insist on showing you the value of my preparation which I can do on the hat-tree here in the hall."
I then began polishing, and kept up a ceaseless run of talk, much to the disgust of her highness, who insisted that all peddlers and agents were tramps, virtually speaking. I managed however, to do most of the talking and at last convinced her from its rapid drying qualities that it was almost indispensable. I then closed a sale with her, and as she had been so very courteous and complimentary in her opinion of agents and peddlers, I let her have two bottles for three dollars.
The third house I visited was that of a middle-aged gentleman who, after purchasing a bottle of my renovator, expressed a desire to become an agent for its sale. I informed him that I was sole proprietor and could give him a very good chance. He asked what I would take for Washtenaw County, Michigan. I saw at once that he was anxious to invest in territory, and as my preparation was not patented, I decided to accommodate him by letting him have the exclusive sale of it in that county for a reasonable consideration. I proposed to let him have the agency for that county for fifty dollars. The idea pleased him, but he thought the price rather high. He had raised a very fine garden and had a nice lot of vegetables in his cellar, which he showed me with a good deal of pride. While looking them over I took a careful inventory of every thing and became satisfied that he had enough stowed away for two families, and as soon as we returned from the cellar I began negotiating for a portion of each kind. His wife as well as himself was elated with the prospect of trading some of the products of their garden for a good paying business, and in less than an hour I closed a deal, immediately ordered a team and after loading up with potatoes, beets, turnips, apples, cabbage, etc., and receiving ten dollars in cash drove home with vegetables enough to last us several weeks.
I gave the gentleman a written agreement that he could have the exclusive sale for the polish in the said County. After the trade was made he asked me where he was going to get the polish, and wanted me to give him the recipe for making it. This I refused to do but explained that I could furnish it to him at a certain price per dozen. He then wanted to know if I had any other agents traveling. I told him I had not.
He then asked if I cared if he sold in other Counties. I answered him that I did not.
"Well," he next asked, "what in Heaven's name have I been paying you for, any how?"
"Experience," I answered.
He became excited, and said he didn't need experience.
I told him I thought he did, and that I considered the price very low for the amount I had let him have.
After chaffing him a few moments and getting him exceedingly nervous, I gave him the recipe with full instructions in the manner of making sales. This pleased him, and he began preparations for canvassing outside of town.
I then visited a wood-yard with a view to purchasing a load, but found it would cost about as much for a cord of wood in Ann Arbor as it would for a farm in Dakota. I then inquired of the proprietor how other poor devils managed to keep warm in the town.
I was told that many of them used coke at ten cents per bushel, procured at the gas works.
My landlady informed me that she could furnish us with a stove (in place of the one we were using) that would burn coke. I consented to allow her to make the exchange, and borrowing a wheel-barrow started for the gas factory where I bought a bushel.
When I returned the new stove was ready and I began starting a fire. It took about two hours time and the whole bushel of coke to start it, and I was obliged to "hus'le" back after another load forthwith. We were successful in getting a good fire started, but very soon discovered that it required a full bushel of coke at a time in the fire-box to keep it up, even during moderate weather.
We were quite well satisfied, however, for several days, or until the extreme cold weather set in, when by being obliged to open the drafts of our stove to get sufficient heat, we discovered it took about two bushels at a time constantly in the stove to keep it running, and to my disgust I found at such times that the old stove would burn about a bushel a minute. Thus I had the poor satisfaction of seeing my money float up the chimney at the rate of about ten cents a minute. I didn't even have the satisfaction of enjoying this expensive luxury, as I was compelled to divide my time between hauling coke with the old wheel-barrow and "hus'ling" out with the polish to raise money to pay for it and our provisions. However I was not a continual sufferer from cold, although still wearing my summer clothes, as this constant "hus'ling" kept me in a sultry condition both mentally and physically.
Time passed on bringing very little change to my straitened circumstances. I was illy prepared to withstand the severity of a Michigan winter. I had no hose except half worn cotton ones, no warm underwear or over-shoes which I sorely needed in my endless tramping from house to house, and no overcoat until February. The only articles of winter apparel I had were a pair of woolen mittens and a pair of ear mufflers, both of which I got from an old lady in exchange for furniture polish, and which will be seen illustrated in the photograph I sent to my mother while in this sorry condition.
It was the night before Christmas, and the contents of my pocket-book were meager indeed. Pedestrians were hurrying to and fro, arms and pockets filled with packages to gladden the hearts of the loved ones at home. My naturally buoyant spirits fell to zero as I thought of my wife and baby boy and realized that I had nothing for them with which to make merry on the morrow.
I turned my steps homeward well-nigh disheartened. My sales had been slow that day owing to the universal purchasing of holiday goods and the scarcity of money left in the family purse. However, I suddenly determined to make one more effort, and see what might be my success in effecting another sale before going home. I therefore called at a spacious stone front mansion, was admitted by the servant and ushered into the handsomely furnished parlor to await the coming of the mistress.
It was a home of luxury, evidenced by the rich carpets, elegant pieces of furniture, paintings of well-known artists and beautiful bric-a-brac in an expensive cabinet.
There was no biting chill from Jack Frost in this home. In the short time I sat there I wondered if the occupants appreciated the good things around them. How could they, if they had never known hunger and cold and discomfort?
These queries kept entering my mind:
"Will such furniture as this ever be mine? Will I ever be the owner of a stove as nice as that base-burner? Will carpets as luxurious as these ever belong to me? Will I ever be able to dress comfortably and genteelly?"
It would be a very difficult matter to describe to the reader my thoughts on that occasion. (I will add that I made a sale.)
In these later years when my income has been sufficient to warrant me in buying any thing I desire for personal comfort, I often think of the cheerless experiences of that winter. And I can truthfully say that my heart goes out to the homeless and destitute, and I am always willing to extend a helping hand to those who show a willingness to help themselves.
That was a long winter, take it all in all; but we managed to get three meals a day, notwithstanding I had an attack of bilious fever which made matters look very gloomy.
For several years I had never failed to have one of these attacks in the winter.
Realizing what to expect when the usual symptoms—chills—began to overpower me, I decided at once to make some sort of provision for my family.
I called at a butcher shop, and after ordering twenty pounds of beef-steak and getting it in my possession I asked the butcher to charge it. He said he didn't care to do business in that way. I told him I didn't care to either but——
"But," he interrupted "I don't have to do business that way."
"Well sir, I do. So you see that's the difference between you and me, and as possession is about ten points of law I guess you will do better and will no doubt get your pay more quickly if you will quietly submit to my proposition."
I then explained to him my circumstances.
He asked why I didn't explain in the first place.
I replied "because I needed the meat."
Then he asked my name and said he hoped I would be honest with him.
I next called at a grocery and gave quite an extensive order to be delivered at our room.
In about an hour the groceries and a sack of flour were brought to the door. I ordered them inside, and then the bill was presented. I folded it and put it my pocket, saying:
"Just tell Mr. —— to charge this."
"All right sir," the boy replied and drove off.
In less than twenty minutes the proprietor came rushing down fairly frothing at the mouth, and in a high state of exasperation rapped at the door, and when admitted asked excitedly what in thunder I meant.
I coolly explained that we simply meant to try and exist another day or two if buckwheat flour and coffee and sugar would keep us alive.
He said I couldn't live on his flour and coffee.
I politely informed him that I had no use for his, as I had plenty of my own just then.
"Well, why in thunder did you come and 'stand me off' in this way if you had plenty of your own?"
"But my dear sir, I had none of my own before I called on you."
"The devil you hadn't. And do you claim sir, that you own the things just delivered from my store?"
"Of course I do, but I don't deny that I owe you, and am willing to confess judgment if you wish me to do so."
After he had cooled off a little I stated my condition, when he too asked why I didn't explain in the beginning.
I answered that I had been on earth too long to take any such chances.
I had a siege of about ten days' sickness, after which I "hus'led" out, and by extra exertion managed to accumulate money enough to pay up my grocery and butcher bills. This greatly pleased the proprietors, and proved the means of making them my best friends, and just such as might come very convenient to have, in case of absolute necessity.
During my several months' absence from home my correspondence with my mother had been more limited than usual. I felt that during my entire career I had never shown a disposition to loaf or to sponge my living. While I had frequently been assisted, I had kept a strict account of every dollar, and had regarded it, in each instance, as a business loan, expecting to pay it back some day; and had never asked for assistance except when I actually needed it. It was impossible at that time for me to understand my mother's policy in abruptly refusing me aid, when I felt that she was at least able to assist me a little.
At any rate, I was immensely "red-headed" all the time, and declared that I would fight it out on that line, if I had to wear my summer clothes all winter. I had declared that I would never return home till I was comfortably well fixed, or at least in a fair way to prosper. How well I kept my word will be seen farther on.
I remember during that siege, a coal and wood-dealer offered me a position in his office at fifteen dollars per week, which I declined with thanks, explaining that I had started out in life to "hus'le," and try and accomplish something of my own accord; and to go to work in a stupid, quiet business on a salary, at that late day, would be a disgrace to the profession. He argued that I would be sure of a comfortable living, anyhow. I agreed with him, but declared that I would never be sure of anything beyond that; and I would rather live from hand to mouth till such time as I could better my condition and possibly make money rapidly.
I felt that to settle down on a salary in such a business would be the means of falling into a certain rut, from which it would be hard to extricate myself. And I have thus far never had occasion to regret having taken that position.
About this time I received a letter from my mother anxiously inquiring what business I had engaged in after quitting the hotel, and if we were all comfortably fixed for the winter.
She closed by saying that as she had no picture of me since I was eighteen years of age she wished I would have my photograph taken and sent to her.
