DOMESTIX RECEIPTS.
Tew find the square root ov a hog's noze, turn him into a gardin patch.
Tew enjoy a good reputashun, giv publickly, and steal privately.
Tew remove grease from a man's karakter, let him strike sum sudden ile.
Tew giv oysters an extra good relish, eat them at sumboddy else's expense.
Tew git wrong things out ov yure child's head,—comb it often.
I never argy agin a suckcess, when i see a rattlesnaixs hed sticking out ov a whole, i bear off to the left, and say to miself—that hole belongs to that snaix.=
Josh Billings
Cider may be a good temprance beverage, but i hav seen folks git so drunk on it, that they couldn't tell one ov the 10 commandments from a bye law or a base bawl klub.=
Josh Billings
Q.–What iz an old bachelor?
A.–The hero ov a cot bedstead.
He who bi farmin would git ritch,
Must plough, and so, and dig, and sich,
Work hard all day, sleep hard all nite,
Save every cent, and not git tite.
FEBUARY MONOGRAPH.
This month haz but 28 days, the extreme kold weather that prevails haz puckered up the month. Once in four years thare iz a big melt and then the month swells, and haz 29 days. This month iz looked upon az unpleasant, and it iz unpleasant for digging out woodchucks, but for setting in front of the fire, and skinning apples, and snapping the seeds at the galls, it kant be beat. The name ov this month is derived from an old Chinese word (now lost) which means condem kold.