RULES, BY-LAWS, AND REGULASHUNS.
1. Conduktors are positively forbid trieing tew pass each other on a single track.
2. Passengers are warned ov the great danger ov standing on the platforms,—menny a promising man haz lost hiz life by having a platform drop from under him.
3. Positively no droves ov cattle or swine allowed on this road unless they are travelling the same direckshun the trains are.
4. Engineers are earnestly requested tew keep their cow ketchers well greased, and will bear in mind that when a cow iz ketched the hide belongs tew them; but the beef and tallo iz tew be sent immejiately tew the president of the road.
5. Enny switchman running a train oph from the trak will be find 10 dollars, and interest on the fine at the rate of 4 per cent per annum untill the fine iz paid.
6. No konduktor iz invited tew remain on this road 10 minnits who hasn't heard ov the 10 commandments, espeshily the one which sez "thou shalt not spondulick thyself with the dimes ov another."
7. No charges made on this road for coroners' inquests.