THE GOSLIN.
The goslin iz the old goose’s yung child. They are yeller all over, and az soft az a ball ov worsted. Their foot iz wove whole, and they kan swim az eazy az a drop of kaster oil on the water.
They are born annually about the 15th ov May, and never waz known tew die natually.
If a man should tell me he had saw a goose die a natral and square deth, I wouldn’t believe him under oath after that, not even if he swore he had lied about seeing a goose die.
The goose are different in one respekt from the human family, who are sed tew grow weaker but wizer; whereaz a goslin alwus grows tuffer and more phoolish.
I hav seen a goose that they sed waz 93 years old last June, and he didn’t look an hour older than one that waz 17.
The goslin waddles when he walks, and paddles when he swims, but never dives, like a duk, out ov sight in the water, but only changes ends.
The food ov the goslin iz rye, corn, oats, and barley, sweet apples, hasty pudding, and biled kabbage, cooked potatoze, raw meat, and turnips, stale bred, kold hash, and the buckwheat kakes that are left over.
They ain’t so partiklar az sum pholks what they eat, and won’t git mad and quit if they kan’t hav wet toast and lam chops every morning for breakfast.
If i waz a going tew keep boarders, i wouldn’t want enny better feeders than an old she goose and 12 goslins. If i kouldn’t suit them i should konklude i had mistaken mi kalling.
Roast goslin iz good nourishment, if you kan git enuff ov it, but thare aint much waste meat on a goslin, after yu hav got rid ov their feathers, and dug them out inside.
I hav alwus notissd, when yu pass yure plate up for sum more baked goslin, at a hotel, the colored brother cums bak empty with plate, and tells yu, “Mister, the roast goslin iz no more.”