THE GRUB.
The grub iz all the fashionabel kullers except checkered, i never have saw a checkered grub so far.
I would giv ten cents tew see a checkered grub.
The grub (that i am talking about) boards in old rotten logs, and dekayed stumps, and grubs for a living.
They are about one intch in size, and are bilt like a skrew.
They look for all the world like a short strip ov phatt pork.
They enter rotten wood, like an intch skrew, pursewed bi a skrew-driver.
They are very mutch retired in their habits, and are az free from anger az a tudstool.
Sum pholks kant see enny munny in a grub, but i kan.
I hav chopt them out ov an old stump, the further end ov April, and then put them onto a hook, and krept down behind a bunch of willows, in the meadow, and dropt them, kind a natral, into the swift water, and in less than forty seckonds hav jerked out ov the silvery flood twelve ounces ov trout, and while he turned purple, and gold summersetts on the grass, i hav had mi harte swell up in me, like a halleluyer.
I had rather ketch a trout in this way than tew be president ov the United States for the same length ov time.
VERMIN.
Thare may not be az mutch ambishun in it, but thare iz a glory in it, az krazy, and az safe, az soda water.
It don’t take mutch tew make me happy, but it will take more munny than enny man on this futtstool, haz got, tew buy out the little stock I alwuss keep on hand.