THE PRECISE MAN.
The precise man weighs just 16 ounces tew the pounds, and meazzures just 36 inches tew the yard.
He iz more partiklar about being just so, then he iz about being right.
Hiz blunders, if he ever makes enny, are all kronik, and kant be kured.
He iz most alwus what we kall a virtewous man at heart, but thare iz no logik kan make him alter hiz mind.
He iz az exact in hiz way az a kompass.
He knows the year, the month, the day ov the week, and sumtimes the very hour that enny important event took place.
He kan tell yu the exact age ov every old maid in the naborhood, and kan rekollekt distinkly ov hearing hiz grate-grandfather tell what sort ov a kloud it waz that the lightning cum out ov that struck the steeple ov the Presbeterian church, and knoked the weathercock on it into the shape ov a cocked hat.
The precise man iz a mere bundle ov fakts, figures, and trifling incidents, which are ov the utmost importance tew him, but not ov mutch use tew ennyboddy else.
He iz just about az mutch consequentz whare he livs az a last year’s Farmers’ Allminax.
He is az set in hiz ways az an old goose trieing tew hatch out a glass egg.