THE RAT TARRIER.
Theze dear little pets ov the dog perswashun are natiffs ov the ile ov Grate Brittain.
They are born there with grate precision and purity ov karakter, hav a pedigree az klean az the queen’s, and as free from spots az a nu tin dipper.
A rat tarrier who could ketch 97 rats a day, with a rust on his pedigree, ain’t worth only haff az mutch in market az one with a pure set ov ansestors, who couldn’t ketch only 43 rats.
It iz hard work for a kussed phool tew see this, but it takes edukashun tew see theze things.
A man without edukashun kan stand out doors in a klear night and count the moon, and he won’t see enny thing but a grate chunk ov light sumthing bigger than a kartwheel.
But you let an edukated man stan out there by his side, and he kan see turnpikes, and toll gates, and torch-lite proceshuns, 100 and wimmin’s rites convenshuns, and municipal rings, and koporashun thieving in it.
Edukashun iz bully.
The rat tarrier iz not so mutch dog, az a personal matter, az the Nufoundland iz, but he haz more grit to the square inch.
Just so the hornet haz got more sting tew them than a shanghi pullet haz, and an angleworm haz more grit in them than an hanakonda haz. Natur bosses these jobs, and natur never underlets a kontract. There is one thing I alwus did like natur for, she don’t take the trouble tew explain. She don’t object tew persons asking questions, and guessing at things, but if enny boddy asks her whi a frog kan jump further at one highst than a tud kan, she tells the phellow (if she tells him ennything) never tew bet on the tud, unless he wants tew looze his munny.
I never hav had the happiness yet to own a rat tarrier even, in fakt i hav allus been poor, and haven’t been beforehanded enuff yet tew own a dog.
I mean sum time tew hav a rat tarrier, and then I suppoze, to enjoy myself, I shall have tew git sum rats. This iz the way with all the luxurys ov life, one luxury makes another one necessary. Thar iz one thing certain, if i ever do own a Nufoundland, or rat tarrier, they hav got tew be thorobred. I must kno all ov their relashuns, inkluding their mother-in-law, and if thare iz a blot on thur reputashun, as big as a fli spek, the dog wont sute me.
I must hav the pedigree all rite, if the dog aint wuth a kuss.