Twentieth Century Culture and Deportment / Or the Lady and Gentleman at Home and Abroad; Containing Rules of Etiquette for All Occasions, Including Calls; Invitations; Parties; Weddings; Receptions; Dinners and Teas; Etiquette of the Street; Public Places, Etc., Etc. Forming a Complete Guide to Self-Culture; the Art of Dressing Well; Conversation; Courtship; Etiquette for Children; Letter-Writing; Artistic Home and Interior Decorations, Etc.

by Maud C. Cooke

Letters of Congratulation

should be sent immediately upon the occurrence of the fortunate event that calls forth congratulatory wishes; they should be brief, gracefully worded and contain no mention of other matter. The occasions in life that call forth such missives are numerous: birthdays, engagements, marriages, anniversaries, business successes, etc., each, or all, should win some congratulatory notice. The formal congratulation is in set terms, usually written in the third person, and may be used between individuals but slightly acquainted; for example:

Mr. and Mrs. Stuart congratulate Mr. and Mrs. Fielding upon the successful conclusion of Mr. Harold Fielding’s college course and express the pleasure with which they listened to the delivery of his eloquent oration on Commencement Day.

81 St. Caroline’s Court, July 1, 189—.

This, in common with all congratulatory letters, should be replied to at once, and, wherever any missive is written in the third person, the reply must follow the same fashion. An appropriate answer for the above form would be:

Mr. and Mrs. Fielding unite in sending thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Stuart for kindly praise awarded their son Harold on the late important event in his life, and also for the exquisite flowers they sent to grace the occasion.

891 Michigan Avenue, July 2, 189—.

A friendly congratulation in the first person is less stately, as, for instance, one friend might congratulate another upon his marriage:

Georgetown, D. C., January 10, 189—.

Dear Jack:

“And so they were married and lived happy ever after,” of course. At least, that is what you and Mrs. Julia anticipate at this present time, and is what I, knowing you both, do confidently predict. Accept my heartfelt congratulations, and believe me

Your true friend,
Richard Doe.

To John Myers, Esq.,
Yankton, Da.

Answer to the foregoing might be:

Yankton, Da., January 20, 189—.

Dear Dick:

Julia and I received your congratulations with pleasure, my only regret being that I cannot return them in kind.

“Gather roses while ye may,

Old Time’s a-flying.”

A word to the wise, etc., and let me speedly have occasion to felicitate you in like manner.

Your friend and well-wisher,
John Myers.

Mr. Richard Doe,
Georgetown, D. C.

It should be mentioned here that while one congratulates a gentleman upon his engagement, or marriage, and may congratulate his parents upon the same occasion, it is inadmissible to congratulate a lady on a similar event, or to extend the congratulations to her parents. Well-bred mothers have been known to resent this solecism keenly. You may, and indeed are expected to, offer to her, and her parents, all manner of good wishes for future happiness, but be sure not to congratulate.

Almost any success, or pleasant happiness in life, may be made the subject of a congratulatory letter, but a multiplicity of forms is unnecessary here.