Twentieth Century Culture and Deportment / Or the Lady and Gentleman at Home and Abroad; Containing Rules of Etiquette for All Occasions, Including Calls; Invitations; Parties; Weddings; Receptions; Dinners and Teas; Etiquette of the Street; Public Places, Etc., Etc. Forming a Complete Guide to Self-Culture; the Art of Dressing Well; Conversation; Courtship; Etiquette for Children; Letter-Writing; Artistic Home and Interior Decorations, Etc.

by Maud C. Cooke

The Proper Salutation.

Nearer degrees of intimacy, of course, formulate their own laws in this regard, but even here, be it said, that discretion may be exercised to advantage. It will also be observed that if the word “dear,” or any like term, begins the salutation it is capitalized; otherwise, not. Thus: “My dear Friend;” not “My Dear Friend.” Authorities on etiquette differ somewhat on this score, different works in the author’s possession taking exactly opposite sides, the weight of evidence, however, falling on the form given here.

The complimentary conclusion, “Yours truly,” “Very truly yours,” “Very respectfully,” etc., should begin about the middle of the page on the next line below the body of the letter. The first word only should be capitalized, and the expression followed by a comma. The signature should come on the line below and end at the right-hand margin of the page. The address also is sometimes, especially in social notes given at the conclusion, where it should begin, one or two lines below the signature, at the left-hand margin of the page, occupying two or more lines, according to its length, as:

Dear Miss Lothrop:

In reply to your kind note, I would say, etc.

Cordially yours,
Marion Kent.

2 Arcade Court, Chicago, Ill., October 5, 189—.

Another very formal style would be:

21 Delaware Place, Buffalo, N. Y., June 1, 189—.

Dear Miss Lothrop: In reply to your kind note, etc.

Truly yours,
George Harland.

To Miss Julia Lothrop,

110 Beacon Street, Boston, Mass.

The conclusion of a letter gives the writer fully as much latitude of style as the salutation. Some graceful little phrase should follow the subject-matter of the letter and lead up to the conclusion, thus:

I am, with love to the family, and remembrances to all my friends, Yours cordially,

Mary Roe.

Salutation and conclusion should always correspond in formality or friendliness with one another, thus: Mr. John Bright. Sir: would appropriately conclude with: I am, sir, Respectfully yours, Frank B. Folsom.

A friendly letter beginning: Dear Bright: or, My dear Bright: would terminate thus: Cordially yours, Frank B. Folsom.

Other forms for closing business letters are: I am, respectfully, James Ross. Or, Respectfully, James Ross.

These forms do away with the personal pronoun “Yours,” which, although custom has in reality rendered it a pure formality, still retains a certain meaning in the minds of some, as the man, who, in a long correspondence, with his wife-that-was-to-be, never signed a letter otherwise than “Truly yours.” “What more could I be,” he queried, “than hers truly, body and soul?” and with this feeling could their married life have been other than it was, beautiful to look upon?

Never abbreviate the conclusion to “Yours, etc.;” it has too much the careless, thankless sound of “Thanks,” and neither can be sufficiently condemned.

Letters beginning, My dear Margaret: or, My dear Daughter: might end, respectively: Ever yours, or, Your friend, Jane Brown. And, Your affectionate mother, Gertrude Mason.

A gentleman, writing to a lady, could say: Very sincerely (or respectfully) yours, P. H. Gould. Or, Yours, with sincere regard, Henry Grayson.

The address need not be added unless the acquaintance is very slight. At times a more elaborate closing is desirable and graceful, as when the correspondent is very much higher in station, or older in years, or you have been the recipient of some great favor at his or her hands:

I am, dear madam, with the most profound esteem,

Yours sincerely, James Talbot.

Or, to a gentleman, under like circumstances:

I have the honor to be, sir, Yours most respectfully, James Talbot.

Such closings as “Obedient, humble servant,” are quite too much for Republican simplicity, and even in writing to no less a dignitary than the President:

To the President,
Sir:

Very respectfully,
James Talbot,

really fulfills all requirements, though one may consult his own taste in making use of the two complimentary conclusions given above.

A lady in writing to a stranger should always suggest whether she is married or single. This will prevent mistakes and annoyance, and can be done in two ways. Respectfully, (Miss) Frances Clayton, Or, more elaborately: Respectfully, Frances Clayton. Address, Miss Frances Clayton, 21 St. Caroline’s Court, Chicago.

A lady never signs herself as Mrs. Helen B. Hayes, or Miss Gertrude Vance, without, at least, putting the titles in a parenthesis. Primarily, a woman is Helen Hayes or Gertrude Vance, and should sign herself as such. The “Miss” or “Mrs.” signifies simply an incident in her existence, and is added, as it were, in a note, to prevent mistake on the part of others. A failure to observe this rule indicates a lack of culture. Neither does a gentleman ever sign himself Mr. Brown, but George G. Brown, or G. G. Brown.