Who Was Right
The celebrated Dr. Heim, who was known to be often slightly intoxicated, was called while in that condition, into a family whose regular physician he was.
The gentleman of the house, who was taken with an attack of acute indigestion, and was suffering intense pain, confessed that it might be the result of having eaten too many raw oysters. “Give him Chester cheese, and a good big portion of it,” said Heim, and without another word, walked out.
The patient’s family, who imagined that cheese was more indigestible than oysters, shook their heads over their doctor’s advice, and thinking that in his intoxicated condition he had made a big mistake, gave him rum instead of the cheese. A few hours later the patient died.
The next morning Heim came to look after his patient. He was told that he had died in the night.
“Didn’t you give him the Chester cheese?” asked Heim.
“No, Doctor,—we thought—you were—we gave him rum.”
“So,” Heim cried furiously: “you thought, because I was drunk, you knew more of medicine than I, and in that mad idea killed your patient. But I want you to know, that even if I am drunk, I still know more of medicine, than you do in all your sobriety. Now you send for two dozen oysters at once, and I’ll prove to you that even if I do drink a glass of wine, I know very well what I am talking about.”
The oysters were brought, and at Heim’s order, were divided and placed into two separate dishes. To those in one dish he put several slices of Chester cheese; to the others he poured several glasses of rum. “Now, then,” he said, “you let that stuff stand for a few hours and we’ll see who knew best!”
Growling and scolding—for Heim was as famous for his roughness as for his skill—he went away. When he returned a few hours later and the dishes were uncovered, it was found that the oysters mixed with cheese had dissolved into a foam-like substance, while those soaked in rum were in an unchanged condition.
“Well, who was right?” asked Heim. The unhappy relatives were forced to look upon themselves as the murderers of their beloved dead.