CONTENTS
| PAGE | |
| Introduction | [81] |
| Actions Indoors | [85] |
| (1) Leaving the Room—(2) Walk Indoors—(3) Meeting on Stairs—(4) Hat Indoors—(5) Body-coat Indoors—(6) Overcoat Indoors—(7) Untidy Appearance—(8) Cards—(9) Calling—(10) In Company—(11) Receptions and Teas—(12) Luncheons—(13) Parties—(14) Dinners—(15) Dancing—(16) Balls, Dancing Classes, Theater Parties and Receptions—(17) Bowling—(18) Musicales and Matinée Parties—(19) Amateur Theatricals and Recitations—(20) Breakfasts—(21) Vocal and Instrumental Music | |
| Actions Outdoors | [112] |
| (1) Walking—(2) Promenading—(3) Joining Lady—(4) Paying out Money—(5) Taking Seat in Public Conveyance—(6) Driving—(7) Riding—(8) Sailing | |
| Personal Appearance | [126] |
| (1) Hands—(2) Face—(3) Teeth—(4) Hair—(5) Facial Expressions—(6) Position | |
| Habits | [131] |
| (1) Smoking—(2) Drinking—(3) Chewing—(4) Stretching and Yawning | |
| Conversation | [134] |
| (1) General—(2) Grammar—(3) Laughing—(4) Compliments and Flattery—(5) Small Talk | |
| Correspondence and Invitations | [138] |
| Personal Actions | [146] |
| (1) Escorts—(2) Extravagance—(3) Kissing—(4) Familiarity—(5) Chaperons—(6) Handshaking—(7) Kissing Hand—(8) Gentleman Engaged—(9) Introductions | |
| Proposing | [159] |
| Presents | [165] |
| (1) Flowers—(2) Jewelry—(3) Bon-bons—(4) Photographs | |
| General Politeness | [170] |
| (1) Insults—(2) Embarrassments—(3) Temper | |
| Visiting | [176] |
| (1) Acceptances and Regrets—(2) Duties of Visitor |
INTRODUCTION
Before entering upon my subject, I would first state that this work is unlike former books on manners and etiquette, for it seeks not as in those cases to establish rules, enjoining the reader to be controlled thereby, nor does it define customs and force them upon his knowledge. It merely touches upon usages of sufficiently long standing to constitute customs of society, reviews them before his mind, and classes them as faults if not properly practised, and gives the remedies of those faults. Also it defines customs which are practised too exactly to appear natural, and shows wherein they can be modified. In this work there are no monotonous rules imperatively laid down and the subjects are not tiresomely strained. The most important customs only are described, with their modifying rules; and though the work may say what should be done or omitted, yet it leaves it to the option of the reader whether or not he will perfect his social training by a recognition and due exercise thereof.
To classify the subjects under two general heads, I would first speak of “Appearance.”
There is no necessity for a gentleman to give opportunities for others to criticize his appearance. There is no reason why a gentleman should not at any and all times present a complete and neat attire. Dress, extravagant or plain, can always have such an effect, if care and taste are exercised. If he is in doubt as to his own ability to dress tastefully, then he should submit himself to tuition, or, if he is too proud to disclose his ignorance in the matter, he should take careful notice of the appearance and good taste displayed by others, and endeavor to gain knowledge therefrom. In order to carry out my advice, it is only necessary that a gentleman should either possess or acquire good taste, and refer entirely to styles established by custom, as elucidated in Part 1. of this book.
The second head of customs is “Manner.” For a gentleman should not present a perfect appearance as to dress, and at the same time accompany his good taste with bad or impolite manners. A gentleman should have a thorough knowledge of polite manners as established by custom, such as are defined in this work. I mention only the most important ones, it being immaterial to go into the minor branches of etiquette and manners, as they naturally follow in consequence of a due exercise of the more important ones. It is a very simple matter to cultivate easy and graceful manners, and just as easy to use those manners in a polite and gentlemanly way, no matter how or under what circumstances one may be placed in society.
And now I think my reader is prepared for a perusal of what I would term not a classification of rules, but a kind of outline history of customs as they should be recognized.
