PRESENTS
Under the general head of presents is classed anything given to another at one’s own expense. Give presents to your own family, relatives, fiancée, or very old friends, but not to mere acquaintances.
Section 1. Flowers, though short-lived, are nevertheless the most beautiful gift one person can make to another. It shows taste and a love of nature, and nothing finds more appreciation in the hearts of womankind than flowers. Be careful in your selection; suit the color and quality to the taste and dress of the lady. Have them tastily laid in a box, loosely, if merely as a favor; but if for a dance or entertainment, the best way is to gather the flowers loosely half-way down the stems, and tie with ribbon harmonizing in color, placing at the end of the bouquet a bunch of leaves to hide the stems. Always send the flowers in a box; do not carry them to the lady yourself—if in a hurry, call a messenger. Flowers may be sent to any lady, married or maiden, but never send them as a wedding present. When desirous of sending flowers to a lady with whom you are about to attend an affair, first ascertain whether she desires to wear flowers, and the color of the gown she intends wearing. It is hardly the fashion nowadays to carry hand-bouquets; only loose flowers to be worn on the dress should be sent.
2. Jewelry should be given as seldom as possible outside of your own family, dear relatives, or fiancée. If given to others, it should be very small, cost little, and not be too elaborate; having merely enough beauty about it to convey the feeling and intention of the gift. A costly present of this class is seldom appreciated as it should be, unless it is given to a lady who stands, or intends to stand, in a very dear position towards you, or to a gentleman friend of long standing and sincere friendship. The only exception allowable for costly gifts of jewelry outside of those rules already stated is in cases of marriage; where the act of presentation of jewels would furnish no ground of suspicion further than extravagance. Whether for a wedding or an ordinary gift, jewelry should always be sent in a box from the store direct, or by messenger; never present it in person. And when calling subsequently refuse the acceptation of thanks.
3. For bon-bons and elaborate boxes, also for articles not classed as jewelry, a much more lenient rule is applied. In fact, except for mere acquaintances, a present of this kind may be given to any one, friend or relative, married or unmarried. These, too, are not to be delivered in person, but sent with card from store or by messenger. In such presents, as in others, taste and fine judgment should be exercised. To a gift of any kind whatsoever an answer should not be expected for three days.
4. Photographs should never be solicited from a mere acquaintance. Wait till you know a lady well before asking for her likeness. No gentleman should be allowed to possess, nor should he seek to possess, a lady’s picture without first having met her at least seven times. He must first so establish his friendship with her that when he asks for her likeness she cannot justly use the common expression that “he must have her photograph for fear he might forget her face,” but would understand that his desire for it comes straight from the heart, and not with the intention of adding to a variety collection. And it is also unnecessary to comply with a like request from the lady till of fast acquaintance. An exchange of photographs is generally the safest way of overcoming any doubt which may arise in your mind as to the disposition which the lady will make of your picture, for then the maxim can be applied—“It’s a poor rule which can’t work both ways.”
