The Mermaid Club.
The Mermaid Culture Club request
That you will kindly be
On such and such a day their guest
At something after three.
I wrote at once that “I should be
Most charmed,” and donn’d my best
Dress diving-suit,—a joy to see,—
And at their club-house ’neath the sea
Arrived at “something after three”
Promptly (unpunctuality
Is something I detest).
The President, a mermaid fair,
Sat by a coral table,
And read an essay with an air
Intelligent and able
Upon—but you will never guess
The subject—it was nothing less
Than sunshades and umbrellas.
I really did my very best
To keep from laughing—as their guest.
That it was hard must be confessed
When next the meeting was addressed
On shoes, and which would wear the best—
Tan slippers or prunellas.
Then came (it did look like a joke)
Essays on bonnet, hat, and toque:
Said I, “They must be mocking.”
And when at length a mermaid rose,
And read a thesis to expose
The latest novelty in hose,
I felt my reason rocking.
But when at last the thing was o’er,
And I was back again on shore,
I fell to moralizing.
And as remembrance came to me
Of other clubs not in the sea,
Of essays read by ladies fair
Upon the “why” and “whence” and “where,”
Said I, “It’s not surprising.”
Then came (it did look like a joke)
Essays on bonnet, hat, and toque:
Said I, “They must be mocking.”
And when at length a mermaid rose,
And read a thesis to expose
The latest novelty in hose,
I felt my reason rocking.
But when at last the thing was o’er,
And I was back again on shore,
I fell to moralizing.
And as remembrance came to me
Of other clubs not in the sea,
Of essays read by ladies fair
Upon the “why” and “whence” and “where,”
Said I, “It’s not surprising.”
