The Untutored Giraffe.
child at school who fails to pass
Examination in his class
Of Natural History will be
So shaky in Zoölogy,
That, should he ever chance to go
To foreign parts, he scarce will know
The common Mus Ridiculus
From Felis or Caniculus.
And what of boys and girls is true
Applies to other creatures, too,
As you will cheerfully admit
When once I’ve illustrated it.
child at school who fails to pass
Examination in his class
Of Natural History will be
So shaky in Zoölogy,
That, should he ever chance to go
To foreign parts, he scarce will know
The common Mus Ridiculus
From Felis or Caniculus.
And what of boys and girls is true
Applies to other creatures, too,
As you will cheerfully admit
When once I’ve illustrated it.
Once on a time a young Giraffe
(Who when at school devoured the chaff,
And trampled underneath his feet
The golden grains of Learning’s wheat)
Upon his travels chanced to see
A Python hanging from a tree,
A thing he’d never met before.
All neck it seemed and nothing more;
And, stranger still, it was bestrown
With pretty spots much like his own.
“Well, well! I’ve often heard,” he said,
“Of foolish folk who lose their head;
But really it’s a funnier joke
To meet a head that’s lost its folk.
Once on a time a young Giraffe
(Who when at school devoured the chaff,
And trampled underneath his feet
The golden grains of Learning’s wheat)
Upon his travels chanced to see
A Python hanging from a tree,
A thing he’d never met before.
All neck it seemed and nothing more;
And, stranger still, it was bestrown
With pretty spots much like his own.
“Well, well! I’ve often heard,” he said,
“Of foolish folk who lose their head;
But really it’s a funnier joke
To meet a head that’s lost its folk.
“Dear me! Ha! ha! It makes me laugh.
Where has he left his other half?
If he could find it he would be
A really fine Giraffe, like me.”
The Python, waking with a hiss,
Exclaimed, “What kind of snake is this?
Your spots are really very fine,
Almost as good in fact as mine,
But with those legs I fail to see
How you can coil about a tree.
Take away half, and you would make
A very decent sort of snake—
Almost as fine a snake as I;
Indeed, it’s not too late to try.”
A something in the Python’s eye
Told the Giraffe ’t was best to fly,
Omitting all formality.
And afterward, when safe at home,
He wrote a very learned tome,
Called, “What I Saw beyond the Foam.”
Said he, “The strangest thing one sees
Is a Giraffe who hangs from trees,
And has—(right here the author begs
To state a fact) and has no legs!”
The book made a tremendous hit.
The public all devoured it,
Save one, who, minding how he missed
Devouring the author—hissed.