COMIC ARITHMETIC.
A FIGURANTE.
"Go the whole figure."—Sam Slick.
LONDON:
RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET.
1844.
LONDON:
R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
- Page
- The Sign of Equality—"Who are You?" [5]
- The Sign of Subtraction [6]
- A Pluralist [6]
- The Sacred Haltar [7]
- Dividing the Chinese, a cutting Joke [7]
- The Poor Curate—The Bishop [9]
- A Save-all [13]
- Mihi Cura Futuri [14]
- A Man of many Woes [15]
- The Man who takes care of No. 1 [22]
- "Take from" [25]
- Taken in and done for [27]
- "Who steals my Purse steals Trash." [28]
- "Forking up." [33]
- Lawyer dividing the Oyster [37]
- The Lion's Share [40]
- The Insolvent Trap.—"The Law binds, but the Law looses" [44]
- "Blowed Puffery" [50]
- "Out of Proportion" [52]
- Called to Account [54]
- "The nearest Way to a Man's Heart" [55]
- A Sliding Scale [57]
- "Broken Down" [59]
- Fractional Signs [60]
- An Ancient and Modern Mug [62]
- Knocking down the Lot [71]
- Done by Interest [72]
- At a Premium and Discount [73]
- The Old and New Principle—both with Credit [74]
- The Tin-der Passion [76]
- Faith and Duty [77]
- The Gallipot Crane [83]
- The Carpenter Woodpecker [84]
- The Red-tape Snipe [85]
- The Heron [86]
- A Decimal Figure [89]
- A Strong Tithe [90]
- The Point of the Bayonet [91]
- Practising at Exeter Hall.—Hulla, Boys, Hulla [97]
- Practising for the Ministry [102]
- Practising for the Opera [104]
- Discounting for a Man formerly [112]
- Measuring by the "Yard"—True fit [122]
- Charles I.—A Block-head [140]
- "Assurance" [146]
- Mutual Assurance [150]
- The World is kept up by Puff [177]
PREFACE.
TO THE READER, OR RATHER TO THOSE WHO HESITATE IN BUYING THIS WORK.
"Good wine needs no bush," and, therefore, little by way of preface is necessary to this Work. "He who is ignorant of arithmetic," says Archimedes, "is but half a man." Therefore, for the sake of manhood, which drapers'-boys and lawyers'-clerks attempt by means of mustachoes and penny-cigars, read this Work,—for if the dead abstractions of this science will make a man, what must the living realities do?—Nothing less than a Phœnix D'Orsay, which is at least 1 man ¾ and ⅝.
Read this book, then, my friends, young and old. It teaches practical philosophy in every chapter; wisdom in every page; and common sense in every line. Get this manual at the fingers' ends of your mind, and your physical and mental powers will be so expanded that you will be able to catch a comet by the tail; take the moon by the horns; knock down the great wall of China, à la Cribb; or measure the spectre of the Brocken for a pair of breeches, and thus cut a pretty Figure.