I AM INTERESTED.
Dear Sir, my faith in you is great,
Your honour long I've tested;
You are my customer, good Sir,
And I am interested.
To give you credit is my joy,
A joy sincerely breasted,
For twelve months, ay, for any date;
You see I'm interested.
And may you thrive, and in due time
Retire in comfort nested;
This is my fervent prayer, my friend,
For I am interested.
And may you have a plum or two,
In stock well sunk and vested,
To leave your worthy family—
I speak as interested.
What, "rather queer!" this fellow now
Must quickly be molested;
Write to him, Priggings, for you know
That I am interested.
Well, take his bill. Three months—no two;
Let it be well attested;
Now is the time to turn the screw,
For I am interested.
What, "no effects!" give him, no time,
But get the bill protested;
Such rascals must be quickly met,
When we are interested.
No cash!—well, write to Sniggs at once,
And let him be arrested;
To Banco Regis let him go,
For I am interested.
A DECIMAL FIGURE.
RULE XI.
DECIMALS.
Decimal Fractions are so called because the fractions are always tenths. They differ from Vulgar Fractions in this, that the denominator is not written, but a point before it is used instead.
A STRONG TITHE.
Decimals are best illustrated by tithes, which are general and universal tenths extracted in every part of "merry England." They are added, subtracted, multiplied, and divided like any other numbers, but to designate their value a point is prefixed.
In tithes, as in decimals, the denominator does not appear; that is to say, the incumbent rarely lives at his incumbency. When tithes are to be added, taken, or subtracted, the tithodecimo point is used as his representative, namely, the POINT OF THE BAYONET.
To make a point of "doing good by stealth" is a national virtue; and among all other "points" in this uncertain world, the "point blank" is the most certain. This may be made with a rifle, when the pockets are to be rifled, either with or without a bayonet at the end of it. The charge for spiritual care is best settled by a charge of dragoons; and a discharge of clerical arrears by a discharge of fire-arms.[4]