LAW EVOLUTION—GETTING INTO A LAW-SUIT.
"Will you walk into my office," said the lawyer, Mr. Sly,
"'Tis the prettiest little office that ever you did spy.
The way into my office is by a winding stair,
And I've a many funny things to show you when you're there."
"But I have heard," the client said, "you sport a web and chain,
And he who in your office gets comes not out clear again."
"I'm sure you must be weary, friend, of everlasting dunning;
Come, rest upon my legal wit, my gammon, and my cunning.
I'll get your debt at little cost, so only let me do it;
Or else perhaps the chap will break, and you will have to rue it."
"I'd rather not—I'd rather not," the wary client said;
"For I did never like to throw 'good money after bad.'"
"Leave all to me," the lawyer now with eloquence replied;
"A fig for costs, your case is clear, and you have me beside;
I'll take the case at any odds, and rather be dependent
Upon the issue of the whole—that is, on the defendant."
"Well, try it on," the client said, "you are a lad of wax;
So stick to him with tape and string—succeeding, we'll go snacks."
Then in the legal mesh and web of cunning Mr. Sly,
The client now was fairly caught as any little fly;
And round him twined all legal quirks, and briefs a dozen quire,
Writ, declaration, cognovit, bail, habeas, præmunire.
"You've lost the cause!" the client cried—"the loss to you, not me."
"Hum, ha—but stop a bit," said Sly—"stop, stop, and we shall see."
The lawyer mended now his web, and thread by thread he lengthened;
Made closer every mesh and hole, and every corner strengthened.
"The cause is lost, and you must pay—I bargained if I gained it;
You cannot think on other terms that I could have sustained it."
So round the hapless wretch he threw a law cord strong and good;
And thus he held it, hard and fast, and sucked his client's blood.