THE BALLAD OF MONTMORENCY GRAY

Since we came to Plattsburg Training Camp
Upon the 12th of May,
A lot of clever candidates
Have fallen by the way;
But the strangest fall among them all
Was Montmorency Gray.

Monty was a clever lad,
As bright as bright could be;
He came up days ahead of time—
Ahead of you and me—
And got in strong right from the start.
O a clever lad was he!

III

For Monty was an Officer
Of Uncle Sam's Reserve;
His uniform was spic and span
In every line and curve;
And what he lacked in other things,
He made up for in nerve.

He learned the I.D.R. by heart
Before the 1st of June;
He used to study late at night,
And in the morning soon;
No wonder that the Captain let him
Lead the 1st Platoon.

He asked the cutest questions
In the study hall at night;
He knew the difference between
A Cut and Fill at sight.
And when it said: "What do you do?"
He always did just right.

He memorized the map from
Chestnut Hill to Steven's Run;
He didn't have to draw a scale,
As we have always done;
He knew that you could see Five-Six—
Ty-Six from Six-O-One.

VII

And then this tragic episode
Of which I write occurred.
It happened sometime in the night
Of June the 23rd
That Montmorency stole away,
And left no sign or word.

VIII

We found at dawn that he had gone
And left us in the lurch.
The Colonel sent detachments out
For miles around to search;
A strong patrol to every knoll,
To every house, and church.

They found no trace in any place;
It caused a lot of talk;
They wired down to every town
From Plattsburg to New York.
As it was plain he took no train
He must have had to walk.

'Twas well into the Fall before
The mystery was cleared.
(They'd never heard a single word
Since Monty disappeared),
When the Colonel had a caller,
An old farmer, with a beard.

He said his name was Topper,
And he lived in Table Rock,
And what he told the Colonel
Gave the Old Man quite a shock;
They were closeted together
Until after ten o'clock.

XII

From Gettysburg to Plattsburg
Mr. Topper came to say
How he'd found a man in uniform
Down near his home one day,
Who, judging from his clothing, must
Have walked a long, long way.

XIII

He told the sad and tragic tale
Of how he came to find,
While on his way to Hershey's Mill
With a load of corn to grind,
The young man wandering on a hill,
And wandering in his mind.

XIV

He took him to his farmhouse, where
For seven weeks he lay
And talked and muttered to himself
In a most peculiar way.
He gave his name before he died
As Montmorency Gray.

He seemed more sick than lunatic,
Mr. Topper had to grant;
As meek and mild as a little child,
He did not rave or rant,
He only cried, until he died:
"You ought to, but you can't!"

ALWAYS WITH ANOTHER FELLOW