CHARACTERS
NOXUS PODUNKUS: Grand Referendunce Chairman of the Federated Musnud of the World.
SHISHMASH HASH HASH: Master of Ceremonies to the Court of Progress.
| Of— | Savants | —One hundred |
| Moonshees | ||
| Roctor-Proctors | ||
| Pundits | ||
| Theorists | ||
| Seers |
| Of— | |
| Oracles | —One Hundred |
| Solons | |
| Nestors | |
| Gamaliels | |
| Daniels |
| Of— | Dizzards | 50 |
| Zanys | 100 | |
| Fuddys | 100 | |
| Hoddy-Doddys | 100 | |
| Loobies | 1000 | |
| Gaberlunzies | 1000 | |
| Nizys | 5000 |
| Of Descendant Sons and Daughters of Ancient and Honorable | Anti-Vivisectionists | —50,000 |
| Anti-Vaccinationists | ||
| Anti-Contraceptionists | ||
| Anti-Saloon Leaguers | ||
| Anti-Vice Crusaders | ||
| Anti-Lewd Book Examiners | ||
| Eugenic Sires | ||
| Free and Accepted Boy Scouts | ||
| Professors of Christian Economy | ||
| Feminists | ||
| Moral Prophylaxers | ||
| Non-Smokers’ Social Unionists | ||
| Seventh Day Adventists | ||
| Sabbath Day Exclusivists | ||
| Holy Rollers | ||
| Evangelists | ||
| King’s Daughters | ||
| Women Magazine Editors | ||
| Library Protection Association Guards | ||
| Watch and Ward Society Guards | ||
| Prohibitionists | ||
| Federated Philosophers | ||
| Union Astronomers | ||
| Socialists |
| Of plaster or Ossified Specimens of Ancient and Degraded | Gamblers | —One Each |
| Saloon-keepers | ||
| Bartenders | ||
| Financiers | ||
| Thieves | ||
| Vivisectionists | ||
| Vaccinationists | ||
| Philosophers | ||
| Politicians | ||
| Astronomers | ||
| Magdalens | ||
| Madams | ||
| Novelists | ||
| Playwrights | ||
| Scenario Writers | ||
| Musicians | ||
| Painters | ||
| Poets | ||
| Cigarette Fiends | ||
| Dope Fiends | ||
| Sabbath Day Breakers | ||
| Pragmatists | ||
| Predatory Rich | ||
| Anarchists | ||
| White Slavers | ||
| Nietzscheans | ||
| Scientists | ||
| Chemists | ||
| Physicists | ||
| Stoics | ||
| Liars | ||
| Dogs | ||
| Scoundrels |