CHORUS.

Oh, machine guns, machine guns!
They're the things to rake the Kaiser aft and fore!
[May they never jam on us]
Till we've gone and won this gosh-darn war!

Oh, machine guns are the handy things to drive the Fritzy out
When he hides back of bags of sand;
And machine guns are the dandy things to put the Hun to rout
If he tries to regain his land.
So just keep the clips a-comin', and we'll give her all the juice
As we speed along our glorious way:
And Von Hindenburg and Ludendorff will beat it like the deuce
When the little old rat-rattlers start to play!

[CHORUS.]

Oh, machine guns, machine guns!
They're the things to rake the Kaiser aft and fore!
May they never jam on us
[Till we've gone and won this gosh-darn war!]

——
CAN'T DO WITHOUT 'EM
——

Scene: An A.E.F. cookshack, during sanitary inspection.

Enter, to the cook standing at attention, one major, U.S.M.C., [accompanied by one major, British Army Medical Corps.]

U.S. Major: "Well cook, how's everything going?"

[Cook: "Rotten, sir;] men are either all sick or away on D.S., and there's only the mess sergeant and myself to look out for things. You can't get along without K.P.'s."

U.S. Major (to his British friend): "Major, you told me you knew a good deal of American Army slang; what would you say our friend the cook meant by 'K.P.'s'?"

British Major: "K.P.'s? Why, ah-er, I should say that cook was undoubtedly referring to the Knights of Pythias!"

FAMILY HOTEL, 7, Ave. du Trocadéro.
Full board from 10 francs.

HOTEL D'ALBE, Av. Champs-Elysées &
Avenue de l'Alma, Paris.
PATRONISED BY AMERICANS.

——
ONE EYE IS NOT TRUE BLUE.
——
So a Hoosier Patriot Tries to
Return It to Berlin.
——

Paul Gary of Anderson, Indiana, is all American, with the exception of a glass eye. The substitute optic is alien. Gary tried to enlist in the U. S. Marine Corps at their recruiting station in Louisville, Ky., but was rejected when his infirmity was discovered by Sergeant G. C. Wright.

"Didn't you know that the loss of an eye would prevent your enlisting?" asked the sergeant.

"I thought it might," explained Gary, "but this glass blinker is the only part of me that was made in Germany, and I want to take it back."

He was advised to mail it.

——
QUITE RIGHT.
——

"Do you suffer from headaches?" queried the M. O.

"Certainly I do," rejoined the hurried infantry officer. "If I enjoyed them as I do whisky and soda, I wouldn't have consulted you!"—Aussie, the Australian Soldiers' Magazine.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
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Paris: 1 & 3 Rue des Italiens.
UNITED STATES DEPOSITARY OF PUBLIC MONEYS
Places its banking facilities at the disposal of the
officers and men of the
AMERICAN EXPEDITIONARY FORCES
Special facilities afforded officers with accounts
with this institution to negotiate their personal
checks anywhere in France. Money transferred to
all parts of the United States by draft or cable.
Capital and Surplus : : : $50,000,000
Resources more than : : : $600,000,000
AN AMERICAN BANK WITH AMERICAN METHODS

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===== PARIS OFFICE =====
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GERMAN BRANDS
YOUNG MOTHER
WITH AN IRON.
——
Victim of a Violation
Officially Labeled by
Army Authorities.
——
PAINT BADGE FOR OTHERS
——
Children of German Fathers
Catalogued as the Government's
Property.
——
FORCED INTO MENIAL SERVICE
——
An Officer Formerly in British
Army Tells How Kultur
Repopulates Itself.

A new and startling story of German atrocities is told by an American formerly in the service of the British Army, but now attending one of the A.E.F. schools in preparation for a commission in the American Army. It is in accordance with other stories of the prostitution of womanhood which the Kaiser is forcing in order to repopulate the German Empire.

The rapid British advance at Cambria, in November, when towns which the Germans had occupied for three years were captured before the latter could deport the civilian population into Germany as is their custom, disclosed the latest effort of the German army. French women and girls had been made the victims.

"Among the refugees who passed along the roads making their way southward farther into France after we made our first big advance were scores of women and girls, each marked on her breast by a cross in red paint," said the officer. "These were disclosed when the refugees passed in front of our medical officers who were inspecting them. All of them were about to become mothers, and the French interpreter who was assisting the medicos explained that the cross indicated that German soldiers were the fathers. The crosses had been painted on them, the women explained, to show that their children would belong to the German Government.