A Satire Anthology

by Unknown

SAME OLD STORY

HISTORY, and nature, too, repeat themselves, they say;

Men are only habit’s slaves; we see it every day.

Life has done its best for me—I find it tiresome still;

For nothing’s everything at all, and everything is nil.

Same old get-up, dress, and tub;

Same old breakfast; same old club;

Same old feeling; same old blue;

Same old story—nothing new!

Life consists of paying bills as long as you have health;

Woman? She’ll be true to you—as long as you have wealth;

Think sometimes of marriage, if the right girl I could strike;

But the more I see of girls, the more they are alike.

Same old giggles, smiles, and eyes;

Same old kisses; same old sighs;

Same old chaff you; same adieu;

Same old story—nothing new!

Go to theatres sometimes to see the latest plays;

Same old plots I played with in my happy childhood’s days;

Hero, same; same villain; and same heroine in tears,

Starving, homeless, in the snow—with diamonds in her ears.

Same stern father making “bluffs”;

Leading man all teeth and cuffs;

Same soubrettes, still twenty-two;

Same old story—nothing new!

Friend of mine got married; in a year or so, a boy!

Father really foolish in his fond paternal joy;

Talked about that “kiddy,” and became a dreadful bore—

Just as if a baby never had been born before.

Same old crying, only more;

Same old business, walking floor;

Same old “kitchy—coochy—coo!”

Same old baby—nothing new!

Harry B. Smith.