GREEK
A friend asking him how great glory was procured, Agesilaus answered, By contempt of death.
Being asked the boundaries of the Spartan state, he answered, The points of our spears.
One asking him why Sparta had no walls, he shewed him armed citizens, saying, These are the walls of Sparta.
Being very fond of his children, he would sometimes ride about on a cane among them. A friend catching him at this sport, Agesilaus said, Tell nobody till you are yourself a father.
King Demaratus being asked in company whether he was silent through folly, or wisdom, answered, A fool cannot be silent.
Cleomenes the son of Cleombrotus, when presented with some game-cocks, by a person who, enhancing the gift, said they were of a breed who would die before they yielded; answered, Give me rather some of the breed that kill them.
Pausanias, when a physician told him “You look well,” answered, Yes, you are not my physician.
When the same was blamed by a friend, for speaking ill of a physician, whom he had never tried, he replied, If I had tried him, I should not have lived to speak ill of him.
Charillus, being angry with his slave, said to him, Were I not in a passion, I would kill thee.
A dancer saying to a Spartan, “You cannot stand so long on one leg as I can.” True, answered the Spartan, but any goose can.
Another Spartan mother giving her son his shield, when going to battle, said Son, either this, or upon this.
Another to her son who complained that his sword was short, said Do you add a step to it.
One objecting to him his luxurious feeding, he showed him some dear-bought dish, and said, “Would not you buy this, if it were sold for a penny?” “Surely,” said the other. Then, said Aristippus, I only give to luxury what you give to avarice.
Diogenes the Cynic, being in the house of Plato, strode over the carpets with his dirty feet, saying I trample the pride of Plato. True, said Plato, but with a greater pride.
Seeing a very unskilful archer shoot, he seated himself by the mark. The reason was That he may not hit me.
Going to the town of Myndus, and seeing the gates very large, and the town small, he called out Men of Myndus! shut your gates least the town should escape.
Being asked of what beast the bite is most dangerous, he answered Of wild beasts, that of a slanderer: of tame, that of a flatterer.
Entering a dirty bath he said Where are those washed who wash here?
Being asked what wine he liked best, he said Another’s.
Crates the Cynic of Thebes, being asked a remedy for love, said Hunger is one remedy. Time is a better. The best is a rope.
Theophrastus to one who was silent in company said If you are a fool you do wisely! if you are wise you do foolishly.
Empedocles saying to Xenophanes the philosopher “That a wise man could not be found.” True, answered Xenophanes, for it must be a wise man who knows him.
Archelaus, to a prating barber, who asked how he would please to be shaved? answered, In silence.
One asking Demosthenes what is the first point in eloquence, he answered, Acting. And the second? Acting. And the third? Acting still.
An Athenian who wanted eloquence, but was very brave, when another had, in a long and brilliant speech, promised great affairs, got up and said, Men of Athens, all that he has said, I will do.
Zeuxis entered into a contest of art with Parrhasius. The former painted grapes so truly that birds came and pecked at them. The latter delineated a cloth so exactly, that Zeuxis coming in, said, “Take away the cloth that we may see this piece.” And finding his error, said, Parrhasius, thou hast conquered. I deceived but birds, thou an artist.
Zeuxis painted a boy carrying grapes: the birds came again and pecked. Some applauding, Zeuxis flew to the picture in a passion, saying, My boy must be very ill painted.
Gnathena the courtesan, when a very small bottle of wine was brought in, with the praise that it was very old, answered, It is very little for its age.
Philip of Macedon, sitting in judgment after dinner, an old woman receiving an unjust sentence, exclaimed, “I appeal.” “To whom!” said Philip. To Philip, when sober, answered the matron. The king took the lesson.