AFTER DINNER SPEECHES

Recipe for an After-dinner Speech

Three long breaths.

Compliment to the audience.

Funny Story.

Outline of what speaker is not going to say.

Points that he will touch on later.

Two Bartlett's Familiar Quotations.

Outline of what speaker is going to say.

Points that he has not time to touch on now.

Reference to what he said first.

Funny Story.

Compliment to the audience.

Ditto to our City, State and Country.

Applause.

N. B. For an oration, use same formula, repeating each sentence three times in slightly different words.

—Mary Eleanor Roberts.

"You wrote this report of last night's banquet, did you?" asked the editor with the copy in his hand.

"Yes, sir," replied the reporter.

"And this expression, 'The banquet-table groaned'—do you think that is proper?"

"Oh, yes, sir. The funny stories the after-dinner speakers told would make any table groan."

See also Politicians; Public speakers.