COMPETITION
The clergyman's eloquence may have been at fault, still he felt annoyed to find that an old gentleman fell asleep during the sermon on two consecutive Sundays. So, after service on the second week, he told the boy who accompanied the sleeper that he wished to speak to him in the vestry.
"My boy," said the minister, when they were closeted together, "who is that elderly gentleman you attend church with?"
"Grandpa," was the reply.
"Well," said the clergyman, "if you will only keep him awake during my sermon, I'll give you a nickel each week."
The boy fell in with the arrangement, and for the next two weeks the old gentleman listened attentively to the sermon. The third week, however, found him soundly asleep.
The vexed clergyman sent for the boy and said: "I am very angry with you. Your grandpa was asleep again today. Didn't I promise you a nickel a week to keep him awake?"
"Yes," replied the boy, "but grandpa now gives me a dime not to disturb him."
"Yes," said the specialist, as he stood at the bedside of the sick purchasing agent, "I can cure you."
"What will it cost?" asked the sick man, faintly.
"Ninety-five dollars."
"You'll have to shade your price a little," replied the purchasing agent, "I have a better bid from the undertaker."