COOKERY

"So your husband kept house and cooked his own meals while you were away. Did he enjoy it?"

"He says he did; but I notice that the parrot has learned to swear during my absence."

"My husband has had indigestion for the past month."

"Really! I'm so sorry! I had no idea you were without a cook."

OFFICER—"Is that soup ready, Jones?"

OFFICER'S SERVANT—"No, sir, the stove went out, sir."

OFFICER—"Went out! Then why don't you light it again?"

OFFICER'S SERVANT—"'Cos it went out by the roof, sir."

"How do you like my pound cake, dearie?" asked Mrs. Newlywed.

"Why, er-er-er," stammered Mr. Newlywed, "I don't think you pounded it enough, did you?"

She had not been married long. She made a pie for dinner. During the meal she hesitatingly remarked to her husband:

"I think I left out something and the pie isn't very good."

After taking a bite he sadly replied:

"You are wrong, my dear! Nothing you left out could make a pie taste like this. It's something you put in."