DEBTS
CREDITOR—"You couldn't go around in your fine automobile if you paid your debts."
DEBTOR—"That's so! I'm glad you look at it in the same light that I do."
HARDUPPE—"I really must apologize for looking so shabby."
FLUBDUBB—"Oh, clothes don't make the man."
HARDUPPE—"Still, many a man owes a lot to his tailor."
"Look 'ere—I asks yer for the last time for that 'arf-dollar yer owes me."
"Thank 'evins!—that's the end of a silly question."
A floating debt is a poor life saver.
"Yes," said the world traveler, "the Chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on New-year's day."
"So I understand," said the American host, "but, then, the Chinese don't have a Christmas the week before."
OKE—"Would you be satisfied if you had all the money you wanted?"
OWENS—"I'd be satisfied if I had all the money my creditors wanted."
MR. THURSDAY—"Our friend, Dodge, tells me that he is doing settlement work lately."
MR. FRIDAY—"Yes, his creditors finally cornered him."
"How did Cranbury ever manage to get so deeply in debt as he is?"
"I wish I knew. I can't even stand my grocer off for more than a week at a time."
RASTUS—"How much, boss?"
DRUGGIST—"Sixty cents and three cents war tax."
RASTUS—"Boss, Ah done thought de wah was over."
DRUGGIST—"Sure, it is, but we have to pay the debts."
RASTUS—"Boss, Ah always thought de one whut lost paid de debts. Dat's why I fight so hard."
"I was preparing to shave a chap the other afternoon," says a head barber. "I had trimmed his hair, and from such talk as I had had with him I judged him to be an easy-going, unexcitable sort of fellow. But suddenly his manner changed. Out of the corner of his eye he had seen a man enter whose appearance upset him."
"Hurry, George!" he muttered to me. "Lather to the eyes—quick, quick! Here comes my tailor!"
IRATE FATHER—"It's astonishing, Richard, how much money you need."
SON—"I don't need it, father; it's the hotel-keepers, the tailors, and the taxicab men."
See also Bills; Collecting of accounts.