INCOME TAX
We saw Diogenes the other day with his lantern.
"Still looking for an honest man?" we asked.
He shook his head mournfully.
"No. I gave that up long ago. I wish I'd stuck to it. It wasn't half so hopeless as what I'm doing now."
He certainly did look despondent, and our hearts went out to him.
"What are you looking for now, then?" we asked.
He sighed. "I'm looking for a congressman who made out his income tax without anybody's help."
We don't know who it was who wrote the income-tax blank, but we are certain that he stole his style either from Robert Browning or Henry James.
Income Tax Tips
(All replies to questions in this column given free of tax.)
PUZZLED—Don't be bluffed. Simply put all extra leaves in dining-room table, grasp tax return firmly with both hands, and throw it flat on its back. When you have it down brand it on first page with hot ink.
C.H.—Yes, algebra may be used in figuring your return. Personally we employ trigonometry, altho many prefer calculus and a couple of lawyers.
TAXPAYER—Your problem is as clear as a Chinese laundryticket. Simply deduct the net profit of losses (plus inventories at end of year) and add income from salaries, wages, bonuses, director's fees, and pensions. Nothing to it!
J.J.C.—Refer to Table 113 on Page 11, Section 28, Part IV of return. Then if Item 86, Schedule V, line 7, exceeds the sum stated in Item 21, Page 9, Schedule Z, get another blank form.
CONFUSED—No, you should have figured the amounts in Items 34, 60, and 69 as net losses from Wear and Tear, Obsolescense and Depletion Charged Off (see K (2) on Page 8 of Instructions) before entering total in Item 94, Schedule O. It's perfectly simple.
L.F.—Don't worry about your next year's tax. You may not have any income.
See also Profiteers.